by Carol Wyatt
Cam had been afraid that Jackie wouldn’t want to see her again now that she knew Cam was her student. Jackie came across as being so put together, organized, in control. Seeing her like this, living a little on the edge, was making her even sexier which Cam didn’t think was possible.
Cam always did her best to live in the moment ever since her brother died. She’d stopped thinking about the future after he was gone even though that was all anyone wanted to talk about.
Take this class. It’ll improve your chances of getting into college.
What do you want to do with your life? Where are you going to college?
What do you want to study?
What kind of job do you want?
Cam had it from all sides: guidance counselors, teachers, her parents, people at church, classmates.
All she could think about was this gaping hole in her life. Her best friend, her only sibling was gone. The future was the furthest thing from her mind. She just wanted to get through each day.
Living in the moment was one thing. Being careless was another.
This was probably the most reckless thing that she’d ever done, but it wasn’t completely out of character.
Cam just hoped that she didn’t get her heart broken. Being with Jackie was exhilarating. She’d never felt like that before. The way that Jackie kissed her, the way their eyes met… Cam could feel herself falling as each day passed.
Kayla came to stand beside her, taking her away from her thoughts, as the last person sat down. They had a full house tonight.
“I think we’re ready to go,” Kayla said as she flicked the light switch and pressed the play button on the remote that she was holding.
Chapter 15
Jackie couldn’t believe that they were six weeks into the semester. Time was flying. Three weeks had already gone by since Cam had kissed her again.
They’d been in touch most days, but Jackie had been struggling with her conscience. She wanted to invite Cam over for a few drinks or dinner, but she knew that the chances of Cam leaving again that night were slim.
She was wrestling with her feelings, with her ethics and she wasn’t sure what was right or wrong anymore.
Even though she’d only caught glimpses of Cam from across the campus or the parking lot, her heart still fluttered when her eyes landed on her.
Jackie kept going back and forth about the whole situation. If Max Fields could get away with it then, why couldn’t she? And it wasn’t even the same for her. Cam wasn’t actually her student.
Jackie sighed and stretched her hands above her head. At this point in the year, she liked to meet her students one on one to discuss their first paper. Attendance was optional. She had a meeting scheduled for right about now but they’d yet to arrive.
She had two hundred and fifty-six students in her behavioral psychology class. Fifty-two had shown an interest in setting up a meeting but only thirty-seven had confirmed that they’d like to sit down and talk with her.
Jackie had seven or eight meetings scheduled each day this week, throughout the day, between classes and sometimes in the evening too. They only took five minutes, so she tried to squeeze in as many as she could.
She answered their questions and gave them advice for their next paper. It was hard lecturing a group that size, so she liked to give her students a chance to meet her personally and talk one on one about how they were doing.
This was her last meeting of the day: 5:15PM. Jackie double checked the time of the meeting and who it was with.
Cameron Lucas. He’d written a paper title “The Impact of Evolution on Human Behavior” and he’d made some solid arguments. The paper was more like something one of her seniors would have written. It was well researched for a freshman.
The paper had impressed Jackie but the fact that he was late was having the opposite effect on her.
Jackie leaned back in her chair. She had this weird game she liked to play before a student came in for their meeting. She liked to think about what they would look like based on their name and the kind of paper they’d turned in.
Cameron Lucas. Jackie couldn’t decide if he’d be a nerdy looking kid with glasses or tall and athletic. A knock on her door pushed those thoughts away.
“Come in.”
Cam was standing in her doorway.
“Hey,” she said softly.
“Hi. Cam,” Jackie said with a crooked smile. “What are you doing here?”
“I have a 5:15 meeting. Sorry I’m a few minutes late.”
Jackie’s pulse was pounding in her ears and she felt a little nauseous.
What did she just say?
Cam. Cameron… No.
Jackie thought she might get sick right there. She glanced down at the waste basket that was under her desk, swallowing the lump in her throat.
“Jackie, you okay?”
“Cam…” Jackie glanced down at the paper that she’d graded last night, not quite believing that it was hers, that she was taking her behavioral psychology class.
“Jackie, you’re shaking… What’s going on?”
“You’ve obviously known all along that I was your professor,” Jackie said, her voice shaking slightly with anger.
“Yes…”
Jackie pushed her chair back and stood up. She couldn’t sit still. She paced back and forth, in the space behind her desk, in front of the window.
Jackie’s hands were clenched at her sides. She could feel the anger swelling up inside of her.
