by Essa Alroc
Jesse nearly exploded. “I didn’t smash their mailbox!”
Sal giggled and Jesse was a little thrown off by such a girlish sound coming from such a non-girlish person. “I know. It was totally me.” She laughed again. “I went to drop off a wedding present and my hand slipped.” She met his incredulous gaze, looking slightly shamefaced. “I am a terrible driver.”
Jesse shook his head, feeling more than a little annoyed. “Why am I not surprised?”
“Hey, I’m not the one that fucked his wife.”
“Touché.” Jesse tossed a nervous look over his shoulder. “So we’re really going to take on a bunch of angry Ukrainians; just the two of us?”
Sal nodded. “No way am I telling my uncle that I kidnapped a zoo. He was mad enough over the alpaca.” Sal shrugged. “But we’ll sort of have help.”
“Sort of?” Jesse was getting even more nervous.
“Do you want your girlfriend back or not?” Jesse nodded. “Then yes, sort of.” Sal peeked out the window as they pulled up next to a crushed yellow Monte Carlo. “We’re here.”
“Wait, isn’t that the…”
“Yes, it’s the Columbians’ car.” She pointed at the warehouse. “Small-time group. Not affiliated and not locals.”
“And what does that have to do with our current situation?”
“I’m using your situation to fix my situation.” Suddenly, Sal rammed her hand down on the horn of her Chevelle. After a few seconds, several dark-skinned men popped out of the warehouse. Sal rolled down the window. “Hey fuckers, check out my new menagerie!” She slammed on the horn again. Monkeys began whooping. Birds began chirping.
“What the fuck are you doing!”
“Trying to get them to chase us,” Sal announced as she laid on the horn again.
It only took a second for the Columbians to realize what was going on and they began scrambling to get into their own car, a giant brown Escalade. Sal slammed on the gas.
“Remember the gun?”
Jesse sighed and popped open the glove compartment. “You’re fucking nuts; you know that right?”
“Yup,” She nodded at the car in the rearview. “Do not disable their vehicle,” Sal informed him definitely as an Escalade pulled up behind them. “Just keep them interested.”
Jesse leaned out the window and began his second round of gunfire in his second Florida high-speed chase.
***
“Get the fuck off of me, you bastard,” Gabby shrieked as Nick shoved her down on the bed. She squirmed helplessly as Nick pinned her wrists down to the mattress. His face loomed over hers.
“I thought you were good at baby making, Gabrielle,” His voice was mocking and his eyes were amused. “You’re so experienced at it, after all.”
Nick lowered his head to kiss her and Gabrielle pulled back. She flexed her neck and, just as his mouth started to cover hers, head-butted him with all her might.
“Fuck!” Nick jumped up and stumbled backwards away from her. He touched his lip, where blood was starting to well. “When the fuck did you get so vicious?”
“Probably the day I saw my husband murder someone with the same carving knife that I used to cut our Thanksgiving turkey.” Gabby stared him down from the place she was crouched in her marital bed, waiting for his next attack.
“I told you I was sorry about that.” Nick sprung and lunged at her and Gabby rolled away just in time to avoid getting caught.
Gabby backed away as Nick started to stalk her around the bed. “Well that just makes up for everything, then.”
Nick watched her like prey, breathing hard. “You don’t need to concern yourself about business matters. I’ve told you that already.”
“I do when ‘business matters’ involve you murdering someone’s family.” Gabby felt tears prick her eyes as she remembered Luka’s destroyed expression after finding out his children had been murdered. She backed away from Nick as he advanced on her. “How could you do that? How could you kill innocent people? How could you murder Jesse when all he did was give me a ride?”
“He ran over our mailbox,” Nick hissed as he took another step towards her.
Gabby took a deep breath. Nick had her pinned into a corner. “So he deserved to die for that? Did Luka deserve to die like that? Does anyone deserve to die like that? Jesus, Nick, you murdered his family. You killed innocent people for nothing more than business and you expect me to be able to have a family for a man like that?” Gabby shook her head as tears filled her eyes. “I’d rather die. I’d rather die then bring a man into the world that is just like you.”
