Never Again (Never Again Series Book 1)

by Jamie Lynn Boothe

  Sam started grinning and breathing again. She thought she had been serious for a minute.

  “Girl, don’t pick on me like that. Thank you. I figured while you were asleep it would give me something to do with my time. I started thinking about it when I was watching the Food Network in your room.”

  “I love watching that show, too! I have it on Netflix. You will be done with school before you know it. What do you think will happen after that? Have you given that much thought? I mean other than your menu.”

  Taking a drink from her water she thought before answering.

  “In a perfect world, it would be great if I could get a loan and find a place that would be at least somewhat already setup and work up from there. Maybe, even find a business that would sell. I don’t know. I will have to give it a lot of thought and definitely pray hard about it.”

  “That’s something I have been meaning to do, too.”

  Unsure of what she meant, Sam asked, “What? Prayer?”

  Nodding Tonya answered, “Yeah. You would think I would be doing a lot more of it with this.” She placed her hand on her breast. “But, for some reason I haven’t. I don’t know Sam. I know there’s a God upstairs. I know and I believe, but I have never really been big on religion. Other than that time I went to church with you and Chris I haven’t been in years. I don’t think I even own a Bible. Is there something wrong with me? I have so much I should be grateful for, but for some stupid reason there’s a part of me that thinks He did this to me. That maybe He doesn’t love me as much as He loves others. Is that crazy?”

  Looking at her friend with compassion and wishing she had all the answers, Sam reached over and took one of her hands.

  “I don’t have the knowledge to answer everything you are feeling. All I know is that I personally wouldn’t be here without Him. I know this deeply. Am I perfect? By no means and I wonder sometimes if I am truly right with Him. I haven’t been baptized and I wonder if He came down here right now if He would take me with Him. I think the best thing we could do is talk to Him. I believe it’s a personal relationship we all have to have. I know I need to get closer with Him so maybe you need to really think about it too.”

  “Yeah, I know I do. I’m going to give it some serious thought.”

  Sam got up from the table and started cleaning the dishes. Tonya helped rinse them off and put them in the dishwasher.

  Sam told her she wanted to go to the hospital and get her cast cut off and they agreed to do that the next day.

  “I need to call my doctor, too. I need to see what is next and find out if I need further treatment.”

  They didn’t talk much about it because Tonya didn’t want to get depressed and Sam didn’t push her on the subject. The rest of the evening faded away and they went to bed.

  Tonya laid still with her hand over her scar. She cried and was afraid. She didn’t understand why she was scared to talk to God. Part of her felt silly talking to someone she couldn’t see or hear or touch. She meant what she said at dinner about believing. So why was she so scared and stubborn about it? She whispered a prayer although it was short, but at least it was a beginning.

  “God. If You can hear me. I need You. I need some clarity and I need Your comfort. Please, help me.”

  ***

  Sam stared at the lights that danced across the walls and upward across the ceiling when cars drove up and down the streets. She stared at the different shades of darkness that covered every aspect of the room, but her mind wasn’t focused on anything her eyes could see. Her focus was the conversation with Tonya. Not about school. Not about her list or even the possibilities of her future. She thought about their struggles with God.

  Sam had always believed and for the most part had been a positive person, but that didn’t make her a Christian. She had been to church enough to know what the Bible says about what a person has to do to become a Christian. One has to say they believe in Jesus Christ and that He is the son of God. That He died for them on the cross and rose again for their sins. One has to ask for forgiveness of their sins and ask Jesus to enter their heart and follow Him the rest of their lives to the best of their abilities. Being baptized would be a great thing to do too, but she wasn’t sure if that was a requirement to get into heaven or not. She also knew or at least believed that everyone was born a sinner and would die a sinner, and she would struggle at times. There would be times she would make mistakes and sin, but God would forgive. All of those things trampled through her mind. All of those things she knew were things she had been taught, but were confusing.

  She rolled over onto her side and laid the arm with the heavy cast in front of her. Have I truly repented of my sins? Have I ever really got on my knees and asked Jesus to be my Savior? She tried to remember through all her years and almost cried when she couldn’t. Then again, for something that important she shouldn’t have that trouble remembering if she had done it. Would she go to Heaven if Jesus would return right at that moment? She had to honestly say that she didn’t know. Realizing that frightened her. The reality of the possibility of burning in hell for eternity was enough and she didn’t want to take that risk. Not for one more second.

  She threw the covers off her and did what she should have done many years ago. She got on her knees and clasped her hands together and looked like the perfect painting of a child looking to God. That’s what she has always been she thought. A child. She closed her eyes and spoke from her heart completely unridden of all her fears because she knew she had nothing to fear.

  “Lord, Jesus. I’m not afraid to talk to You right now. I’m not one hundred percent sure of exactly how I am supposed to say it, but You know what is on my mind and what is in my heart. I realize that I’m not sure if I would go to Heaven right now if You were to come back and I don’t want to be unsure anymore. I want to know for a fact that I will be with You. So, Jesus I want You to hear me say out loud that I know You are the Son of God. I know You died for me, and my sins, and rose again. I was taught that a long time ago. I know You are my Lord and Savior and I ask You Jesus to please forgive me of my sins. Please come into my heart and save me from eternal hell. I want to follow You from now on. I love You Lord and know I would not even be here if it wasn’t for You. Please. Forgive me. In Your name, I pray. Amen.”