“How could I have been so reckless?” Jackie whispered, more to herself than Cam.
“Wait, how did you not know that I was your student? Cameron isn’t exactly a common name.”
“Reading the name, I assumed you were a guy and I’ve only ever known you as Cam. I never thought about what your full name was. Also, I have two hundred and fifty-six students in that class alone. I can’t keep track of who’s who.”
Jackie wiped her hand across her face, still pacing the floor.
“I thought you knew,” Cam said in a voice just above a whisper.
“What am I going to do?”
“Nothing. We just kissed, and I won’t say anything,” Cam said as she stood up. “This has obviously been a huge misunderstanding… I thought you were okay with this.”
“How could I be okay with almost sleeping with one of my students?”
“Well, you wouldn’t be the first. I’ve heard rumors…”
“About who?”
“Professor Fields. I think he teaches some literature class. Linda Harrison. I had no idea that she taught here. I’ll probably have her next year.”
“She’s married.”
“I know but that obviously doesn’t stop her. Look, it doesn’t matter. I’m not interested in dating a professor. It was just you, Jackie, and you happened to be my professor… I can’t believe how unlucky we are.”
Jackie nodded. “Well, your paper was excellent… You can take it. It’s on the top of the pile. My notes are on it… I can’t sit down and go over it with you. Not now anyway…”
“Of course… You’re shaking,” Cam said, meeting her eyes.
“I’m in shock.”
Cam reached for her paper across Jackie’s desk and slid it into her leather satchel. Jackie watched her as she crossed the room to stand in front of her.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Cam said softly. “Okay? We didn’t sleep together. No one knows that we kissed. I didn’t tell anyone anyway.”
Jackie nodded, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.
“Everything’s going to be okay… I’ll see you around campus I guess,” Cam said as she showed herself out.
Jackie couldn’t understand how she was being so calm about all this. Jackie could hear the sadness in Cam’s voice though.
She wished there was something she could do about it but there wasn’t. They just had to stay away from each other. That was the only solution.
They had to end things before th
ey could even begin, and Jackie would just have to hope that her feelings would fade with time.
Chapter 16
Jackie got to her Tuesday morning lecture early and took off her cream winter coat and green scarf. She took her time setting up her laptop and getting ready as a few students pushed opened the doors at the back of the room and found a seat.
It had been almost a month since Cam had walked into her office. She’d gone home in a daze that evening, wondering how she could have missed it but what she’d told Cam was true. She had hundreds of students every year.
She shouldn’t have assumed that Cameron was a guy, but she’d only seen the name when she was grading that paper. They’d already kissed twice at that point.
Jackie had to accept the fact that she couldn’t change what happened, she just had to make the decision not to cross that line again.
They’d been avoiding each other for the last month. Jackie was sure of it. She knew that she didn’t want to bump into Cam, but she thought Cam might approach her at some point.
Jackie was glad that she hadn’t because it would have been so hard to stay away, especially if they were alone together.
Cam always sat at the back of her lectures. Almost every seat was taken now, and Jackie scanned the back of the room before she dimmed the lights. Her eyes easily found Cam, her chestnut hair, steaked with rusty shades, pulled back into a messy bun.
Jackie sighed as she looked away. It was for the best really. Things could have been a lot worse.
Jackie didn’t need the distraction. Her rule was still firmly in place. No students. But for the first time, she had to deal with temptation.
She just couldn’t believe how close she’d come to breaking that rule. If they’d met one more time, Jackie was certain that they would have fallen into bed together.
But she hadn’t known that Cam was her student, so it was different, right?
Now she did know… And Jackie was still incredibly attracted to her. She’d seen her a few times crossing the campus parking lot or heading in the same building ahead of her.
She wanted to talk to her but what was the point? What could she say?
They couldn’t be friends. She was a student and why would they even be friends anyway? Jackie was too drawn to her. It would just be torture.
The only solution was to keep their distance.
Chapter 17
Cam tucked her scarf further into her black winter jacket as she crouched down in front of the massive oak tree by the side of the road, leaving a bunch of lilies at the foot of it.
It was a cold and cloudy day with snow forecasted in the evening. Cam hated this time of year, the way winter choked the landscape, suffocating the archaic trees.
It was hard to believe that seven years had gone by since her brother, Stephen, had died.
She’d been fifteen, Stephen eighteen. They were on their way to Philadelphia for Cam’s first real concert. He wanted to take her away for the weekend.
