That had her pulling back to look up at me. “Why would it? I wasn’t scared.”
I shook my head. “You astound me, babe.” And she did. Now I looked at her and cast a glance around the other women, I saw that she and Lucie were pretty much the only ones who weren’t red-eyed and sniffling as they cuddled up to the men. Such bravery deserved a reward so I dropped a kiss to her lips—that was all for her benefit. Not mine. No sirree. “Love you.”
Seeing the confusion in her eyes, I was grateful that we didn’t have time for this conversation to carry on. I didn’t want her to know I was concerned for her, not outside of the normal amount anyway. It might undermine her and that would suck monkey balls.
“Love you, too,” she replied earnestly, then her nose crinkled. “Will one of you pick me up from the Urgent Care clinic?”
I looked around for Keys, surprised that he and Saint weren’t over here like bees around honey now we were free. “Keys can go with you. We have church, but you know prospects ain’t allowed to attend.”
“Yeah, I know. Thought you might need him out here on the gates, though.”
“It’s all in hand.” Or it would be. No way was she leaving the compound on her own.
I hugged her tightly, feeling something inside me settle when she hugged me back. Flame’s words hit me then, hit me square in the fucking heart, and I was helpless to those feelings she inspired in me. I’d spent a long ass time hiding from any softer feelings, mostly because this girl, this crazy ass little girl, had broken me.
Yeah, I knew that sounded messed up, but it was the truth.
I’d seen shit overseas I could reason away. It was another world, another time, another place. But Ama? She’d been at home. In her bed. And she’d been taken. Denigrated. Tormented.
In a way, I’d feared for the world I lived in that could do that to someone so innocent. So vulnerable. Bringing a woman into this life wasn’t something I could handle, not when my mind was fucked over what I’d seen.
Then, by the time I’d gotten over it, she was sixteen and sneaking into my room to use me as an overgrown teddy bear.
No wonder I was messed up where she was concerned. She’d had me in knots for far too long for me to even think about being able to unravel them.
In her ear, I whispered, “Need you, baby.”
“I need you, too. But I’m okay, Ink. I promise.” She pulled back so she could look in my eyes, and I saw that she was. That any insecurities and vulnerabilities were on me.
She was weak at night.
That was when she needed me to be strong.
But here? Now? Her demons were asleep, and she was more than capable of taking on what our world had to throw at her.
“I’ll take that promise because I know you don’t break them.”
Her lips twitched. “Never.”
As the EMTs jumped down from the ambulance, I tapped her on the nose and said, “Behave.”
Her wink set me alight. “Never.”
❖
Saint
I rubbed Keys’ shoulder, unsure of what to do or say to make any of this shit better, so I just sat there. Sat there and watched as my brothers pulled together, trying to get back to some semblance of normalcy.
When the ambulance arrived, I murmured, “Ama’s going to the hospital with Bubbles. You going to protect her?”
He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes as he nodded. “Yeah. Don’t want her alone with that lying cunt.”
“Doubt she’s capable of lying at the minute,” I mumbled. Still, it was surreal seeing the woman I knew cared for me—or as much as she was capable of caring for any man—crumpled on the ground like a newspaper someone had tossed out.
I didn’t feel much, but I hoped she was okay. She might be a shitty human being, but fuck, we were all capable of change, weren’t we?
Maybe having a kid would make her a decent person… I doubted it, but hell, she couldn’t be much worse than the conniving, lying, vindictive piece of shit she was now, so, the only way was up, right?
Keys got to his feet and loped over to Ama’s side without another word, and I followed too. Giving Ama a kiss when Ink had let her up for air, and telling her to, “Be good.”
“You both said that. What mischief do you think I can get up to in a clinic?” she mumbled, making me tap her ass as she wandered over to Keys’ side.
When the EMTs argued with Keys over both him and Ama sitting in the back, Keys just stood his ground, letting Wolfe explain shit for him.
