by Woods, Emily
“Oh no, Miss Maddie. Your mother would have our heads.”
Now she did actually sigh. Her mother believed that as long as she was addressed somewhat formally by the men, they would respect her. They did that alright, and not one of them had ever done anything even remotely improper. That probably also had to do with the fact that her father was a bear of a man who would cause any of his hands a world of hurt if they looked at her the wrong way.
Uncle John was also extremely protective and watched over her like a second father, as did the other older men—Carl, Wyatt, and Thomas—who lived on other parts of the large homestead. In total, she felt like she had five fathers. It seemed she could hardly take a step in one direction or another without someone seeing what she was doing.
“Mother,” she said suddenly in an overly loud voice. “Shall I help you with dessert?”
Kate raised an eyebrow in mild surprise. Maddie always helped with serving and whatnot, never asking if her assistance was desired. “Of course,” she replied. “Just as soon as we're ready for it.”
Although she hadn't helped in making the pies this afternoon, she was anxious to help serve them. Standing up and walking around the table would give her a different vantage point and possibly draw Cole's eyes toward her.
However, as the dinner plates were being cleared, he stood and made his excuses.
“I hope you don't mind if I skip dessert. I'm pretty tired.”
They all murmured their understanding and he left, never once looking back.
Maddie watched him go, her heart twisting in frustration.
“Watch yourself, daughter,” her mother said in a low voice. “Don't go looking for trouble.”
“If I did, I certainly wouldn't find it here,” she huffed in reply as they entered the kitchen.
“What's that supposed to mean?” Kate's eyebrows lowered as she gave her daughter a hard look.
Part of her chaffed at her mother’s protectiveness, but the other part understood. It couldn't be easy having a grown daughter around so many single men. She'd understood from the time she turned fourteen that she couldn't speak to any of them alone, and that she shouldn't even be out of the house without telling her mother where she was going, but these restrictions were starting to irritate her more and more.
“Never mind,” she muttered, grabbing the dirty stack of dishes and thrusting them into the basin of hot water. They never needed to scrape the plates as the men all but licked them clean.
“Perhaps I will bring in the pies,” Elise gracefully left the kitchen with the apple pies, leaving mother and daughter to talk.
“Daughter, you not only disobeyed the rules today, but you were caught eavesdropping on the new ranch hand and made a mess of yourself...literally. I don't want any of the men here to think that they can treat you with disrespect, but you need to behave respectably.”
“I wasn't walking around naked,” she threw back. “I was decently clothed, even more so than I am now!”
Her father's borrowed clothing certainly showed less than the dress she was wearing.
“Decency is a matter of perception, and one that you don't seem familiar with. Respectable women do not wear men's clothing, nor do they go slinking off into barns unaccompanied. Now, I forgave you easily when I didn’t know the whole story, but now I feel you’re hiding things from me.”
“Because you don’t understand!” she nearly shouted back, but then she immediately regretted her words when her mother's face paled. “Oh, Mama, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout like that, but can't you see that I'm grown now? You can't keep treating me like I'm ten years old.”
Kate sank into the nearest chair. “I know that, dearest, but you don't understand...”
“I do, but please think about things from my point of view. I've never been allowed to have any freedom since I turned fourteen and... developed. You've been watching over me like you're expecting me to make some kind of mistake. I feel...suffocated.”
It was hard to see her mother so overcome, but Maddie didn't give in. She'd been on the edge of asserting herself so many times, and now she forced herself to see it through.
“Please, Mama. I'm not asking a lot, but let me move freely around the ranch. None of these men would ever dream of hurting me. They respect you and Daddy too much.”
Kate took in a long breath and then let it go before nodding. “Let me talk to your father about it and see if we can come up with something. You're right. You are an adult and deserve some freedom. By the time I was your age, I was already engaged to...”
She didn't finish, and Maddie didn't pursue it. It was rare that the two of them talked about her biological father. Although Maddie knew there were some secrets there, she never felt the need to find out what they were.
“Thanks, Mama. Thank you for listening.”
“You're welcome, dearest. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
Later that night, when Maddie was in bed, she reviewed the conversation. She knew that in some ways, she was acting like a spoiled child, wanting what she couldn't have, but it was time for her to grow up a little and pull away from her parents. What that looked like exactly, she didn't know for sure, but getting some freedom on the ranch would be a good beginning.
Chapter 4
Cole saw Maddie leave the table, but tried not to pay her any attention. Even though he acknowledged that she was very attractive, he didn’t feel any strong attraction to her. Not only was she spoiled, but she didn’t appreciate what she had, her home, her family, and the love and protection of a good man who had stepped in to be a father to her.
He’d found out from the other hands last night that Luke had only been on the ranch for a little more than fifteen years and had married Kate shortly after she arrived from back east. In some small way, the two of them had something in common—they’d both lost their fathers at an early age—but Kate hadn’t suffered the way he had. She hadn’t had to endure the heavy burden of living with people who didn’t want you and cousins who resented his very existence. They took great pains to make sure he knew they couldn’t have some things because of him. Guilt had been his companion all through his teenage years.
