It was the kind of pain I could get with.
I felt too full with both his width and length, but God, I knew, one day soon I’d love every inch he was giving to me now.
When he was all the way inside me, he froze, and I almost wanted to tug at my hair. It was like I didn’t know what to do with myself, didn’t know where to put my hands or arms, and then he took my confusion and inexperience away from me. Bridging my fingers with his, he pinned my hands on either side of my head, and slowly began to move with shallow thrusts.
His eyes were bound to mine and it felt like he was more than just fucking my body, but making love to my goddamn soul. I felt like such a pansy, but when tears burned my eyes, I had no choice but to let them fall. No choice at all. It was beautiful and raw, and it was everything I’d never even imagined for my first time. When he dipped his head and trailed his lips along my tears tracks, I gulped.
“I love you, Ama,” he ground out, his mouth dropped to my ear where he nipped my earlobe. “Are you ready for me?”
I swallowed. “Always.”
He froze. “Birth control?”
“The jab,” I groaned.
“Good.”
That was all the warning I got before he began to thrust into me. My face crumpled as the painful pleasure he triggered inside me detonated. “Fuck,” I wailed, my head swinging from side to side against the comforter as he thrust hard and fast into me. It was too much, and yet not enough, everything but nothing.
I hauled my legs up and dug my heels into his ass, using that to press him harder into me, wanting him to move faster and get as deep as he could. I wanted no space between us, wanted to feel him in my fucking throat.
Unable to stop myself, I twisted so I could bite down on his shoulder—it was either that or scream. As the frustrated feelings coalesced inside me, I realized how painful pleasure could be. It was like he was teasing me, but he was giving me everything!
My fingers clamped down on his as I bucked into him.
“Ama?” My name was loaded with concern, but there was nothing to be worried about.
“Harder,” I gasped, staring blindly up at him. “Please,” I begged.
His grin shone briefly, and even as it lit me up inside, he gave me what I’d begged for.
This.
Fuck.
This was what I needed.
His cock hit me so deeply that I knew I’d be walking funny tomorrow, but did I care? Nope. I didn’t. I didn’t give a crap. Instead, I gloried in the pleasure that was bubbling away deep inside me. I knew I was close, could feel it, there, in the distance, ready to push me over, over—
“Oh God!” I cried, my back arching, my head falling back into the covers as my entire body strained with the surge of pleasure that overcame me until I was drowning in it, until all that I was became absorbed into that bubble of pleasure.
The only thing that penetrated that bubble?
Liam.
He growled, “Oh, fuck. Ama! Babe, Ama!” Each word was punctuated by a thrust until he stilled and I felt him, deep in my core, his heat, his warmth, the scalding sear of him.
Everything that made me me was rewritten in that moment as I took that final step away from the past and into a future where he was in it, not just as a friend, but at my side.
If that wasn’t enough to make my world brighter, then nothing was.
17
Keys
Having Kenzie on the back of my bike felt weird.
Hell, it felt more than weird. The only woman who’d ever been on here before was Ama, and to be honest, that felt right. Having her body snuggled into me, even when it was a boiling hot summer’s day, made sense to me.
It was like how my heart beat.
My lungs bellowed air in and out.
It just was.
Kenzie’s belly didn’t help. It stuck into my back, making the nine-hour trip even more torturous than it already was. I mean, this was my first run, so I wasn’t accustomed to sitting on my bike for that length of time with very few breaks in between.
I wasn’t bitching as this kind of run wasn’t something a prospect usually got to experience, but because Ama never liked going farther than Jonsson, we never really even crossed the borders of the district, so my ass was aching like a bitch, and my back, with Kenzie’s bump sticking into it? Yeah, I was going to be walking like I had something shoved up my butt for a while—and while I totally didn’t agree with kink shaming, there was no way in fuck that was my kink.
When we made it to the last scheduled stop before we’d be approaching Corpus Christi, the city nearest us, I was relieved as all hell to climb off my bike after steadying Kenzie. She stumbled a little, but Saint was there to support her. I wished I hadn’t seen it, but I saw her flinch at his touch, even if it was supposed to be helpful.
