“I meant what I said in the car. I have every intention to stay true to my word. There’s no going back for me.” Jesus, it never occurred to me that maybe she isn’t on the same page. I chuckle to myself.
“What?”
“I just never realized that after everything I told you in the car, you never really said anything. I’m sitting here spouting off about what I want and what I intend to make happen and never once have you told me what you wanted. What do you want, sugar?”
“It’s crazy in all these years, I’m not sure I’ve been asked that question.” She smiles at me. I watch her eyes as she takes in the diner we’re at. The people are milling around, regulars sit at the counter, sipping their coffees. “For so long I’ve hated to think about the future. There wasn’t anything in it for me. Nothing to look forward to, and I know that’s my fault. I’ve lived the past four years in a lie. My life looked perfect on the outside. No one knew the hell it was being in it. That was me for so long.” Her words hit home, more than I think she knows. “I’m tired of being the perfect person on the outside only to be dying on the inside. That was me for these past few years, slowing dying on the inside and I can’t have that anymore. There’s too much at stake.” She casts her gaze downward. “I want happiness and I want it with the person who wants me for me.”
“I understand that. You should have that.” I swallow, not knowing where she’s going with this.
“Stability, that’s what I want. Happiness is something that I deserve, but more of all, I need passion.” The last words through me for a loop. “You told me that you’re going to be here for me, for the baby, but in what capacity? As my friend? Do you see us doing this as partners? Because I’ve spent the last four years, just existing for someone else and I can’t do that anymore. I don’t want that anymore.”
“I told you that I need your patience.”
“Yes, you did. But what am I being patient for? For a dream of something that I’m never going to have?”
“A dream?”
“Yes, Matthew, a dream. A dream of you and me being together. Do know how many nights I’ve laid awake wondering what it would be like to be loved by you? If you so wholeheartedly give yourself to those you care for, I can only imagine how fiercely you love.”
“To be honest Savannah, I’ve never been in love so I can’t tell you how I am when it comes to something I have no experience with.” Anxiety appears on her face. “Gimme that hand, sugar. I need to hold it.” She slides her hand along the top of the table, placing it in mine. I already feel more centered just by her touch. “I don’t like the look on your face, and I’m in no way trying to back out or make excuses for myself. I’m just trying to communicate.” She nods “I gotta say, this stuff is a lot easier in the darkness of our room instead of the light of the day. I’m big into never judging a book by its cover and I can tell you that you haven’t once judged me by my tattoos or the company I keep. That’s one of the things that I admire about you. But seriously.” I rub my thumb along her hand. “Look at me and then look at you, and I’m not saying the outside. But the way we live our lives. You’re wholesome–”
“I’m not that wholesome. I'm knocked up out of wedlock. You can’t put me on a pedestal because I’m only going to disappoint you when I fall.”
“Sugar, I’ll be the only one there to catch you when you do. And that’s what I’m saying. I want you so much, Savannah. More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, more than I thought I could ever have and that in its entirety scares the shit out of me. I know what I want and that’s you. One hundred percent in my life and in my bed.”
“I’m already in your bed.” She rebukes.
“That you are and believe me, I don’t want to just be lying beside you. I want to be inside you. Needing to know how soft and warm you’re going to feel when I finally sink my cock into your sweet cunt. That need is turning into a yearning that I’ve never experienced. I’m so thirsty for it that I feel like I won’t get enough of you when I finally do have you. But I need to know, that it’s me that you want.”
“I do.” Her answer is quick and confident, even though her face is flushed.
“Is it me that you want to share your life with? With all of my dark and light, the heaven and hell, the virtue and sin. It’s not just your life that I’m asking for, but the life of your daughter because once you give me the word, no one who is going to keep me away from what’s mine. I can guarantee it.”
“I know who you are. I know what you think you are and I’m not worried about it. For once in my life I’m secure in my decisions and I know that you would never let me down.”
She has more confidence in me than I have in myself. “I don’t want to let you down. That’s probably one of my biggest fears.”
“You won’t, Matthew. You need to have faith.”
“I think you’ll need to have enough faith for the both of us.”
She bites her bottom lip. Her eyes hold so much hope a smile spreads across her face. ‘So we’re doing this.” She points her free hand between the two of us.
“Yeah, sugar. We’re doing this. Taking it slow, making sure you’re where you need to be and me too, but we’re doing this.”
Without warning, she pulls on my hand as she rises from her chair. Only being mere inches from me, I can see a hint of mischief and whole lot of lust in her eyes. “Then kiss me,” she dares me as she slowly runs her tongue over the plumpness of her lip.
I wrap my hand around the back of her neck and pull her in. My tongue sweeps along the seam of her lips asking for entrance right before she opens and I feel the warmth of her breath along my mouth. My eyes flutter close and I know for the first time in my life that I’m where I’m meant to be. A slight moan comes from her and makes me tighten my grip, causing her to give me a small yelp. I pull back and watch her eyes dilate. Her lips are wet and plump, her face slightly flushed. “Sugar, that, wow that–”
“Is highly inappropriate.” I glance up to see a woman standing behind Savannah. Savannah’s face has grown pale. She drops to her seat and she seems to shrink in front of me. She’s no longer the vibrate woman who was just discussing our future together, she looks broken.