  Sam stayed where she was for a few minutes and laid her head on the edge of the mattress. She could feel a weight lift from her as if a dark shadow was removed from her shoulders. As if Jesus Himself was right next to her and wiped her clean. She believed that was what did happen and she cried. Not tears of pain. Not tears of fear, but tears of relief and happiness.

  ***

  The next day was Saturday. Sam again woke up before Tonya and when she did she felt better than she had in a long time. She realized she had fooled herself for so long thinking that everything was okay. Maybe, on certain levels they were, but not like she felt then. She smiled and the first thing she did was pray and thank God for blessing her with another day. She asked that He get her through the day and to guide her and to help her loved ones.

  She walked into the kitchen and made some coffee then got dressed. She wouldn’t usually get dressed any time before coffee, but she felt liberated. She could feel the pink cloud beneath her feet and part of her wanted to go for a run, but she wouldn’t do that. Running most likely wasn’t in her cards yet. Baby steps was what she still needed to take as far as her health was concerned.

  She waited for Tonya and looked online for some churches in the area. She wanted to go in the morning if she could find one she thought she would like. Of course, the best way to know that was to get out and go. She wouldn’t know until she was there, but she found one that was only about two miles from the apartment and wrote the address down. She would ask Tonya if she wanted to go with her. She couldn’t wait to tell her what happened last night.

  Thirty minutes later Tonya walked into the room stretching and yawning.

  “Good morning sleepyhead,” Sam joked
with her.

  “Umm, good morning early bird,” she mumbled and went to the coffee pot. When she had her cup, she sat next to her and asked what she was doing.

  “Well, now I’m just sending my parents an email letting them know I love them and how we both are. It was too early to call and it was something I felt like doing. Earlier, I was looking for a church to go to tomorrow.”

  “Really? Did you find one?” Tonya sounded surprised.

  Grinning, Sam replied, “Yes, I did, actually, not far from here. I would really like to go tomorrow. What do you think? Do you think you would want to go?”

  Tonya thought for a few seconds and nodded. “Yes, I need to and well, I want to. I’m not awake enough to think yet, but yes I want to go.”

  “Good,” Sam said. She paused and looked at Tonya and asked, “Want to know what I did last night?”

  Setting her cup down and cautiously asked in response, “What? I’m not sure how to take your expression right now so tell me.”

  “I got saved.”

  “Saved?”

  “Yes. After we talked and went to bed I was thinking about everything. About what we talked about. About being one hundred percent sure of what would happen to me when Jesus comes back. About everything. To be truthful I got really scared, sweetie. I don’t want to go to hell so I got out of bed and hit my knees and asked Jesus to save me from that horrible place. I asked Him to forgive my sins and come into my heart.”

  Tonya wasn’t sure what to say. She stared at her best friend of many years and at first, she was confused. Finally, she asked, “Do you truly believe in Hell? Do you believe so much that God will save you? It’s that easy?”

  “Yes, to all of that,” Sam replied and waited. She waited to see what else her friend would say or ask.

  Tonya surprised her by seeing her eyes fill with tears. Her hands began to shake and she closed her eyes as she became overcome with her emotions.

  “Tonya, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

  It took her a minute to calm down enough to talk, but she eventually dried her eyes and answered her.

  “Last night I was lying in bed afraid, too. I said a small prayer for the first time in a long time, but nothing like that.” She took a deep breath and with complete honesty asked, “Tell me how I need to do it. Right here and right now. Honey, I’m tired of being confused and afraid. I want your God to save me, too.”

  “He’s not only my God. He’s yours too. I’m no saint, but let’s do this.”

  With complete joy filling Sam’s heart, she told Tonya to close her eyes and told her to repeat what she said in her prayer. A couple of minutes went by. Tears were shuddered through trembling lips, but when it was over. Tonya felt like a new born woman. She reached for Sam and they held on to each other sharing their emotions and joy. Together, they had changed their lives forever and had a much brighter future.

  Chapter Seventeen

  It was time to go to work. It was time to help the two ladies in Florida who had no idea what was going to happen in their lives. Thankfully, they both made the most important decision they could ever make, but would they remain feeling that way, or would their pain turn them back to the enemy? It was Marion’s turn to prove herself to her Master.

  Marion watched Sam and Tonya as they walked into the hospital. She knew what they were there for and if she played her part right, things could go very well for them both. If not, well then things could get ugly and Marion didn’t like ugly.

  Marion hadn’t been an angel long. At least not in terms of Heaven’s time. She’d been around a long time in human years, though. Her Master let her know that she could advance and earn her wings if she can help the two ladies. So now she had to play a doctor. She might literally have to save one of their lives. But God could save their souls.

