Sheri Tepper - Jinian 01 - Jinian Footseer

by Jinian Footseer(Lit)

  After that, I would often go off into the woodland to the line of stones that marked the Old Road, shut my eyes, and walk along the roadway, feeling it in my toes. After a time, I was able to run full tilt along the way, never losing it for a moment, rejoicing in the thrumming tingle, a kind of wild, exhilarating feeling which grew wilder and better the faster I ran. When the Season of Storms approached, however, Murzy told me to stay away from the road. `They care not who they trample, chile, or what. Tha or tha pets or tha kin Mendost would all be the same to them.' So I took to hiding in the trees and watching. Sure enough, they began to come running by, bunches and hundreds of them, all running with their hooded heads up, as though in answer to a summons no one but they could hear. If one crept close to the Old South Road City, one could hear them howling - singing, as it were - through the dark. `On the road, the Old Road, a tower made of stone. In the tower hangs a bell which cannot ring alone.' When we jumped rope to that, two would come in at the `cannot ring alone' and jump, counting together, hands on waists. `Shadow bell rings in the dark, Daylight Bell the dawn. In the tower hung the bells, now the tower's gone.' At `gone' one would run out of the rope, leaving it slapping behind, and then to and fro through it, on the swing, as many counts as one could do. That's only one rope tune, of course. There's one about the first Eleven, and one about Larby Lanooly and a dozen more. Now that I am grown, wherever I go in the world, I hear children winging jax tunes or bounce-ball tunes or jumprope tunes, and they are the same in a dozen different tongues, the same all over the world.

  Stories, too. They used to tell me stories, the old dams. Especially Murzy. The one about Little Star and the Daylight Bell. She learned it when she was a girl from an old dam in Betand, but that story is told everywhere. How Little Star went wandering? You remember? And he came to the gobblermole, draggling in the earth. And he asks the gobblemole what he's druggling for, and the mole says, `I'm druggling for the Daylight Bell.' Then when Little Star starts to druggle, too, Mole catches him and binds him up. And Little Star tricks him into getting loose, and binds him up, and demands a boon to let him go again. Remember the story? After the mole, he meets a d'bor wife grodgeling the water, and then a flitchhawk grimbling and grambling the air, and each of them is tricked into a boon. I loved that story. All children do.

  It was soon after the visit to the blind runners that I got sick. Cat Candleshy, one of the dams, said later it was probably some disease the runners had among them that our people had no resistance to. After a day or two of it, with me no better, and the fever burning hotter with each passing hour, old Murzy demanded a Healer be sent for. Through the haze of fever and pain, I remember Mother standing at the foot of my cot, her hair wild and lovely in the light from the window, saying impatiently, `There's no need, Murzemire. She'll get better or she won't, and that's all anyone can expect.' When they had shut the door behind her, Murzy cuddled me tight and said to hold on, she herself was going to Mip for the Healer. It seems she did, going completely on her own and sneaking the Healer back with her. She, the Healer, said she'd been fetched just in time. My lungs wheezed and sucked, and I couldn't get air into them. She put her hands on me and reached down inside - I could feel it - to twist something or untwist it, whichever. It hurt. I remember yelling, partly from the pain, partly from the relief at being able to breathe again.

  She had to do it again, the day after, and it hurt again, but then I began to improve and the Healer merely sat by my bed, telling me stories about bodies. She told me of bones, and how the heart pumps the blood `round, and of the network of nerves from toetop to headtop, with tiny Elators flicking on the network to deliver messages. `Electrical,' she said, shaking her head in wonder at it all, `and chemical. Like lightning.'

  I remember sleepily asking her what they were calle'd, the little Elators. She shook her head, laughing.

  `I call them nerve transmitters,' she said. `You might call them nerve Elators, if you like.' After that, I often thouht of the little Elators in me, swift as storm, carrying their messages between my head and my fingers or toes.

  During my slow recovery, I remembered what

  Mother had said to Murzy. `She'll get better or she

  won't, and that's all anyone can expect.' There was

  nothing unusual in her attitude or tone, neither more

  nor less interest about me than might have been there

  at any time previously. It was just then, every sense

  sharpened by the fever and the pain, that I understood

  the meaning of it. The meaning was, `Jinian will die or she won't, and who cares?'