The EMTs weren’t happy, but they were smiling when Wolfe passed them some Ben Franklins. Within five minutes, Bubbles, Ama, and Keys were on their way, and I knew we had church.
I’d be glad when Keys wasn’t a prospect, just so I didn’t have to keep shit from him. I knew, living the way we were, was going to make that even harder than it would normally be.
Keeping Ama in the dark was one thing, but Keys as well? It just smacked of shit when I knew he was a brother to everyone here, and that it was only a matter of time before he was patched in.
With the ambulance in the distance now, I turned away from the gates to Hell, and stared up at the clubhouse. I knew what it was going to be like inside. I’d been around for another raid a few years back. They tore everything apart. Wrecked all the pillows, knifed the mattresses and sofa cushions in the hunt for whatever shit they were looking for.
Considering we’d started buying shit last week to replace the other raid?
We were out of pocket and with way too much stuffing every-fucking-where.
“You okay?”
I cut Ink a look. “Been better. You?”
“I behaved.”
That meant he hadn’t been beaten. I pointed to my eye. “Might have a bruise in the morning. Got slapped for being too slow in hugging the floor.”
“Dicks,” Ink grunted. “Ama’s okay.”
“I saw.” I rubbed my chin. “You think she wouldn’t be?”
He winced. “Maybe.”
Slapping him on the back, I told him, “She’s stronger than you think.”
“I know. I’m learning.” He blew out a breath. “Let’s get this shit on the road. Fucking asshats will have made another goddamn mess.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
Ink went to rejoin the council, while I left to go and help with the cleanup, knowing I’d get a text when it was time for church.
As I waded through the mess the cops had made—like destroying perfectly good leather sofas just for shits and giggles when they had to know we wouldn’t be dumb enough to hide our gear there—I realized how fucking lucky Keys was to be in the hospital with Ama. I’d have taken guard duty again over this crap.
When, forty minutes later, we got the text, we dropped everything—our overflowing black bags—and headed down to the basement.
With its concrete floors and unpainted walls, there was no decoration in here except for the Rebels’ logo on the wall behind the council table. The skeleton smoking a cigarette had been spray-painted there a long while ago by a brother who was currently serving life in Rikers, but it summed up what this room was—business only.
With over two hundred chairs in here, all of them filled, it was crowded, but I could still see the council table, which sat catty-corner to the room. Wheels, Ink, Wolfe, Lucie, Axe, Flame, and Dagger were all there, most of them with serious expressions lining their faces. Well, except for Flame—his, as usual, was just blank.
Wolfe wasn’t at his usual position at the head of the table. Instead, he’d pressed his ass to the side of the table, had his legs crossed at the ankles, and his arms folded over his chest.
When everyone had taken a seat, he stated, “Church has begun.” Then, he sighed and said, “Thanks to the last raid, shit’s been kept tight. We’ve had several emergency churches and were due to call a general church in the upcoming days, but things have been expedited.” Another sigh. “You might have seen Kenzie being hauled off by the cops.”
“What did they arrest her for?” someone hollered from the back.
Wolfe raised a hand. “Let me speak and then I’ll take questions.”
I already knew the answer, had heard it from Keys himself.
“She betrayed us, brothers.”
The surge of outrage that soared from my brothers was overwhelming and understandable. I lifted my boot, pressed it to my seat, and leaned my chin on my knee as the cacophony of outrage poured from the men.
We took this shit seriously.
The last time we’d had a rat, it had been back when Lucie had first arrived. That was a long ass time, but not long enough to suit us.
“Enough!” Wolfe roared. “I get it. I do. I’m fucking pissed over it as well. But she’s gone now, and you’re under orders to detain her and return her to the compound if you see her, you got me?” The sudden silence was a declaration in itself.
If Kenzie was stupid enough not to get the fuck out of Texas, she was a dead woman walking.
“She’s the reason for the raids on the clubhouse. And, prior to her return, on that very day, a shipment of ours was taken into custody because the Knights’ run was intercepted—she was to blame for that. She’s got a lot to answer for, but we have bigger problems to deal with. You all saw John Wayne out there.”
