by Wendy Byrne
I had to remain steadfast with my decision. If he really was going to The Blues Stop tomorrow, I had every intention of letting Patrick know about it. Somebody had to have his back. And since Garrett was out of the country, and my skills were less than adequate, Patrick was the logical choice.
I shrugged, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his neck. “I say we just go for it and get all this sexual tension out of the way. At least one of those lingering issues between us will be put to rest. Besides, it might be like you said, all spark and no fire.”
He kissed me long and hard, making my blood sizzle. Wanton and aroused, I was more than ready to do the deed.
“We’ve been doing this dance since that first day, haven’t we?”
I nodded. “Like when you were up close and personal with my underwear.”
He smiled. “That was some delectable underwear I didn’t mind packing.”
“I have the Wal-Mart special now, so don’t get your hopes up.”
He kissed my neck, sending sparks flaming down the right side of my body.
“I want to be clear. We can never make it long term.”
I sighed. “Does killing the mood just come naturally for you?”
“I’m trying to set things right before it gets out of control.” In contrast to his words, he pulled me even closer. “I can’t be what you want. I can’t be open about how I feel or what I want. I’m not like you.”
“Maybe you need a little practice.” I sucked in the skin at the base of his throat.
“Doubt it.” He wound his fingers through my hair. “But it doesn’t matter because with your talent, you won’t be sticking around any place too long. You’re destined for bigger and better things.”
“I’m flattered you think so highly of me, but not everybody wants to make it big. I don’t want to be a star and go on tour. I just want to make a living doing what I love.”
Then he kissed me. And everything around us seemed to disappear.
“Hmmmm. You sure do know how to kiss. I guess that means you’ve gotten laid a time or two after all.”
He chuckled. “You’re not getting a virgin.” He nibbled at my neck.
I grabbed his hand and dragged him upstairs in record time. He stopped at the top of the stairs, sucked his body against mine, and kissed me so thoroughly I felt light-headed. By the time we got to the bedroom, I didn’t have time to think, only react. Which worked for me. I didn’t want to do any deep thinking right now.
While our lips and tongues intertwined, my head spun out of control, and I panted like a dog. Not a particularly sexy look no doubt, but I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. I’d waited forever for him to lose that tight rein on his control. And, right now, his body trembled as much as mine.
“Which is it, nervous or scared?” His lips nipped at a sensitive spot below my ear before he pulled off my t-shirt.
“What?” My whole body quivered, and we’d done nothing more than neck. I couldn’t imagine what the actual act itself would feel like.
“You’re singing again.” His hands went on both sides of my jaw while he kissed me once again. “I guess more like humming,” he said against my lips.
“Maybe a little scared and nervous.” Geez, this singing thing was way out of control. I’d become a certifiable freak. If this went on much longer, I’d be hopeless.
“Me too.”
Somehow, his admission made me feel a whole lot better. For once, we were coming at something from the same perspective. “Are we really going to do it this time?” I pulled the shirt out of his jeans and over his head.
“Nothing’s going to stop me.”
“Nothing? No macho code or some other code you haven’t told me about?”
He yanked at my jeans as if on a mission. Clumsily, I hopped around until finally kicking them free.
“Damn, you feel good. Too good. I think we need to get this out of our system.”
“Absolutely.” I huffed out a breath and rolled my eyes. “You’re sure you’re not going to stop?” If he did, I’d have to tackle him to the ground and have my way with him.
He stepped back, placing his hands on the snap of his jeans. I gulped as any coherent speech evaporated. He flipped open the top snap on his pants, allowing the exposed V to reveal a little skin as well as a patch of dark hair swirling above his boxers.
“Nothing could stop me now.” Smirking, his gaze traveled the length of my body, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. “Shit, except for one thing. I don’t have condoms.”
“No worries. I picked up a box when I got your prescription.”
His left eyebrow rose, and a smile appeared. “I like a woman who plans ahead.”
He grasped my elbows tightly. The force of his move made me gravitate closer.
Purplish bruising still marred the corner of his left eye, but that night I found him in the alley seemed like a lifetime ago. So much had changed between us, and I couldn’t even remember where we’d started.
I went up on my toes to plant a kiss at that bruised spot. For some reason, I felt a need to pay homage to the beginning of the journey, the journey of discovery which had brought about as many questions as it had answered.
I slid down onto my heels, letting the few inches that separated us give me an opportunity to stare into his eyes, recalling the first time I’d seen them and how he had mesmerized me. Back then, I’d seen the vulnerability he fought so hard to hide. And how, even on that first day when he tried to fire me, I’d sensed this would happen.
He covered my lips with his. Demanding, he pulled my body close with arms that snaked about my torso. Evidence of how ready he was for this rubbed against me. I felt like I might implode right then and there.
A rumble of a sound came out of his chest. His tongue probed my mouth while his hands slinked through my hair. Plastered against him like a piece of paper caught at the end of a vacuum, my body bent to the curve he’d established.
His hands slid up and down my back, pausing for a few moments to rub my torso against his. Every nerve ending in my body seemed to be charged with need and want along with something more intangible.
