***
Boston didn't look much different, but as Sean took a cab home from the airport, he felt the change in the air. When he'd left this town he'd been stifled, like he was choking on fumes, and couldn't breathe freely as he did now.
The city had seemed oppressive, like a heavy cloud hung over it. Now he knew the cloud had circled him, keeping away light and sunshine and anything that might penetrate his protective shell. His dark space had been a comfort to him and he'd clung to it fiercely, not wanting to let it go. It had driven away his wife, his friends and most of the well-meaning people that had the bad fortune to be near.
His stay at Paradise Cove had changed all that. The air felt fresher and he could breathe again. He could respond to the taxi driver and not mind his friendly questions. He even joked about the weather and admitted to being in the Keys.
He was a different man than the one who left six weeks ago. A better man. And he hoped whole. Time would tell. He had surgery to do in a few days and just the thought had his fingers itching. He couldn't wait to get in there and perform the magic he'd learned so well. Kayla had been right to send him back.
This is where he belonged.
The next twenty-four hours flew by in a blur. He arrived at the hospital and was warmly greeted by all his colleagues and friends, and within a few short hours it was as though he'd never left. Time almost stood still as he sucked in the energy, the sights and sounds and smells that were as familiar to him as his own scent. He strode with renewed confidence, knowing he was revered by many—and the few people who were not enamored wished to be in his shoes instead.
A year ago he had given Brian Dempster a stent for his clogged artery, but it had not stood up. In the past month he'd become short of breath and had felt a lack of energy during his workouts at the gym, or during a round of golf. He'd set up an appointment with his cardiologist and had a stress test done. Not happy with the results, Brian had been sent over to the hospital and had had an EKG and an angiogram. It indicated a ninety percent blockage in one artery, and a slightly higher blockage in a second.
His cardiologist, Dr. Nielsen, had explained that bypass surgery was required. Brian had demanded Sean Flannigan to be his surgeon, and although other top notch doctors were suggested, the affluent and powerful patient remained adamant that Dr. Flannigan was widely known to be the best.
Sean hoped to hell he was right. That evening he'd gone back to the hotel and had spent a restless night in bed. Tossing and turning his mind had conjured up every possible complication and scenario for this type of routine operation, and he'd refreshed himself step by step. There would be no surprises tomorrow. He knew instinctively how to handle any given situation, and that was a part of the reason he was good at what he did. He was unflappable. Calm. Cool. Controlled.
He took a long shower in the morning, mentally preparing himself for the day ahead. He would prove himself once again and reclaim his role as one of the top surgeons at Mass General.
He entered the hospital early so that he could familiarize himself with his patient and medical history. Brian Dempster was a relatively young man. Sixty-two. Following his procedure last year, Brian had completed six weeks of rehab, and continued to exercise. He didn't smoke, and drank occasionally. Yet, with all that, he now required a double bypass surgery.
His patient had arrived much earlier to be prepped, and was now waiting for him to scrub up and get to work. His nerves were steady and he felt his heartbeat quicken as he prepared to enter the OR. The patient's age was beneficial for an operation like this, due to the fact that obtaining adequate vessels to use for the grafts was difficult if dealing with someone twenty years older.
Once he obtained the vessels, they would be harvested and used to detour blood around the blockage to the heart. The blood would then be routed around the blocked portion of the diseased vessel.
After that was accomplished, he'd make an incision to open the chest and divide the sternum in half. This was the part of the surgery that a young resident doctor might balk at, but a surgeon with as much experience as he could crack the breastbone as easily as a chef could an egg. The patient's heart would be put "on pump" using a cardiopulmonary bypass machine. This machine would temporarily do the work of the heart and lungs, allowing him to stop the heart and perform the intricate surgery without the distracting movement of a beating heart.
Routine.
He took a deep breath and walked in. The attending nurse smiled at him. "Good morning, Doctor. Good to have you back."
"It's good to be back." He nodded at the others he knew, recognizing the faces above the operating masks. "Shall we have a little Bohemian Rhapsody this morning?"
"Doctor, I thought you always hated pop music."
"Not today, Stella. I'm in a Rhapsody kind of mood." He winked, and the young nurse's eyes widened in surprise.
"Okay. Queen it is." She found the music which another younger physician preferred, and slipped the disc in the player. The room exploded with sound.
"Perfect," Sean said, and went to work.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Sean had to stop the procedure an hour in as the patient was bleeding profusely. Blood was to be expected, but too much blood was a complication that needed to be dealt with at once. Sweat broke out on his brow and without asking, Nurse Kelly patted it dry.
Others around the table were fighting to stench the flow of blood. If it wasn't contained, the patient would need a transfusion. Clamps were used as well as suction, but still the blood flowed quicker than they could put a stop to it.
"Damn!" Sean swore, blinking rapidly. "Get this sucker fixed so I can do my work." His voice was harsher than usual, his stress showing. The blood made his visibility limited. "What have we got?"
"We got some Evicel standing by, Doctor."
