by Sara Shepard
“What week did your school go on spring break?” Kelsey asked.
Emily told her, and Kelsey exclaimed that was when St. Agnes had been off, too. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice you,” Kelsey said after a moment. “Just think. We could have become friends so much sooner.” She touched Emily’s arm. “Or maybe more than friends.”
All the nerve endings in Emily’s arm tingled. When she breathed in, the air smelled dewy and fertile, like everything on the trail was sprouting. She gazed into Kelsey’s bright green eyes. Either she was an incredibly skilled liar, or she really knew nothing. She might have met Tabitha at The Cliffs, but there was no way she knew what had happened to her. She certainly didn’t know what Emily and the others had done.
Suddenly, Emily noticed a familiar fork in the path. “Can we make a detour for a sec? I want to see if something is still here.”
Kelsey nodded, and Emily trekked a few steps down the fork and came upon a small stone water fountain that stood on the side of a sharp, muddy slope. There were two handprints in the cement. One print was labeled Emily. The other said Ali.
Kelsey bent down and touched the cement palm. “Is this yours?”
“Uh huh.” Emily felt choked up looking at Ali’s slender hands, preserved in perpetuity. “Ali and I sneaked out here once. They’d just poured the cement for this fountain, and she suggested we leave our mark.”
She remembered that day like it was yesterday. It had been spring, a few months before Emily’s fateful kiss with Ali in Ali’s tree house. On their walk up the trail, Ali had listed off boys in their grade, asking Emily if she thought any of them were cute. “You need a boyfriend, Em,” Ali had chided. “Or are you saving yourself for someone special?”
Now, Kelsey shook her head solemnly. “I don’t know what that must be like to lose such a close friend.”
A bunch of kids passed on the main trail, laughing loudly. “I miss her, but now I’m not sure what I can miss,” Emily said in a small voice.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, take the bowling alley we went to the other day. Ali brought me and my three other friends there when we first started hanging out. She was all, ‘I want us to spend some alone time to bond.’ I used to think that was so cool, like she really wanted to get to know us, but now I wonder if it was just because she was Courtney, stepping into Ali’s life and pretending to be her. Maybe hanging out there had nothing to do with new friendships but just needing some time to get her bearings and not hang around the popular Rosewood Day kids her sister had once known so well.”
“That’s a lot to take in,” Kelsey said, eyes wide.
“I know.” Emily stared up at the canopy of trees. “I miss my old memories of Ali. The ones where I just thought she was an amazing new friend. Now I have to revise my entire history with her. Everything I thought was true was a lie.”
“It must mess with your mind.”
“It does. Especially because . . .” Emily trailed off, thinking about all the dreams she’d had about Real Ali this year. All the flashes of blond hair she swore she’d seen, all the haunting whiffs of vanilla soap she’d smelled. Her firm belief that she was still out there, watching her every move. “I try to think only about the good stuff with Ali and block out what really happened. It’s easier that way. So, like, in my head, My Ali is still this bubbly, intoxicating girl who had everyone wrapped around her finger.”
“I guess that’s one way to cope.”
Emily tilted her head and smiled at Kelsey. “You remind me of her a little.”
“I do?” Kelsey pressed a hand to her chest, looking a little sickened.
Emily touched Kelsey’s shoulder. “In a good way. Nothing fazed her. She was kind of . . . amazing.”
Kelsey pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. She eased a little bit closer to Emily until Emily could smell the faint tinge of bug spray on her skin. “Well, I think you’re pretty amazing, too.”
Lightning bolts zinged up and down Emily’s arms. She leaned closer. She expected Kelsey to pull away, but she remained where she was, inches from Emily’s face. Emily stared at Kelsey’s long, pale eyelashes. The freckles on her earlobes. The tiny speck of gold in her green eyes. Their lips touched. Emily’s heart banged hard.
After a beat, Kelsey pulled away, a shy smile on her face. “Wow.”
They leaned into each other, about to kiss again, when a group of boys pushed through the clearing for the water fountain. Kelsey turned away. The boys ogled Kelsey and Emily and grunted out hellos. Kelsey glanced at them, her fingers twitching. Her expression was nervous, a complete transformation from what it had been moments before.