Next, his hand slipped along my back to unclasp my bra with the finesse of a man who’d done it a few hundred times before. Gliding the straps down my arms, he cast it aside. In the next breath, his hands surrounded my breasts.
His breath feathered against the skin of my neck. “I need to slow down and savor this.” His thumb brushed at my nipple, causing it to distend immediately before he sucked it into his mouth.
“You’re right. Before you know it, the spark will be gone, and it’ll just be a whole lot of fizzle. No flames.” I kissed the spot below his ear and was rewarded with a tremor followed by a quick intake of breath.
“We owe it to ourselves to get this out of our system. It’s keeping us distracted from what we have to do.”
In sync, his fingers slid under my panties, scooting them over my butt while I mirrored the same movements for him. We stepped out of our underwear, leaving us both gloriously naked.
“Absolutely. The last thing we need is to be distracted.”
With those final words, we tumbled to the bed and lost each other in a sea of lips, hands, and mouths.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
His breath faltered. “What in the hell—” He couldn’t seem to get out the remainder of his thoughts.
“The best damn sex you’ve ever had.” When I kissed the spot where his neck met his shoulder, he closed his eyes and shuddered.
“Damn straight.”
“I guess that blows your theory about it being all spark and no fire, or whatever ridiculous concept your espousing.” I continued to explore his chest and neck with my kisses.
“Hell yeah.”
“Is that all you can do, swear?”
“I’m still trying to catch my breath.”
“Why? I did all the work.”
Grunting, he reversed our positions so that he was on top. “Remember
, I’ve been sick.” He kissed me, starting with my eyelids, my cheekbones, my ears, and then coming back to my mouth.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You have a rather delicate constitution, don’t you?” I giggled. “It’s amazing you made it through Special Forces training with your tendency toward accidents.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him as if he were the only man in the world I’d ever looked at, let alone slept with.
“Do I need to thank you again for saving my life?” When I nodded, he rubbed his lips against my neck. “You’re right. I would be dead without you. How can I ever repay you?”
“I’m sure you can think of a way or two.”
***
I lost track of time. Day had funneled into night. At some point he pulled on boxers, I wrapped up in a sheet, and we stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen. We defrosted a couple of steaks and grilled them on the fancy grill-top stove, only to return to bed shortly thereafter. Then a shower with pulsing body sprays that took erotic to a whole other level. Now the sun started peeking inside the window once again.
Delicious. Waking up naked in bed with a man trailing hot, wet kisses down the length of my spinal column felt downright sinful. And delicious. Especially when he followed that by making the most wicked suggestions in my ear as visuals from the night before were still fresh in my mind and revving up my hormones.
“Hey, wait a minute. I don’t think that last one’s physically possible.” I couldn’t keep the smile from my face as I stuffed my hands beneath the pillow under my head.
“Wanted to see if you were paying attention.” He crept up the length of my back. Brushing away my hair, he planted a kiss at my nape.
“You have quite an imagination. But I must say you’re awfully ambitious for this early in the morning.” I squirmed a bit on the bed as he was doing some more exploring with his hands and his mouth that was downright enticing.
“My body’s thinking one thing, but my brain is a totally different story.” Although physically he was pressed against me, I sensed his preoccupation.
Everything I’d been able to push away for the last twenty-four hours came tumbling back. Despite the risks, all the pleading I’d done, the lunacy of it, he was going to go all-in on this suicide mission. Alone. Short of drugging him, I couldn’t think of a way to stop him beyond the ones I’d already tried—sex, pleading, guilt.
My fingertips traced a path down his arm. “Is it going to spoil the mood completely if I tell you something?” Seeing the satisfied look on his face, I figured this might be a good opportunity to fess up about Patrick. Plus, a last-ditch effort to get him to see reason.
“That depends on what it is.” He drew back the cover and planted a kiss on my nipple.
“I’m being serious.” He’d distracted me so much last night that I hadn’t wanted to think about Patrick and what he’d found out.
He rolled his eyes and stared. “I’m ready for it. Let me have it. What’s going on?”
“Shane, we have to trust somebody. We cannot do this alone.” It was the only way I could think about leading in to what I had to say.
“Garrett will come through soon. He’s the only person I trust.”
“But you’re going to The Blues Stop today. Alone.” Even saying it out loud made me anxious. Stepping that close to the city with a couple thousand police officers drooling at the idea of serving his head up on a platter didn’t exactly put my fears to rest.
“I know what I’m doing.” He planted a kiss where my neck met my shoulder. “Do I wish Garrett were here? Yes. But he’s not. It won’t be the first time I’ve done things on my own.”
“Wait a minute. Haven’t you heard the expression there’s no ‘I’ in team?”
“I never said we were a team. It’s a dictatorship, pure and simple.” He smiled and scooted out of bed. Slipping on his clothes, he continued, “I know this stuff, Gabriella. Believe me.”