Sean knew that this type of fibrin sealant, once thawed, was their best hope to get this under control. It was applied topically to treat critical bleeding from small blood vessels that could not be reached or stopped by conventional methods. "Well then, hop to it," he told his assisting physician. He stepped back, hands in the air to give the others room to stench the flow of blood. His own blood pressure had spiked, and he sucked in a few steadying breaths, and released them slowly when Dr. Harvey turned to him with a smile.
"It's contained, Doctor."
"Thanks. Good job." The next few hours flew by, and all that was left was his sewing up. With steady hands and a delicate touch he closed the open chest, knowing that with his skill the scar would be a clean, straight line. Dempster might not be a candidate for the cover of a muscle magazine, but somehow he didn't think the man would mind.
From that day forward, Sean slid right back into his role at the hospital. He kept meaning to call Kayla and let her know how he was doing, yet every time he clicked her number on his i-Phone, he couldn't hit send.
He froze when he thought of talking to her. For once in his life he was at a loss for words. Not that he'd ever been particularly good expressing his emotions, but now it was especially dicey. He was pretty damn sure that he was in love with her, but he still had a job to do here, and had to prove himself whole. Half a man wasn't good enough for that girl. If he returned, no, when he returned to Paradise Cove, he would be a fully functional human being that could laugh and love and give as much as he got. Until then, silence was better than empty promises.
Right now, he existed outside of the hospital walls, but he didn't feel the need to socialize with anyone not in the medical world. This had also been the case when he'd been married before. Laura had never known anything else from him so she never complained. But Kayla was a different woman and she would have bigger expectations.
Yet, when he lay in his bed at night, he could still see the stars and a bright moon glistening over the ocean, and hear the sound of the waves breaking, and the sobs of a woman with a wounded heart.
***
Kayla tried to keep her eyes glued to the sandy shore in front of her,
but on the return run that morning she failed miserably. Half way home she stopped to stare out to sea. She had no right to hope. It was ridiculous of her to pine for a man who didn't love her, for someone who had another life elsewhere. Even if he cared for her as much as she did him, they were geographically doomed. Thousands of miles kept them apart. Their love was not to be. But that didn't stop her from feeling a gut wrenching loss, and a pain that refused to go away.
Making the ache inside of her worse, the Cuban refugee center had called to say that someone would be coming by this afternoon to pick up the Hernandez family and reunite them with their cousins in Miami. Although only a week old, she and her sisters already adored the baby. Juanita and Miguel were like a part of their own family, and would be greatly missed.
Why did life keep changing? She asked the million dollar question. Why couldn't she ever keep her loved ones near and dear, instead of only for a brief moment in time? She tried not to be angry or sad, because she'd experienced enough loss in her life to know that people she loved would always live inside of her. They'd never be forgotten, and life would go on without them.
Her steps were slow as she walked the last half mile home. Raul was weeding the path through the mangroves, the way he'd seen her do it time and again. He smiled and waved when he saw her, and ran down the beach to walk with her. His feet were bare because he liked the squishy sand and the waves running over his toes.
"Do I have to go?" he asked, jumping when a big wave crashed over his foot.
"I wish you didn't, but it's not up to me." She ran a hand over his head. "I'm going to miss all of you." She smiled at him although her throat felt tight. "Take care of Merica for me, will you? Always protect your little sister."
"I will. And Mama and Papa too."
"That's a good boy."
He slipped his hand into hers and glanced at her face. "I wish you could come with us. I love you."
"I love you too, Raul. But I have to stay here and look after our guests. Maybe soon, you and your family can come back here and stay with us for a few days. Like maybe next summer after you all get settled in Miami. It's not very far. Only about an hour and a half away."
"I know. And I have cousins I'm going to meet. I wonder if they will like me?"
"Of course they will. Who wouldn't? You are one cool dude."
"What's a dude?"
"It's American, for a really nice boy." She gave him a hug. "Always stay just the way you are. A good boy. Mind your mother and father." Stay out of drugs and away from thugs, she added silently, already afraid for him.
"I will, Tia Kayla. Can I call you that?"
"Sure you can. I like it. And you can write me when you go to school, or email me from a computer too."
"I don't have a "puter."
"No, but the American schools do. They will teach you everything you need to know, and you will be a very bright student, and have lots of friends. You will love Miami and have a wonderful life, you hear?"
"Why are you crying?" he asked softly.
"Because I'm so happy for you," she answered and swiped at her eyes.
"Do you miss Doctor Sean?" He glanced out at sea and shaded his eyes with his hand. "Why doesn't he come back?"
She wondered the same thing. "He's busy. He has to take care of a lot of sick people. He's got a very important job."
"Like you? You look after all of us, and all the new guests too. I don't want to go." He dropped her hand and crossed his arms against his chest. "I'm going to stay right here."
She laughed. "Merica needs you, Raul. So does your mommy. But anytime you want to visit, you can. Not during school days, but on holidays."
"Okay." He skipped off. "See you later, Tia Kayla. Mama’s going to be looking for me."
Yes, she would miss them all when they left. But in another month or two, every cabin would be full of visitors, and they were steadily booked until spring. She would have too much to do to mope and miss people who were gone. They were fulfilling Allan's dream and that thought alone would keep her happy.