Nick clenched his fists as he glared at his wife, cowering in the corner. Her words had cut to the bone and he had nothing left. “Then I guess you have to.”
Gabby met his gaze unfeelingly. “It’s about fucking time.”
Then, all hell broke loose.
***
Jesse felt a frisson of excitement when he realized that Sal wasn’t planning on stopping at the gate. For at least 20 minutes, he’d been exchanging gunfire with an Escalade without intentionally disabling it. Then he’d learned why.
They were going to the belly of the beast.
Sal burst through the front gates of Gabby’s gated community, with both a Lincoln Towncar and a brown Escalade hot on their heels. The animals in their car were just coming out of their drugged stupors and the shrieking and whistling was starting to give Jesse a headache.
Jesse tensed as they started to pull up in front of Gabby’s house. Instead of stopping, though, Sal did something he didn’t expect. She drove through the front doors he’d been standing in less than 48 hours before.
The perfect French doors burst open as the Chevelle plowed through them. They weren’t even stopped when Sal shoved open her door and rolled onto the floor. Jesse followed her lead, taking the gun with him. He ducked his head at the Columbians followed them in, their own gunfire and the debris from the crash making the air thick and smoky.
He looked around. Everything was slightly grey with the din of dust and gun smoke in the air. Sal crab walked her way to the driver’s side of the door, using the car as cover. Jesse fired blindly, not caring if he was hitting anything, just wanting to keep up the chaos.
Nick hadn’t been expecting a full frontal attack, or any attack at all, for that matter. None of his underlings had been in residence at the time and he was pretty sure Grigor had opted to park his car, rather then drive it into the house. Jesse and Sal were crouched beside her car. Men swearing in Spanish fired gunshots at them and they were seriously outnumbered. The Columbians were quickly winning the fight and Jesse wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.
“Ok,” Sal smiled, even though she was breathing hard. “I imagine Anastasia is good and pissed now.” Keeping low, she moved to her Chevelle and yanked a lever next to the driver’s seat of the car, popping open the truck. Jesse waited for a second, thinking that the tiger had been killed in the crash. Just as he was starting to get worried, the lid flew up and about 240 pounds of seriously furious tiger shot out of the trunk.
The Spanish swears quickly turned to prayers. The tiger focused on one of the smaller men in the group and lunged. They heard a collective scream as all the Columbians scattered at once, some disappearing into the house while one jumped in the Escalade and reversed out of the house and down the street, his screeching tires audible even above the commotion inside. Sal turned a mischievous smile to Jesse.
“I think it’s time to go get your girl. I’ll handle things down here.”
Jesse didn’t need to be told twice.
***
Gabby backed up against the far wall, flinching as her husband repeatedly kicked the bathroom door, trying to break it down. She’d taken the commotion downstairs as an opportunity to run, but the farthest she had gotten was her and Nick’s bathroom, where she had slammed the heavy oak door and locked it behind her.
She didn’t know what was going on. Through the door and Nick’
s furious kicks, she could hear the muffled sound of something that sounded like gun fire and endless crashing. She absently wondered what was going on. The world outside her luxury bathroom sounded like Armageddon. Nick kicked the door again and she flinched. As stoic as she had been earlier, she wasn’t looking forward to the pain he would inflict on her. Especially now that she knew what he’d done to Jesse. Her sacrifice had been in vain. Her eyes filled with tears and she forced herself to blink them away. Instead, as Nick gave the door another kick that came dangerously close to breaking it down, Gabby began to scour the room for a weapon. She spied one thing she might be able to use in the soap dish of the shower. A tiny, purple razor. She was just wrapping her hand around the plastic handle when the wood of the door jam finally gave in and burst open.
Gabby spun and watched Nick with wide eyes as he advanced on her. She clutched her razor in a shaking hand and cowered away as he moved towards her.
His eyes were full of fury. “Not so fearless now, are you, you little bitch?” Suddenly, he was on top of her, his hand squeezing her throat. Gabby gasped for air and, in desperation, lashed out with the razor. Nick let out a howl of pain and released her, causing Gabby to slide to the floor. His hand was clutched over his eye and he was bleeding.
