by Lee Monroe
I stared at him, seeing the faint tic in his cheek.
‘You think of it as giving up?’
His mouth split into a broad smile then. ‘It’s a theory … And well, it’s true. It doesn’t mean I think it’s wrong.’
‘Everybody here is so … repressed.’ I said. ‘I mean … like they’re acting unnaturally.’
Soren stopped. ‘That’s exactly what it is,’ he said quietly. ‘Unnatural … But they have made a choice not to be “natural” – not to exercise their powers. Just like we all do … We choose to love, we choose not to.’
‘I don’t think you can choose.’ I shook my head. ‘I think it takes you over.’
‘Nonsense.’ Soren started walking again. ‘We do what we want, we make choices … Sometimes, knowing they’re wrong. We could stop. But we don’t. We just forge on ahead because desire takes over.’
‘Hmm.’ I sniffed. ‘I’m not so sure about that.’
Soren took my arm, but I was arrested by someone unpleasantly familiar.
‘Luca’s brother,’ I whispered. ‘See … over by that store?’
We squinted at a cluster of boys standing outside a shop front. One of them detached from the group. Dark-haired, lanky.
‘Lowe,’ I said, trying to stop Soren from moving forward. ‘He can’t see me … We have to go back.’
‘Just let me do the talking,’ Soren said, squeezing my arm. ‘Trust me. And perhaps it will do no harm for Luca to learn that you are back here … with a handsome stranger like myself.’
‘Not a good time for jokes,’ I said, glowering at him.
‘But seriously. This is fortuitous when you think of it,’ he said thoughtfully.
I knew it would be seconds before Lowe saw me, and my insides tensed. I wanted to run away, to forget the whole thing. But it was too late – he had seen me. I could see him, staring up at us as we approached.
Soren was half dragging me down the cobbled hill. I could feel my heart beginning to speed up.
Lowe was regarding Soren with deep suspicion. He stepped forwards, and I could see he had grown in the months since I’d seen him last. He looked just like Henora; haughty, authoratitive. Outraged
‘You don’t belong here,’ he said angrily. ‘I don’t know who this is—’ He pointed at Soren. ‘But you need to go back – there is nothing for you here.’
I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn’t find the right explanation.
Soren’s hand tightened on mine.
‘I would watch what you say,’ he told Lowe, his voice suddenly like ice, ‘if you have any sense.’
Lowe’s expression was of familiar disdain. ‘Really?’ he drawled. ‘I’ve never seen you before in my life. But her’ – he glared at me – ‘she has caused enough trouble for my family as it is. Yet here she is again … it’s pathetic.’
‘I am staying with some good friends of mine,’ said Soren. ‘And Jane is here as my guest.’
A flicker of confusion passed over Lowe’s face. He was clearly trying to work out what the hell was going on. But he composed himself, always fearful of not having the upper hand.
‘You do know she is mortal?’ he told Soren.
Soren simply smiled, making a bit of a show of keeping hold of my hand. I remained silent, not daring to show my fear. Or my unhappiness that it had come to this.
‘What’s the matter, Jane? You can’t speak for yourself?’ Lowe glanced around at his friends, who gawped at us as though we were animals in the zoo.
‘I am not here to cause trouble,’ I said finding my voice. ‘You needn’t worry about that …’
Lowe had stepped closer to us, he was scrutinising Soren, perplexed.
‘What are you?’ he said. ‘Are you wolf? How is it that you have friends on Nissilum?’
‘I am whatever you want me to be,’ replied Soren mysteriously. ‘Does it matter?’
I looked sideways at him. He seemed perfectly relaxed, except for that tic in his cheek.
Lowe leaned forward wolfishly, his muscles tense, a low growling in his throat … Then slowly, recovering himself, he stepped back again. ‘I’ll find out,’ he said, before turning to me. ‘You’d better keep out of my family’s way. Luca is happy. He is going to marry Lila. There’s nothing you can do to stop it. He doesn’t love you. Never has.’
‘I …’ I felt my eyes fill up with tears. Even though I was used to Lowe’s malice, his words stung. And deep inside I felt they could be true. If Luca had loved me, if he really felt the way he told me all those months ago … would he have just left me like this?
