I didn’t knock. Insanity wielded my limbs and banished all clarity and there couldn’t be a closed door between us. Isadora whirled to see me, wrenching the dress she’d half-removed back over her legs. ‘What are you doing? Get out!’
‘I’m sorry. I just …’ I was having trouble breathing. My face felt flushed, feverish; my eyes were struggling to focus. There was too much horror here and I didn’t know how I was supposed to fix any of it and it plagued my thoughts but I still couldn’t stop looking at her and thinking about her and wanting to touch her and how sickening that felt in my guts –
‘Falco,’ she said softly.
‘I can’t take this. It’s been one night and it’s already sending me mad. Your nearness … and I can’t touch you … It doesn’t feel right.’
She swallowed. Met my eyes. There was an impossible, glittering, burning thing between us, connecting us, tugging my heart to hers and all I wanted was for our skin to touch. I wanted to run the bath for her and undress her from that filthy white dress, to wash her skin of the blood, and all that tint that made her look unlike herself.
I saw her forcibly don a cloak of calm. I wanted to rip her free of it, of all that fucking calm. But then, what did I wear, if not a dozen cloaks all too similar?
Amidst the bodies of twelve dead warders there’d been a crack in the calm. She’d been right on the edge of a mighty precipice, and I would never forget the terror she couldn’t hide from me.
It’s not real, she thought now, unafraid, and I caught it, the gentle whisper of her mind inside mine. I nodded. She was right. Of course she was right. She was able to see through the illusion, even when I wasn’t.
I went to the door and it was as though I had to step out of my body to get there. ‘Why did you do that to yourself?’
She frowned.
‘Your hair and skin.’
A funny expression passed her gaze and I realised it was bitterness. ‘To be beautiful.’
My eyes widened. ‘It’s not beautiful. It’s false.’
She smiled. The first smile I’d seen her give. It was rare and sweet and slow, like the gently falling leaves of autumn. ‘And this from the master of disguise himself,’ she murmured, amused and a little mocking. But her eyes shifted to brilliant, glittering gold, and mine followed.
A groan left me and I hauled myself from the washroom, slamming the door behind me. I kept my eyes squeezed shut as I rested my forehead on the door. My fists clenched painfully: I could feel her on the other side.
Shift, I bid my eyes. But I could feel them and they were still so gold.
‘Falco?’ Ava’s voice came out of the darkness.
I didn’t look at her, couldn’t let her see the truth.
‘Be careful,’ she murmured. ‘Your flights of fancy will hurt her.’
A weary smile found my lips and I looked at my cousin, eyes normal once more. ‘I’m always careful.’
But it was abruptly, painfully, clear how little anyone in this world knew me. Clear, also, how little they knew Isadora the Sparrow, if anyone thought she was capable of being hurt by flights of fancy.
Isadora
I sent him from the bathroom because he was Emperor of our nation and he hadn’t freed Sanra from its subjugation – even in twenty years of peace, he had been too weak to do this simplest of things and change the lives of thousands. I sent him out because he’d fled this city when it was overrun with warders and left his people here to struggle alone. Because he and I had been born enemies, and I’d spent most of my life seeking a way to kill him. Because he had always been a coward, in every sense of the word.
I sent him from the bathroom because of all these things.
And none.
Together in the confined space I imagined his hands on my body. I imagined fingers and lips and eyelids and heartbeats, and the two of us diving below the lake’s surface to discover what lay beneath, as mysterious to me as it was to him. It was a cruel kind of magic that sent those thoughts into my head and my skin, it was a maddening kind of magic. But it wasn’t why I sent him away.
The real reason was simple. It was shame.
I had murdered the woman Falco loved. And it had been a love that was true. Not a farce, not forced upon him, but chosen freely. For that my punishment would be this: the Emperor of Kaya would be the first and only soul in all the world to hate his bondmate.