  I think I cried over this. There's a vague memory of Murzy holding me on her lap in the rocking chair - me, a big girl of nine or ten - as though I were an infant. Later it didn't seem so important. It was just the way things were, as thunder is loud or lightning unselective. No point arguing with the thunder or threatening the lightning. Just seek cover and wait. that's probably how many young ones survive childhood. Seek cover and wait.

  The next thing I remember especially is when Murzy look me on an expedition. All the old dams were going out to pick herbs and fungi, bitty here, bitty there, to last us the cold season when nothing would be growing. Our teacher was off on a trip to visit his relatives up near Harbin. The boys were off into the hills, and when Murzy suggested to Mother I be let go with them, she said, `Oh, take her, Dam Murzy. Take her lor heaven's sake. Now if Garz and Bram would get

  themselves off, we'd have some peace around here.' Considering Mother was the one who usually disturbed whatever peace anyone else might have, I thought this was a bit overstated and started to say so. I hadn't been disrupting anything and was in a mood for considerable self-justification toward this woman who had not even cared whether I died. Murzy, however, caught me by the back of my jerkin and bore me out of the room on a flood of `Thank you, ma'am's. Next thing I knew I was in the wagon with six dams and the horses clattering us off down the road to the forest.

  It's a bit difficult to tell just what happened next, because it was and it wasn't much. We went on for a bit on the road, with the old ones singing the funny song about two lovers in a briar patch and all the odd rhymes to the last line, `And he scratched it!' Then we turned into the forest road and they fell quiet. Three of them got down from the wagon. We came to the forest bridge.

  Forest bridge is a small high wooden one, curving up from one rocky mossy wall to another rocky mossy wall over the tinkly torrents of Stonybrook. There are ferns in the walls, and a cool, wet smell even on hot afternoons. So...

  One old woman, I think it was Tess Tinder-my-hand, whispered something into the air, then set foot on the bridge, stamping her foot", so, just a little. Bridge drummed, bowom. Second old woman whispered, set her foot, bom bom bowom. Third old woman set foot on the bridge, bom bom bowom wommmmm. And then quiet. Horses quiet. Wagon quiet. All the old women quiet, waiting. I crept down from the wagon, bunwit still, sneaky, crept out onto that bridge. Old women set their feet, bom bom bowom wommmm, and just when the echo was starting to come up from below I set my foot down quick, and the echo came wom wom bawom bom bom with a sound of laughter in it. I kept right still then, listening while the laughter

  went on. There was something living down there, under the bridge. Then the old women began singing about Larby Lanooly, and old Murzy shook up the horses to come over the bridge, in a rum-a-rum-a-rum of hooves, and we got back in the wagon and that was that.

  When we came to the groves, though, old Murzy look me by the hand to each of the old women, putting my hand in each one's old hand, saying, `Welcome our sister, our child, for today she begins upon the Way.' When I'd done it with all six of them, she took me aside, speaking to me for the first time without the baby-talk `tha's, as she would to a grown-up person. `Jinian, girl,' she said, `you've the wize-art. In part, at least, and none know whether the whole will come until it comes. Now you must promise me something or the sisters and I'll be gone come night and come not nigh you again
.'

  `Where will you go?' I remember I asked this, more curious about that than about what she might say next.

  `Away,' she said flatly, and I believed her. `Now listen. What we tell you is secret. What we teach you is secret. What you learn from us is secret. You do not talk about it. Not to your mother, not to any in the Demesne. Not to your lover, come that time, or your husband or child, come that time as well. To one of us, yes, if you see the star-eye and hear the proper words. Otherwise, never.'

  Well, I had no lover, that was sure. And I wasn't inclined to tell anyone at the Demesne anything important, nor Mother anything at all, important or not. So I gave her my hand and promised, she putting the little star into it as I did so.