‘The truth hurts, doesn’t it?’ Lowe added nastily. ‘So, why don’t you just scuttle off back to your own world? And take this interloper with you.’
I jerked forward angrily. But Soren quickly grabbed my arm.
‘Rise above it,’ he said quietly. ‘The boy is an idiot.’
Lowe glowered at us as Lowe gently guided me past him. His eyes followed us and even with my back to him I could feel them boring into me.
Soren didn’t take his hand off my arm until we were safely at a distance from Lowe and his friends, and I could see the fields and trees beyond the town.
‘So. Luca’s brother,’ he said, grimacing. ‘Nasty bit of work, isn’t he?’
‘He’s a little over-protective,’ I said, not sure why I was defending Lowe. He certainly wouldn’t do the same for me.
Soren chuckled. ‘He’s a brat. And somehow I doubt his motives are altruistic. I’d place a bet that the boy was born a troublemaker.’
I nodded. ‘He and Luca don’t get on. It’s like Lowe just wants to spoil everybody’s fun.’
Ahead of us, the sun was now settled in the sky, beaming its rays out across the acres of green fields. I sighed, strangely content.
‘It’s so beautiful here, so perfect.’ I breathed in the pure air.
‘A little too perfect.’ Soren made a face. ‘Not my thing … probably why I left. I prefer my surroundings a little grimier, like the dark alleys of Paris at night … I never trust perfection. You shouldn’t either.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Meaning that to truly love someone you have to see their flaws. See the dark side. The things you don’t like.’
‘I guess. I’ve certainly seen another side to Luca.’ I remembered that day at his engagement party … his resolute coldness to me. I shuddered at the memory, but a part of me felt perversely relieved that he had the power to hurt me. It meant somehow that he was more human than I thought.
‘Where are we going?’ I said, coming out of my reverie.
‘For a walk …’ Soren lifted his chin. ‘Nowhere special.’
At that moment the unmistakeable sound of horses’ hooves thundered into our idyll. I glanced around me and there, through a large palatial-looking set of gates, were four riders.
At the sight of us the horses slowed, approaching cautiously, and as they came closer I recognised the blond curls, the arrogant demeanour of Raphael … Or Evan, as I had known him.
It was the first time I had seen Raphael since that awful rainy night in the abandoned air field back home. My insides tightened as I felt myself recoiling from this situation.
Next to Raphael were two boys I didn’t recognise but who were identical. Twins. But the fourth rider was unmistakeable. Choppy dark hair, a long slender body.
Luca was riding with Raphael as though nothing had ever passed between them.
The horses came forward noisily and my breath caught in my throat. I instinctively moved to stand behind Soren, not wanting to be seen – but it was hopeless.
Raphael dismounted, then stood, gazing at the two of us. In front of me I felt Soren tense.
Finally, somebody spoke.
‘What is your business here?’ Raphael addressed Soren, and I stepped out so that I was in full view.
‘And you?’ Raphael raised an eyebrow. ‘Jane?’
I couldn’t bring myself to speak, I just stared, glad that I was not alone. Thou
gh he was unrecognisable as Evan – the boy he had pretended to be to seduce me – there was a familiar hardness in his tone.
‘It’s all right,’ Soren whispered, though still looking at the boy.
‘Again, what are you doing here?’ Raphael studied Soren from head to foot. ‘I would surely remember seeing you before …’
Behind Raphael, I sensed that the others were as curious, though I didn’t dare look to see Luca’s face. I was already beginning to feel guilty about what I was doing here.
‘I am visiting,’ Soren replied calmly, ‘with some … acquaintances of mine.’
‘Not her,’ Raphael said rudely, gesturing at me. ‘She does not live here …’
Finally I allowed my eyes to drift beyond Raphael to Luca, astride his horse. From this distance I couldn’t read his expression, couldn’t see his green eyes. swallowed nervously.
‘I am visiting with the Borgias,’ Soren said. ‘And what business of it is yours, anyway?’
Raphael turned back to Luca, whose face registered shock at Soren’s words and I distinctly saw his body jerk a little and seem to expand. Was that a flare of something in those eyes? I willed him to look at me but he wouldn’t. Instead he dropped his head, his hands clutching the horse’s reins tighter.