It was a lucky thing, I supposed, that I had the ability to hate him even more. As I went to the bath and scrubbed my body clean of the blood and the colouring potions, I pulled that hatred around me like the feathered cloak of the goddess, protective and strong. It would be my armour, just like the cloak I wore for calm.
The only problem with this plan – with this garment I’d fashioned – was that small moment of defiance. Of selflessness. As he prepared to rush down that street and face those warders outside the temple, I’d seen again the undeniable truth I’d first glimpsed on the night we bonded: Falco was no coward.
Ava
I remained out of the way as the chaos of night meal began. With eleven adults and a baby in one very small house, it was a shambles. Falco had announced that our party would find our own food, as we had yet to contribute to the ration chits by working. This was met with a scoff and a giggle, and then completely ignored.
‘The Emperor comes to dinner and expects us not to feed him,’ Elias grinned with a shake of his head. ‘Sit down, Majesty. You can help us with the food problem tomorrow.’
We ate heavy damper and drank water. If Falco was unused to the simplicity of such food, he was graceful enough to hide it, praising the cooks with a flamboyant extravagance that made them laugh.
After I’d witnessed him following her into the washroom this morning, I watched my cousin with the tiny pale creature, the albino we’d met in the palace. She was a strange thing, mostly silent, extremely solemn. I couldn’t read a single expression in her face or in her unchanging blood-eyes. But I could see that he and she watched each other when they thought no one would notice.
As everyone bedded down for the night, squashed anywhere there was floor space, I noticed Finn was nowhere to be seen. Falco and I were given the baby’s room, in which had been placed two cots. It was easier to accept the offer than to make everyone uncomfortable with our presence. I didn’t retire yet, but wandered outside to look for Finn.
Her twin, Jonah, was on watch duty, and pointed to the roof. ‘She likes to be up high,’ he said with a shrug. I nodded – I knew well of Finn’s love of rooftops. As I passed him I stole a look at the boy who was so much like his sister. It made me think, inevitably, of my own twin children, and all the things inside me tightened unbearably.
I scaled the outside of the building, grappling with the vines. I’d well and truly had enough of climbing by the time I reached the top. Finn was sitting on the flat roof, legs dangling over the edge. She flashed me a smile as I perched beside her, but neither of us spoke for a time.
‘It’s physical pain,’ she murmured with a laugh of disbelief. Missing her bondmate. ‘I don’t think I was prepared for it.’
‘There’s no way to be.’
‘Are you able to speak with Ambrose?’
I shook my head. Some bonded couples could communicate mentally. There was no way to predict who would be able to and who wouldn’t. It seemed random, though some believed it was a skill that could be learned. ‘I could with Avery, but not with Ambrose. You?’
‘No. Not at this distance. But I can feel him still. I can feel him missing me as I miss him. It feels sort of … cruel, to feel twice the pain.’
‘Do you ever consider ending it? Breaking your bond?’ She and Thorne had discovered that the ability lay in his blood, her magic and their bond, but we hadn’t told anyone yet – there would be widespread chaos when the Kayan people found out, and they had more than enough to deal with at the moment.
Finn shook her head vehemently. ‘I’d rather die.’
I lay back against the roof and w
atched the stars. On a whim, I asked, ‘Have Falco and Isadora met before?’
‘Just last night in the palace. Why?’
‘How did he recognise her as a friend then? And vice versa?’
I could almost hear Finn frowning. ‘I don’t know. I didn’t think about it. What are you …?’
‘It just occurred to me as curious, is all. Him sprinting into the palace and stumbling upon a girl covered in blood.’
‘I’m sorry to say that Isadora being covered in blood doesn’t particularly surprise me. And Falco was helping her.’
‘But how did he know?’
‘He … I don’t know.’
‘How do you know her?’
‘We met her last year on our way to the tournament.’
‘How?’
‘She helped us, one night when Thorne went beast. She’s saved my life many times, Ava. She’s a friend.’
I shrugged and nodded. But a suspicious thing inside me was bidding me to be wary.