  `Always keep this safe, Jinian. It is a sign to tell any Wize-ard anywhere that you are one of us, a sister in the Way, but most times you don't go dangling it out where the world can see it and ask questions. Long time ago it was called the Eesty sign, and some still call it that. So, if one of us asks are you Wize-ard, or are you star-eye, or do you carry the Eesty sign, it all means the same thing. Do you hear me, Jinian?'

  I said I did. It made Tess's gift more precious than ever, and I took to polishing it every night on my nightgown when I went to bed. However, just then I wanted to know about what had just happened.

  `What was it, there at the bridge?' I asked.

  `Bridge magic, child. Calling up the deep dwellers. One of the ten thousand magics, and not the simplest. We learn a simpler one today, herbary, and see you pay attention.'

  I did my best. I certainly never forgot what they taught me that afternoon. Rainhat root, pounded with the seeds of shivery-green, when the seeds are still in the pod and the root taken on the same day, will bring a sleep no power is proof against - no, not even Healing. `A day, a drop,' said old Tinder-my-hand. `Two days, two drops. Drink a flagon of it, and a man will sleep a year and starve while asleep, for in this sleep he will not swallow nor shit nor pee nor aught but barely breathe, girl.'

  `It sounds... dangerous,' I said.

  `It sounds useful,' she corrected me. `May come a time you'd like Mendost to be asleep for a few days? Well? But never for anything small, girl. We don't use the wize-art for small things.'

  So I learned the formula for sleep, and another very complicated one for making people or creatures fall in love - that one had sixteen ingredients that had to be mixed in the right order and the right quantities - and yet another for reducing temper. Murzy caught my eye and reminded me, `Not for anything small, Jinian. Put that thought right out of your head,' so I stopped thinking of putting it in Mother's tea. Still, it would have been an improvement.

  Herbary isn't really secret. There are books, often not even hidden away, where you can find out about it. So it doesn't matter if I say some things about it. You'll notice I don't tell what the sixteen ingredients are. Murzy says it wouldn't be wize at all. But I can tell the story without telling the truly secret things. Besides, some of them aren't truly secret anymore since the changes.

  After that, I spent a great deal of time with the sisters. Murzy. Tess Tinder-my-hand. Margaret Fox-mitten. Bets Battereye. Cat Candleshy. And Sarah Shadowsox. And Jinian Footseer. Seven of us, which is the usual number. I have talked of them as though they were all equally old, but Tinder-my-hand was oldest, white-haired and frail, forgetful a bit at times and at others so quick it surprised you. Murzy and Bets were next oldest, alike enough to be sisters, both full of bustle and no-nonsense. Cat was dignified and knife sharp, dark hair drawn up in a braid crown. Sarah had wild red-brown hair and eyes like a mountain zeller, all soft caution. They were about middle-aged, I suppose, thirty or so. Margaret Foxmitten was tall and thin as a whip and not much older than Mendost, and she could be more beautiful than Eller when she chose, but there was something forbiddingly elderly about her, for all her soft skin and shining hair. When she sat in the dust of the courtyard, husking fruit or chopping grain, no one would have looked at her twice. It was a kind of disappearing, of invisibility, and Murzy suggested I would do well to learn it. I seemed to be disturbingly visible whenever I was present, and I decided I was just too young to bring it off.

  Time went on. Jeruval got his Talent - I `ve honestly forgotten what it was. Pursuivant, I think. He went off, then, to Game with some Demesne or other until he got tired of it or got killed. Poremy still had a year or so to go before he could expect to get his Talent, if any, and Flot perhaps two years. It comes, usually, around the fifteenth or sixteenth year, though I've been told Witchery comes earlier than that and Sorcery much later. I was about thirteen years old, just getting my breasts and woman-times. That's when Murzy told me to get myself ready for a trip.

  I heard her talking to Mother.

  Overheard.

  Well, listened. It was on a teetery branch of a tall tree outside the tower window, so I guess you couldn't say `overheard'. I just happened to be there. Looking for birds' eggs.