Gabby didn’t waste time; she raced past her husband, through the broken shards of the door and let out a scream as she crashed into a broad masculine chest.
“Gabby?” Jesse clutched her upper arms and pulled her back a bit so he could look at her. “Are you ok?”
Gabby could barely speak. She stared up at Jesse in wonder. “You’re alive.”
“Just barely, but a bit heartbroken.” Jesse’s dark eyes focused on hers. “Why’d you take off on me?”
“Jesse, I…”
“Well isn’t this sweet.” They both spun to where Nick was coming out of the bathroom, kicking the ruble of the door out of his way, a large gash under his right eye streaming blood. “Your little boyfriend showed up to die with you.” Nick took a menacing step towards them and Jesse shoved Gabby behind him.
“Stay the hell away from her.”
Nick smirked. “I don’t need to worry about her. Grigor can take care of her when he gets here.” Nick cracked his knuckles and took a step forward. “You, I can handle myself. It’s the least I owe you for stealing my wife,” Nick took another step, “and running over my mailbox.”
Jesse’s eyes flashed in rage. He pushed Gabby back out of the line of fire and met Nick’s angry gaze dead-on. “I might have stolen your wife, but I did not run over your mailbox.” He lunged at Nick, throwing a punch that caught him square in the jaw and made his head snap back. Nick swore and threw one back and, soon, they were grappling and Jesse was starting to realize he was pretty evenly matched.
Jesse had been trained by six months of prize fighting in the ring and his hits were clean and focused. Nick had been trained on the streets of the Ukraine and his fighting style was street-taught and vicious. Jesse jumped back just in time to avoid a knee to the balls and caught another punch in the face for his efforts. He feinted a right, which Nick easily blocked, and while he was distracted, nailed him in the stomach.
Nick grunted and doubled over, shoving his way back. He stumbled his way to the nightstand near the bed and Jesse took a look at Gabby, hovering behind him nervously.
“Enough of this,” Nick grunted. He ripped open the drawer, and pulled out a gun.
“Gabby, get the hell out of here.” Jesse cursed himself for leaving his own gun downstairs with Sal. Of course, she was fighting a large group of angry Columbians…and a zoo full of animals, but still.
“I’m not leaving you, Jesse.”
Jesse sighed over her stubbornness, starting to walk backwards out of the room. She struggled to get around him, but he wouldn’t let her.
Nick gave a cruel smile as he backed them into the hallway. “It’s ok; I have enough bullets for both of you.”
Gabby’s back hit the railing of the stairs and they were forced to stop. She wrapped her arms around Jesse’s waist, waiting for the bullet. Then she heard a growl.
“Is that a tiger?” Gabby noticed at the same time Nick and Jesse did. It was surreal. A large orange tiger sat in her upstairs hallway. “Nobody move,” She whispered breathlessly. “If you run, it will think you’re prey. Just hold still.”
Jesse listened. He slipped his hand over hers and squeezed tightly.
Nick didn’t. Instead, he turned the gun on the tiger and fired a shot. He missed by a mile and only succeeded in pissing it off. Then, Nick panicked and did the worst possible thing in the world he could have.
He turned his back and ran. The confused beast was immediately in predator mode, focusing its angry eyes on Nick’s back. It was on him in only a few leaps, sinking its teeth into his neck.
Gabby held in her horrified scream as she watched her husband getting mauled by a tiger in her upstairs hallway. The blood spurted and, despite the hatred she felt for her husband, she hoped he died on the first bite. He was limp, flopping around as the tiger attacked him and she could only assume he was dead. Gabby began to pull Jesse with her, tugging him towards the stairs. They both backed down quietly and, for the first time, Gabby noticed the bedlam that was going on in the place she’d once called home.
“What the hell?” She gasped as she looked around the room. There were monkeys hanging from her chandelier, birds perched at various points in her house, and what appeared to be a terrified Columbian man peeking out from behind her curtains. The biggest change was the fact that the front wall of her foyer was gone. It had been replaced by a very familiar purple Chevelle.
