by Susan Wiggs
And that, Darcy had realized, had been the first undeniable sign of her failing marriage—not the drafts folder, which of course completely confirmed Amy’s accusation, but the fact that, months earlier, Darcy herself had begun monitoring Huntley’s messages.
He was both careless and unsophisticated about computers. She hadn’t been looking for anything specific. Just...looking. For answers. For the reason she couldn’t feel the love from him anymore. For the reason he had emotionally left the building, like a traveler checking out of a motel he never planned to return to.
It was said that there are no winners in a divorce, but Darcy discovered that wasn’t true in her case. She had lost a husband, a family, a way of life. She had lost half her assets, her home and her belief in her own judgment when it came to men. Huntley had lost, too; the fling with his ex had flamed out, and these days, as far as she knew, he was alone. But there were winners—the crafty Amy and her brother, Orion. They had not wanted a stepmother, and now she was gone, vanished from their lives.
And here was a surprise. She missed them. She had managed to stop loving Huntley. That was easy enough, crushing her feelings for someone who had crushed her heart with the most intimate of betrayals. She couldn’t simply turn off her feelings for the kids, though. When she’d married Huntley, they were eight and ten, filling her with joy. Five years later, they were teenagers, challenging her at every turn. Yet even at their most manipulative and obnoxious, they were children to whom she had given herself entirely. Even now she couldn’t stop remembering how it felt to be a family, swept up in the busy days of their lives together. Knowing she couldn’t see them, could never hold or touch them again was a special kind of hell.
In the Fitzgerald family, Darcy herself had been the daughter most likely to procreate. After all, she had married a man with children, and she’d made no secret of wanting more. She’d loved being a stepmom to Amy and Orion—until everything had changed. The special, knife-sharp hurt of their campaign against her had caused a fundamental shift deep inside Darcy. She’d gone from being a woman who thought she could have it all to a woman who wanted none of it.
“I’m not ready to meet anyone,” she said to India. “It seems like only yesterday, I considered myself a happily married woman.”
“Now you’ll be happily single.”
“And determined to stay that way. Not only do I want to stay away from guys, but I want to stay away from guys with kids. So quit trying to throw me together with your yummy brother.”
“You think he’s yummy?”
“Don’t you dare tell him I said that.”
“I was just going to send him a text. Jeez, what do you take me for? The idea of ‘brother’ and ‘yummy’ do not compute in my mind. Ew.”
“Spoken like a true sister.”
“I’m trying to help here, Darcy. Look at it this way—you got your starter marriage over early.”
“It was supposed to be forever.”
“The next one will be. Just you wait.”
“Exactly. I’m waiting. Forever is worth waiting for. So don’t be trying to fix me up with your brother.”
They rounded a bend in the road, and the main square of Avalon came into view. Gilded by sunset, the little lakeside village had the kind of charm seen in tourist brochures, touting the wonders of the Catskills—glorious rolling hills clad in end-of-summer excess, colorful painted cottages along the lake, catboats flying their white sails on the water, out for an evening sail. The sight was so pretty, it took her breath away for a moment—the deep purple of twilight reflected in the still water, the stars sprinkled above the distant hills, the fairy lights of the town.
The bucolic allure of scenery and serenity tugged at her heart. She’d been living in Manhattan for too long. It was good to get out into nature for a while, to see the sky above and the scenery all around her.
“Okay,” Darcy said, “you’re forgiven. It’s beautiful here. A nice change from the sock warehouse out my window in the city.”
“Agreed. We should come up to see Logan more often.”
“He said he moved here to be near Charlie.”
“That’s right. Charlie was born the summer after they got out of high school.”
“So young,” Darcy mused.
“Never underestimate the power of a teenager to do dumb things. I worry constantly about my boys. Logan definitely had a wild streak in high school. Daisy—that’s Charlie’s mom—came here to be with her family. She thought she’d be raising the baby alone, but Logan surprised everyone, including our parents. He got his act together, moved up here to be near Charlie, and turned himself into an awesome dad. Put himself through college and started a solid business. I adore him for turning his life around, but the path he took still makes our parents mental.”
