Or maybe it was the way Drusilla had an arctic presence about her or the way her husband’s eyes seemed to hold no light in them at all. When he sat still, he could almost pass for a corpse. He was currently flinching every time Clara shouted no and Drusilla’s chin lifted higher and higher like she was bursting to say something. Alejandro’s fingers flexed intermittently and he was the only one who didn’t look afraid.
“It’s not here,” Clara finally announced, slumping down dramatically in a chair like she was exhausted.
“We will make sure the search efforts are doubled,” Drusilla said firmly.
“We will find it,” Alejandro growled with conviction.
“You have been saying that for quite some time now,” my father said in a dangerous tone. “I have entertained this fantasy, but my patience is wearing thin.”
Drusilla bowed her head while Miguel quaked beside her. “Apologies, Lord Acrux. But I assure you, if you give us more time-”
Clara banged her hand against the table and my heart jolted. “Our king doesn’t have time to waste. He’s waiting on you before he acts.”
“I understand,” Drusilla said, nodding. “As I said, I can only apologise and promise to try harder.”
“I assure you I will get this charade under control, my lord,” Alejandro promised, cutting a sharp look at his sister.
“Or we can give up this fanciful affair and I can make my move tomorrow without its help,” Father said sharply and I swallowed the lump rising in my throat, wondering how long I could get away with standing here before I was discovered.
“Oh, but my king!” Clara’s voice suddenly changed to innocently sweet. She rose from her seat, placing her palm on his chest and running it down his shirt. “I feel that it’s out there. The shadows are seeking it too. You must hold out.”
Father’s gaze shifted to her and something akin to softness entered his gaze. Something I was sure I’d never seen angled at me or my brother. He lifted a hand, gripping her chin in what looked like a tight hold. “I can wait a little longer for such a gift, I suppose.”
She smiled like a cat, brushing her fingers up his arm and licking her lips. “It’ll be worthwhile, Daddy. I promise.”
I shuddered at that nickname.
Father looked to the Polarises. “You’re dismissed. Don’t just double your efforts, triple them. I want some tangible evidence of its existence within a week.”
“Yes, my lord,” Drusilla muttered and I didn’t waste another second, darting away from the room and taking cover in the kitchen.
I moved to the refrigerator, grabbing some orange juice and filling a glass. I could barely bring myself to drink it as I stood there thinking over what I’d heard and I shot a message to Darius to let him know what I’d seen.
Whatever they were after had to be trouble. And I was determined to find out what it was. Because I might not have been able to leave the house, but I could start my own quiet rebellion. And I was in the perfect position to gather intel. Ghost Recon style.
***
I stood shirtless in front of the mirrored wall that ran along one full side of the state of the art gym in the eastern wing. It was rarely used since Darius had moved out. Mother preferred to swim endless laps of the pool and Father was away so often that he rarely had need of the equipment here.
I worked out like my life depended on it these days. I knew I couldn’t rival Father without magic. But getting fit was one way to counter the feeling of helplessness he’d cornered me into. Besides, I was getting a good grip on the shadows so I had that going in my favour I guessed. Clara had taken over from her mother’s lessons and though I despised spending time in her company, I had to admit she’d helped me to wield them seriously quickly. Every day it became easier to draw them to the surface of my skin and let them loose. I may not have had access to my Elemental magic yet, but I wasn’t entirely unable to defend myself anymore…
I eyed the muscles beginning to show beneath my flesh, running my thumb across my chest and inspecting the ways I’d changed. It wasn’t just the weights that had affected my body either. This past year, I’d grown taller, my shoulders broadening, my features losing their boyish softness. I wasn’t like Darius with his Dragon bulk; my frame was built of lean muscle. I was made for speed and surefootedness. That suited me fine, because the only thing I’d ever dreamed of was running from this life. And one day soon, I hoped to get that chance. But chances weren’t made by the stars alone. I needed to make my own opportunities, so I had to start finding cracks in my prison’s walls.