She kind of reminded me of a dog who’d been kicked. I just hoped that she wouldn’t flinch for the rest of her life, even if that cunt Hex had taught her to always be wary around other men.
Would time heal that wound?
I didn’t pray, didn’t really believe in God, but for her sake, I prayed she would overcome this, and knew that I’d do anything in my power to make sure she did.
When Saint backed off after helping her, I cut him a look and dipped my chin in thanks. He grunted and asked, “Want something to eat?”
“I’m fucking starving, man.”
He snorted. “You’re always starving.”
My cell buzzed and I dug it out from my pocket. Seeing a text from Ama, I laughed when I saw it was a photo of her eating a cookie. The little minx had made my favorite kind.
Me: You’d better save me one.
Ama: Maybe. Depends on how long it takes you to get here.
Me: You know we’re not supposed to give out locations/distances.
Ama: *shrugs* Sucks to be you then, doesn’t it?
I grunted, then peered at Kenzie who was waddling behind Saint down the sidewalk. It was grim as fuck for a service station. Everything looked like it needed a coat of paint. Either that or a damn good scrub. I mean, I wasn’t the cleanest fucker in the world, but Jesus, this place was the pits.
Scraping a hand over my face, I mumbled, “Fuck’s sake.”
Me: You know that Dagger gave me a list of shit not to do before I went on this run, right?
Ama: He did? Can I read the rules when you get back?
I snorted. Me: No. Since when were you a Prospect?
Ama: Since you became one. You’re my project.
Hiding a laugh as I shuffled down the sidewalk behind my blood sister and a brother who was almost like blood, I typed: I got the whole ‘we know how close you are to Ama’ talk. I.e. they don’t want me to share shit with you.
Ama: That’s because they think I’m a saint.
My lips twitched because, Ama, even if she didn’t know it, was our saint.
Me: Maybe. But we know otherwise, don’t we? ;)
Ama: Okay, I’ll save you one. Seeing as you’re trying to guilt trip me.
She sent another picture, this one had the chocolate chips oozing out from the cookie crumb and onto her hand. My mouth watered at that, but mostly, it was watering at the particularly nice shot I got of her tits.
That was spank bank material right there.
Me: Glad it worked. Gonna go eat now. See you soon.
Ama: If it’s late, I might be at Black Ink.
Me: Why? I frowned down at my phone at her text, and my frown only deepened when she didn’t instantly reply.
Me: Ama? You getting a tattoo? I’d be beyond pissed if I missed out on her getting her first tattoo, especially after she’d laughed at me when I got mine.
Me: Ammmmma?
Ama: What?
Me: Since when do you go to Black Ink?
She usually avoided the place because she had the biggest crush on Ink. I didn’t think she knew we knew, but fuck, there was no hiding from it. Every time I saw her making goo-goo eyes at him, I wanted to ram my
fist into his throat.
Ama: Since I’m apprenticing there.
That had me halting on my way to the service stop diner.
Me: Holy fuck. Since when were you apprenticing there?
Ama: It was decided after you left.
Me: I’ve been gone like a day and a half.
Ama: See what happens when you’re gone? You’re always gonna miss shit. Should have stayed here, and if you had, you’d be getting more than one cookie too…
I rolled my eyes. Me: Yeah, yeah.
Ama: :P Speak later, be safe, know I’ll kill you if you get into a crash, I’ll kill you before the crash can, and remember I have cookies I’m not afraid of eating.
I’d like to eat her fucking cookie.
Instead of texting anything like that, something that would probably stun the shit out of her, I just heaved a breath and typed: I’ll be safe. X
For her. I didn’t tell her that, but yeah, I’d be safe for her because I knew she meant every word, and to be honest, I kind of liked that.
Realizing that I was the only one of my brothers not to have made it into the shitty diner attached to the service station, I joined them.
