“We are.” I promised her. Her smile faltered. I knew something was on her mind. She had been quiet ever since Jasmine turned up to her apartment. “Sienna, what’s wrong?”
“Jasmine said she was going to come to your work if you didn’t call her back.”
Jesus Christ. Her name was beginning to give me an instant migraine every time I heard it. “Then let her, and I’ll have her arrested for being a public nuisance.”
I could see it in her eyes that something was off. “Okay.” She was upset.
Fuck me. I had just given her my key, and yet she still wasn’t happy. There was more going on than she would let me know. I had been around women long enough to know that when they said okay—that quiet and without eye contact—they weren’t happy. Walking back towards her, I pulled her into my arms and against my chest. I had been pissed when she asked me that last night. Sure, Jasmine had been a part of my life, but she was in the past, and Sienna was my future. I looked forward to every new thing shared with her.
“I love you,” I repeated when I did not hear her reply. “I need to go, and you should too. My sister is waiting for you.”
She gave me a little pout, reluctantly letting go. “I love you more.”
Not possible, baby. I kissed her goodbye and left for the gym.
My workout was hard and exhausting. I needed it. I needed to pound the treadmill with my feet, and lay my fists into the boxing speed ball. Sex took away some of the anger, the frustration, but to clear my head, the gym was the one place for that.
I had warned my sister to stop trying to get Sienna to call in a favour and to not mention it today during coffee. They had only just met, and as per usual, she was just thinking about her own needs. I ran into Paul, my sister’s husband, just as I was making my way back to the apartment. He looked worn out, absolutely beat.
“Didn’t think you knew how to work out aside from lifting a drink to your mouth.”
I smirked back. “Fuck off, Jackson.”
We passed by a pub, and he pulled me inside. I could see he wanted to talk. Usually, after a drink or two, he could not shut up.
“So, a baby…” I grinned. “that’s got to be exciting.”
“Yeah.” He smiled. It did not match his eyes. Then he sighed. “I love your sister. You know that, right?”
“What’s going on?”
“Na, just thinking about when the baby is here. It won’t be just the two of us anymore.”
“That’s generally what happens when you get someone pregnant. It is planned, right?” It was a statement because I knew him and I knew my sister. She liked to be the boss in everything. Growing up, it was her way or no one’s way.
Shaking his head no, he sat back, pulling out his phone. “I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Not for another couple years at least, and she’s talking about another one right after. I feel like my head’s about to explode.” He continued talking about everything he needed to get off his chest, and I sat quietly listening to him.
I had downed three beers to his one. I partly understood where he was coming from. I remember my slight panic when we ran the risk of Sienna being pregnant that time I had come inside her. It would have thrown our lives around, but I was sure we would manage through it.
I was also sure that Paul could handle it. “Look, I get it. You’re shitting yourself, but there’s no need. You’re married, you love each other, and a baby is great...” And then I spoke more bluntly. “Look, you need to man up and grow a pair. Tell my sister to back off and shut up occasionally.”
He grinned, cocking his brow. “How do you think that’d go down?”
“Like a raging bull.” I laughed and got us another beer each.
Checking my watch, I knew Sienna should be back any moment. I sprawled out on the couch, freshly showered, with the intention of taking her out to dinner. Instead, I found myself in sweats, on the couch with a six-pack of beer and a couple of pizzas. A night in, movie, and my girl were more tempting than throwing on a suit and eating with other people.
Two knocks on the door distracted me from Assassin’s Creed. I paused the game. “I gave you a key…” I reminded. I wish she would use it. No answer; Instead there was another knock on the door. Was she really that shy about using the key I had cut for her? “Sienna, the purpose of a key is for you to use it.” I smiled, opening the door. My smile faded. “What are you doing here?”
It should have been Sienna. Instead, it was the last person I wanted to see. “Please. I just need ten minutes.”
