by Lee Monroe
Celeste paused, her pain visible in her eyes, before going on.
‘I was away for a day and a half…And when we returned I rushed to his room, hopeful that he would be calm and peaceful. Milo was standing guard outside and when he saw me approach, his whole face seemed to freeze in fear – he told me that Gabriel had gone … he had literally wasted away overnight.’
‘Yes – I know that he wasted away …’ Raphael could see how difficult she was finding this explanation, and it made his heart soften towards her, just a little. But he wanted the whole truth, the whole story, however hard it was for his great-mother to tell it.
‘I didn’t believe him at first and I must say I pushed past him and ran in to see for myself.’ She paused, taking a breath. ‘And there on the bed was what I took to be him: a collection of bones underneath a blanket.’
‘So you saw his bones?’ Raphael leaned forward. ‘It was true?’
‘I couldn’t bear to look …’ A tear slipped down on to her cheek. ‘I remember sinking on to the bed and sobbing. Thinking of you, a boy without his father, whose mother had gone … I suppose all that had happened over the years since Gabriel first broke down suddenly came upon me, like a great weight crashing down.’ She blinked at Raphael through her tears. ‘The next thing I remember was waking up with Cadmium at my side on the day of Gabriel’s ushering out ceremony.’
‘But what about my great-father, my mother, my aunts? Nobody saw for themselves that Gabriel was dead?’
She shook her head. ‘Nobody could face it. And then he was taken to the tombs and nobody visited. By that time you were starting to …’
‘Yes.’ Raphael nodded. ‘My own “madness” had begun.’
‘And when I did finally first visit the tombs – I saw that his was empty, and I just left and never told a soul. I pretended to the family that all was well. Cadmium refused to talk about Gabriel … I knew he would never go there. Dear old Quin was practically jubilant at the sight of me. Clearly nobody else had been there. The only one who knew was me …’
‘And Milo?’ Raphael pushed her. ‘Milo knew. Did you not try and find him when he went to live with his cousins in the South?’
She stared at me, and I knew. She had no idea where Milo was either.
‘They both just disappeared,’ she whispered, hoarsely now that her tears were coming thick and fast. ‘Just … gone.’
‘He could still be alive,’ said Raphael, trying hard to take it all in. ‘Somewhere … Gabriel is still alive.’
CHAPTER TWENTY
When I woke up the first thing I saw was the moon through the window. Translucent, shimmering, perfectly round. I looked at my clock, two a.m. I had gone to bed with that moon staring at me, and woken up to it. For months I had barely noticed it and now it seemed to be beckoning to me. All over again.
Careful not to wake my sleeping family, I drew back my quilt and softly crossed the room to the window.
It was a windy night, but milder than usual. I shrugged off the thick cardigan I had worn to bed and forgotten to take off. A tiny draught lifted the fine hair on my arms and outside the black-topped trees swayed rhythmically. The wind must be strong because it was as though the whole of the mountain was whispering. Just leaves hitting leaves, I told myself. But something felt different tonight … I felt a strange sensation. No, not strange … familiar. I had drifted in and out of sleep, things coming into my head … Not exactly a dream, but images. I wanted so badly to see Luca. But all I saw was fleeting. Black eyes. Not green. A thick green forest and the sound of breathing.
And a low wail. Like a wolf’s.
I lifted the window latch, pushing it open, feeling the slight nip of the difference in temperature. It felt cool, soothing, gentle fingertips stroking my arm. I shut my eyes, wanting to feel sleepy again.
‘Jane.’
My eyes snapped open, met a flash of a face. But was it him? Was I just making him up … and those unmistakeable mossy green eyes? I opened my mouth, but as I did so, he disappeared. Breathlessly, I leaned right out of the window, searching on the ground below. I didn’t imagine it, I knew. Someone had been there.
‘Luca,’ I whispered out into the night, ‘please. Don’t go.’
But I was met only with silence. The yard was deserted, the trees still gently swaying.
