I had to kiss her. I was dying to kiss her. I was going to kiss her.
My feet were walking towards her, my eyes locking on hers as I looked at her with lust, desire… and need. “Sienna…” I began, my eyes zoning in on her lips.
“Yes.” She was not asking. She was giving me permission. Her tongue swept out, entrancing me as she licked her full lips.
I began to move in closer, my eyes back on hers as I reached up to cup her cheek. “I’m going to ki—”
A loud knock at the door came, stopping me from telling her that I was going to kiss her. We were both startled, and my heart was racing as if I had been caught doing something wrong. Adrenaline rushed through me as I stood, glued to the ground as the knocking continued.
“Are you expecting someone?” she asked, her voice as shaky as I knew mine would be if I spoke.
I shook my head. No, I was expecting no one. Then one name came to mind. Shit. The sudden phone calls… Fuck, no. This would screw up everything completely. I looked at Sienna, and my heart thudded again. She would be… well, obviously hurt that I had lied to her.
Making my way over, I was hesitant to answer the door and see her standing opposite me.
I really hoped it wasn’t her.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“Mum, what are you doing here?” I asked, secretly relieved but also fucking pissed off. Way to ruin the mood.
No doubt about it. I have never been so relieved to see this woman in my entire life until the pounding of my heart began to die down and I realised she would soon see Sienna in the kitchen, cooking like we were a shacked-up domestic couple.
“I haven’t heard from you for a few days, just coming to check up—” She paused, trying to peer in the door as I currently blocked her sight. “Jackson, do you have company?”
“No.” I lied, smiling through gritted teeth. “Leave, Mum.”
Her eyes widened, almost beaming. “A girl?”
“Mum. Please, don’t.” This was probably the first time I have ever begged. “Go home.”
Too late. She pushed her way past me. To be fair, I didn’t put up much of a fight.
Sienna was flipping the pancakes, probably facing away from me to avoid what almost happened moments ago. To think, we would have been kissing!
We should have been kissing.
Mum looked back towards me, confusion written all over her face as she mouthed, Who is that? I glared, telling her not to even think about it.
She did it. Ignoring me, she kept walking further into the kitchen. “Hi, I’m Jackson’s mother.”
Startled, Sienna spun around on her heels, almost dropping the spatula in her hand. “Oh, hello. I’m Sienna, Jax’s neighbour.” She smiled back. “I’m making him pancakes. Your son can’t cook.”
“Jax?” Mum grinned, and I knew she liked her already. “Hmm, I see those cookbooks haven’t been used yet then.”
“Been busy, Mum.” I had no time to read six hundred pages on easy dinners.
“Not that busy,” she mumbled under her breath, referring to Sienna. “Oh my, two dogs… You brought another, Jackson?”
“Oh no, Sammie is mine. She and Colt have playdates.”
Sienna walked over. Her eyes went to mine, and I smiled back to her. “You’re leaving?” I asked, wishing she wouldn’t on account of my mother. It may have been best, to avoid any more interrogation.
“I’ll be back. Just checking my pager and going out to the shop. You need maple syrup.” She smiled, taking the black hair tie from her wrist and starting to tie her hair up.
“And ice cream and sprinkles. Also topping?” I grinned, trying not to stare at the strip of skin showing as her arms stretched upwards, raising the shirt with her.
Her cheeks flushed, and she nodded. “Don’t eat the pancakes until I’m back.”
“I’ll try not to touch them. Are you leaving Sammie here?” I asked, glancing outside where both dogs lay in the sun. “May as well. They’re happy.”
“Sure. I won’t be long.” She looked over at my mother. I had almost forgotten she was standing there watching us and listening in on our conversation. “It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs… Jackson’s mum. That red velvet was delicious.” She gave my mother a half hug, a move that surprised us both. I didn’t expect that. Then again, I didn’t know what to expect with Sienna. Looking back towards me, she spoke, “Pizza and Xbox, you’re still up for that? We can take the dogs for a walk after. Grab them?”