  Murzy was saying, `My oldest sister, ma'am. Not much longer in this life, I shouldn't think, and it would be nice to spend Festival together. So, a couple of the dams and I decided - with your permission, of course, ma'am - we'd go on up to Schooltown and spend a few days with her. I'd be happy to take young Jinian with us, too. Get her off your hands. The girl's got a good heart, but heaven save us, she's always into mischief...'

  Mischief! I was into no such thing, and started to say so, but the branch cracked under me and I decided to be still.

  Mother fingered the crystal she had on a chain around her neck. Mendost had given it to her, and she always wore it. `Children are a trial,' she said. That was nothing new. She often said it, especially to me.

  `They are that, ma'am.' That was new. Murzy always said to me that children are one of life's great joys, so I knew she was up to something. `I think any conscientious mother needs a rest from time to time.'

  `You're right.' Mother sighed. You would have thought from that sigh she didn't have two hundred pawns around to do whatever they were told, plus all the kinfolk, plus Garz and Bram. From that sigh, you'd have thought the whole weight of the Demesne was on her head. `They wanted me to make a Dervish of her, you know, Dam Murzy. I wouldn't do it to a child of mine, but I've wondered since if it wouldn't have been best for her. With her nature and all.'

  `A Dervish? My, my. What a thing that would have been to be sure.' Murzy's voice was all choked. She shook her head, and I tried to think what Mother could possibly have meant by that. `Well, taking the child away may relieve your burdens just a little

  And, of course, Mother said yes. I so admired the way old Murzy did it, I didn't even fuss at her about saying I got up to mischief. I hardly ever did. Mischief, 1 mean. I didn't remember to ask about the Dervish business, either.

  `So why are we really going?' I asked her. `Not just to visit your old sister, I'll warrant.'.

  `I'm very fond of Kate,' she said, somewhat stiffly. `And we will visit her, you may be sure.' `But,' I begged her. `But?'

  `But we're going, at least partly, to continue tha education. And to amuse ourselves. Now, don't ask any more questions. Trust old Murzemire. She hasn't done you wrong yet, has she?'

  She hadn't. Not once. Besides, I wasn't sure I wanted to know why we were going anywhere. Some of the things I already knew were very heavy in my mind from time to time. Having something else in there even heavier didn't attract me. Learning more was merely ordinary to me, but traveling - that was a wonderful treat.

  At least so I thought until we had done some of it. Then it turned out that traveling was doing everything one had to do at home with none of the conveniences for doing it. I was kept very busy gathering wood for the cookfire, and checking the horses' hooves for stones, and rubbing them down and watering them, and arranging the wagon, and washing our clothes in the streams. It is a long way from our Demesne to Schooltown, a long slow way when one travels so as to avoid getting involved in Game on the way. There was nothing interesting on the way but scenery, and by the time we a
rrived I was heartily surfeited with scenery and very glad to see walls once more. We stayed at an inn, thank the Hundred Devils, one owned by sister Kate. She looked nowhere near to dying to me, and she had her own servants to fetch wood and water. As a child of Gamecaste, I thought I would not have to do anything at all. In which I was mistaken. The day after we arrived, all seven of us were back in the wagon going off through Schooltown and into the countryside to an old, tumbly building with moss all over its rocks and its walls gaping up at the sky like teeth. There was a broken tower and steps that wound up and around onto old roofs and down and around into old dungeons. I looked about me doubtfully while the others unloaded their picnic lunch and their work-baskets and then traipsed up the stairs to a comfortable ropm in the tower. It had a fire, cushions to sit on, translucent shutters over the windows, and the six of them sat down there like brood hens, Murzy waving me off. `Explore, Jinian. The whole place. Come back when tha feels hungry.'

  So I did. Up to the roofs and down to the cellars, then below the cellars to the dungeons, old and slimy and full of things that squeaked. It wasn't fearsome, that place, just old. So I wandered it and wandered it, and got tired and went back for a bite of lunch, then wandered it again. Come dark we got in the wagon and went back to the inn. Next day, back to the place again. Murzy and the dams had been teaching me to use my senses, and I used them as best I knew how, but about the third day, I began to be bored with it. `All right,' I said to them all, hands on my hips. `What's it all about?'