I closed the window, defeated, and as I moved away from it, I caught my reflection on the dressing table mirror. My hair was tangled and messy, and dark shadows lined my eyes. I looked terrible, like I hadn’t slept for months. All the happiness drained out of me.
I knew I would never sleep now. But I climbed back into bed, pulling the quilt over me, leaning back against the headrest.
Luca had not spoken to me for months, hadn’t contacted me through my dreams like he had all that time ago. And now, tonight … Was he trying to tell me something?
Or warn me?
Suddenly my heart was beating fast and adrenaline started to surge. Was Luca in trouble? Hugging my knees, I glanced again at the clock – only ten minutes had passed – and then my eyes fell on my phone. Flipping it open I scrolled through the numbers. I had barely used my phone since I’d got it … but I remembered the text from Soren, the creepy one he’d sent on the day I got it. Had I saved the number? Had there even been a number?
No. But the text was still there. Shaking my head, wondering if I was opening up a whole new can of worms, I pressed Reply.
WHERE ARE YOU?
I sent the message and snapped the phone shut. It was the middle of the night, who knows how long I’d have to wait for a reply. Slipping down in the bed I closed my eyes, willing myself to sleep, just as my phone beeped.
WHEREVER YOU WANT ME TO BE
Typical. I rolled my eyes as I texted back.
I THINK I NEED TO GO BACK. THIS ISN’T OVER YET.
I’d hardly sent it before his response flashed back on the screen.
I KNEW YOU’D COME ROUND. LET’S TALK IN THE MORNING.
Infuriating, yet I couldn’t help the smile that crept across my face.
OK I tapped back, before turning the light out.
As dubious as my trust in him was, Soren was my ticket back to Nissilum. My only chance.
Weaving my bike in and out through the college students standing around the main gates, I craned my neck to see Ashley and Emma deep in conversation, sitting on the wall.
It was time for a proper apology.
‘Hey,’ I said, dismounting. The girls looked up from their conversation. Ashley was aiming for cross, which just looked a little comical on her sweet face. Emma went for a half-smile, shrugging her delicate shoulders.
‘Listen … I know you think I’m rude and weird and … stuff,’ I began. ‘But I’m just a little touchy about boys at the moment.’
The twins glanced quickly at each other.
‘About Balzac?’ Ashley asked. ‘’Cause, we wouldn’t say anything …’
‘No … It’s not him. He’s just a teacher taking a special interest in my work … It’s … Well, I broke up with a guy a few months ago. I guess I’m not really over him yet … I took it out on you two, I’m sorry.’
They simultaneously crossed their arms over their chests.
‘Apology accepted,’ they said in unison, before Ashley jumped down off the wall.
‘What happened?’ she asked, biting her lip. ‘Or don’t you want to talk about it?’
‘No. It’s OK. It’s a guy I was with for a few months … He lived a long way from here. Kind of a long-distance romance.’ I sighed. ‘I thought he was my soulmate, but his family kind of had other plans and … it didn’t work out.’ I smiled grimly. ‘But I still think about him. A lot.’
‘We’re sorry.’ Ashley looked back at Emma, whose doe-eyes focussed on me. ‘That must be awful.’ She flared her nostrils. ‘And what a loser! Dumping someone as pretty as you …’
‘It’s a bit more complicated than that—’ I began, but the girls moved to either side of me, linking th
eir arms through mine.
‘Who needs boys anyway?’ said Emma. ‘They just mess with your head.’ She gave my arm a little squeeze with hers. ‘You need someone older. More mature …’
‘Maybe you should give Balzac a chance?’ said Ashley casually. ‘I mean it’s obvious he so totally likes you.’
‘No.’ I shook my head, almost laughing. ‘He doesn’t. Not like that. Believe me.’ But I could see them exchanging looks behind my back.
‘If you say so,’ Ash replied. ‘But you could do a lot worse …’
‘Maybe.’ I wrinkled my nose, just as Soren rounded the south corner of the quad and headed straight in our direction. I tried to stop myself from going red.