I grabbed my shirt and headed out of the gym, jogging upstairs towards the bathroom on the landing. I moved quietly and knew it was because Father was still home. I was holding out for his next business trip, wishing it could come today. Whenever he was here, the entire house felt like it was holding its breath. I hated that I lived on edge, every slam of a door making me flinch, every pounding of heavy footfalls making my throat tighten and my muscles coil in anticipation of a beating.
I showered fast and was soon heading down for lunch dressed in a pair of slacks and a grey shirt. I preferred grabbing a quick bite myself rather than asking Jenkins to bring me anything. He always ordered the chef to put pickles in everything he made for me despite the amount of times I told him I hated them. I didn’t know if the forgetful crap he pulled was faked or not, but I had a feeling it was. He’d never forget the order when it came to Father’s lunch. He’d lose his head for it.
I grabbed a couple of slices of bread with the intention of making a grilled cheese when my mother entered the room in a maroon, long sleeved dress that clung to her figure.
“We’re having lunch as a family today, Xavier,” she said in an airy voice. “Go sit down in the dining room.” She wafted me toward the door, but I held back, noticing the tension in her posture.
“What’s going on?” I asked, my brows pulling together.
“Your father wants to talk to you about something,” she said with a hollow smile and my heart rate flipped into top gear.
“About what?” I asked, concern sliding into my veins. Father didn’t talk to me about anything. Not unless he had guests and was forced to make polite chit-chat in front of them.
“Go sit down,” she insisted, turning away from me and I swear her shoulders shuddered as I headed past her. I glanced back and she was gliding after me like the vacant spirit she always was.
I headed into the dining room, finding the long table set for four. Me and Mother took seats opposite one another in the centre of the table and I picked up the glass of water that had already been poured for me, draining it in one long go. My foot tapped anxiously under the table as silence stretched between us. I never knew what to say to my mom. Her answers were always so shallow, surface level. If I asked her if her heart was still beating she’d probably smile and nod. She might even casually cut a vein open to prove it. But she’d never tell me anything real.
A bang came from somewhere in the room above us and we both glanced up at the same time. The bang came again then over and over and Clara’s voice carried to us, making my heart shrivel into a prune. “Yes, Daddy– yes yes yes!”
My jaw fell slack and heat burned at the base of my skull as I looked down to find my mother staring glassily beyond my head.
Father started cursing and the chandelier above us tinkled as tremors ran through it.
Anger flashed through me, sharper than I’d ever known it. My mother was sitting right fucking here. He knew we were waiting in the room below. He didn’t even have the decency to cast a silencing bubble.
I was on my feet before I knew what I was even planning to do about the rage building in my chest and Mother’s eyes refocused, cutting into me. “Sit down, Xavier,” she insisted and I clenched my jaw, feeling like I was about to burst a blood vessel as I stood there.
“Oh my Dragon king – ah!” Clara screamed and I squeezed my eyes shut, dropping hard back into my seat.
“How can you let him disre
spect you like that?!” I demanded.
I never shouted at Mother, but this was too much. The blank look on her face said she didn’t care, but how could this not wind its way into her chest and squeeze the life from her? Maybe she’d been broken so long, she didn’t even feel anymore. Most of the time, I reckoned she just tuned out of life. But I wished she wouldn’t. I wished I had one damn person under this roof to share my pain with. The worst thing of all, was that I knew if I never got out of here, if Father kept me locked up forever, I was going to end up like that. Mindless, numb. And I couldn’t stand it.
Clara moaned like she was in the throes of the best orgasm of her life and I fixed my gaze on my dinner plate, my ears surely about to bleed. Father groaned as he finished too and I found my hand curling around the knife beside my plate. There was either a twisted cruelty in this or he didn’t care who was listening. I didn’t know which was worse.
A few minutes later, the two of them stepped into the room and my neck prickled at the sensation of them behind me.
