by SJ McCoy
Nate shook his head. “She kicked me out. She didn’t want to cuddle or anything!”
Pete sniggered, then held a hand up. “Sorry, Nate. I’m not unsympathetic, but this is priceless!” He exchanged a grin with Jack.
Nate gave them a rueful smile. “Okay, okay. I can’t believe I just said that either.” He looked at Jack. “So, you’re saying she might like me, but she doesn’t want to put me under any pressure, so she’s playing it casual?”
Jack nodded. “I think she does like you. But look at it from her point of view. You sleep around. You’re always trying to get away from some woman who wants more than you do. She likes you; you finally sleep together. You couldn’t blame her for thinking that, to you, it’s just a one-off sex thing. Why would she put herself on the line and tell you she wants more than that? It would just make things awkward between you. She’d face rejection, and you’d face pressure for something you don’t want to give.”
Nate thought about it.
“All he’s saying is that she might be doing exactly the same as you are,” said Pete. Nate looked at him. “You’re not saying you want to take things any further because you don’t think she does.”
Jack nodded.
“So …” Nate’s head was spinning. “So, what do I do?”
“The way I see it, you have two choices,” said Jack. “You can tell her that you want more—”
“I can’t. That’d be putting her under pressure.”
“And setting yourself up for possible rejection.” Pete gave him a knowing smile.
“Then you go with your other choice which is to forget about it,” said Jack.
“But …” Nate liked that option even less.
Pete stood up. “He’s right, you know.”
Jack got up and joined Pete at the door. “You know I am. It’s time to put up or shut up.”
They both grinned at him. “So, are you coming to the Boathouse, or not?”
Nate shut down his computer. “Yep. I’ll see you there.”
~ ~ ~
Lily pulled up a seat at the bar and smiled at Kenzie.
“Hey, what can I get you?”
“I’ll take an orange juice.”
Kenzie raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, okay. With vodka in it.”
“That’s more like it. You look like a woman who needs a drink.”
“I do?” Lily wondered what kind of look she had about her that made Kenzie think that.
“Yeah, you look stressed. Did you figure out what you’re going to do next weekend?”
Lily made a face. “I think I’m going to get out of it somehow. It’s bad enough having to listen to how I can’t find myself a man. Now I’m either going to have to break up with my imaginary boyfriend or make some excuse as to why he’s not there.”
“I thought you were going to take Nate?”
Lily shrugged. She hadn’t seen Nate since he left her place the other night. She thought he was probably avoiding her. Or at least he would be if she gave him the opportunity. She hadn’t left the barn since then. It was just easier that way. She’d started to feel a little claustrophobic though and had decided to bring herself out for dinner. She figured she’d be safe. He wouldn’t be out this early on a week night.
Kenzie put her drink in front of her. “You should take him. You two make a great couple.”
Lily choked on her drink. “Don’t be ridiculous!”
“What? You do! He’s obviously nuts about you. I just think it’s so cool; when guys like him fall, they fall hard.” Kenzie smiled to herself. “Like Eddie with April and Chase with me and Smoke and Laura. The guys who’ve been the biggest womanizers turn out to be the biggest puppy dogs when they meet the right woman.”
Lily shook her head. “I agree with you on all but one point. Nate is not like Chase and the others—at least not yet. He hasn’t found the right woman, and he certainly doesn’t think it’s me.”
Kenzie laughed. “You’re kidding me? You don’t know it yet?”
Lily shook her head. “I don’t know what?”
“That the guy’s nuts about you. That you’ve got his head turned so far around he’s meeting himself coming back?”
“I think you’re the one who’s nuts, Kenzie.”
Kenzie laughed again. “We’ll see. I won’t say anything and embarrass either of you, but while you’re having dinner, just watch him, listen to what he says, and ask yourself if I might not be right.”
Lily frowned. “I’m not having dinner with him, I’m …” She followed Kenzie’s gaze as she waved and smiled. There he was. Nate was coming toward the bar with Jack and Pete. Her heart leaped and began to pound in her chest. She felt a rush of heat in her cheeks—and between her legs as memories of the other night flashed through her mind. He stopped dead when he saw her. Oh, no. He was probably wondering how he could make his escape. She should get out of here and leave him to it. He was with his friends.
He did a good job of covering up. He met her gaze with an amazingly genuine looking smile. “Hi, Lil.”
How she wished he really was that pleased to see her. Warmth and happiness washed through her, even though she knew he was just being pleasant because he had no other choice. She smiled back, glad she didn’t need to fake the sincerity in her voice. “Hey, Nate. Good to see you.”
Pete gave her that quirky smile of his. “Can I ask you a big favor, Lily?”
She nodded, wondering what it might be. Pete had that look about him that said he was up to something. “Would you mind taking charge of Nate for a while? Jack and I need to talk about a couple of things.” He smirked at Nate. “We’d let him tag along, but it’d be easier to palm him off onto you.”