“You can’t be serious. Aren’t they proud of him?”
“Yes, but they had other plans for him. He was supposed to go to an Ivy League school like all good O’Donnells, and then he was supposed to take over the reins of the family business. Instead, he wound up here, running an insurance office and being Charlie’s dad. I guess our folks have made their peace with it, but they still think he took a wrong turn.”
“Parents,” Darcy mused, gazing out the window at the play of light on the water. “What is it with parents, projecting all their expectations on their kids? I’ve been in violation of my folks’ expectations since the moment I was born a girl instead of a boy.”
“Yes, how dare you?” said India.
“Such a burden, having five daughters,” said Darcy. “And now only one of us is decently married. Lydia and the oh-so-perfect Badgley Collins.”
“Huntley’s older brother. How is everyone handling that?” asked India.
“We’re all so terribly civilized about it. My folks and the Collinses go way back to their college days. We are meant to get along no matter what.”
Darcy had not been able to bring herself to tell her family about the cheating. They had no idea how hard it was for her to simply grit her teeth and pretend she had smoothly moved on with her life, to pretend that the Collinses’ son Huntley had not shredded her heart into irreparable bits. “I’m already dreading the holidays,” she confessed. “Our families have been swapping host duties for decades. My mom and Rachel Collins are already planning the usual joint celebration at Thanksgiving.”
“You could spend the holidays with us,” India said.
Darcy imagined her family’s horror at the prospect of her defection. Their holiday traditions were chiseled in stone. The season always started off with a Thanksgiving feast that would make Martha Stewart green as collectible glass with envy. After that, the holidays kicked into high gear—the plans, the shopping, the food, the music. The previous year, she had made the mistake of trying to join in, and the stress had nearly wrecked her. The prospect of enduring even a salmon mousse canapé in the presence of her ex-husband made her nauseated.
“What do you say?” asked India. “I swear, my family would love to have you.”
“Seriously?”
“Sure. We usually all go to my folks’ place in Florida, at Paradise Cove. The house is huge, and located right on a private beach, a surfer’s mecca. You can sit on the sugar-fine sand, sipping a fruity drink, and let your ex deal with the mess he made.”
“Surfing? Do you know how tempting that sounds?”
“That’s the idea—to tempt you.”
“I might take you up on it. Wait a second. Is your brother going to be there?”
“Yep.”
Darcy couldn’t stop herself from flashing on an image of Logan O’Donnell in board shorts and flip-flops, on a sugar-sand Florida beach.
“I’ll think about it,” she said. She probably wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it.
India peered at the shady street ahead and switched on the headlamps. “He
y, do me a favor and see if the hotel brochure has directions. We’re staying at the Inn at Willow Lake.”
Darcy found a colorful flyer and angled it toward the light. “There’s an annex in the middle of town, and the main location is on the lake.”
“We’re staying at the one on the lake.”
“It’s easy to find, then. Just stay on the Lakeshore Road and we’ll come right to it. Looks gorgeous in the brochure.”
“I’m sure it is. Just as an aside—the owners, Nina and Greg Bellamy, are Logan’s former in-laws.”
“Wait, what? His ex is their daughter?”
“Hazard of life in a small town—eventually, everyone is connected.”
“So, was he married to Charlie’s mother for long?”
“No. They tried to make it work for Charlie’s sake, but they realized it wasn’t right and never would be. It was hard, watching him struggle to hold them together. There was...drama. Maybe someday Logan will tell you all about it.”
“Assuming I want him to tell me. Assuming he wants to.”
“Ah, Darce. I know you’re still raw, but I promise, things will get better. After his breakup, Logan was kind of a mess for a while, but he came out of the fog.”