Father dropped into his seat at the head of the table with a sigh, swiping up his glass of water and taking a long swig. Clara giggled as she dropped into the seat to his right, combing her fingers through her light brown hair to tame the wild strands sticking out the back of it. She was dressed in a pale pink shift dress I recognised as my mother’s and that was just an insult all of its own.
Jenkins appeared with a trolley on cue as if he’d been waiting in the shadows for his master to appear. He laid out our meals while I stared at Father, the muscles in my jaw working hard as I ground my teeth.
“I told Clara to help herself to your things,” Lionel said offhandedly. “You don’t mind do you, my sweet?”
Mother looked to Clara with a hardness in her eyes for a moment, then she nodded simply, fixing on a polite smile. “Of course not.”
“Thank you, Aunt Catalina,” Clara said in a sugary voice and that was it. The nail in the coffin. I’d had enough.
I slammed my fist down on the table and Father’s ice cold stare rammed into me. But I wasn’t going to just sit here and allow this to happen.
“How dare you insult my mother like that,” I snapped. “She’s your wife.”
An achingly long beat of silence passed and I couldn’t break Father’s gaze as a murderous glint entered them.
“How dare I?” he echoed in a deadly tone that coaxed the hairs to life on the back of my neck. “And what exactly are you referring to, son?” His tone held a hint of a challenge in it, like he wanted to see how far I’d go to stand up to him for the first time in my life. And if I was going to do it, I was going to damn well see it through. Even if it did terrify me to my core.
I rose from my seat, wanting the advantage of height on him if nothing else. I pointed at Clara who’s eyes widened in innocence as a snarl built in my throat. “She’s twenty years younger than you. She played with me as a kid. She was practically my sister. How can you screw her like it’s okay? Like any of this is fucking okay!” I grabbed my plate, launching it across the room so it smashed against the wall.
The sound rang in my ears and my father swatted a finger at me, sending a ferocious blast of air against my chest. I was thrown into the closed doors, my spine impacting with the wood and sending a crack splintering across them before I hit the ground. Father’s footfalls pounded towards me and my mother released a murmured noise which could have been fear.
Father reached down to grab me, but I wasn’t going to bow down that easily. Not today.
I’d had it with his bullshit.
I threw up my hands and the shadows exploded from me, forcing my father back a step before he raised his hands in a counter attack. The shadows pouring from my body suddenly stuttered out and I saw Clara in my periphery, her hand raised towards me as she locked my power deep down in my chest.
Panic snaked into my body just as Father snatched the back of my collar, hauling me out of the room and Clara laughed wildly as she followed us.
“I’ll give you a good reason to bite your tongue, boy,” he snarled, marching me across the hallway as I struggled to get free.
He shoved his way into the library and threw me to the ground with a gust of air magic behind the blow. I hit the hardwood floor with an oomph, slamming into the closest shelf of books and sending a bunch of them tumbling down over me.
I scrambled upright, my heart thumping madly in my ears. I’d been kept in check for so long that I hungered to fight back with the force of a starving beast. I wanted to tear him apart for everything he’d done. To Darius, to Mother, to me. He was a plague on this world and I despised every drop of his blood that ran in my veins.
“I hate you!” I roared, throwing my fist at him.
He was so caught by surprise that he forgot to shield and my knuckles cracked against his jaw, sending him stumbling backwards.
Clara stared at us with wide eyes, bobbing up and down on her heels and my heart thrashed as I waited for the axe to fall.
“Now you’re in big trouble,” she breathed with a wicked grin and I braced to fight as Father’s upper lip peeled back.
“So you finally grew a spine at last,” he sneered. “But it doesn’t make you any more of a man. And it definitely doesn’t make you more of an Acrux,” he hissed, his eyes travelling down me like I was a piece of dirt on his shoe. “You’ll always just be the embarrassment this family has to hide. Or maybe I’ll save us the bother and bury you so deep that even the worms won’t find you.”