  She walked into the hospital like any other doctor would. She could be seen by everyone, and to all who did she didn’t look any different than anyone else. She already had her I.D. badge and credentials with her so fitting in would be easy. All she had to do was meet them both and convince them she is who and what she was posing to be.

  To the human eye, she looked around the age of thirty-five and had shoulder length fiery red hair and emerald green eyes. She was petite and stood five feet eight inches tall. She smiled a lot, but that had always come naturally to her. Like most red heads she could be feisty when she needed to be.

  Marion walked with ease and made the people around her comfortable. She didn’t try to connect with too many, though. She was there to do a job and that was to get to know Sam and to save her life. If that was in God’s plan. Only He knew what would happen.

  ***

  Luck happened to be on their side when they got to the Hospital. Tonya was able to meet with her doctor and be examined while Sam was seen by someone to have her cast removed. They couldn’t have been happier about not having to wait long as they went into separate rooms.

  Sam looked away as the intern turned on the cast saw. It was louder than she had expected but it cut right through the hard and thick part of the cast. Before he could remove it though he took a small crowbar type instrument and split it on both sides then cut the gauze beneath it with scissors. Once it was finally removed it was a relief beyond all things before that. Or so it seemed at that moment.

  He instructed her to be careful at first at using her arm and to ease into it and move it around slowly sometimes. Plus, he said to put lotion on it to help stop the itching. That would be the easy part compared to wearing the cast for eight weeks.

  Sam was walking toward the waiting area when Tonya walked out of her examination room with a beautiful doctor. Sam was caught off guard for reasons she couldn’t think of, but she knew she had never seen a doctor as lovely. There was something about her that stood out, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

  “Sam, this is Dr. Marion Wings. She checked me out and said I’m improving at a great pace.”

  “Hello, Sam. It’s nice to meet you,” Dr. Marion Wings greeted her.

  Sam felt foolish for the way she was feeling, but tried to hide it.

  “Hello.”

  Dr. Wings looked at Tonya and said, “You are doing very well, but you still need to take it easy for now. I will get the results back later this afternoon and I’ll call you and let you know if I find anything. I have a feeling that everything is great.”

  “Okay, thanks Doc, I really appreciate it.”

  “You are very welcome and Sam, it was nice meeting you. You two have a great day.”

  Dr. Marion Wings walked away and Sam couldn’t help but watch her. What was it about her that gave her the feeling she stood next to someone or something special? Shaking her head, she caught Tonya looking at her weird.

  “I’m okay. Come on, I’m ready to go if you are.”

  “Yes, definitely.”

  As they were walking out to the car Sam couldn’t shake that feeling. Not that it was a bad thing. In a way she felt blessed to have met Tonya’s new doctor. She didn’t know why, but she did.

  “Are you okay?” Tonya asked her when they were buckling their seatbelts.

  “Hmmm? Yes, why?”

  “Because you seem a little off for some reason.”

  “I’m fine, and congratulations on a good exam. I know you have to feel somewhat better now.”

  “I do, but I’ll feel even better once I talk to her again to get the results. I agree with her though. I think it’s going to be great, but I’m not going to get my hopes up too high just yet. How does it feel to have that cast off?”

  “Oh, my goodness it feels great! It was pretty cool how they cut it off, too.”

  “Hey, let’s celebrate and go get some ice cream!” Tonya suggested.

  “I love the way you think.”

  They wouldn’t be home for another hour as they treated themselves. At the same time a florist delivery man with a beautiful and special gift for one of them would soon be going to the apartment. A gif
t that will do more than surprise the recipient.

  ***

  Chris walked into the florist with the want and need to do something nice for Sam. She had only been gone for a few days, but he missed her. He missed everything about her. He understood why she needed to be in Florida with Tonya, and he fully supported her going to help out her best friend.

  Gloria’s Florist was only a hop, skip, and a jump from work so he decided to go there on his lunch break to buy her a dozen roses. He would have them delivered to Tonya’s and surprise her. Hopefully, they would make her day and brighten it up a little.

  When he walked in a lady he assumed was Gloria was arranging some baby’s breath in a vase with some yellow carnations. When he approached the glass counter she looked up and smiled and greeted him with a southern accent. Obviously, she wasn’t from around Torrington.

  “Good afternoon,” she greeted him. “How may I help you?”

  “Hi, I would like to surprise my wife with some roses. She’s in Florida helping a friend and I think it would make her feel good knowing I’m thinking about her.”

  “I’m sure it would. How many would you like to send to her?”

  “A dozen and I would like to write a small note to go with it, please.”

  “Of course.”

  Gloria handed him a card and he thought for a minute of something simple, but loving. When he did he grinned and wrote it on the card she had handed him. Four simple words. Anything for your love. He added a heart and a smiley face beneath it and handed it to Gloria. Not many words but with a lot of meaning.

  “Very sweet.”

  “Can you add some of those with them?” he asked motioning to the baby’s breath.

  “Of course. I just need the address of where they are going and her name.”

  “Right, of course.”