“Excuse me?” I growl out. “Who in the hell are you?”
"When are you going to stop this nonsense, Savannah and come home?" The lady ignores my question and the obvious fact that I’m sitting right here.
"She is home."
The woman sneers at me. "I beg to differ; her home is back in Texas, with the father of her child, in the home that he has built for them. Not at some biker clubhouse. A Redding heir is not to be born, let alone raised in such filth."
"Meredith." Savannah looks up, her eyes drifts beyond the woman, and then back. "Please leave and don't cause a scene."
"I'm not here to cause you any stress, dear. That is my grandchild you're carrying, I would never put it in harm’s way."
"I can't say the same for your son." I say. She looks at me, like I'm beneath her. I fucking hate people like that. They see me and they think I’m nothing but trouble, a lawbreaker, biker out-law.
"I do not know what you're implying. Tyson loves Savannah and his child."
I stand up, causing the table to push towards Savannah, making her jump. "You need to open your eyes, ma'am and see your son for what he truly is before he makes sure your name is nothing but scum. Your son doesn't know the meaning of love and I'll be damned if he ever comes near my girl or our baby. His time of hurting her is over. Never again will that piece of shit touch one hair on her head or lay eyes on that baby. I'll guaran-damn-tee it."
“Your baby?” She questions.
“Matthew, please.” Panic is written all over Savannah’s face.
"I think your girl needs to educate you on exactly who I am and what my last name means in this country. You heard me right, country. I'm thee Meredith Redding, and I'll squash the both of you and make sure you never lay eyes on that baby." She faces Savannah. "You b
etter pray my son takes you back when you've finally gotten your head out of your ass. He can have a number of women in this country and yet he still chooses you. You better hope when you come groveling back, it won't be too late."
"I'll do it." Savannah says emphatically.
Once Meredith left the diner, I knew I had to do something to light the fire of strength that she had gained since she’s been with me. She’s grown leap and bounds since coming to the club and I wasn’t about to let that hag of a woman destroy what Savannah has overcome. Her spirit wasn’t ever really broken, it was just her confidence and her worth that was weakened and I never wanted her to question herself again. So I told her what Cut has planned and I told her the involvement of Tyson and what he’s really been doing late at night while she is a prisoner in that house of his.
“I’m not sure it’s the best plan.”
The visit from Meredith has put a bad taste in my mouth. I couldn’t wait to get Savannah back home to the safety of the compound. I’ve never been more thankful that I have those guys to help protect what’s mine. I didn’t like the fact that she knew where we were. I wonder if she was watching us at the ultrasound appointment too. And if she was, was Tyson watching too? The fact that we haven’t heard a peep from him in weeks or even months is making me antsy. I don’t like not knowing what his next move is. The only thing we have is the fact that he might have taken Louie’s daughter and that’s still up for debate. I need to make sure I ask Doc how much he trusts his staff because I don’t need them getting money hungry and giving any information out on Savannah.
She agrees to what Cut had suggested. "I need to do it, Matthew. If there's a way to connect Tyson with these girls’ kidnappings, then I need to help. Doesn’t this mean that he can be put away? If you get the officials involved can't you get him arrested?" She is shocked at the information I revealed about Tyson. She berated herself for not knowing a man who she shared a bed with. I had to admit, it physically made me sick when she said that. I don’t like thinking of her in anyone’s bed but mine. She admitted that she knew there was more to him than what she was willing to see and she hates that she stuck her head in the sand for these years.
"I'm not comfortable with it. I don't like the idea of putting you in harm’s way.” She doesn’t respond.” That ultrasound today proved that there is more than just you to worry about.”
She looks out the window. When I glance over, I can see that she’s upset, by the tears running down her face. “I would never intentionally harm this baby.” She sniffles.
“I know that. That’s not what I meant. I’m just saying that you’re not invisible and I couldn’t bear the idea of you and her in any danger.”
"Nothing has changed, Matthew. I'm the same as I was this morning. Still me, still pregnant. I’m not breakable."
“Well maybe I am.” I confess.
She swings her head in my direction. I reach my hand to her cheek and wipe away what tears I can before my eyes go back to the road. “What does that mean?”
“It means that these men aren’t safe. This man, Louie Jr. is the son of the man who tortured and raped my sister before gutting her and leaving her hanging to die. He was involved with my father’s murder. I’m not sure I can trust this man with the club or my mother, let alone having you in the same room.”
“You don’t think I know that? I know what his father did. I know how scarred you are because of it. But I trust Cut and the club. I trust you when it comes to this baby and I would never, ever do anything to harm her or me.”
“I just need to make sure you’re safe, always.”
“I understand that. But please don’t treat me like I’m weak. I’m doing what Cut asks of me. I can stand there and be present if that’s what he needs to make sure this claim is accurate. He’s allowed me to stay when he thought I was going to put your mother at risk. I’ve heard the grumblings of the guys. I know he went against what many of them wanted because you wanted me to stay. I owe him this, Matthew. I owe him more, but right now, I can at least give him this.”