Tumbling out of bed, I yanked on a t-shirt and shorts. I needed to stop the man I was in love with from going on a suicide mission. How had I fallen hopelessly head over heels in love with Shane O’Neil? The last thing I needed in my life was to love a man so twisted up in his own issues that he didn’t know one end from the other.
“I know you do. But sometimes a little help is necessary. Like now. Besides, I’m getting kind of good at this sleuthing business.” I wanted to lessen the intensity of the moment, but based on his expression it wasn’t working.
“No. It’s too dangerous.” His voice echoed through the enormous bedroom. Translation: subject closed.
“Then please give Patrick a chance. See if there’s anything he can do to help us.”
He shook his head while his jaw locked tight. Caught up in the past, he couldn’t see the logic in suggestion.
That meant I had to take things into my own hands. While it would have been better to garner his cooperation, I had no choice. We needed an ally, and right now Patrick was it.
I hoped I was right about trusting him.
“Why weren’t you afraid of me?” He placed his hands on my shoulders and gazed into my eyes. “I did everything I could to keep you at a distance.”
Tangled up in guilty thoughts, his question caught me off guard. “That you did. I’m not sure. Maybe I’m kind of stubborn.”
“Kind of?” His eyebrow quirked, and a smile evidenced itself.
“Okay, a lot stubborn.”
“Most people run for cover when I challenge them. You stood your ground.”
“What is it you’re trying to say?”
“This thing between us is complicated, isn’t it?”
Now I knew what was bothering him—that same nagging feeling that had been rattling around my heart for a while now. While I’d just now put a label on it, he still struggled with the issue.
Was he ready to hear the words from me? Probably not. “That it is. Providing we’re not ready to kill each other, we have some great sex together.”
“There’s more, isn’t there?” His expression turned serious. “We’re pretty much opposites clear down the line. I’m as predictable as the sun, whereas you’re...ah...not.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I had a pretty good idea where he was headed, and it was scary territory for me. No doubt it absolutely terrified him.
“We both speak what’s on our mind.” While he tried to make sense of what hung between us, I had come to the conclusion that it defied logic.
He shook his head. “I’ve spent my life analyzing and hypothesizing based on probability and statistics. It’s what made me good in Special Forces. I could look at a situation, and based on past behavior, I would know the enemy’s next move. With you, that’s impossible.”
The fact that he equated me with the enemy spoke volumes about the depth of his fear. “And your point?” I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to like what he would say.
“With you, everything is always up for grabs. I’m thinking you’re going to zig and you zag instead. You’re so unpredictable, I never know what you’ll do next.”
“Isn’t that what makes me fun?” I wanted to tease him out of his sudden bout of melancholy.
“That among other things,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you put yourself in danger. You’ve already done way too much of that for me.”
“They’re after me too, remember? I saw who killed Mack.” I blew out a breath. “How are you going to stop me from following you?”
“I’ll take the keys to both cars with me.” He moved toward me, that intimidating look back in his eye.
“You suck.”
“That’s really profound. Have you reverted to the age of thirteen suddenly?”
I shifted from one foot to the other, knowing there wasn’t a chance in hell I would win this fight. But when I thought about him going alone, my fear leaped exponentially.
“You’re not always right, you know.” My mind raced a million miles a minute as I tried to think of
a way to stop him. I needed to get him to see reason.
“True, but my average is better than yours.”
“How would you know? You’ve never given me a chance.” I drew in a breath and forced out the words that had been rattling around in my head. “Shane, I’m in love with you.” I put a finger to his lips to stop his protest. “I know you’re uncomfortable with the idea, but that’s the way it is. Deal with it.” People in normal, healthy relationships discussed this sort of thing, at least that’s what I’d heard. If we expected to get through this, we needed to talk about it instead of letting it hang like a dark cloud of uncertainty between us. Besides, if we didn’t survive this, I wanted him to know how I felt.
“You don’t love me. It’s the great sex you love,” he responded. The discomfort between us hung at a steady seven on a ten-point scale.
While I didn’t want a confrontation, I’d expected it. “Don’t tell me what or how I feel.”
His fingertips stroked from my collarbone to wrist. “I know better than to try to tell you anything, Gabriella. You’re the one person who might be even more stubborn than me. But since all your other relationships lacked a strong physical appeal, you’re confused.”
I wanted to shake him to dislodge the fear clogging his logic, but I knew by the set of his jaw he didn’t want to hear any of what I had to say.
“Guys confuse love with sex. Believe me, women don’t.”
“Are we gender stereotyping now?” His left eyebrow arched as he went from avoidance to charm in the space of a heartbeat. I’d learned that when one approach didn’t work for him, he switched to a second. At least with me. “Ms. Santos, I do believe you might be a man basher.”
“Don’t try to avoid the issue. It’s staring you in the face, and you’re trying to skirt around it. All that huffing and puffing you do fooled me for a while, but now I’m so onto you.”
“It’s the Gabriella Santos version of psychobabble.”
“That’s your excuse whenever you sense a hint of vulnerability in yourself. Which specifically is your problem, tough guy. And I’m the person to call you on it.”