“You have one. Now speak, then get the fuck out of my sight.” No. This is a bad idea. “You know what? Just leave now.” I turned around, closing the door. Her hand stopped the door and pushed it open. “Get out.” I threatened again.
She walked into the apartment, closing the door from behind with a thud. “That’s it! You won’t even talk to me anymore?” she cried out, her blue eyes rolling dramatically.
Running a hand through my wet hair, I sighed, shaking my head. “No, I don’t want to talk to you. You said enough when you told me you’d fucked another man.”
“I didn’t!” she whispered. My eyes snapped to hers. I frowned as she repeated louder, “I didn’t sleep with anyone... I lied.”
“I don’t believe you,” I told her, rage starting to wash over me. Why the fuck would she lie about this now? “You came home and admitted it.”
Water mixed with mascara ran down her cheeks as she nodded. “I know what I told you, but I swear, I never cheated on you. I’ve never kissed anyone since you… I still haven’t.”
“Don’t,” I told her. I had heard enough. I grabbed a cold beer from the fridge, unscrewing the cap and tossing it into the sink. “I don’t care anymore. Just go.”
“Jackson...” She stood still in the living room. “You need to know why.”
“Why?” I scoffed, almost laughing. “You told me you fucked someone else, and now I’m meant to believe you when you say it isn’t true? How can I trust anything you say to me again?”
Her eyes darted to mine, searching for a way in, but there wasn’t one. I didn’t care anymore. “I was scared...”
“Bullshit.” I slammed the bottle down against the counter, liquid splashing out. “What is it that you want from me! I’ve moved on, and you think because I’m finally happy, you can come back, and I’ll take you back?” I didn’t want her back. “What do you want from me!”
“You!” she yelled back, coming at me. I moved, grabbing her by the forearms and holding her away. I had every intention of pushing her to the door, but I froze. Her eyes were full, and her chest was rising and falling. “I want you back. I messed up.”
She was more than messed up. “I’m with Sienna. I love her.”
“Do you really? Because I don’t believe you. You miss me… don’t you?”
I did not answer her. She was not going to manipulate my words and use them against me later. “Jasmine, I swear I’ll throw you out on your ass if you don’t leave now,” I said, my voice a soft whisper, barely auditable. I forced my eyes shut, willing myself not to let her affect me. “Why... why lie?”
“I was scared, terrified of falling in love with you even more than I already am. I was afraid of how fast we were moving. I knew you wanted marriage and babies, and that scared me. I went out with Lisa and confessed to her how scared I was, and she said to tell you I cheated…”
“You listened to her. You destroyed our relationship the worst way possible. Why not just tell me you were scared?” Did she have no brains at all? “You destroyed me.”
“I’m sorry. I love you, Jackson… Please, give us another chance. I’ve changed... We can do this. We can be what we used to.” Her words were caressing my ears as she leant in, her face inches from mine. I stared at her, dumbfounded. Was she really this naive, believing she could confess and I would listen? That I would forgive her with open arms and then miraculously take her back?
I stepped aside, picking up the beer and walking to the
couch. I sat down, unable to look at her any longer. “You need to leave. Stay away from Sienna. I mean it.”
“Is she the girl? Was it her who you would touch yourself over?”
“Yes.” I had done it once, but I wanted her to believe it was often.
“I forgive you…”
I kept my eyes ahead on the TV. I was not paying attention to what was on. I could not care anymore. She did not need to forgive me as I was not seeking any from her. “Go anywhere near Sienna again, and watch what happens to you.”
“You always liked it a little rough. Does she like that too? Being thrown around and—”
“Stop it.” I squeezed my eyes shut once again, unable to listen. “What we had was a long time ago. It’s over.” Not that you let me do any of that. “Please, just go.”
She was not taking the hint. I realised this as she walked over to the couch, sitting on the table in front of me and taking the beer from my hands. She placed it on the table beside her. “Do you still have the ring?”
Fuck. I looked up at her, trying to keep my composure. “What ring?”