I know her mind is made up and I'm not about to tell her otherwise. I'm going to have to trust my brother and the club to make sure they keep what I hold dearest safe. I finally nod my agreement and she smiles back at me.
“Thank you.” I hope I don’t regret this.
“There aint no way that rat of a dog is coming into this clubhouse, turbo tits. I don’t give a shit who you think you are or how hard you make my cock. This here is a MC, not a fucking dog park.”
We hear Lick mouthing off to some unsuspecting woman when we pull back into the compound. As we get closer to the two, I realize who he’s talking to. “Jenni?”
She twists around and I’m caught off guard. I can’t believe who I’m seeing. “Darn right it’s me.”
She’s standing at the entrance of the clubhouse with Lick blocking the doorway. A duffel bag hanging from one arm and her Shih Tzu wiggling around under the other. It’s been four years since I’ve seen my once best friend. By the look of her, she hasn’t changed a bit. She’s still as short as I remember, with curves that I’ve always coveted. Her head is full of deep brown, wild curls. Seeing her now doesn’t just bring me joy, but also some sadness reminding me of a time in my life where I had to choose between the two most important people in my life, sadly, I chose wrong.
Playing the past back in my head, Jenni had always been right when it came to Tyson. But I was young and stupid, and I thought I was in love. We used to have this little saying, WWJD, What Would Jenni Do? Now, when I ask that question I know that Jenni would've left Tyson at the first sign there was something wrong with that man. “How?” I ask. Her dog Goober, I know, what a name, continues to wiggle from under her arm.
“Fine, little man, go.” She bends down and puts Goober on the ground and he scampers down the steps, practically rolling down them, until he comes to a stop at my feet. I squat to pick him up as he jumps against my legs. His little body wiggles in excitement, gaining small licks of his tongue along my face. “He always did like you more,” she says. I giggle as his tongue goes crazy.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, settling Goober down with a scratch behind his ear. That has always been his weakness, a good rub behind the ear.
“Well, it seems that I’m needed and since I needed to get the heck outta Texas, I figure the best place for me to be is here.” I continue to stare, not liking her answer and waiting for more. “Daddy is up my butt, Savannah.” Her comment causes Lick to mumble something under his breath. I can’t quiet hear it, but whatever it is, it causes her to turn her head to catch him in her heated gaze. “I didn’t quite catch that? Would you like to use your words like a big boy?”
“I’d like to use something else like a big boy, sweet tits. Just say the word.”
“Lick.” Sin steps up behind me. “Cut your shit for a moment, please.”
“He wants me to settle down.” She continues. “Do the Christian thing and marry whichever man he sees fit.”
“Fucking bitches.” Lick’s gravely tone causes me to flick my eyes to him.
“Without hearing what I think.” She doesn’t take notice of Lick’s remarks. “He’s acting like I’m on my last leg with my other foot already in my grave. I’m in my twenties, not my eighties for Christ sake. I simply cannot take that man anymore.” She huffs.
“So you’re here? How?”
Her eyes land on Sin who I watch give her a soft smile.
“Did you do this?” I ask him.
“Yes. I spoke to your folks and asked if they happened to keep in touch with her. From what you’ve told me, Jenni was someone who was an important person in your life. A person who should have never left it. I asked them to tell her what’s going on and see if she wanted to come for a visit.”
“I haven’t stopped worrying about you Savannah,” Jenni says. “Just because that man didn’t want you to have anything to do with me didn’t mean that I agreed to it. I’ve been keeping tabs on
you by talking to your parents. I’ve always checked in with them every couple of months. They never had anything new to report until this last time. It seems that there was a lot going on with you and no one ever really knew. Why, Savannah? Why didn’t you come to me?”
I don’t have the words to explain to her as to why I didn’t reach out. Shame is the word that’s on the forefront of my mind when I feel the first tear fall. “Oh, honey.” She takes Goober from me and then wraps her arms around me. “You don’t have to explain, not to me, not to anyone. The important thing is that you’re out of there. You’re safe, and you’re going to be just fine.”
My body shakes as I let the tears fall onto my best friend’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, it’s hormones.” I tell her as I step back.
She places her hand on the small bump of my stomach. “Yes, well, this little one is going to bring you tears of joy. I guarantee it. They’ll know never to cross Auntie Jenni and make you cry anything but happy tears.” I let my hand cover hers.
“Thank you.” I say.
“Well, enough sappiness. Let’s just spread that stuff out a bit. I can’t handle it all at once; it makes me a little shifty.” I laugh; Jenni has never been able to handle all the girlie emotional stuff. She’s always been the tough one, the strong one of our friendship, the strength to my weakness.
“Thank you.” I tell Sin.
“So,” she looks at Sin giving him the once over. “Are you the one I’m supposed to thank for giving me back my bestie?”
“You can thank me, if you’re handing out thank you blow jobs. I’ll gladly take a thank you.” Lick says and Jenni gasps.
“Don’t mind Lick.” Sin groans.
“Yes, mind me.” Lick winks at Jenni as he eyes her up and down. “You can mind me all night long with those luscious lips.” I roll my eyes.
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