“The guy with the spurs?” Hurt called out, making everyone snicker.
“Yeah, well, king dick was on at me the second he could. He knows about our factory and he wants a piece.”
The hush was instant.
“Fuck,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Now, his terms aren’t unfair. Surprisingly,” he muttered. “He’s willing to pay market value for them, but he wants a cut of sales to other buyers. Again, not a bad rate. Five percent.” He scrubbed his hand over his jaw. “He says that we won’t get raided, something he can apparently guarantee which we all know is BS, but he said if we don’t cooperate, we can get used to weekly raids.”
The grumbles that stirred were heartfelt. No one wanted to be picking shit up every week like we were doing today.
“Okay, thoughts. I’m throwing this to all of you because it’s for everyone to decide. This ain’t just on me, ya hear?”
“Sounds like entrapment to me,” Bear grumbled. “I mean, fuck, it’s too good to be true. Why ain’t he asking for more than five percent?”
“Because we’d tell him where to shove it?” BB hollered back. “He’s got us over a barrel, but we could always disband if he pushed us too far.”
“Disbanding? The fuck?” Red growled. “Why you talking about disbanding?”
And the argument carried on for a good five minutes. I watched the council, saw each of them were blank-faced as they let the brothers wear themselves out, but Lucie? She was the one who looked the most pissed.
I wasn’t surprised when she wolf-whistled loud enough to draw everyone’s attention.
“Shut the fuck up,” she snarled, slamming to her feet, her hands on the table as she leaned over it to glower at everyone. “Arguing like fools isn’t going to get us anywhere, assholes. We need to think about this with our big brains, not our little ones.”
Though most grumbled, as could be expected where she was concerned, everyone kept their mouth shut and their heads low.
“His terms aren’t that bad. What concerns me is that he could be setting us up. We need to figure out a way to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
I raised a hand. When she saw me, she cocked a brow and motioned for me to stand.
“We need to blackmail him back.”
Lucie tilted her head to the side. “I’m listening.”
“See his ring? He’s married.” I smirked. “See how he was eying up the sweetbutts when they were herded into the outhouse?”
Wolfe grinned. “I like me some honey traps.”
Lucie folded her arms over her chest. “Take pictures, use them… What if he doesn’t like his wife? What if he’s ready for a divorce?”
“Did you see what he wore on his wrist? Next to his watch?”
“Enlighten me,” Lucie retorted.
“He had a friendship bracelet. You know, one of those bracelets made out of cotton thread? Unless he’s pals on the regular with little kids, I’d imagine he has a daughter.” I shrugged. “Whether he likes the wife or not, usually, they don’t want to break up a marriage if they have kids.”
She drummed her nails against her forearm. “Okay, we need to set a few guys on his tail. See what his situation is. Then we can approach this a little more fairly.” Her nod of approval had me grinning a little as I took a seat again.
My suggestion wasn’t rocket science, but hell, if it worked and helped us out? It was all for the good.
❖
Ama
When I yawned, my whole body vibrated because, Jesus, I was tired. With all my men out somewhere, I stared at the bed with discomfort.
In the short while I’d been sleeping with them, I’d grown used to sleeping in a bed and I didn’t like the alternative. But without them here, it didn’t matter how exhausted I was, sleep wasn’t going to visit me if I felt vulnerable.
With a grunt, I grabbed a pillow and dropped to my knees. Lifting the bed skirt that went around the base, I sighed with relief when I saw it wasn’t a baseboard and shimmied underneath. It said a lot about how secure I’d been feeling that I hadn’t checked that out earlier—the thought alone took me aback as I settled under the bed, horizontally, so that one side of me was protected by the wall.
Placing the pillow at my back, I dug out the two possessions I carried with me at all times, the small pistol my dad had given me, and my cell. Settling them within my line of sight, I curled onto my side, rested my hands under my head, and allowed myself to rest.