As I opened the door, my boots stuck to the cracked Lino and I headed past the equally cracked red vinyl booths toward the area Saint and Kenzie had taken. At their side was Long John—so named because he refused to go on a run without a pair of Long Johns on, didn’t matter if it was a hundred degrees outside or not—and Crocker, who was addicted to Betty Crocker cake mixes. Yeah, road names weren’t always representative of the mean fuckers out there.
Long John’s work with a knife was pure art. Back in the day, when the MC had taken on plenty of murders for hire, he’d been on Dagger’s crew—knife jobs. Muggings gone wrong. That kind of shit.
Crocker was an apprentice of Bomber Steeler. He’d been the Prez before Wolfe, and he’d died in a ‘skirmish’ with the MC we were currently riding down to the compound with.
Funny how shit changed thanks to a daughter.
As I slinked into the booth, Saint caught my eye. “Ordered you pancakes.”
I pulled a face. “You sure you want to eat here? Looks like they spit in your food.”
Long John grinned at me. “Ain’t nothing wrong with spit.”
“At the risk of sounding like a girl, ‘ew.’”
Kenzie, for the first time since she’d come to me, laughed. Actually fucking laughed. Her nose wrinkled as she murmured, “Well, I am a girl, and I’ll say it for you. Ew, LJ, that’s fucked up.”
He shrugged, but shot her a wink. “I love me some spit.”
She groaned. “Yeah, but a stranger’s? In your food?”
“Prefer a chick’s.”
I blinked at him. “Can’t believe we’re having this conversation.” Rubbing my eyes, I mumbled, “Dude, you’re gross.”
He slapped me on the back. “I’ll remember that when I send you off to do some shit on my behalf. I’ll enjoy the fact you can’t say ‘no’ even more.”
Shooting him the bird, I sank back into the booth and sighed.
“Surprised you haven’t bitched about the long ride by now,” Crocker pointed out over his coffee mug. In his cut, he looked like the mean motherfucker he was. With the skull on his throat, the one that was smoking a cigarette, you wouldn’t think the bastard could get through four boxes of cake mix in a week.
The bastard was skinny as a fucking rake too, and he had all his teeth. Somehow. Maybe that was more of a miracle than anything else.
“My ass is aching,” I admitted, and grinned when they all hooted. Though I flipped them the bird again, I just mumbled, “Where’s the spit-pancakes?”
Kenzie grunted. “You trying to make me puke?”
“If four hours on a goddamn bike doesn’t make you puke, I think we’re good.”
“I’d have preferred a chauffeured limo to be the vehicle that was used to rescue me,” she stated with a wry smile, “but I’ll take my knights however I can get them.”
“Seriously, you okay?” Crocker asked, all serious now.
“Yeah. I’m used to being on the back of a bike. More than boy wonder over there. This the first time you’ve left the county?”
Fuck. Hadn’t taken her long to turn back into a bitch. Still, I preferred that to her flinching at everything and anything—in fact. What was that about?
As I said, “Not my fault. Only just fucking graduated, Kenz,” I studied her. Studied her and saw that she was leaning into Long John.
The hell?
Long John was twice my age, which made the fact he wore thermal undies all the time even fucking weirder in my opinion—dude wasn’t pushing eighty, after all.
“Bullshit. You still panting after little miz angel?” Kenzie taunted.
My narrowed eyes should have told her to back off. “What’s got you in a snit?” I demanded. “You go from flinching when Saint helped you off the damn bike to, what? Turning back into a grade-A bitch?”
“Just making a comment, that’s all,” she sniped back.
“Fuck, well, I didn’t miss this Kenzie. I can tell you that for nothing,” I ground out. “Ama has never done anything but be nice to you, and fuck, if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t even be here. Her granddaddy would have let you rot with that cunt of an old man you chose. So don’t you dare talk shit about her when she ain’t here to defend herself.”