A smile played on her lips. “The engagement ring you brought. Lauren told me about it. I ran into her on the way up here. She told me your apartment number. That’s how I found you.”
My sister was going to get it. “Leave me alone.” My headache was growing.
“You never sold the ring.” she kept talking, her legs spreading further open. Her dress opened, revealing no panties… and her landing strip. Christ. I looked away.
“There’s no ring. It’s not yours anymore. Never was, never will be.” I would never marry her. I wanted one woman, and she should be back soon after coffee with my sister. An unsettling feeling began to brew inside me.
Wait. Lauren was alone. There was no way Sienna would have allowed Jasmine to come up here without a fight.
My heart was racing. Her words were going through my mind, but they were not registering as clearly as they should. My lips parted, finding the words to speak back as Jasmine leant in closer.
Sienna is with Lauren.
Lauren is alone.
Jasmine is in my apartment.
Sienna is alone.
Colt let out a bark and ran past, wagging his tail. I couldn’t think. My mind was messed up. I went to turn around, but Jasmine’s hands cupped my face, and she went in with force, no holding back.
Sienna has a key.
Fuck.
As I felt Jasmine’s warm breath close to my face, her red lips nearing in, I also heard the door open.
I pushed Jasmine from me, jumping up and seeing the look on Sienna’s face that I never wanted to see again. I had put that look there. I had hurt her… I have hurt her. Colt was even sitting by her feet, giving me that look of disappointment.
My heart jolted in fear over what I had allowed to happen.
Sienna was staring at Jasmine, and Jasmine was staring back at her, wearing a victory smirk. Dread began to sink in the pit of my stomach, fast. “Jasmine, you should go.” Now. Fucking leave now.
She looked at me, muffling a sound that sounded like a squeak as she opened her mouth to refuse.
The words I heard weren’t what I was expecting to hear. Sienna had taken the time to speak up as she walked further into the apartment with a voice so calm, it almost frightened me. “Yes, Jasmine. Get the hell out and don’t bother coming back.”
Jasmine was never one to back down from a fight as she looked my girlfriend up and down. “If he wanted me to leave, then he would have kicked me out before we kissed. Trust me, honey, you’re just the rebound.”
“You’ve got your facts wrong, hun.” Sienna retorted, her voice laced with sarcasm. “I’m his girlfriend, something which you are most definitely not.”
“Maybe not now, but he was going to ask me to marry him, and I know that he still has the ring. Ask him about it.” Jasmine picked her black bag up, flicking her blonde hair up and over her shoulder as she began to make her exit. She stopped by Sienna with a look of pity. “You may be his girlfriend, but you’ll never be anything more than that. He wanted to marry me. We have two years together. You’re not even six months in.”
The door closed with a thud. I knew I had to move, to walk to her and get her back, but nothing was happening. I wasn’t moving. My feet were glued to the spot. I willed myself to walk towards her. I had to make this right.
“Sienna…” I whispered, pleading. I would have begged on my knees if I had to. “It’s not what you’re thinking.” Jesus, I couldn’t believe I had put myself in this position.
Her eyes went down behind me, to the coffee table where Jasmine and I had sat. “I just…” Her words were shaky, and her eyes soon began filling with tears as she fiddled with the silver key between her fingers. She set the key on the table by the door. “Go to hell.”
I deserved that.
“Nothing happened,” I called out, making a beeline for her before she left altogether.
She shot around, glaring. “You kissed her.”
“No. God, no.” I hadn’t kissed her. “She went to kiss me. I didn’t touch her. I swear.”
“You think I’m stupid?” She rolled her eyes, scoffing as she turned back to the door that had closed moments ago. “I’m not going to be that girl. Figure your shit out Jackson because I won’t let you hurt me.”
I went after her. “Sienna…” I called out, racing into the hallway. Our neighbours would assume we were having some lover’s spat. Even if we were. “You’re what I want.”