The look on Nate’s face told her he was as blindsided by the request as she was. She could hardly say no, though. Maybe she could claim she was just leaving and make a hasty retreat. It wasn’t as though Nate needed to be kept company—he was quite capable of making new friends with any of the single women who happened to be here. She shrugged. “Sure.” Then she looked at Nate. “You don’t exactly need a babysitter, do you?” She half expected him to agree with her. He could stick with Pete and Jack or make his excuses and leave. He didn’t have to be put on the spot to hang out with her.
To her surprise, he smiled. “No, but it’d be nice to have dinner together.” He made a face at Pete. “I wasn’t exactly looking forward to listening to these two anyway.”
“Table for two then?” Kenzie grinned at them and picked up two menus. Lily would have thought she was talking to Jack and Pete if she hadn’t picked up her vodka and orange juice before coming out from the bar and pulling her down from her stool. “Follow me.”
Lily looked back over her shoulder as Kenzie led them toward a corner booth. Jack and Pete were grinning after them, and her heart sank. Maybe they were playing some joke on Nate. Maybe he’d told them what had happened the other night and they were making him squirm by having to hang out with her again. She took her seat opposite him and busied herself with the menu while Nate ordered his drink.
Once Kenzie had gone, he sat there and stared at her. She could feel his gaze on her, even while she pretended to read the menu intently. “What?” she asked without looking up.
“I’m just looking. Can’t a guy look at the most beautiful girl in the room without having to explain himself?”
Now she did look up. “Come on, Nate. This is me you’re talking to. Just because we had sex, it doesn’t mean you need to start talking to me like one of your conquests.”
His smile faded. “I wasn’t. It wasn’t a line, Lil. I mean it. You’re beautiful.”
She blew out a sigh. “Don’t make this more uncomfortable than it already is.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want it to be uncomfortable. I don’t want anything to change between us.” The lines around his eyes, lines she’d never noticed before, were etched with concern. They made him look older, more real—and even more attractive.
“
Then let’s not change anything,” she gave him the brightest smile she could muster. “Let’s just get back to being friends, can we?”
He nodded, but he didn’t look very comfortable with the idea. Maybe he didn’t even want to be her friend anymore? She hated that idea. It was bad enough that he’d slept with her and thought nothing more of it, but she could live with that. She wasn’t losing anything; in fact, she’d gained something—one wonderful time that she would never forget. But she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him as a friend. That’d be awful.
His next words took her breath away. “We can just get back to being friends if that’s what you want. But it’s not what I want.”
She sucked in a deep breath. She wasn’t going to cry. She was a grown woman; she was strong and she was smart and …
“I told you already. I want us to be more than friends.”
She stared at him, unable to process what he meant.
“Don’t you?”
She didn’t know what to say because she wasn’t sure she understood the question.
He looked worried now. “I’m sorry, Lil. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Just because we … you know. I mean, I shouldn’t expect that you might … If anyone knows that sex doesn’t necessarily translate to anything more than that, it’s me … but …”
“You shouldn’t expect that I might what?”
He looked deep into her eyes. “Might want to … I don’t know what the words are. Be … Try …”
She raised an eyebrow. Was he saying what she thought he was? “Do it again?”
For a moment, he looked shocked. Then he grinned. “Yeah, if you want to?”
Her heart was hammering in her chest. Of course she wanted to. She’d relived the memory of the other night so many times already, she was in danger of wearing it out. She nodded slowly. It was probably the worst mistake she could make, but yes, she did want to do it again. And surely that would be better than awkwardly staying out of each other’s way? Better in the short term at least, even if it might break her heart in the long run.
“You want to?”
She couldn’t quite figure out the look on his face. Was he excited or disappointed? It looked to Lily like he was a little of both. “I do,” she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. Right or wrong, stupid or not, she did want to sleep with him again.
Chapter Seven
While they ate, Nate kept checking Lily’s expression. He wanted to know what she was thinking, what she was feeling. He didn’t know what to think or feel himself. When they’d first sat down, he’d decided to ask her if she wanted to go for something more with him. But that was a dumb expression. He hadn’t known what words to use. Do you want to be more than friends? That could be interpreted many ways, and he’d been afraid that she’d think he was just asking for a friends-with-benefits thing. Do you want to be my girlfriend? That sounded too childish to him, even if it was what he really wanted. While he’d been stammering around trying to find the right words, she’d thought he was simply asking her to sleep with him again. He shouldn’t be too surprised. It was what he was known for, after all. If anything, he was surprised at her. It wasn’t her style—and that wasn’t just his imagination. She’d admitted herself that she hadn’t had sex at all in a very long time.
She looked up at him as she put her fork down. “What’s up? Have you changed your mind?”
He shook his head rapidly. “Hell, no. I’m just hoping you don’t.”
The hint of a smile touched her lips. “You’ve got no worries there. It’s not like I’d just go and find someone else instead.”
That hurt, even though it shouldn’t. She was implying that he would. But that was only because she didn’t understand what she meant to him. She didn’t understand that this was different. She was different. “I wouldn’t either, Lil. I’ve told you before; you’re the best.”
A hint of pink touched her cheeks. “Yeah, I’m the best friend, good old dependable Lily.”