“Do you mind waiting here for a sec?” Kelsey whispered in Emily’s ear after a moment. “I have to pee.”
“Sure,” Emily said.
As Kelsey trekked off into the bushes, Emily remained where she was, studying her phone so she wouldn’t have to make conversation with the boys. After they’d all had a drink of water, they disappeared through the bushes again and started back up the trail.
Footsteps sounded down the slope, followed by the screech of a hawk. Then, all went silent. The trees seemed to close in around her, making her claustrophobic. When the sun went behind a cloud, it was downright dark out. Emily stared into the trees, wondering what was taking Kelsey so long.
All of a sudden, Emily heard a whooshing sound of a body moving through the brush. A split second later, two strong hands shoved her between her shoulder blades. “Hey!” she screamed, staggering forward. Her feet went out from under her, slipping in the soft mud. Before she knew what was happening, she was tumbling down the sharp, muddy hill, her arms flailing to grab on to something to stop her fall. Branches and shrubs and stumps rose up before her, and she barreled into them, sharp brambles cutting her skin. She rolled onto her side, hitting her elbow hard. Sharp pain shot through her, and she screamed out. Finally, after digging her nails into the earth, she felt her body slow. She came to a stop at the bottom of the hill, caught in a tangle of briars and dead tree limbs, mud covering her jeans, her hands and her arms. She tasted blood in her mouth and felt something wet and sticky on her cheek.
Heart pounding, she turned and looked up. A figure stood at the top of the hill next to the water fountain, half in the shadows. Emily gasped, taking in the person’s blond hair and lithe frame. A haunting giggle snaked through the trees, filling Emily’s body with shivers. Ali?
“Emily!”
When Emily blinked, the blonde was gone. A moment later, Kelsey was standing in her place, her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God!” she screamed. She started down the hill, grabbing on to branches for balance, her shoes sliding in the mud. By the time she’d reached Emily, Emily had stood up and determined that no bones were broken. But she was still practically hyperventilating at what had just happened . . . and who she’d just seen.
Kelsey studied Emily at arm’s length. The corners of her mouth turned down anxiously, and beads of sweat stippled her forehead. She still had that same jittery look on her face, and her hands were trembling. “Are you okay? What happened?”
Emily’s chest heaved in and out. The scratches on her skin from the brambles burned every time she moved. “Someone . . . pushed me.”
Kelsey’s eyes widened. “One of those boys?”
Emily shook her head, still finding it hard to draw in a full breath. The giggle echoed in her ears. She could sense someone else’s presence, someone looming close, watching. On instinct, she reached for her phone in her pocket. Sure enough, there was a new text message. With trembling fingers, she pressed READ.
Sometimes we all need a little push, Emily. You and your friends know all about that, huh? —A
Chapter 24
LIFE IMITATES ART
On Thursday afternoon, Spencer was flipping through the newspaper when a splashy ad caught her eye. TONIGHT AT 8 P.M., A CNN SPECIAL: ARE YOUR CHILDREN SAFE ON SPRING BREAK? THREE CASES OF FUN SPRING HOLIDAYS GONE TERRIBLY WRONG.
> There was a picture of Tabitha in the corner. Spencer immediately turned the paper over, and then, because that wasn’t quite good enough, she tore it into tiny pieces and threw it in the trash. Even that didn’t seem safe. She stared at the pieces, wondering if she should burn them.
Something flickered out of the corner of her eye, and she shot up and glanced out the window. A shape moved behind the trees. It looked like someone with blond hair.
Murderer.
Spencer spun around, clutching the sides of her head. The kitchen was empty. Beatrice and Rufus dozed on the floor, their paws twitching. If someone were here, they’d be barking their heads off, right? What the hell was happening to her?
Her cell phone let out a loud dog-barking sound, and Spencer jumped. She picked it up from the side table and saw that Emily had sent a text. I’m really freaked. A just shoved me down a hill at the Stockbridge trail.
Spencer glanced toward the den, thinking again of the flashes and voice she’d just heard. Amelia and the orchestra nerds weren’t here right now, but they were scheduled to come over later this evening. Kelsey wasn’t there, was she? she wrote back.