I nodded. It was a plan. “You want some cash?” I went to grab my wallet on the table.
She waved me off, shaking her head. “Nah, you get them next time. Be back in around twenty.”
The door closed with a click, and I waited for it. The hysteria that I knew was soon coming.
“Red velvet? You mean… What is going on here? I feel so out of the loop. It was.. I’m a little speechless.” She took a seat on the couch, almost looking dazed. “Sienna, she seems lovely.”
“She’s nice.” I shrugged, trying not to get her hopes up about anything. “Did you want anything in particular?”
She eyed me with caution. “Are you two dating?”
“No. We’ve barely known each other a month. Just friends.”
“But she wants more,” she stated. “That girl is in love with you.”
I scoffed. She thought every girl was in love with me. “Mum, don’t be ridiculous. We’re just friends.”
“You keep saying that, my dear boy, but I see more. I see a girl who’s making you food and a boy who’s letting her. Have you slept together yet?”
Fuck. This was not the time nor place for a conversation like this. “I’m not discussing my sex life with you. Don’t even ask.”
“So no.” She chuckled, taking satisfaction in my discomfort. “Oh, Jackson, you know I love you, and I want you to be happy. But don’t lead this poor girl on. You’ll hurt her.”
“I would never hurt her.” I couldn’t do that. Not to her.
“Have you spoken to Jasmine?” I didn’t want to talk about this, but I would take anything to change the topic from Sienna and I having sex.
“No. She’s been calling this past couple of days, though…” I trailed off, rubbing the base of my neck, a nervous habit I had inherited from my father.
“Why won’t you answer her back?” She pressed. She really was nosy at the best of times.
“I have nothing to say to her.”
“Do you still care for her?” Did I? I wasn’t sure I did anymore.
“No.” I didn’t. Really, I didn’t.
“I like Sienna. I think you should ask her out. Pizza and Xbox… That girl deserves to be shown off to the world. Take her out for dinner, and wear something nice. At least do your hair and shave.”
My patience was running out. “Mum...”
She just smiled. “What does she do for a living?”
“She is a paramedic.”
“Really? Hmm, your sister would love her. Your dad also. Bring her around sometime.”
“Don’t go telling the family about her, Ma. You’re getting your hopes up, and it won’t do you any good to worry about this. Nothing is happening.” The last thing we all needed was her getting these crazy ideas in her mind. “I mean it.”
“Yet.”
I had to laugh. She was a force to be reckoned with alright. “Mum, please leave.”
She stood up and reached for her purse. “I hope you invite her out for dinner, Jackson. The way you two were a moment ago… I’ve never seen you look at a woman that way.”
“You read too many Mills & Boon, Mum.” I sighed. “Sienna and I are only friends. I’m not ready for another relationship. It’s too soon.”
Her smile grew sad, the worry in her eyes showing her age. “I hate that woman for hurting you… Just don’t push your feelings aside for this girl. I can tell you like her.”
“How can you possibly tell that?” Even I couldn’t tell. She has barely spoken to Sienna for longer than twenty seconds. The
re was no way she could know anything.
“You shared your cake with her, and since I can remember, you’ve not once shared a red velvet with anyone.”
Like that was a tell-tale sign. It was just cake.
Then again, not even Jasmine nor anyone else would be offered cake from me.
Mum left. I did half push her out the door. She needed to go before Sienna came back and screwed things up completely for me. So I sat there and waited, asking myself the same question over and over. Did I want to date her? Could I date her and give her my complete feelings without Jasmine coming into my mind? It wasn’t an easy question.
I had been with Jasmine for so long, I had almost asked her to marry me. I didn’t, but I bought the ring.
Feelings don’t just go away in the blink of an eye no matter how badly someone has hurt you.
If things were to progress, I would need to be honest and up front. I should tell Sienna about Jasmine. It had to be done. Mum’s right, Sienna shouldn’t be hurt. She didn’t deserve to feel hurt or used.