She had started to turn the key in her door, pushing on it. “You let her in your apartment…” Her door opened, and she hurried inside, trying to slam it in my face. “I can’t believe you let her in there.”
I did not need to use much force to push it open, following her. That was when I noticed all the boxes. “What is this?” My eyes scanned around the room. “What the fuck, Sienna?”
“What?” she said, wiping her nose on her shirt. She looked at me with tear-stained cheeks.
I swung my hand out, gesturing to the corner with boxes and a tape gun. “All of this. Where the hell are you going?” I was suddenly starting to grow annoyed. “You’re leaving?”
She snapped back with a piercing glare. “I told you that my lease was up and they weren’t going to renew as the tenants want to sell it. You couldn’t have been any less interested as you fell asleep while I was trying to talk about what’s on my mind.”
I racked my brain, trying to remember when she told me this. I could not remember anything. I had been too preoccupied with my own shit that I had not paid attention to her. “Where are you moving to?” I asked, walking over to see if there was an address on the boxes. There was nothing except kitchen written down.
“I don’t know. To Mum’s, maybe...” She trailed off, sniffing as she sat on the navy sofa. “Like you’d care,” she whispered softer, her gaze lowering as her hand reached up, fingers combing through her fallen hair.
“Of course, I care.” I scoffed back. Her mother’s? “That’s hours away. When were you planning to bring this up? You never even asked to stay with me.” My anger boiled once again. “What happens to us?”
She laughed, shaking her head with a snort. “Us? You think there is still an us?”
I swallowed hard. “Sienna…” I pleaded, remembering why we were fighting in the first place. My mistakes fucked this up.
She looked up, her tears falling down her reddened cheeks. “You wanted to marry her. You kept the ring.” Her eyes were bright, filling with fresh tears again. There was no anger, just devastation. “I can’t compete with her.”
I stayed silent. There was nothing to say because what she said was true. I had intended to propose to Jasmine, and the ring was still in my drawer. What baffled me was why she doubted herself so much. “Tell me how to fix this.”
“Deleting the photos of her is a good start.”
Photos? What photos?
“What?” I did not know why, but
I worried this was it.
“Don’t play stupid.” Her eyes rolled as she licked her lips and wiped her eyes with both hands. “I saw the photos of her on your phone. I didn’t mean to, but I found them… all of them last night.”
Fuck. I had been blasted in the face with a spray of cold water. She was right. I had forgotten all about that, to be honest. This was the reason she had been off. I felt like shit, immediately regretting that I hadn’t deleted them. Hell, I forgot about everything to do with Jasmine since she came into my life. “I—” I had nothing to say. I really fucked up.
Her eyes refused to meet mine. “Pease, just go. I don’t want to see you, at least not until you finish things with her.”
“There is no her.” My voice was harsh, angry. I was furious at myself for allowing Jasmine to come between us. But she hurt me too… for not trusting me enough, for not wanting to listen. “There is nothing with her. Christ!”
Sobbing, she frantically shook her head thrust an arm towards the door. “I love you. I love you so much, but you have no idea what it felt like walking in and seeing her in there. I get you have a past with her, but—”
I cut in, my hands clasping either side of her face, holding her for what I feared would be the last time. “But nothing. It’s just you.”
She yelled back, jolting away as if my touch burned her. “If it was me, then you wouldn’t have let her in the fucking apartment!! You wouldn’t have let her kiss you!! Jesus, Jackson, you would have never put yourself in this situation in the first place.”
I had never seen her so angry. To know that she was this hurt and wounded, broke me. “I never kissed her.” I had to defend myself. “Sienna, please…” I begged her to believe me. I would get on my fucking knees just to prove the kiss never happened.
She cried, her shoulders slumped, and I felt the heartache across her face as she looked at me. “I need time… Just please leave me alone.”
The realisation flooded in, and panic took over. I had lost her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
His Rebound Love Page 22