“Do it then!” I snapped, my breaths coming frantically.
I may have lost my mind, but I didn’t care. I was done hiding in the shadows and tip-toeing around this house, waiting for the day my father had had enough of me. I was exhausted with it. No matter how frightening he was.
I clenched my teeth, raising my fists despite knowing I wouldn’t be able to land a hit on him again. But I wasn’t going to fall down to my knees like some coward.
“You want me gone, so get it over with,” I demanded, my heart tearing down the centre. It hurt that he hated me. Despised me. I wished with all my heart that I didn’t care. But his hatred made me ache. Because why? What had I ever done to deserve it? “I’ve never done a thing to you except exist,” I spat, my eyes burning as I held back all the pain churning inside me. I’d stopped trying to win his love a long time ago, but some part of me would never truly heal from the hurt of being nothing but a burden to my own father. “So do it,” I pressed as he continued to assess me with a cold, empty glare. “Stop me from existing and make your little problem go away.”
He came at me fast, flicking a hand to bind my limbs with air magic and fear invaded me like poison. His first punch brought me to the floor, breaking ribs on impact. I wheezed as pain ricocheted through my limbs as he started kicking.
Clara was cheering and clapping with every blow he struck. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to latch onto something good. There were so few moments in my life that had been truly sweet, but there were a few I’d revisited a thousand times. Playing with my brother in the lake on the grounds, laughing with him and Lance as we caught Faeflies out in the woods, the snowball fight with my friends. Real, actual people who knew me, liked me.
“Worthless – waste – of – my – fucking - time,” Father grunted with every kick and the pain began to blind me.
It ate into my shattered bones and gnawed its way along my veins. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of screaming, but my pain was no doubt written into my expression, spelled out in my blood. Maybe he fed on it. Maybe he needed me alive to keep feeding his demons and thriving on my fear. Maybe he’d never end this suffering. Because monsters need prey to feast on, and without me he’d starve.
He was suddenly in my face, kneeling over me and gripping my shirt in his fists. “You ever talk back to me like that again and you really will be counting down to your last breaths, do you hear me?” He shook me before I forced myself to nod, hearing his words through a heavy ringing in my ears. Blood
speckled his shiny shoes from my broken nose and he snatched out a handkerchief, wiping them off with a tut before rising above me. “You have a guest arriving in twenty minutes, be presentable. This is your last chance, Xavier. Make an effort with him or I won’t be merciful again.” He turned away, marching from the room and leaving me with Clara.
I curled in on myself, allowing myself a groan of pain as fire seemed to claw its way beneath my skin. Merciful? How could he think anything he did was merciful? He was cruelty embodied. A heathen with no soul.
The sound of sobs filled my ears and Clara suddenly screamed, dropping down before me and cradling me in her arms and I gasped in agony. Healing magic swept from her body into mine as she rested her face in the crook of my neck, her tears washing over my skin.
“No no no no,” she murmured, hugging me tight and I couldn’t manage to move to push her away. “I’m so sorry, so so sorry, Xavier.”
Her power took root in my body, taking away the pain and healing every fracture and bruise along the way. Clara laid kisses on my cheeks and I grunted as I reached out to press her back. She gazed down at me with a broken look in the depths of her eyes, tears running down her face and making her look almost human.
“You’re okay,” she whispered. “I’ll protect you.”
I reached out, my throat tight as I brushed hair away from her face, a thought entering my mind that the real Clara might still be behind all of this darkness that had invaded her. But then she dropped me on the floor and stood up, clapping her hands together.
“Silly boy, don’t say naughty things to Daddy again.” She gave me a stern look then started singing as she pranced out of the room.
I pushed myself to my feet, wiping the blood from my face with the back of my hand. I was shaken but not deterred. I wasn’t going to crawl back into my shell and hide from him. Not anymore. Not again.
Zodiac Academy 5: Cursed Fates: An Academy Bully Romance (Supernatural Bullies and Beasts) Page 19