There was a tearful farewell outside Smooth Sailing, as the sisters and her mother lined up to kiss the Hernandez family good-bye. Anna hugged Juanita and slipped an envelope inside a straw bag she'd given her. "Take care of your family and if you need anything, you call us. Understand?"
Juanita nodded. "Si. Gracias." She bobbed her head. "For everything."
Kayla held the sleeping infant in her arms, and kissed her forehead gently. "Be good, sweet baby." Eyes brimming, she handed Merica back to Juanita.
Taylor hugged Miguel. "Remember what we talked about. If you have time next summer," she said, throwing her arms around him in a big hug.
"Si. Si. I won't forget."
Brittany had disappeared during the good-byes, and now she reappeared dragging a suitcase behind her.
Kayla gave her a puzzled look. "More presents?" she asked.
Brittany fidgeted and wouldn't meet her eyes. She handed the suitcase to the driver waiting next to the car. "I want to go to Miami. I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you. Any of you. I don't know how long I will be gone, or if I'll stay. But I have to go. You know I do."
Anna reached out for her, but Brittany stepped back toward the car. "Please let me go." She glanced at the driver. "Do you have room for me?"
The gray-haired man looked toward Anna as if asking permission. "This is up to you, ma'am. We can give her a ride, but then she will be on her own."
"I don't expect you to take care of me," Brittany said with an air of defiance. "But I don't have a car and could use a ride."
"Where will you stay?" Kayla asked, her heart breaking once again. "What will you do?"
"I have some money put aside. I want to dance and I will dance. I can find work. And if that doesn't work, Marc has asked me to come to Sarasota. So I might try my luck there. I haven't got it figured all out yet, but I do know that I don't belong in Paradise Cove." She looked at her family, her big brown eyes pleading for understanding. "I told Taylor last night. She agreed that I should leave."
Taylor put an arm around her sister. "Of course you should. Go. Follow your dreams, and if they don't work out you always know your way back home."
After more hugs and kisses and good wishes, Anna, Kayla and Taylor stood together and watched as the Hernandez family and Brittany piled into the car, and drove away in a cloud of dust. Then with a heavy heart the three women silently returned to their own cabin.
Kayla glanced up at the door where the new sign now hung. The ridiculous name Passions had been removed, and now their humble cottage was named after the flowers planted out front. "Birds of Paradise."
Unfortunately, there were only three birds left. The youngest had flown the coop.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Sean grew more comfortable in the hospital environment day by day, but his home life was empty. There was no joy or laughter, or anything to look forward to. He was renting a place by the week and had no inclination to find something permanent. Actually speaking, a month had gone by and he didn't feel any more complete than the day he had flown back into this city. He couldn't get whole here.
A vital part of his life was missing. He might be a damn fool, but he wasn't a stupid one. He had left behind the one thing he couldn't do without. His well being, his future happiness, and hers depended on his recognition of this fact. Kayla made him happy. She completed him. He had never really understood what that meant, but living without her, he got it now. He could survive—sure, but he would never be fulfilled. His life, his heart, his soul would remain empty and barren.
And he knew exactly what he had to do about it. First he would give notice at the hospital and apply for a position at one of the many fine cardiac institutes in Miami, starting with Mount Sinai in Coral Gables. It was 73 miles from Paradise Cove. He'd already Googled it and sent them his resume.
Once he had the job and all his ducks in a row, he'd show up and throw himself at Kayla's mercy, begging her to forgive him
for not calling, and running off like he had. With any luck she might accept his apology and make him the happiest man alive.
Another two weeks passed before he could make the transition. It was now mid October. The autumn leaves had turned Boston into a colorful world, but he had something much prettier than that where he was going. His flight landed in Miami on time, and he grabbed a cab to the marina and located Sara, his sloop. He paid the amount due to the boat master, got his key and headed for home.
Home is where the heart is and his heart belonged to Kayla. He knew this now and would do his best to convince her that their love was real. She'd tried to shake him off before and he'd let her. This time would be different. He wouldn't let her run away from him, or be afraid to love with all her heart.
It was happy hour when he pulled into the small marina next door to the cottages, and he quickly tied up his boat and took off on a run. He'd spent too much time already away from her, and he couldn't stand to be apart for one more minute.
He ran up the slope, and his feet carried him toward the pool. He could hear her laughter and his heart lifted and swelled. A tightness grew in his chest as it expanded to make room for all the love that had grown inside.
Taylor saw him first. She waved, then quickly lowered her hand. She walked over to Kayla and whispered something. Even from a distance of thirty feet he could see her knees weaken, her body slump, and she reached out a hand to some guy, clutching his muscular arm.
Who was this fellow? He was a good looking man perhaps a few years older than Kayla herself. Sean had to be darn near ten years older than either one of them. Not that he cared about his age—he cared about the way the man handled Kayla, as if he had some right.
His step faltered, but Sean wouldn't let anything come between himself and Kayla, not ever again. "Kayla!" he called, and felt a rush of excitement pushing him forward. He couldn't wait to claim her as his.
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