He grinned and shook his head. “Nu-uh. Although, you are a great friend. I’m saying you’re the best …”
He felt a hand come down on his shoulder. “Hey. It’s good to see you two out together again. Is it for real this time?”
He turned to look up at Ben. Normally he loved the guy, but right now he wished he’d disappear. “It is,” he replied. If he couldn’t find the right words to tell Lily, maybe she’d understand what he meant when she heard him tell Ben. “We’re out on a dinner date. Isn’t that right, Lil?” He took her hand as he turned back to her. For a moment, he thought she was about to shoot him down, and he braced himself. It didn’t come.
She smiled at Ben. “It certainly looks that way, doesn’t it?”
Ben smiled back at her. “It does, and I’m happy to see it. I’ll leave you to it.” He grinned at Nate and then walked away.
“Why did you say that?” asked Lily when he’d gone.
“Because I’d like it to be true.”
“You would?”
He nodded.
She stared at him for a long moment. “Why, because you usually take them out before you take them home and screw them? You just don’t want to break protocol?”
It was Nate’s turn to stare at her. He didn’t know which fact to deal with first: the fact that she thought he was just going to treat her like one of the women he picked up, or the fact that she seemed to think he was expecting to take her home tonight. The former made him feel like shit. The latter made him excited enough to overlook it. He squeezed her hand when he realized he was still holding it. “No, because I like you. Because I wish this was a real date, that’s all. What’s wrong with that, anyway?”
She shrugged. “Nothing, if it were true.”
“It is true, Lil. Why don’t you believe that?”
She scowled. “Because you don’t do real dates; you just do precursors to sex.”
He scowled back. That hurt. But it was true. He shrugged. “I don’t know what to say in my defense.”
“Then don’t say anything. Let’s just get the check and get out of here.”
Nate didn’t know what to make of her. She was pissed at him for saying they were on a date. She didn’t believe he wanted to take her on a real date—but she was still expecting him to take her home, and have sex with her!
Once they were outside, he took hold of her hand. “What do you want to do then?”
She looked up at him. “I thought that was the whole point of this.”
He couldn’t believe she’d be that cold. “What’s the whole point?” He wanted to hear her say it.
She looked embarrassed for a moment and then straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. It was so cute; she looked as though she was ready to do battle. She might be embarrassed, but she wasn’t going to hide what she meant. “You want to have sex, don’t you?”
He nodded slowly. “I do, but that’s not exactly very romantic, is it?”
She shrugged. “You’re not a very romantic guy.”
She didn’t pull any punches; that was for sure. “So, what is this? You think I want to sleep with you, so you’re going to do it because you’re such a good friend?”
Her eyes widened. “No!”
“What then, Lil?”
She shrugged. “I want to.”
“You do?” This was too weird for Nate. He was making her admit that she wanted to sleep with him, and it wasn’t even what he really wanted the most. He wanted her to like him the way he liked her. He wanted her to want to spend time with him, to laugh and talk with him.
She nodded, but she looked upset. He stepped toward her and wrapped his arms around her. He couldn’t stand to see her that way, and he hated it, even more, knowing that he was the one who’d upset her. “How about we forget the sex part and just get back on track? You and me, Nate and Lily-Bean, best buddies.”
She looked up into his eyes. She looked like she might cry, but she smiled bravely. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
/>
“Good, me too.” He started walking her toward his truck.
“We’re going to your place?”
He nodded. “Unless you’ve got a problem with that?”
She shrugged. “You never take women to your place.”
“I’ve told you before, Lil. You’re not just another woman.” He hesitated, but he still hoped she might come to understand how he felt, and just maybe, she might feel the same way. “You’re so much more to me than that.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but he put his finger to her lips. He didn’t want to hear again how he saw her as such a good and dependable friend.
“You’re more than just another woman, and you’re more than just a friend. At least, I want you to be.” They reached the truck, and he opened the door for her. She stood there looking up at him before she climbed in. He couldn’t resist dropping a kiss on her lips. Her hands came up to his shoulders and the way she kissed him back gave him hope that she might like to be more than friends, too.
When they got to his house, he felt a little uncomfortable. This was new territory. She’d been right. He never brought women to his place, but this was Lily. She was his friend—but she wasn’t here as his friend. He didn’t know how to handle it. “Wine?” he asked.
She nodded and went to sit on the sofa. He brought their drinks and sat beside her. “How about a toast to us?”
She raised an eyebrow at him. “What does that even mean?”
He smiled and lifted his glass, then lifted hers to touch it. “It means you do this and you say, to us.”
She laughed. “I know that much, asshole. I mean us, what is us?”
“What would you like it to be?”
She shrugged.
He kept thinking back to what Jack had said earlier. What if she were interested in him, but she was holding back because she didn’t want to ask him for anything he didn’t want to give? What if she was simply afraid of rejection? He decided he may as well go out on a limb. He feared rejection, but if they were both in the same boat, he’d rather put himself out there than make her do it. “Shall I tell you what I’d like it to be?”