Raphael had turned back, his full attention on Soren now. I remembered the boy he had been – Evan. But that had been a different boy. Literally. And now Raphael was back, behaving as though he and I had never met. It didn’t bother me. Not really. But it was all part of the strange power of, Nissilum. A place where crimes such as Raphael’s could apparently be forgiven.
But then I noticed how pale he was. His handsome face gaunt, his eyes blank. Perhaps I was wrong.
‘You are here to cause trouble?’ Raphael asked Soren, and something about his tone was hopeful, I noticed. He looked perfectly composed, without emotion.
Soren shrugged. ‘No. We are just going for a walk.’
Raphael’s horse pawed the ground restlessly and he reached out to take its reins.
‘Interesting,’ he said, eyeing Soren. ‘I sense … a renegade in our midst.’
‘Takes one to know one,’ Soren replied, provocatively.
There was a slight hesitation before Raphael’s face cracked into a broad grin.
Soren was unruffled. ‘Terrifying,’ he murmured. If Raphael had heard, he didn’t respond. For some reason I had the urge to laugh – at all this posturing. A gang of boys flexing their muscles. I guessed some things really were universal.
I smiled weakly, but my eyes were still trained on Luca, who had come a little closer and who returned my gaze. His mouth was set impassively. Not a smile, barely even a flicker of recognition. I stared, wanting to see him acknowledge me and, as I studied his face, I noticed his eyes. Sad, with a sheen of something that could have been tears. He blinked at me and I saw it. That familiar softness. But in a second it was gone, and he moved his face away to look at Soren. Now his expression was hard, though he made no move to dismount. No move to investigate.
Knowing I shouldn’t, I took a tentative step forward.
‘Luca,’ I called, ‘I didn’t … this isn’t …’ I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t prepared for this.
‘We must be on our way.’ Luca cut across me, speaking to Raphael. He pulled at at his horse’s rein and turned back towards the gate.
I stepped back and felt Soren’s hand on my back.
‘Be patient,’ he said softly. ‘I expected this.’
I realised that Raphael hadn’t moved and was watching the two of us – too far away to have heard Soren, I hoped.
Soren pulled me back protectively and cleared his throat.
‘Good to meet you, Raphael,’ he told the boy.
‘Likewise.’ Raphael nodded, before leading his horse closer so that he was almost nose to nose with Soren.
‘I know you are here to cause trouble,’ he whispered. ‘And I am watching you.’ His eyes flickered to me. ‘Both of you.’
All I could think was how little this boy resembled Evan. He had even changed physically. Still blond and blue-eyed, but his features were different.
Raphael tugged at his horse and turned to follow the others. I watched the back of Luca, astride his horse, hoping he would turn around, but he kept riding resolutely ahead, straight-backed, proud.
Soren waited until they were at a safe distance before turning to me.
‘Not so bad …’ He raised an eyebrow.
‘Did you see Luca,’ I said miserably, ‘how cold he was?’
Soren shook his head. ‘Of course he was. He has a front to keep up.’ He paused. ‘I have to say, I admire him for it…in a way.’
‘Me too.’ I suddenly felt my eyes swimming with tears. ‘Which makes it so much worse.’
‘Jane …’ Soren pulled me to him. ‘Hush now. Luca cannot keep it up for ever.’
‘But he will be married in a few weeks. As soon as that happens, it really will be over.’ I wiped my nose with my sleeve.
‘A lot can happen in a few weeks.’ Soren said soothingly. ‘Just be patient.’
‘The way he looked at me, like I was nothing … ’ I stared into the distance, trying to pick out Luca from the four riders, but they were too far away. ‘It was like I was a stranger.’ I tried to keep the panic, the sob out of my voice.
Soren rubbed his hands together. ‘I think now it is time for a plan.’
I looked at the side of his face: imperious, calculating. I wanted to feel the same way. If my feelings weren’t in the way, I could see clearly, think straight. Soren seemed to find it easy.
‘But don’t you feel scared that Lila will reject you, too?’ I asked him. ‘That what we’re doing will be for nothing?’