There was a long pause. Finally, Emily’s reply popped up on the screen: No.
And you’re not hanging out with her anymore, right? Spencer typed.
Emily replied again with a one-word No.
Good, Spencer responded.
“So this was where that Alison stuff went down, huh?”
It was forty minutes later, and Spencer and Beau were standing in the Hastingses’ backyard, preparing for another Macbeth coaching session. Spencer was sure she’d be more than ready after today. She’d already made arrangements with the school’s videographer to pay special attention to her in her scenes in the play performance on Saturday night. She’d even composed a draft email to the admissions committee talking about the play; all she needed now was to attach a movie file of her brilliantly executed scenes.
Beau gazed around at the twisted, blackened, ruined tree branches from the fire Real Ali had set here over a year ago. To the left was the property’s original barn, which had once housed a lovingly restored guest suite . . . until Real Ali burned that down, too.
“Yeah,” Spencer said softly. “I rarely come out here anymore. It’s too creepy.”
“I hear you. This place feels haunted.” Beau toed the dirty slate path that used to lead to the barn. It was on this very path that she and Their Ali fought almost five years ago on the last night of seventh grade. The argument had been over Ian Thomas, whom they’d both had a crush on. Spencer had shoved Ali, who’d fallen, then quickly leapt back up and run down the path. For a long time, Spencer had assumed Ali had gone to meet Ian, her secret boyfriend, and Ian had killed her. But it was her twin sister who had intercepted her and murdered her.
“Anyway.” Beau turned around and faced Spencer. “Are you ready to get into character?”
Spencer shrugged. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Beau smiled. “You did awesome yesterday, but there’s another exercise I think we should try. You know how I said I connected being bullied to my role as Macbeth? It’s your turn to do that, too. Try to really become her. Imagine getting rid of the person standing in the way of your success. Maybe you didn’t mean to do it, but you carried it out anyway.”
Spencer stared at him. That sounded like what had happened with Tabitha . . . and Kelsey, too. “I guess I could try,” she said quietly.
“Go there,” Beau instructed. “Repeat the lines Lady Macbeth says when she’s overcome with guilt.”
“Out, damned spot,” Spencer chanted.
“Good. Now, close your eyes and say them again.”
“Out, damned spot,” Spencer repeated, shutting her eyes. “Out, damned spot.” She thought of Lady Macbeth wandering in the night, trying to clean her bloody hands of the shame she could never wash away. “Out, damned spot!” She thought of the guilt she felt for Tabitha. She opened her eyes and stared at her palms, imagining they were covered with blood—Tabitha’s blood, fresh from her fall from the roof.
She forced herself to relive that awful night in Jamaica. How Tabitha had lashed out at Hanna. How she’d fought with Aria. How Aria had shoved her over the edge. Searching for Tabitha’s body on the shore and not finding a trace. Feeling terrified to go out to the ocean each and every morning, certain the girl’s body would have washed ashore in the night. Seeing that horrible newscast about Tabitha on television a few weeks ago.
But as she said the line a few more times, a different memory overtook her thoughts. She saw herself in that hot, poorly lit police station on Penn’s campus. It was about a half hour after she’d spoken to Hanna and outlined her plan. Spencer didn’t know if Hanna had gone through with it, but she had heard a lot of scuffling and ringing phones outside. Finally, the cop burst back in and looked at her. “You’re free to go,” he said gruffly, holding the door open for her.
“I-I am?” Spencer had sputtered.
He handed her back her iPhone. “Take my advice, Miss Hastings. Finish your summer program and go home to the suburbs. Be a good girl. You don’t want to get mixed up with pills.”
“What about Kelsey?” Spencer had blurted as she walked into the hall.
The corners of the cop’s mouth curled into an ugly smile. At that very moment, a second holding room door opened. Two cops walked Kelsey down the hall. She screamed and flailed. “What are you talking about?” she said. “What did I do?”
“You know what you did,” the cops growled at her.