Finn lay back beside me. ‘Do you think he can do it? Free us?’
‘Do you?’
‘He can’t fight, can’t use magic and nobody listens to what he says because it’s mostly idiotic. So the answer should be easy. But …’ Finn paused. ‘I’m not so sure.’
‘Perhaps his age is finally catching up to him.’
‘Or maybe he was never what he seemed.’
‘What do you mean?’
She shrugged. ‘I’m not sure. It’s just … when he and I first met I touched his skin, and I felt this sort of throbbing, dark, ancient thing. And I just …’ She shook her head. ‘I guess it didn’t feel like something that would belong in a feckless wimp.’
We pondered for a while, and eventually I murmured, ‘People wear many faces. I think our Emperor holds more secrets than we might imagine.’
I thought of Isadora and knew the same to be true of her. Which was exactly why I was going to keep an eye on her.
Thorne
Snow crunched underfoot as I jogged. Ella and Sadie were riding inside the carriage with Ma, while Ambrose had taken over driving. Snow-covered hills sloped before us, kissed by sparkling sunlight. To our right snaked a river, its surface coated in a fine layer of ice. Howl had run ahead to scout the way, following the scent of a winter hare as it scampered into a rabbit’s warren. He growled at the mouth of it for a few moments, then gave up and loped cheerfully through the snow to my side.
‘Spar at lunch?’ I asked Ambrose.
He smiled crookedly. ‘Or we could play at some dice instead. Talk a little.’
I frowned, surprised. It was the first time I could ever recall the king turning down a wrestle. ‘Are you well, uncle?’ I asked.
Ambrose chuckled. ‘Aye, boy. Lately I just grow bored of fighting.’
My eyebrows arched but I didn’t press the matter. It was a curious thing for him to say, and I wondered where it came from. Growing bored of a thing that kept you and your family alive seemed dangerous to me.
Ambrose called a halt so he could water the horses by the river while we had something to eat. I poked my head into the back of the carriage. ‘Alright in here, ladies?’ Ma was braiding Ella’s hair while Sadie read aloud to them from a book she’d brought. Cushions and swathes of fur lined every surface for warmth and comfort. ‘It’s very cosy in here.’
‘It’s hot,’ Ella replied wanly. I caught a look at her cheeks and saw how flushed she was, then reached in to touch the girl’s forehead.
‘She’s really warm, Ma.’
Ma nodded, giving me a pointed look to say no more. ‘Some fresh air is all she needs.’
‘I’m reading to make her feel better,’ Sadie informed me.
Ma finished braiding Ella’s hair up off her sweaty neck. I helped them climb out and watched as Ella sighed in relief to have the frigid air on her skin.
‘Sword, it’s freezing!’ Sadie exclaimed.
I laid out a quilt for them to sit on to have their midday meal. Ma fed Ella a drink with herbs of some kind, and I had no doubt it would break the poor little one’s fever.
I walked over to where Ambrose crouched by the river, capturing water in our canteens. ‘Ella has a fever. Ma’s taking care of it but we need to reach Norvjisk by nightfall.’
Ambrose passed me the canteens to finish while he went to his daughter. ‘Are you not feeling well, darling?’
‘She was just hot. She’s fine now,’ Sadie said protectively.
Abruptly, Howl starting barking and I shot to my feet, peering ahead to see what the problem was.
‘Howl!’ Sadie called sternly.
His bark deepened, signaling danger. I was running before anyone had a chance to respond, already drawing my axe from my back. Over a crest in the road was another travelling party. They’d paused before the barking dog, peering beyond him to spot my approach. The sun was behind me, making it difficult for them to see, while I could observe them well. Five in all, three young women and two men, all mounted on weary horses. And all Kayan, by the looks of their size and colouring.
‘Greetings,’ one of the women called.
I lifted a hand, but remained a fair distance. Something about Howl’s unease was creeping into my own bones. He didn’t mistrust people as a rule, so their scent was disturbing him. In fact, I’d caught a whiff of something rotten too.