When Jasmine called, or if she called again... I would tell her to leave me alone. I didn’t want to be with her. I couldn’t be with a woman who had such little respect for me. There would be no forgiveness. Eventually maybe, but there was no forgetting it. There was no way I could forget what she had done to me. She crushed me with her actions and words. That woman didn’t give a shit about anyone but herself.
The more I kept thinking about it, the more I realised I didn’t want to be with Jasmine. Sienna was the one on my mind. It had nothing to do with a quick fuck or someone to screw. I was genuinely enjoying the time I spent with her. I wanted to spend all my free time with that girl across the hall.
We had not known each other for long, but then again, I kept going back to the girl in the shower and how alike they were… those eyes. It scared the shit out of me that this was the big sign people had before they met the one. Not that I was calling Sienna the one. I was simply stating how I felt.
There was only one way to find out if this was just all in my mind or something more.
Something about her captivated me, and if my father’s heart attack had taught me anything, it was that life is too short and you live in the moment.
I was damn well going to start living and stop thinking about every decision I made. I always worried what others thought. That was my one fault, caring more about appearances and how I was perceived.
I would be the guy who moved on after almost three months of a broken relationship, and why the hell not? My ex moved on during our relationship.
Fuck it. I was moving on without looking back.
Sienna knocked on the door, calling out. “Open up. Arms are full!”
I pushed myself up from the couch and went to let her in. “Sorry, wrong door.” I teased.
“Ha. Ha. Open up. It’s very heavy!”
Her arms were very full indeed. I took the bags from her, and she gave her fingers a stretch. “They were heavy. I will learn next time to never shop on an empty stomach.”
Unpacking the bags, I pulled out things from chocolate bars to cans of dog food. “You sure got an odd variety of food.” I grabbed the ice-cream and handed it over to her as she plated up our pancakes. “Mum asked about you,” I said casually.
“What did she ask?” She began drizzling the maple syrup on top. “You look like her, just saying.”
I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Thanks, but I’m more like my dad. Mum asked if you were my girlfriend. She said we look quite at home together.”
I watched her, knowing too well that her cheeks would soon be flaming up and her cute stuttering would start. “Oh… really?”
I nodded. “She likes you.”
“Well, your mum is nice. A little intense, but nice.”
“Intense? That was mild compared to her usual self.” I grabbed the plates, taking them to the small round table. “I was thinking she’s right.”
She sat down, looking puzzled. “Right?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t get it. What do you mean, right? About what?” she asked, stabbing her fork into the pancake gently.
I just sat back in my seat, keeping my eyes steady on her as she began to eat. My tongue swiped out, licking my dry lips. “About you.”
“What about me?” She still didn’t get it.
I leant forwards, my elbows on the table now. “About you being my girlfriend.”
“Jax, I think you’re high. I’m not your girlfriend, and you pointed that out when you said you wouldn’t fuck me.” She looked annoyed as she waved her fork around, air quoting the word fuck before she went back to eating.
The laugh came out. She had a way with words. “Sienna... look at me and stop eating for a moment.”
Her cheeks were full until she swallowed her food, eyes unknowingly beautiful and big. “What is it?”
“Tomorrow night, we’re going on a date.”
“Aren’t you meant to ask me for my permission before you announce anything? You just assumed I’d yes,” she says, giving me a foolish stare. “I might not want to go on a date with you.”
“I don’t believe that,” I told her, my eyes not leaving hers. “Tell me that you don’t like me.”
“I don’t like you,” she said with sarcasm. “Jax, stop messing around. I don’t like it.”
“Why do you automatically think I’m messing around?” She always went to the negative, like I was going to start laughing and yell out psych. “I like you, Sienna.”
“But you said… earlier…”
“Fuck what I said earlier.” I snapped, harsher than I wanted. I was done playing.