“Meaning he climbed right back on the horse, so to speak.”
“I think it’s a guy thing. They tend to start dating right away. He hasn’t had a serious relationship yet, though. Just a string of...distractions, I guess you’d call them. Daisy, his ex, is remarried now, living in Oklahoma with her new husband. That’s why Logan’s time with Charlie is so precious—he has to split custody with Charlie’s mom.”
Darcy pictured the little boy, an adorable mixture of sweetness and mischief, his wavy red hair matching his father’s. “Just so you know, Charlie is one of the many reasons I’m not interested in hooking up with your brother. I’m sure he’s a nice little kid, but I’ve been with a man who has children, and I’m not going there again. I intend to remain happily childless for all of my days.”
chapter three
Saying goodbye to Charlie had become steeped in ritual. First Logan took him to the house and they arranged his room so that when he returned, he’d find everything in place. Then they packed his duffel bag and drove to the center of town for a snack and to say goodbye to friends and neighbors.
Signs of autumn and back-to-school were already popping up. Suzanne Bailey of Zuzu’s Petals boutique was on the sidewalk in front of her shop, arguing with Adam Bellamy, a newcomer to town who happened to be from an old Avalon family. He’d recently moved to Avalon and worked as a fireman. He and Logan were buddies, both of them fans of outdoor sports—mountain biking, snowboarding, white-water kayaking, rock and ice-climbing. Suzanne’s husband, Jeff, was also a firefighter, probably on duty at the moment. She and Adam were like oil and water; at the moment they appeared to be bickering about the placement of her sidewalk sale racks.
“Sorry to interrupt the fun,” said Logan, “but I brought Charlie to say goodbye.”
Adam turned, his scowl at Suzanne turning to a grin for Charlie. “Hate to see you go, my brother. I’ll keep an eye on your old man while you’re away.”
“Cool,” said Charlie. “Don’t let him give you any trouble.”
“He’s always trouble, but I think I can handle him.” Adam looked like the kind of guy who could handle anything. Built like a linebacker, he was a three-time winner of a seventy-story stair-running marathon in the city.
Suzanne gave Charlie a quick hug. “I remember when you got all your back-to-school clothes from me. I miss that.”
Something must have shown on Charlie’s face, because she added hastily, “Here’s a little something for you.” She handed him a small solar-powered reading light, something she sold in her shop. “For your travels.”
“Wow, thanks,” said Charlie.
“Will you be back for Thanksgiving?” she asked.
“We always go to Florida.”
“That’s rough,” Adam said, patting him on the shoulder.
“Christmas, then?” Suzanne asked. “Or will you be basking in the Florida sun then, too?”
“Unless we get a better offer,” Logan said.
Charlie tugged at his sleeve. “Bakery next, Dad?”
“Bakery next.”
“Cool, I’ll get a table.” Charlie headed down the block toward the Sky River Bakery for his last visit to the beloved place for the holy grail of pastries, the iced maple bar.
“He’s really grown this summer,” said Suzanne. “He acts more grown-up, too.”
Logan nodded. “I guess having to shuttle back and forth between parents is making him grow up fast.”
“Charlie’s an awesome kid,” said Adam. “If I ever have kids, I’m coming to you for advice.”
“Thanks. I’m trying to get used to the part-time parenting thing, but it sucks. Love that little guy, and I miss him so damn much when he’s not around.”
“Dive into work,” Suzanne suggested. “That’s what I do.”
“What, to escape your humdrum existence?” Adam asked. “I’ll be sure to tell Jeff that.”
“Hey.” She swatted him with a coat hanger.
“Diving into my work isn’t exactly an escape,” said Logan.
“You’re a good businessman,” Adam pointed out. “That must feel good, right? Everybody I know uses you.”
“‘For all your insurance needs,’” Logan finished, quoting his own slogan. “I’m so freaking bored with my business, I can’t even tell you. I got into it because I wanted to be near Charlie. It’s a stable, predictable racket with regular hours. But since he moved away with his mom, it’s just a job.”
