She now wore three rings, one for each of us, and they were her version of a fidget spinner. I always got a kick out of watching her fiddle with them, because I knew they grounded her.
When I placed the briefcase on the desk, I told her, “Come and open it.”
Her scowl was suspicious, but that was because the dumbass, Keys, had given her a gift on Valentine’s this year that had shot ketchup in her fucking face.
I’d cheered her on when she’d punched him in the shoulder for terrifying her, and of course I’d blamed him when she’d broken her pinkie finger too.
“No ketchup was harmed in the making of this gift,” Saint teased from his spot over in the booth where he had his legs up on the banquette. Idiot had broken his leg two weeks ago, and had been bitching about the itch ever since. I almost thought the itch was bothering him more than the break, but having worn a cast in June before, I felt his pain.
“Oh.” That spurred her on and when she opened the case, her eyes widened. “The fuck?”
“These are our earnings from the last three runs, aside from what we paid to cover our costs at the house,” I explained.
She frowned. “So?”
“So… there’s three years’ worth of tuition here.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Huh?”
Keys rolled off the bed, and she shot him a glare. “Don’t move, I ain’t finished with you yet.”
He didn’t obey, instead moving over to her side and slinging an arm across her shoulders. From his pocket, with his free hand, he retrieved a letter. When he passed it to her, she stared at him then at it, and began reading.
“You didn’t.”
“We did,” he countered. “You’re ready.”
She blinked up at him, then owlishly gaped at me and over at Saint too. “I’m not going anywhere without you.”
“We know. We’re coming too.”
Ama shook her head again. “This is too much.”
I wasn’t surprised when she ducked out from under Keys’ arm and squatted on the ground, before falling back on her ass and leaning against the reception desk.
He crouched down in front of her and I did too. Bookending her on either side, letting her know we were here, and we weren’t going anywhere.
“You’re ready,” I repeated.
“I’m not.”
“You went to Vegas,” Saint called out, and that he’d sat up and was scowling told me how much he hated being out of this. I got it too. She needed the three of us less than she had before, but more in a different way now.
She had the nightmares still, but the night terrors were fewer and far between. She could nap without hiding out under the bed, and had developed a mouth on her that would rival her momma’s someday.
But she was still our Ama.
Still our saint cloaked in a sinner’s clothes.
“I did, but this? I mean, it’s so far, and I’m happy here!”
“You can be happy here again after,” I countered, reaching out and grabbing her hand. I fiddled with her rings as I said, “We’ll come back after you graduate. It ain’t forever.”
“What about the MC?”
“What about how we live says that the MC is more important to us than you are?” Keys rasped.
“It’s four years!”
I shrugged. “So?”
“What about this place?”
“It will be here when we come back,” I repeated. “And nothing says we can’t open something up there too. We’ve been getting international attention, babes. I think they’ll follow us wherever we go.”
Her eyes were wide, startled, and unsure as she stared at me. “When did you do this?”
“A few months back. We explained the situation, and told them we understood the scholarship was no more. Showed them your portfolio, asked if they’d let you in again. They said yeah. We have the money, and your fathers gave us the okay to take a step away so you could attend—”
“It’s too much,” she breathed again, staring down at the acceptance letter. “Rhode Island is so far away.”
“Ain’t you realized yet, baby girl? Home is where we are,” Keys growled.
She stared at him for so long I started to worry, then her breathing leveled out. “You’re right. You’re my home. Not Rutherford, not the MC.”
“That’s right,” I told her gruffly.
And I wasn’t surprised at the clunking noise of Saint’s cast as he finally scrambled off the bench in the booth and made it over.
She stared up at him. “Are you sure?”
“Positive,” he replied.
“One-hundred percent,” was all I said.
“Without a doubt,” Keys murmured.
She gulped, looked down at the letter, and her eyes moved as she read the acceptance note once more.
Then, her smile appeared, and like the sun peering out from behind the clouds, she bathed us in her warmth as she whispered, “I’m going to college.”
The End … Or is it?
Read on…
Lucie
Present Day (ALL SINNER NO SAINT EXCLUSIVE)
“Stop that.”
My lips twitched as Flame tried to shove my hand away, but I persisted. “If you cleaned your cut from time to time, I wouldn’t have to do it for you.”
He squinted at me. “Cuts are supposed to be dirty.”
“Since fucking when?” I rumbled, glaring at him. “Is that in the MC code?”
“Yeah. You don’t get to see it because it’s for dick-owners only.”
“You mean just dicks?” I retorted, but I carried on soaping down his leather cut. “There’s no way in fuck I’m letting you go to this goddamn ceremony with blood spatter on the leather. Ama wants this to be special. You covered in a corpse’s lifeblood doesn’t scream special to me.”
He huffed. “You’re going to ruin it.”
“I’ll oil it later,” I promised, keeping my chin tucked down as I worked a little too hard on cleaning him up.
Smartass figured out there was a reason behind my mania, though. His hand came up to my chin. “Hey.” When I didn’t look up at him, he rasped again, “Hey.”
My throat was a little thick, and it was stupid because I wasn’t a watering pot, but fuck. Ama was already married, so I had no idea why this ceremony was getting to me as much as it was but… God, they’d been through so much already.