Upon turning twenty, he’d received the money his parents had left him and left the very next day, running straight to the ranch where he was sure he’d find solace.
But now he wondered what he'd run to. Was he going to find peace here? Was he even looking for it?
Tossing and turning in his assigned bunk, Cole was tormented by these thoughts. By the time the men came in, he was too irritated to even pretend to be asleep. He sat up and watched them enter.
“What do you guys do around here for entertainment?” he asked the one on the bunk closest to his own.
“Yeah, Austin. Tell him what you do for fun,” another man teased.
Austin's mouth twisted a little, obviously not taking the other men’s ribbing too hard. “Some of the guys play cards or checkers,” he told Cole. “But I spend an hour or two reading the Word.”
“What?” He had no idea what the other man meant until he saw him pick up a thick, leather-bound book. “Oh, the Bible.” He had no interest in talking to a religious fanatic. “Uh, good for you.” He pushed himself off the bunk and walked over to where some of the others were sitting around a table. One man was shuffling some cards. “Do you play for money?”
They shook their heads. “Nah, Boss won't let us,” Boone declared. “He says it'll make trouble if we do, and I suspect he's right. We just practice with each other so when we go into town, we're ready to win.”
That sounded interesting to him. “How often do you go into town?”
“Every time we get paid, so once a month.” This comment was made by Charlie, the oldest of the hands. He wasn't a large man, and he was Cole's senior by at least ten years, but he wouldn't like to get on the man's bad side. He looked like he could have a mean streak.
The other men, Jesse, Mark and Boone, seemed harmless e
nough, and he knew he’d rather spend time with them than Austin. He had no patience for over-zealous Christians.
“So, can I sit in?” he asked. They made room for him and over the next hour, he learned how to play poker, Western style.
“You're pretty good for a young 'un,” Charlie joked. “Been around a lot of tables?”
“Not too many,” he said casually, not wanting to give away too much. In fact, he'd learned to play when he was fourteen, often relieving his classmates of their allowances, but no one had ever ratted him out. Boys were too proud to admit when they were beaten, but they did slowly cut him out of their games. Long before he'd finished school, he had to resort to outside games, which were far more dangerous. Still, he'd learned a lot of life lessons by playing in the backrooms of public houses where he was careful to never win more than a fraction of what he'd come in with. To him, it ended up being a game of manipulation rather than a means to make money.
“Well, that's it for me,” Boone stated casually. “Only so much a man's ego can take.” He stretched and then made his way over to his bunk. “Early morning on top of that.”
“He's a lightweight,” Charlie joked, rolling his eyes at the younger man. “Always the first to bed.”
However, not long after that, the others also made their way to their bunks, extinguishing the candles and flopping down noisily with a plethora of grunts and groans.
Cole did the same, but didn't close his eyes right away.
“Are you going to put that out soon?” he asked Austin. The man startled a little and then looked over apologetically.
“Sorry. Does it bother you?” Before waiting for an answer, he wet his fingers and extinguished the candle with a pinch of his fingers. The wick hissed and Cole heard him replace the Bible on the table beside him and settle down in the bunk.
“How can you even read by that small light?” He needed full daylight to read.
“I'm used to it,” Austin replied quietly.
The man's gentle response made him feel a bit guilty. “You didn't have to put it out right away. You could have finished what you were reading.”
A little chuckle reached his ears. “Finish reading the Bible? I don't think I'll ever really do that.”
“What do you mean? Like, read it from front to back?”
“Nah, I've done that a few times, but whenever I'm done with Revelations, I go back to Genesis.”
Cole was puzzled. He'd never read the same book twice. “Why would you do that?”
The answer didn't come right away, but when Austin did speak again, his voice was thoughtful. “It's like looking at an amazing painting. Even though you've seen it once, you keep looking at it again and again, seeing something incredible and having your breath taken away each time. Every time I read it, I find something new. God's word speaks to me at different times of my life in different ways.”
“Are you ladies going to keep yakking all night?” From the gruffness of the voice, Cole figured it was Charlie speaking.
“Sorry,” he said. “ 'Night.”
The room fell silent and he tried to sleep, but the day's events wouldn't stop playing over and over in his head. Then Austin’s words kept spinning around in his mind. What did he mean? Finally, when he did fall asleep, the last thing he saw was his uncle’s face frowning at him.
* * *
Maddie sat in the parlor after dinner with her parents, younger siblings, and Uncle John's family. She loved her brother and sisters as well as the other children, but tonight, she had the urge to be alone.
“Mind if I go for a walk?” she asked her mother. “It's a nice night and I'm getting a bit of a headache.”
“I'll go with you,” she replied. “Just let me put away my knitting.”
“I'd really rather go alone.” Maddie gave her mother a look, trying to remind her of the conversation they'd had just an hour ago.
“Darling, I understand, but it's dark out now. Could you please start asserting yourself in the daytime?”