It wasn’t the same without the three of them here. I was slowly getting used to their furnace-like warmth, even in this heat, and I liked the fact I was safely tucked between them. They’d never let anything happen to me. I was literally in bed with my saviors…
Except now.
The first time without any of them in over three weeks.
Funny how you could get used to something so swiftly, especially when you needed it desperately to feel safe when you were at your most vulnerable.
Still, I managed to rest, and when Aaron visited me that afternoon, after a full night and morning of being stuck at the hospital with a sweetbutt who hated me, I was too tired to do much more than let him stand over me. Dripping blood and brain matter everywhere. Covering me in it like paint.
My breathing grew shallow as the panic set in. I could feel my senses overtaking me, making me incredibly sensitive to everything he was doing. When blood splashed on my leg, it felt like a bomb was dropped onto my flesh. The sound made my ears ache, and it was loud enough to wake me up with a bang.
Hip hurting from sleeping on the carpet, I rolled onto my back and tried to fall asleep again.
Somewhere between wakefulness and sleep, I heard him.
It was so faint, if Aaron’s presence hadn’t made me hyperaware, I might not have heard him, but when I did, tears wet my eyes.
“Daddy,” I breathed.
It’s me, baby.
“Where have you been?” I whispered, easily remembering his promise to never stop watching over me.
Couldn’t get through to you. His voice sounded weak, like it was weaving in and out as if we had a bad connection. Made sure you were safe w— Silence. I could. Three protectors. They’ll—
When he broke off again, I wanted to scream. What kind of hell was this? Hearing from my daddy after all these years, and then missing half of the conversation thanks to a faulty fucking connection?
“Daddy? Where are you? Are you safe? Are you happy?” I breathed.
I’m safe. Waiting on my family, but none of you will be here for a long—Want you—happy, baby. Be happy for me. They love you. They’ll—safe. No one can touch you with—
Silence.
My eyes burned with tears
.
Was that the last time I’d hear from Daddy Ryan?
I stared up at the board that propped the mattress up. All around me were dust motes from where I needed to vacuum under here—oops—but my eyes were itching for a whole different reason.
I wasn’t sure where my momma was, but I needed to hear from her. Needed her voice to settle me.
Grabbing my cell, I dialed her number, then waited for her to answer. Putting the phone beside me on speaker, I sighed when she answered, “Hey, baby, you okay?” Then, when I didn’t reply fast enough, she peppered, “Ama?”
“Momma, I love you.”
“I know you do, baby. I love you, too. What’s wrong? Did one of those SOB’s hurt you? You just tell me which and I’ll knee them in the—”
“Momma!” I chided. “No! They’ve done nothing. I’m just… they’re all busy.”
“So?”
“Well, I wanted to sleep. It’s been a long day.”
“It has,” she said with a sigh. “How’s Bubbles?”
“She’s okay, but she lost the baby,” I told her sadly. “Jinx was devastated when he made it to the clinic after church. I think—” Wincing, I whispered, “I think he was sadder than she was.”
“Not surprised. That whole thing there was a clusterfuck.”
“You sound sad.” I knew my momma, and sympathy for the sweetbutts wasn’t something I often heard in her voice.
“I am. That baby did nothing wrong. If I thought it would go anywhere, I’d tell her to sue the ATF for mistreatment. It’s their fault—”
“I don’t think she was looking after herself. I heard what the doctor said. She wasn’t eating right, and she’d been taking none of the vitamins you need… For how long she’d been carrying, the baby was too small.”
“Then I’m even sadder for the child and hate that bitch even more.” Lucie grunted. “Anyway, what’s wrong?”
“Do you ever—” I broke off, unsure of what to say, how to phrase this. “Have you ever heard Daddy Ryan’s voice in your head?”
When Momma just fell quiet, I wasn’t sure what to think, then, she stunned me by admitting, “A long time ago, sure. I heard him all the time. After he died, I went to pieces, baby. You needed me and I let you down for a little while. I was sleeping all the time, and just… I needed some direction. He was the one who told me it was time to come home.
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