The roads were icy, and Stephen took the bend too fast. They skidded across the road, slamming into this tree. He didn’t have his seatbelt on, but Cam did.
She didn’t remember large chunks of that day but the sound of the tires screeching and the crunch of metal against this tree would stay with her forever. She remembered the blinding pain that shot through her legs when she tried to move.
Cam tried to imagine what he’d be like now, if that night hadn’t happened. He’d be twenty-five years old. He was supposed to go to college and play baseball on a scholarship. He might have even made it to the big leagues.
Cam missed him every day, but the anniversary was always hard. She’d skipped all her classes for the day. She didn’t want to see anyone or have to explain her mood.
In the evening, she’d go into the library and try to get some studying done for her exams that were starting next week. Hopefully, she’d be able to focus by then.
Chapter 18
Snow flurries fell, sticking to her windscreen as Cam pulled into the only free parking space she could see. Everyone else had the same idea, cramming for their exams at the library.
She was lucky to find a spot. She turned off her car and reached across the passenger seat to get her leather messenger bag with her notes. She wanted to put in a solid two or three hours that evening.
Cam got out of her car, slinging her bag over her shoulder.
“Cam!”
She turned to see Jackie walking towards her in a beige winter jacket with a deep green scarf wrapped around her neck.
“Hi,” Jackie said with a shy smile as got closer.
“Hey… How are you?”
This was the first time they’d spoken since the argument they’d had in Jackie’s office six weeks ago.
“Good… I feel like all I’m doing lately is trying to calm everybody down. I hope you’re not worried about your exams?”
“No… I’m quietly confident.”
“You should be.”
“I’m still heading to the library though,” Cam said with a lopsided smile. “So not that confident.”
“I won’t keep you then… Are you okay?” Jackie asked, her brows furrowing slightly.
Cam nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Okay… I’ll let you get going… It was nice to see you.”
“You too.”
Cam’s eyes followed her as she made her way to her white Audi. There was just something about her.
Kayla had been trying to fix her up, but she kept putting it off. She couldn’t imagine kissing someone other than Jackie.
Cam looked away and turned to head into the library. She didn’t know how she was going to get over her. Jackie was the most confident, beautiful, sexy woman that she’d ever met.
Cam still couldn’t believe how bad their timing was. Kayla had asked her to play softball last year and the year before.
If Cam had started playing then, she would have met Jackie long before she was her student.
But would anything have come of it?
Jackie probably wouldn’t have been interested in her when she was only nineteen or twenty.
Cam pushed open the library door and tried to forget about all those ‘What ifs?’
Chapter 19
Cam’s mocha colored eyes surveyed the function room, making sure everything was running smoothly. The DJ was in the top-left corner of the room, taking requests now.
This was the youth group’s third year having a Christmas party. They rented out a function room at a different hotel each year, bringing together several youth groups and pooling their resources together to hire a DJ and caterer.
They’d had fundraisers throughout the year and it was worth it. Cam wished she’d had something like this when she was their age.
She remembered how hard it was when she was sixteen or seventeen. She was too young to sign up for an online dating site and she’d been too scared to approach anyone from school.
This was a safe place for the sixty or seventy teenagers that showed up tonight and it was a great experience for the members of their group to meet other LGBTQ youth.
Tonight, everyone was dressed in their best. Some wore dresses and suits, others a nice top with black pants.
Cam wore black skinny jeans and a teal tank top with a black blazer and heels. Her auburn hair was down but more styled than usual.
She caught Kayla’s eyes across the room and she gave her a thumbs up. The night was going well. Cam went to check on the food and drinks and the only problem they seemed to have was that they’d run out of ice.
She couldn’t see any hotel staff in the room and the bar on the far side of the room was closed. She’d have to wander down to another one of the other function rooms to see if they’d give her a bucket of ice.
Chapter 20
There was nothing Jackie hated more than small talk and she couldn’t get away from the young man that was standing beside her, telling her about how world war three was going to start.
She’d just met him a few minutes ago, but she was stuck to him like a stringy piece of gum that you couldn’t get off the bottom of your shoe.
Linda’s fiftieth birthday party was a real mix of characters. Linda had a large family and they were all here. Almost everyone from the Psychology Department came and a few other people from college that Linda was friends with. Most of the softball team was here too. Jackie assumed the people she didn’t recognize were either family or members of the golf club.