Soren smiled. ‘Worrying doesn’t change a situation … it will only make it worse.’ He put an arm around me. ‘This is our best bet.’
Somehow Soren had a way of making the impossible seem possible. I had to admit it was infectious.
‘So. What next?’ I asked him.
‘We up the ante,’ he said calmly. ‘We give Luca something to throw him off balance.’
‘Like?’ I dug my hands in my pockets.
‘Like jealousy,’ Soren said quietly. He regarded me with his black eyes, a little softer now. ‘And I know this is wrong … but I am going to enjoy making him jealous.’
I puffed out my cheeks. ‘Well, it’s going to be hell for me.’
‘I’ll try not to be insulted,’ he said, drawing up his shoulders. ‘I make a pretty good boyfriend when I put my mind to it.’
I tried to smile, but found myself wondering how Soren could be so chipper about what we were doing. He didn’t seem to feel any anxiety or sadness about Lila. Maybe I was being too sensitive? It was just a boy thing: covering up their real feelings. Or was it because he couldn’t care less about her, and I was somehow implicated in a warped plan that he and Vanya had cooked up between them? I didn’t think so, but I still didn’t completely trust Soren Balzac.
I couldn’t afford to.
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘Raphael was with them?’ Vanya set her glass down on the table. ‘He certainly seems to have ingratiated himself back with his old friends.’ She pursed her lips, considering something. ‘Clever boy, that one.’
I looked at her, not knowing what she meant.
‘He seemed very friendly … as friendly as he would be in that kind of situation.’ Soren leaned back in his chair.
‘Angelic manners, you see,’ Vanya replied with some distaste.
‘Odd, though.’ Soren narrowed his eyes. ‘He was almost welcoming. I am a total stranger. Quite possibly a threat …’
‘Well.’ Vanya smiled tightly at me. ‘Who knows what goes on in that boy’s head?’
I smiled tightly back, then glanced subtly down at my watch. It was half past four. Teatime. Who knew what time it was back home?
Vanya got up to get us some food, just as there was a loud hammering on the do
or. She stopped, glaring at the sound.
‘Who the devil can that be?’ she muttered. ‘Nobody visits us. Nobody likes us.’
Valdar, who had been intent on reading his paper, raised his head calmly.
‘Want me to get it, dear?’ he said smoothly.
Vanya sighed heavily. ‘Let’s just ignore it. Whoever it is, they’ll get the message.’
But the knocking grew louder and more persistent. Soren fidgeted in his seat.
‘It could be important,’ he told us. ‘I’ll deal with it.’
He moved quickly out of the room, to the now deafening sound coming from upstairs. Vanya got to her feet, gliding towards the doorway, craning her head up the stairs.
‘A man,’ she said quietly. ‘It sounds like—’
But the door was slammed shut, heavily, and Soren was coming back down.
‘Who was it?’ Vanya said, almost excitedly.
‘Just one of those boys …’ Soren glanced quickly at me, before smiling at her. ‘The ones that hang around in the town … some kind of prank.’
‘But I heard you talking to someone …’ Vanya frowned at him. ‘I’m sure I—’
‘I was shouting into thin air!’ Soren gave a forced kind of chuckle. ‘Whoever it was, they’d run off.’
I eyed him suspiciously. Something wasn’t quite right here.
‘Really,’ Vanya huffed. ‘How irritating.’
‘Soren,’ I said, getting to my feet, ‘can I have a word? Alone?’
‘What’s going on?’ I asked when we were safely alone upstairs. ‘Who was that at the door?’
Soren opened his mouth, but hesitated before speaking. ‘I told you … I didn’t see anyone.’
I stared at him, and eventually saw his eyes soften, and then he shrugged.
‘OK.’ He sighed. ‘It was Raphael.’
‘What? What did he want?’
‘I’m not really sure …’ Soren got up from the bed, on which we were both sitting. ‘He seems very interested in me.’
‘You’re a stranger. Maybe he is just doing what he thinks is his duty, checking you out?’ Even as I said it I knew that sounded unlikely.
‘Perhaps. There is something really quite odd about Raphael … I can’t put my finger on it.’ Soren looked thoughtful.