Jesse smiled wryly. “As you can probably tell, I went to Sal for help when I found out you were gone.”
“You went to Sal?” Gabby turned to Jesse with shock on her face. “You? I thought you thought she was insane”
“She is insane,” Jesse emphasized as he wrapped his arms around Gabby, “but I would have gone to Satan if it meant helping you.”
Gabby tried to pull back. “I think you might be taking this guilt thing a bit too far.”
“Gabby…” Jesse didn’t get time to finish his sentence because Sal came screaming out of the kitchen, Grigor hot on her heels.
“Rot in hell, you Ukrainian bastard. The Ukraine is nothing more than generic Russia!” Sal let out a laugh and fired in Grigor’s general direction, jumping and sliding over the hood of her Chevelle. Grigor stopped mid-chase, frozen in shock to see Jesse still alive.
“Pool boy,” he hissed, starting to march his way up the stairs.
Jesse shook his head in confusion as he prepared to do battle with Grigor. “Why does everyone keep calling me that?”
Gabby gave Jesse a once over. “You do look a little like our pool boy.”
“Really?”
Gabby nodded, “Older though. And cuter.”
“Enough!” Grigor’s shout brought them back to their predicament. Jesse started to shove Gabby behind him again, preparing for another fight. Then, Grigor’s ascent was paused by the arrival of a new party. The hiding Hispanic man had seen him, knowing the threat of the tiger was gone, and come out from behind the curtains.
“Ukrainian,” the man hissed as he came out from behind the curtains, “It was you who is stealing the animals from our operations.”
From somewhere beside the Chevelle, Gabby could swear she heard Sal giggle.
Grigor spun, seeming to notice the Columbians in the house for the first time. “What are you talking about?”
Sal popped up from where she was hiding behind the Chevelle. “Hey Grigor,” she had put down her gun and picked up something much bigger. “Here’s that snake you told me to steal.” She held the snake up over her head. Then, suddenly, almost in slow motion, she tossed it in his direction.
Grigor let out a girlish squeal and ducked, but he was too slow. The pissed off snake wrapped its body around his upper shoulders and began hissing and spit
ting, lashing out to bite him in the face. Grigor began running around in a panic, trying to dislodge the snake, but the more he panicked, the tighter the snake wrapped itself around him and the more it bit. He stumbled and fell to the floor, gasping and choking as the boa constrictor tightened its grip.
“Well,” Sal brushed herself off and walked around the car, “That takes care of him.” She started to walk towards Gabby and Jesse when the last standing Columbian raised his gun.
“You pay for this, puta.” Sal turned and her eyes widened. She’d left her gun on the floor and kept her face focused on the Columbians. Suddenly, there was a loud, keening wail and just as the man was squeezing the trigger, a green glob of goo hit him in the face. The man let out a disgusted shout and reached up to cover his face. “What the hell?”
“Nicely done, Russell,” Sal shouted as she dropped to the ground for her gun. Seconds later, she popped up by the driver’s side of her car and Gabby managed to close her eyes just in time to avoid watching her put a neat hole right in the center of the man’s head.
Gabby appraised the room. There was a car parked in her foyer, a dead man wearing a snake necktie at the foot of her stairs and a tiger eating her husband. “What the hell?”
Sal gave her a charming smile. “We should probably get our stories straight before the cops get here.”
***
Gabby sat in the passenger seat of Jesse’s jeep as they rode over to the Strangely Sober. The police had closed off her house as part of an ongoing investigation.
During the three hours of questions, Gabby had played stupid. She’d claimed no knowledge of her husband’s criminal enterprise and the detectives had apparently bought it. She’d alleged that she’d been hiding in the attic the whole time.
Neither Jesse nor Sal’s name had come up. Instead, the police determined that her husband had been attacked by a small organized crime syndicate, after they’d determined that Nick was butting into their animal/diamond smuggling business. Animal control was called in to take care of a large group of animals, including several rare birds, monkeys, a tiger and a medium-sized boa constrictor.