Kelsey met Spencer’s eyes for a moment and gave her a pleading look. What are they talking about? But there was something else in her expression, too, something Spencer hadn’t wanted to think about until now.
It was fury. Like she knew exactly what Spencer had done.
“Out, damned spot,” Spencer repeated once more now, staring down at her hands, just as Lady Macbeth did in the play. Suddenly, her palms were filled with small, white, round pills. Were those . . . Easy As? Shrieking, she flung them into the air. Where had they come from?
She looked for Beau, but Beau was gone. The yard was empty. “Beau?” she cried. No answer. It was dark out now. How much time had passed?
The trees whispered in the wind. An owl hooted in the distance, and the faintest smell of smoke from last year’s fire tickled Spencer’s nostrils. She looked down at her palms again; somehow, the Easy A pills had returned. “Get off!” She tried to jettison them away, but they remained glued to her skin. “Get off!” she shrieked, scratching at her palms with her fingernails until red, jagged lines appeared on her skin. “I can’t be seen with these!” she screamed. “They can’t catch me!”
But the pills wouldn’t budge from her palms. Whirling around and breathing hard, Spencer staggered toward the small pond behind the barn. “Get off, get off, get off!” she shrieked, plunging her hands into the stagnant, half-frozen water. She barely felt the cold. She swished her hands around for a moment and then drew them back. The pills were still there. “No!” she screamed, running her wet palms through her hair. Frigid, fetid water streamed down her face and dripped into her ears and mouth.
Another twig snapped. Spencer shot to her feet, hands and hair dripping. “Who’s there?” she cried out, her heart pounding hard. Was it the cops? Were they here for her? Would they see the Easy As on her palm and take her away?
Someone snickered behind a bush. Shh, another voice said. Two figures stepped out from the trees. One was Kelsey. The other was Tabitha. They stood hand in hand, staring at Spencer.
“Hey, Spence,” Kelsey teased, staring at Spencer’s dripping palms. “Feeling guilty about something, murderer?”
“You can’t run from us,” Tabitha whispered. “We know what you did.”
She smiled mysteriously and advanced down the slope. Spencer wheeled back, her ankle catching on a thick, twisted root. Within seconds, her butt hit the creek bank and her head and right shoulder plunged into the icy water. Her fa
ce instantly went numb. When she opened her eyes, Kelsey and Tabitha stood over her, their arms outstretched. Ready to drown her. Ready to exact their revenge.
“I’m sorry!” Spencer sputtered, flailing in the freezing water.
“Not sorry enough,” Kelsey growled, plunging her chest down.
“You weren’t sorry when you did it,” Tabitha screamed, holding her neck.
“I’m sorry now!” Spencer struggled to break free of the girls, but they held her tight. “Please! Don’t!”
“Spencer?”
Someone lifted her out of the creek. Ice slid down her back. Cold air slapped her cheeks. When she opened her eyes again, Kelsey and Tabitha were gone. Instead she saw Beau standing before her, wrapping his jacket around her shoulders. “It’s okay,” he cooed. “It’s okay.”
Spencer felt Beau leading her out of the woods. After a moment, she opened her eyes and looked around, half crying, half hyperventilating. She was in her backyard again. When she looked at her palms, they were empty. But while the visions she’d had of Kelsey and Tabitha had vanished, the real Kelsey stood a few feet away on the lawn with Amelia and some of the other orchestra girls, here for their evening practice. Her eyes were wide and there was a satisfied smirk on her face.
“What’s wrong with her?” Amelia said in a disgusted voice.
“She’s fine,” Beau answered, walking Spencer toward the house. “We were doing a drama exercise.”
“W-what happened?” Spencer whispered dazedly as they climbed the patio stairs.
Beau grinned. “You were amazing. You totally went for it. You immersed yourself in the Method—literally. Most actors have to study for years to make that much of an emotional connection. You’re going to rock the part tomorrow.”
As he helped her through the sliding door, Spencer tried to smile as if she’d known what she’d been doing all along, but her insides felt weak and decimated, like a town ravaged by a tornado. And when she turned around, the real Kelsey was still watching her. That smirk was still there, as if she knew the root of Spencer’s bizarre behavior.