‘I’m just going to lock my bike,’ I told the twins, before they clocked him. ‘I’ll see you at break?’
‘OK. But don’t you want to say hello to Mr Balzac first?’ said Emma, innocently. ‘It seems a little rude …’
‘He’ll survive,’ I said, turning off at the path to the cycle racks. ‘I’ll see you later.’
I had put some extra clothes in my rucksack, together with a toothbrush and all the things I had never thought to take to Nissilum before. I hadn’t needed them. I wanted to be more prepared this time. I shoved the key to the bike lock in a zip pocket.
‘So,’ came a voice behind me, ‘what’s happened to change your mind?’
I turned and rose up from my crouched position on the ground.
‘Hey,’ I said. ‘Thanks for … you know, replying to my message.’
‘Not a problem,’ he replied. ‘What’s going on?’
‘I just … I think Luca was trying to tell me something in my sleep,’ I said, ‘last night.’
‘Really?’ Soren nodded. ‘I must try that.’
‘Try what?’
‘Talking to you in your sleep.’
‘I thought the connection had been broken,’ I went on, ignoring him. ‘He hasn’t spoken to me for months. I think he is in trouble … Or something’s wrong.’
‘Are you sure it was him?’ Soren frowned.
‘Who else would it be? I didn’t … don’t have that connection with anyone else. I mean – it has to be him.’ I watched Soren’s expression turning anxious.
‘What? What’s the matter?’ I asked.
‘Nothing,’ he put on what looked very much like a fake smile. ‘Nothing’s wrong.’
‘Right. Because if you know something?’ I said, lifting my chin. ‘If—’
‘Jane. Jane … calm down. I am merely absorbing this latest turn in events,’ said Soren, giving what he thought was a reassuring smile. ‘I am as curious as you are.’
‘OK.’ I hoisted my rucksack on to my shoulder. ‘I told my mother I was spending the night with Ashley and Emma, so—’
‘Ashley and Emma?’ Soren stroked his chin. ‘Those two blonde creatures I saw you walk in with just now?’
‘Huge fans of yours,’ I said, warningly. ‘So, don’t knock them.’
‘I wasn’t going to …’ He held up a hand in protest. ‘They just don’t seem like the sort of girls you would be friendly with, that’s all.’
‘I … They’re not, I guess … But I’ve never actually had a friend before, so I’ll go with it.’ I shrugged. ‘They’re OK. If a little…’
‘Girly,’ he supplied. ‘And pink.’
I gave him a light shove. ‘Like I said, Soren, for some reason, those girls think the sun shines out of your—’
‘Yes, OK,’ he said dryly. ‘I understand. There is to be no mocking of the girly blonde twins.’
‘That’s right,’ I said imperiously, ‘because I need all the friends I can get right now.’
Soren looked at his watch. ‘Right, Ms Jonas. I will see you in class later on.’ As I walked past, he put a hand gently on my shoulder. ‘And I’m glad you have changed your mind. I am sure that this is a sign …’
‘I don’t know what it is. I just have an uneasy feeling,’ I said, quietly. ‘It’s just so out of the blue … Luca may not have chosen me, but if he’s in trouble, I have to go to him.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
‘I am simply asking how loyal you are,’ Raphael said. He took a swig out of the flask in his hands. ‘To the Celestial family.’
Lowe stood with his shoulders back. ‘I am a patriot,’ he told him. ‘As you know. I am deeply loyal.’
Raphael nodded. ‘And you would do anything I asked of you?’
‘Well …’ Lowe scratched his head. ‘Yes. I respect you, Raphael.’
‘Why is that?’ Raphael put down his flask, looking intently into the younger boy’s eyes.
‘Because … I think you have a backbone,’ said Lowe. ‘And you despise dishonesty.’
Raphael nodded. ‘Are you sure it is not because you are frightened?’
‘Frightened?’ Lowe looked confused. ‘Of course not. I am not afraid of anything!’