“Then find a job you like,” Adam said simply. “That’s what I did.” He’d been an executive for a big multinational corporation, but seemed a lot more content these days as a firefighter and an arson investigator.
“I’m thinking about taking over Saddle Mountain,” said Logan. Every time he thought about it, the idea fixed itself more firmly in his mind.
“The ski resort?” asked Suzanne. “You’re joking.”
“Maybe not.”
“You’re crazy,” she said.
“I bet people told you that when you said you were opening your shop,” Adam pointed out.
“You’d lose,” she retorted, though she seemed to like his teasing.
“I’d better catch up with Charlie,” said Logan.
“I’ll join you,” Adam said. “Hungry again. And I want to hear more about your new plan.”
They found Charlie waiting at the bakery, seated at a painted enamel table and eyeing the fragrant, glistening contents in the display case. The café seating area was busy with its morning crowd of locals and tourists. The walls featured a series of stunning photographs by Daisy Bellamy—Logan’s ex. Even though she’d moved away, reminders of her lingered everywhere. She was a Bellamy, after all; in Avalon, they were ubiquitous.
As he studied the beautifully photographed nature scenes, Logan felt a curious detachment. He didn’t miss her. He didn’t still love her. But he missed the life of the family they’d made, the day-to-day routines, the companionship, the fun they’d had with Charlie.
Adam went to the counter and ordered coffee and kolaches, and Charlie’s usual—an iced maple bar and a mug of hot chocolate. “So, when are you going to set this new plan in motion?” he asked Logan.
“New plan doing what?” Charlie asked, then took a big bite of the soft pastry.
Logan gave a slight shake of his head. Not now.
“His new plan to be as awesome as me,” Adam said, clinking cups with Charlie. “Your dad says he needs a cooler job.” He consumed half a kolache in one bite.
“Yeah, like a time traveler or a shape-shifter,” Charlie suggested.
“I already do that,” said Logan.
“But don’t tell anybody.”
“Really?”
“You don’t think I sit at a desk all day studying actuary tables, do you? That’s just a cover for my true identity.”
“What’s your true identity?”
“The Silver Snowboarder.”
“You like snowboarding with your dad?” Adam asked him.
Charlie nodded. “It’s the best.”
“Better than that maple bar?”
“Well...almost.”
Adam finished his coffee. “I need to roll, my brothers.” He bumped knuckles with Charlie, then gravely shook his hand. “You take care, now. Work hard in school, and I’ll see you when you come back around.”
“Okay, Adam. Don’t let the place burn down while I’m gone.”
“Never happen.” He left a tip on the table. “MTB later?” he asked Logan.
“Indubitably.” Mountain-biking was exactly what he’d need later in the day, when Charlie’s departure for Oklahoma hurt like a fresh, gaping wound in his chest. He and Adam had begun a tradition of tearing up the trails in the hills above Avalon after work, in all kinds of weather.
Charlie dawdled over finishing his snack, and Logan didn’t rush him. Though neither had mentioned it, they both knew they were only minutes away from the dreaded long goodbye.
As soon as they left the bakery, the inevitable process would begin. Charlie’s mom was waiting for him at the Inn at Willow Lake, which was owned by her folks. Daisy always stayed there when she came to town. Logan’s duty was to hand the kid over and pretend it was great, a big adventure for Charlie. “Coparenting” was one of those terms that sounded like a good idea until it was actually put into practice. In actual fact, every time he said goodbye to Charlie, it ripped out a piece of his heart.
His phone vibrated, signaling a text message. Daisy’s ID came up. We’re hoping to make the noon train to the city. Possible?
Shit.
“We need to go, buddy.” Logan added to the tip on the table. “Don’t forget your stuff.”
Charlie grabbed his Camp Kioga baseball cap and put it on. “Ready,” he said.