“This fucking life,” I whispered, and uncaring about the small suds on the leather, I pushed my nose into it, burying my face in him. When his hands came up to grip me around the waist, I heaved out a breath, and let my arms move to circle him.
“They’ll be okay.”
“I know they will. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“This was your path and it’s hers.”
My brow puckered. “I hate how you know me so well.”
I could feel his lips quirk up against my cheek. “That’s not supposed to be a bad thing.”
“Well, in this instance, it is.” I heaved a sigh. “I can’t help but think—”
“Think, what?” Dagger whispered, slipping behind me and sandwiching me between both my men. “Think that this shouldn’t be? That we, as a unit, shouldn’t have come together? That the boys shouldn’t exist?” I tensed at that. “That’s what you’re saying,” he rumbled. “You’re saying that if you’d stayed away all those years ago, hadn’t come back to Rutherford, that everything would have worked out differently. But you were always destined to come back here, and she was always destined to meet her men in the MC.”
“Couldn’t she have married a fucking lawyer?” I half-cried. “Instead, she has to go for our trigger man?”
“Ink’s good with a gun. Be it ink or rifle.” Flame shrugged. “But he’s even better with her. You know that. You know how she depends on him—”
“I do, and that’s what scares me. I know she can’t sleep without him. Hell, all those years of her sneaking around just to get some rest?” I shook my head, feeling
my ponytail whisper against Dagger’s cut behind me. “She depends on them all more than I ever depended on you.”
Wolfe snorted. “Since when don’t you depend on us?”
Peering out from my space, I glowered at him. He was on the sofa, on his laptop going through some work before we headed into the ceremony.
My mania was triple fold.
Things were getting complicated in our world.
After things had gone to shit with Ama in Rhode Island, we were now at war with the Famiglia in New York, and as a result, we were tied in with the Five Points’ Mob. Eoghan, Aidan O’Donnelly’s son, was actually attending today’s ceremony with his wife, and we were using the celebration as a means of discussing business.
Ten years Wolfe had promised the Five Points we’d work with them. But for the help they’d given us? We’d have done anything.
Crossed every fucking river, climbed every mountain.
That was what you did for your babies.
Especially when you’d already let them down once in their life.
The reason Ama was fucked up was our fault. That Ink was cut up like Frankenstein was something else we could lay at the MC’s door.
Fuck.
This life.
I loved my men, loved the world we’d created together, the family that wasn’t just us and our kids but the entire club, but fuck, what I’d give to protect Ama from the harm that had befallen her.
My stomach twisted as I focused on Wolfe whose gaze hadn’t even lifted from the computer at my words. Beside him, Axe was looking at me. He had papers on his knees, but his gaze was on mine. I could see his concern. Feel it.
Wolfe, in all these years, hadn’t changed that much. He was still a prick sometimes. The only time he was soft was with me and Ama, but when he said I was being sentimental, he had no patience. Lucky for me, I had three other guys who’d pander to me when I was feeling emotional.
Hey, what about me?
The soft voice in my ear was one I hadn’t heard in too long. I had whispers of it now and then, like when things had gone to shit up in New York, Ry had told me it would work out. That Ama and her man would be okay. But to feel him here? Now?
God, it just cemented things for me.
My men.
My heart.
From this life into the next.
I squeezed Flame and whispered, “I just want to protect her. I thought she’d be safe in Rhode Island.”
“She is. It was Ink who wasn’t,” Flame replied, ever pragmatic.
Even though his statement irritated me, I wrinkled my nose because he was right. Then, I declared, “You’re never letting him take another job—”
Wolfe snorted. “You think you need to tell me that?”
Some of my tension dispersed. A part of me had felt certain I’d have a fight on my hands on that score. Where business was concerned, all the brothers were surprisingly thick-headed. While we’d stopped with the murder-for-hire game years back, Ink was good at what he did, and some of the other brothers were too. I understood that if a request came in, a specific one, asking for someone with special skills, and the money was too good to turn down, it was hard to back away from the deal.
But fuck.
They should have made Ink stop taking the deals. Shit had changed when Ama, Saint, Keys and Ink had moved North for her schooling, priorities had shifted, but our daughter’s mental health? Yeah, that was always going to be precarious.
“Stop worrying,” Flame whispered in my ear.
“I can’t help it,” I whispered, the words more wobbly than I’d have liked.
He squeezed me, and when Dagger did too, it made me smile because it actually hurt, but I was so used to it now that it just felt good.
“Come on. We need to head out,” Dagger murmured. “They’ll be gathering soon.”
“I don’t know why they’re doing it this way,” Flame complained. “It’s not like it’s legal.”
I snorted. “You can’t understand why she’d feel the need to tie them all together spiritually?”
Axe sighed. “She’s turning into a hippy.”
My lips twitched into a grin. “Ha, that sounds about right. I’m glad. She needed to chill out. If she starts—”
“Don’t need to think about her free-loving,” Dagger complained before I could say a word.
I snickered. “You knew about that before.”
“Don’t need the reminder.”
“She’s our baby girl,” Axe agreed.