‘Greetings. What brings you to these parts?’
‘We’re on route to the fortress,’ the same woman replied. She was the oldest and had her blond hair tied into several braids. ‘We’ve heard Kayans are welcome there.’
‘They are,’ I agreed. ‘But how did you come to be north of the fortress?’
‘We got lost,’ one of the men answered bluntly. He wasn’t scared of me – none of them were, which was interesting. It was also interesting that they seemed to be lying. The road from Kaya was clear and straightforward, and led directly to the fortress.
‘We didn’t travel the road,’ the Kayan woman told me as if she had read my thoughts, and perhaps she had. ‘We were much further south when we made for Pirenti. We were forced to go through Yurtt.’
All that was south of Yurtt was deep forest and the warder prison. I glanced behind me, but Ambrose and Rose had cleverly remained out of sight with the girls. ‘What business do you have here?’ I asked.
‘None we wish to share with a stranger,’ the man said.
Howl growled low in his throat, sensing the tension. I took a deep breath through my nose, wanting to understand where my unease was stemming from. And then I had it. ‘You’re warders.’ Not finished their training, by the looks of them – their hair and eyes still held their colour, and the scent of their magic was subtle.
‘No,’ the woman said quickly, and now I caught a whiff of wafting fear. ‘Not yet, and not … not like the others.’
‘I’ll ask you once more, before my patience runs out. What are five warders in training doing on a road in the north of Pirenti?’
‘We’re on a quest for our Empress.’
‘Which Empress would that be? The rightful one was slain.’
‘She sent us before Kaya’s fall. We would finish what we were asked to do.’
Dread filled my guts and I gripped my axe tighter. ‘What quest?’
‘To find the end to the bond.’
So this was another of the groups who’d made it through Falco and Quillane’s tournament last year. I forced myself to remain calm, even to give them a smile. ‘A noble quest, then. Can I offer you aid?’
They glanced at each other. The three women dismounted their horses, but the men stayed atop theirs.
Before Finn had discovered that I wielded the power to end the bond through our connection and her soul magic, we had believed that the bond’s end would come from twin faces born of both lands – presumably the royal princesses. If these warders possessed the same clues, then they would almost certainly have come to the same assumption. Which meant they were after the twins. I prayed Ambrose would keep them
out of sight.
‘What draws you to the fortress?’ I pressed, keeping my tone light.
‘Information,’ the man said.
‘We would speak to the King, and ask permission to meet his daughters,’ the woman agreed. ‘Do you have any knowledge of him? Most say he is a reasonable man.’
It was true then. They were after Ella and Sadie.
Abruptly my da was standing beside me. Voice flat, he said, ‘Kill them. Kill them all, right now.’
I swallowed, my heart beating quickly. To the warders I said, ‘He is a reasonable man, less so when it comes to his children.’
‘We bring no threat,’ the man said, but I could smell the lie. They’d do whatever they believed necessary to use the princesses.
My beast and I grew hot; the flames of threat, danger, fury, kill. But could I kill five innocent young people, searching for the very thing I myself had searched for six months ago? Aside from the moral question, would I even be able to? They were warders, after all, and there were five of them.
‘Whelps,’ Da growled. ‘Children. Easy.’
I drew an uncertain breath, then heard approaching hoofbeats. Ambrose arrived on his stallion, regal with the sun silhouetting him from behind. ‘Weapon down,’ he ordered me. To the warders he said, ‘The world has changed. Your quest is void. Go home.’
‘We take orders from Falco of Kaya now,’ the woman said.
‘And your other masters? The traitors and murderers and corrupt usurpers? Do you do as they say?’
‘Never,’ the man burst out.
‘Falco of Kaya is in no place to give you orders, but if he were, he would order you from this path.’
‘And what would you know, Pirenti pig?’ one of the other women snarled, one who had been silent until now. She was little more than a child, with pale-orange hair.
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