I wasn’t ashamed of the words I spoke, but I was annoyed at myself with the tone and the volume. She flinched again, but there was no way in fuck I was going to let Kenzie revert to the bitch of old just because she had a friend on her side again—because, now that I thought about it, Long John and my dad had been pretty close. But I’d been twelve when dad had been put inside, and I barely knew him, never mind his friends.
Long John, to me, was just another brother. Wolfe, Flame, Dagger, and Axe had all helped raise me after Lucie insisted I come and stay at their house when dad had been locked up and my mom had died. They were the ones who’d taken over that role, and it was why I’d die for them, why I’d do anything in my power to give them whatever they needed because they’d taken a terrified orphan in and had treated me well.
Long John… not so much.
Not that I held a grudge or anything. Why would he give a fuck about a snot-nosed kid? But I just remembered he hung around a lot back then, and…
My frown turned into a glower.
Five years ago, my sister would have just been turning nineteen. Jailbait, sure, but fuck, when had that stopped anyone in an MC before? We didn’t allow sick shit to go down, at least not in the Rebels, but nineteen? Nah. That wouldn’t stop Long John, and it would explain why Kenzie was acting like top bitch again… as well as why Long John and Crocker were sitting with us when I’d expected to walk in and eat with just Saint and her.
Neither man defended Kenzie, and Saint just tipped his chin, telling me silently he backed every word I said— I appreciated that he hadn’t waded in. I didn’t need anyone to fight my battles for me.
It was just like Kenzie to do this. Back in the day, she’d called herself a feminist, but she was the one who’d run off to be with a biker, and who was now acting like a grade-A bitch just because she had another biker at her back.
The silence was heavy as we waited on the server to deliver our meals, and I didn’t let it drop. No one could talk smack about Ama around me or Saint, and that was the way of it.
If Kenzie was back for good, then she’d better get the jump on that real quick. I loved her, wanted the best for her, and didn’t want her to be hurt by the creep she’d picked as a partner, but Ama was the love of my fucking life. It didn’t matter that she didn’t know that yet, didn’t matter that she might not reciprocate my feelings and that she may have a thing for Saint, I’d defend her and protect her with everything I had.
Just as I’d been doing since I was a kid.
❖
Ink
“This is the autoclave,” I inform
ed Ama, showing her the unit that sterilized all sharp materials. “Remember when we broke down the gun? Which parts need sterilizing?”
She peered around the room. “Why’s it so tiny?”
I snorted. “Because the law states this room has to be separate from the rest of the parlor, but they didn’t state how big it has to be. Now, which parts?”
Ama waved a hand. “The grip, tube tip, and needles. They’re the only parts of the tattoo machine that come into contact with skin.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “How much reading did you do last night?”
She beamed at me. “I read that whole pdf document you made me download.”
“Didn’t you sleep?”
“Some. I woke up at four.” She shrugged like it was no big deal, but it was a huge deal. Ama didn’t have a damn thing wrong with her ‘sleep.’ It was just the memories that fucked with her subconscious and woke her up. “I got reading and I’m glad I did. I didn’t expect things to get technical so soon.”
My lips twitched. “Babe, I know how good you are at art. That isn’t what you have to learn, although you’ll have to adapt your design to what the client wants. You can’t just go ahead with your own checklist, it’s what they want or nothing.”
“Of course.”
Huh. She said that so easily that I squinted at her—I’d kind of expected an argument on that front.
“Also, there are certain parts of the body that you have to be careful with.” This was off topic, but hell, I wanted to touch her, so I raised her arm, and smoothed my fingers along the line of her bicep and around to the ball of her shoulder. Then, I turned her arm gently, and trailed my fingers down to her elbow. “There are contours here, contours you have to study and see how they line up with your design. There’s a lot to learn but you have the talent.”
“That feels really good,” she admitted, her nose crinkling as she stared into my eyes.
My lips twitched. “It was supposed to.” Throat thick with all the emotion I was holding back, I dipped my head and pressed a kiss to her forehead before trailing my mouth down to hers. I kissed the corner, and on a murmur, asked, “What are the five ‘Ps’ of tattooing?”
All Sinner No Saint Page 31