Elise stood and approached them. “The children are playing so well together, and I would like to see the stars as well. Perhaps we could go together?”
It wasn't ideal, but Elise was good company. She didn't find the need to fill every silence.
“Is that okay, Mama?”
Kate gave a nod to her and a tight smile to Elise. It was clear that she wanted to be the one to keep her daughter company, but backed off nonetheless.
“It is a beautiful night,” Elise murmured once they got outside. “Not too cold.”
There was a bit of a nip in the air, reminding them that winter wasn't entirely gone, but Maddie found it refreshing.
“Yes, you're right.” She didn't say anything else, and Elise seemed to understand that she wanted to enjoy the stillness of the night and said no more.
The two of them walked toward the barn, around the bunkhouse, and then over to the small lake that still glimmered in the moonlight.
“I nearly drowned in the lake when I was little,” Maddie said suddenly.
“I remember,” Elise replied softly. “Your parents were very scared.”
“So was I.” The memory floated back easily, and she saw her father sliding across the thin ice with a rope around his middle. Once he had reached her, the two of them were pulled back by the ranch hands. Her mother had immediately enveloped her in a blanket and held her close to her chest, giving her the warmth of her own body. Back then, she’d relished the feeling, but now whenever her mother pulled her in for a hug, she felt a little breathless.
“Aunt Elise, I know my parents love me, but I feel like I'm living in their lives. Is it wrong for me to want my own?” she asked, hating the irritable note in her voice.
Elise didn't respond right away. That was another thing Maddie appreciated about her. She didn't speak her mind without thinking first.
“It is not wrong, but it is hard for parents to release a child. They love you so much and worry that you will be hurt.”
“But everyone gets hurt. Isn't that part of life?”
“Si, cara,” she answered in Italian. Even though she'd lived in the United States for many years, she still reverted to her own language when she was emotional. Maddie loved hearing the foreign words. It made her feel especially cherished. “But you must understand that a mother's heart is so very tender for her children. She knows she cannot take away their pain, and that she should not, but still she longs to make an easy life for them.”
“I guess I know that, but she can't understand what it's like. She married my father when she was my age, so she had freedom that I don't. Her whole life was so different. She had a lot of men to choose from, and I don't have any.”
“I suppose you have no feelings for Jacob Bowman, Carl’s brother? He is a very respectable man.”
“Eww., Aunt Elise, he's nearly thirty!”
Her aunt smiled, somewhat indulgently. “Yes, I suppose that seems very old to your eighteen years.”
“Plus, I've known him all my life. I want a new adventure. I wish Mom and Dad would let me live in town.”
Again, there was no immediate reply. Elise took a full three minutes before responding. “What would you do in town?”
“Oh, I don't know. Waitress in the hotel? Work at a store? Cook at the boarding house? Become an employee in a factory? I'm sure there are a number of jobs there.”
“Mmm. Maybe so.” Another pause. “But in any of those situations, can you see that your parents might feel it is dangerous? There are many men and you will not have your parents’ protection.”
She sighed, deep and long. “I understand, but I would get to meet new people, and they could tell me about the places they've been, and who knows? Maybe I'll get to travel and have some adventures of my own.”
Elise said nothing, just stood beside her gazing up at the vast inky sky dotted with diamonds.
“It's a big dream,” Maddie said. “Probably too big for me, but I can't help it. I want to see things and go p
laces. This ranch is my parents' dream, and I'm glad they got to live it, but it's not mine.”
“And you believe going to live in town will make you happy?”
“Maybe not, but it would be a step in the right direction. I just know it.”
“Well, cara, I cannot tell you what your future will be, but as I have heard others say here, be careful what you wish for.”
Chapter 5
Somehow talking about her hopes of moving away had made her dreams seem more possible, and the next day, Maddie began to declare her independence a little more. She thought perhaps if she stretched the limits a little at a time, her parents might be ready to let her go in a few months.
“You're going out?” her mother asked after the breakfast dishes had been cleared away. “Where to?”
Maddie shook her head a little as she pulled on her boots. “Just riding. I won't bother the hands with their work, but Spark needs some exercise, and it's a good day for it.”
A slight frown appeared on Kate's face, but she didn't voice any displeasure. “Please be home before lunch. You can do your chores in the afternoon.”
Maddie shot her mother a tight smile. She realized that helping out around the house was the price to pay for being an adult, but she wished they had enough money to hire someone like the Crawfords did.
The thought of their neighbors made her ride in their direction. They had a beautiful homestead, nearly as large as Triple Range. For a short time, it had been incorporated into her parents' ranch because of some financial difficulty that the Crawfords had been having, but from what she'd picked up, Wesley had been able to pay back the loan and was once again the full owner of his ranch.
“Good morning!” she called out when she saw Tallie Crawford out front with her children. The oldest child was now around nine years old, the twins were three years younger, and the last one was five. Tallie was radiant and expecting again. “How are you this morning?”
“I'm right as rain, as they say around here. You look very happy today. Out riding by yourself?” Tallie looked over Maddie's shoulder for a chaperone.