“Never not gonna be our angel,” Wolfe confirmed, making my heart goddamn ping in my chest.
Throat tighter than ever now with the need to fucking sob, I barely refrained, and only did because I’d spent ages on my goddamn make-up.
I wasn’t about to have some fancy ass fuck from the Mob come down here and think we were a bunch of hicks. According to Ama, Eoghan and Inessa O’Donnelly weren’t schmucks, but shit, I had to represent us well, didn’t I?
That meant I looked a little fancy for the hobo vibes Ama was aiming for with this ceremony of hers.
My maxi dress was pretty—the guys didn’t know it had cost me over a grand, but it made my tits look epic so who were they to complain? The rich cyan danced around my legs in a way that was definitely weird for me. I was used to jeans and shorts, simple tees, not fucking dresses, but again, I had to represent. I wore raw rose quartz studs that Flame had bought me for Christmas a few years back, and my watch was a vintage Rolex that Dagger had brought me for a birthday gift last year.
Everything I wore was expensive, and yet I still knew the snooty Yankees would thumb their nose at me.
Irritation welled inside me at the thought, but I sucked it down and sucked it up.
They’d helped us when we needed them, and they were here to cement ties even further.
“Why’d you tense up?” Flame asked.
“She’s preparing herself for war,” Wolfe replied dryly, and I shot him a look, irritated that he, too, could read me so fucking well.
Huffing, I muttered, “I just know the Mob boss is going to look down his nose at us.”
“Do you really care if they do?”
“This is my home, Dagger. My world. My family. For fuck’s sake, of course I care.” Though I rolled my eyes, I shoved out of their hold, and muttered, “Game on.”
I heard their laughter as I strolled out of the office where we’d been meeting, but as I did, I hollered, “Flame, fix your fucking cut.” No way was he attending with that fucker covered in blood.
Heaving out a sigh, I headed outside. Everyone was there, helping out. It reminded me of the parts I loved about the life. Sure, there were a little more blood-and-guts than I’d have liked, but fuck, wasn’t that everywhere?
Death was the only constant, after all.
Don’t be so grim. It’s a good day. She’ll feel better after this. You know what she’s like. Liked everything in its proper place.
So people didn’t think I was nuts—more than the regular amount of nuts, at any rate—I barely moved my mouth as I replied, “Hasn’t changed all that much in all this time, Ry. Glad you know her. Just wish she knew you better.”
Oh, I have my ways.
“Fuck, I want to cry again,” I whispered, touched at the thought of him helping Ama, getting her through shit when she wouldn’t let anyone else in.
“Momma?”
Quickly blinking, I turned to my son. The little fucker was turning into a dead ringer for Flame with his bright red hair. Both my kids had that mop of fire, but Matty owned it. Seamus tended to have a buzz cut because he said he was going to have to get used to it—I knew he was heading for the Army the second he could.
Fuck.
That was the last thing I needed to be worrying about.
I reached up and shoved my fingers through Matty’s mop. The waves were all over the place, but I’d seen the women eying him up. Let’s just say both sons took after their dad. Fucking sluts wanted a piece of them, and I already kne
w far too much because Flame would tell me anything I asked even if I didn’t want to know the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
This life… motherfucker.
What kind of dad took their sons to a fucking strip joint at fourteen?
My sons’ dads. That was who.
So fucking wrong, but they’d done it, and they’d do it again with the baby in my belly—a baby none of them knew about yet.
Hence the fucking maxi dress. Had to hide my pooch somehow, didn’t I?
“Leave it alone, Ma,” Matty grumbled, instantly messing up the waves of hair again.
I scowled at him. “You’re going to brush it for the photos, aren’t you?”
He groused. “It is brushed.”
Eying it like I’d done the last time he had lice, I squinted at him. “Doesn’t look it to me.”
“What’s wrong? You looked like you were crying.”
I shrugged. “Emotional day.”
“You don’t cry,” he muttered, sounding surprised by my admission.
“Yeah, well, I ain’t a fucking monster, son. I cry sometimes. Especially on days like today.”
He pursed his lips. “I should get D-Flame.”
The whole four fathers thing was more complicated with my sons who refused, unlike Ama, to call them ‘Daddy Flame, Daddy Wolfe etc.’ So they’d come up with a compromise.
D-Dagger, D-Axe.
I had one thing to say to that—FML.
“I don’t need anyone hovering around me. A mother is allowed to get teary-eyed on her baby girl’s special day!” I groused, then I shooed my hands at him. “Go on, brush your fucking hair, then come and help with the chairs.”
Though he glared, when I glared back, his shoulders immediately hunched around his ears like he knew I’d box them—and I would. He wasn’t too old for that shit—before he scuttled away.
Wonder if it’s another girl.
“I hope so. Can’t stand another man around the place.”
You’d love it.
My lips twitched. “Of course I would. Didn’t think I’d be having a baby this late.”
You’re not exactly ancient.
“No. But I’ve had three. Thought that was enough. Hope it’s Axe or Dagger’s. That’d be nice. Flame always did like to turbocharge shit. He’s already my baby daddy twice over, doesn’t need to be three times.”
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