‘Perhaps I should have used a better word,’ Raphael said. ‘Threatened, for example?’
Lowe’s face clouded over. He looked confused and even more indignant.
‘Raffy,’ he said, ‘why are you being like this? I would do anything you asked of me.’
‘But you don’t really know who I am,’ Raphael went on mysteriously. He moved closer to the boy, their noses practically touching. ‘How can you be sure I am somebody who deserves devotion?’
Lowe was silent, but his body flinched a little.
‘Are you … feeling unwell,’ he asked Raphael cautiously. ‘Perhaps I should leave you to rest?’
Raphael laughed, a short bark of a laugh. ‘I am not unwell. In fact I am the most lucid I have ever been. I see the world so simply now. And I see it is nothing like what I have been led to believe.’ He tugged at Lowe’s collar. ‘You would do well to take those scales from your eyes, Lowe. Your loyalty is misplaced.’
‘I have no idea what you are talking about. I just know that there have been things happening here lately that I don’t like – that need to be stopped before they cause harm. That stranger, that black-eyed stranger, for example. Here with the mortal—’
Raphael smiled, though his blue eyes were cold. ‘Your enemies lie so much closer to home … If you weren’t so caught up in the pointless beliefs of your parents, of the state, you might see that. As it is, you enjoy the pain all this deprivation causes others. Even your own brother.’
‘I too want to protect Luca.’ Lowe spoke passionately, misunderstanding. ‘I will do whatever it takes.’
Raphael sighed then, looking as though he wanted to say something more, but he merely shook his head, patting Lowe in a brotherly fashion on his chest.
‘I didn’t mean …’ he said at last, before realising the pointlessness of carrying on. ‘It doesn’t matter. You had best go home now. I have things to attend to.’
Lowe looked relieved.
‘Of course,’ he said, though nervously. Raphael turned from him, already regretting being so outspoken. Lowe was not stupid, though he was notoriously hot-headed. If suspicion were to start to grow in him, it would not be long before ripples of suspicion would grow within the community.
Minutes after the boy had left, Raphael sat on a stool next to the stalls. The horses, as though detecting impending change, stirred and pawed the ground, though Raphael barely noticed them.
He drew out of his pocket a sheaf of paperwork that he had managed to obtain from the state offices. His great father, Cadmium, was the only one with authority to retrieve any official paperwork from the files, but Cadmium was still stricken with some kind of malady and had foolishly granted Raphael access to the state records. It seemed as though events were naturally conspiring to enable Raphael to overturn the status quo – starting with the very heart of its political and sociological ethos: the Celestial government.
He unfolded the papers. The first one was his father’s death certificate. Raphael’s heart seemed to freeze a little as he glanced at the ornately inked facts. His father had died in the
presence of his loyal servant Milo.
The document went on to state that Milo was now living in the South, in a location that he chose not to disclose on the document itself. Why not disclose it? thought Raphael. Milo did not want any of the family coming to question him too closely. And Cadmium had authorised this.
Raphael leafed through the rest of the paperwork until he came to the one he thought was most important. It concerned the terms of succession should Cadmium cease to rule Nissilum. If he stepped down, it was stated, that if the masses of Nissilum, a quantity of more than fifty percent of the population, were to call for a change of leader, even the removal of the Royal family itself, then an election could be called.
The boy dropped the documents on the stable floor. He loved his great-father, even admired his fierce but fair governance, just as he loved Celeste, and would wish no harm to come to her. But they had lied to him. All the time that they were claiming that he, Raphael, was mentally unstable, they had been lying to him about the true fate of his father.
Why had they not called for a search for him? Why had they let him disappear into the darkness?
What had Gabriel done to be treated like that?
This place, this place – far from being a beacon of morality, had its own share of corruption, of dishonesty. And yet it dared to preach to its people about loyalty, to family and state; about curbing impulses, urges, power; about the importance of marrying, breeding within the various breeds. The boy realised that he had been living under a vast misapprehension over the years. That it was time for the truth to be uncovered.