She opened her mouth to say something but instead shook her head. “Don’t play games with me. I don’t do games. If you’re just after sex then—”
“I want that and more. No games, no one nights. I don’t do that. I want you.” I wanted more than that. “I can’t get you out of my mind. I know you feel the same.”
She whispered back but still looked unsure. “I do like you.”
“Good. It’s settled then. I’ll pick you up tomorrow around six and take you out to dinner, on a date.” She went to speak again, but I just grinned. “Eat your pancakes, Sienna. We’ve got beer and pizza to get through later tonight.”
I felt her foot rub against mine underneath the table. I trapped it between my legs as she reached over and took a blob of my whipped cream. “After I kick your ass on the Xbox, Mr!”
This girl was a keeper.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Where would you like to go tomorrow?” I asked her.
“Jax, the point of a date is for the person asking to plan it out and surprise the other.” She didn’t look up at me. “Surprise me.”
She had a valid point. “Yes, but I thought maybe you’d want to choose.”
“No. I want you to decide. You plan and take the lead. That’s what I like in a man.”
She was nothing like Jasmine. “What else do you like in a man?” I was very curious about that.
Her cheeks turned pink, the shy girl coming back out. “I don’t know.”
“Let me guess, tall with dark hair and a few billion dollars, wears a suit, and fucks like a robot that never stops? Was that close?” All women wanted the same, and after knowing she reads those porn stories, that was my first guess. Some loaded, rich, powerful man, who looks like a chiselled god.
Sienna broke out into a loud laugh, snorting. “Where the hell did that come from?”
“Am I wrong?”
“Very. I prefer lighter coloured hair.”
My brows raised. “Well, sorry to disappoint, darling.”
“Oh, you don’t disappoint at all, Jax.” She smiled, her red hair framing her face as I squeezed her toes that were currently in my lap. Somehow, we had ended up on the couch, and I had been giving her a foot rub. Yeah, go figure… I think she was enjoying it, so I kept doing it. “I like a man who’s kind and caring.”
I gave
her a confused look. Kind and caring? “That’s all?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t believe that. A big dick is usually on the top of all women’s lists.” I pointed out, referencing my sister’s own words about what women wanted from a man. Big dicks, and a fat wallet.
Her eyes grew, stifling a giggle. “I don’t want some guy from the books I read. Yeah, the fantasy of it is amazing, but in real life, I want a man to make me smile. I don’t care if he’s the hottest guy alive or not. If he treats me well, then that’s all I care about. Looks are a bonus, and you…”
“What about me?” I asked, my voice failed me with a whisper. I was eager to know.
Ours gazes locked, and at that moment, everything felt comfortable. I was oddly happy. “You… you’re wonderful. Handsome, and just wonderful.”
Wonderful? Well, that was a first. I grinned. “I’ll take it. You’re wonderful too… and very beautiful.”
She groaned, laughing. “You don’t need to butter me up. I already agreed to your date.”
“I’m just stating a fact, Sienna.” She had no clue. She was beautiful, indeed.
I sat back further into the couch and grinned at her as she reached for her third slice of pizza, watching as she slowly brought it to her lips, licking them slowly. My cock stirred which I was sure she could feel with her feet. I shifted slightly, trying to contain myself and not let her notice.
She began to laugh, making her toes wiggle and press into my groin. “Pervert. Stop watching me eat. It’s creepy.”
She caught me there. “It’s just too hard to take my eyes off of you.” The struggle was real. She was mesmerizing. Everything she did, I could watch for hours.
“You’re really laying on the pick-up lines thick.” She pointed out. “Please, I want to eat, and you’re making me nervous.”
Dropping her toes, I held my hands up in defeat. “Sorry, I’ll stop.” I didn’t want to.
The night went just like that until the first of many yawns came. Not wanting to embarrass herself by falling asleep on the couch again, Sienna waved goodnight and was on her way. Well… you could probably guess what I had done after she left. Like I mentioned before, I’m a guy and we have urges. With her foot so close to my dick most of the night, I needed to jack off.
His Rebound Love Page 10