by S. A. Moss
I nodded, placing a dry bandage across his wound and taping it in place.
“And in the alley. You called 911. You paid my hospital bill. And when the wall of the studio caved in—you were there.”
My head bobbed again. How had I ever thought he wouldn’t figure out he was being followed? I was so freaking obvious, I might as well have been wearing a neon sign that said Alex Knight’s Guardian/Stalker.
He grabbed my wrist just as I was about to place another piece of tape across the bandage. “At my apartment the other night. You were there.”
My gaze finally flickered up, meeting his. “Yes.”
He looked both hurt and angry as he said, “You let me talk to you. All night. You let me think I was crazy.”
“You’re not crazy.”
He let go of my wrist and ran his hand through his hair, looking away. “Yeah, I don’t know about that.”
I placed the last piece of tape and stepped back, finally able to get some distance between us. But it wasn’t enough. My back hit the wall, but he was still so close he could reach out and touch me without moving a step.
“You’re not crazy,” I promised him again. “I wasn’t supposed to let you see me at all. I’m sorry. I’m… new at this.”
“That’s what you’re sorry for? For letting me see you? Not for following me around in the first place? What are you, some kind of ghost stalker?”
My temper flared. Sure, I’d thought of myself as a creeper plenty of times, but that didn’t mean I actually was one. I’d been given a job by the Seer, and even though I had plenty of better things to do, I’d dedicated myself to protecting Alex. They were the ones that had told me I had to stick by him day and night. I hadn’t wanted too.
“No. I’m a Guardian. And excuse me for trying to keep you safe!” I snapped.
“Safe?” He scoffed, gesturing to his torso as he finally yanked his shirt down. “I’ve been stabbed twice in the last month. So if this is you keeping me safe, don’t do me any favors.”
“Hey! Those weren’t exactly my fault!” But guilt pricked me. The first one kind of was.
He shook his head, standing up. “I thought I was losing my mind. The most beautiful woman I’d ever seen kept appearing in my life, then disappearing so quick it was like she never existed. I thought maybe I hit my head too hard in that fight. But I’d seen you before that.”
My brain seized up, struggling to get past the part where he called me the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. I swallowed, trying to decide what to say to that.
But he wasn’t done.
“So you, what, followed me everywhere I went? Did you sneak around my apartment too? Go through my things? Do you have any idea how freaking messed up that is?”
I shook my head. “No, it wasn’t like that. I have orders. To watch over you!”
“That doesn’t make it okay!” he shouted, backing me up toward the door.
“Well, I didn’t exactly choose to get stuck with your cranky ass either, okay?” I shot back, ignoring the way his body crowded mine.
“You let me just spill my guts to you. I hoped—I wished—you were real. And you wouldn’t even tell me the truth. Not until you had to.” His voice dropped, and he glared at me. But underneath the anger, there was something else. Pain. I’d thought that distancing myself from him was only hurting me, but I guess I’d never considered what it might do to him.
This was suddenly way too much for me to handle. I’d spent so long watching Alex from a safe distance that I wasn’t quite sure how to deal with him actually looking at me and talking to me—and, well, yelling at me.
I didn’t have any answers for him. Everything he was accusing me of, I’d thought myself. And if I’d been a better Guardian, he would never have known I existed. But in truth, a part of me had wanted him to know I was there. I’d wanted to really get to know him, and that wasn’t possible when one person didn’t know about the existence of the other. But now that he’d seen proof positive of my existence, where did we go from here? I needed to get away from his piercing eyes, gather my thoughts, and figure out how to explain all of this in a way he could accept.
Unable to open the door with his hands pressed against it on either side of my body, I started to fade out, planning to slip through the wood—the coward’s way, sure, but I’d rather fight ten more demons right now than deal with my mess of feelings for Alex.
As he saw me fading out, Alex’s eyes widened in shock. He reached down to snatch my hand, and—
The spreading feeling of fading out suddenly stopped.
Like a rubber band, I snapped firmly back into the earthly plane.
What the hell?
I stared up at him, my heart racing.
Wait.
What the double hell?
25
I gasped, and this time it wasn’t just out of surprise. It was because I suddenly needed air. My eyes tracked down to where his large hand was wrapped around mine. Still sucking in air like I’d fallen out of practice at breathing, I slowly looked back up at his face.
Did he know what he’d just done? Could he feel the pulse pounding in my wrist, see it hammering in my neck? Would he even know what that meant?
“What are you doing?” My words were barely a whisper.
His face was so close to mine that his eyes darted back and forth to focus on me. He licked his lips, looking almost dazed. “I—I don’t know.”
He pulled away abruptly, stepping back from me so quickly that I almost slid down to the floor. The heady feeling of blood rushing through my veins died, and I missed it immediately.
Alex held his hands up in front of him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have grabbed you. That’s not cool.”
Of course, in a moment like this, he still found a way to be a freaking gentleman.
I shook my head slowly. “Not that. The other thing.”
“What other thing?” Alex ran his hands through his hair, sinking onto the toilet seat lid. It had a fluffy pink cover that I’d gotten for Sarah as a joke one Christmas. Alex was covered in dirt, sweat, and blood from the fight tonight, and his arm muscles flexed as he gripped the back of his neck with one hand. Siting in Sarah’s flowery, pink-themed bathroom, he looked like he’d just stepped out of an action movie into a rom-com.
I pushed away from the door and stepped forward on weak legs. “Can I just—?” I reached tentatively for his free hand. He looked at me suspiciously, but didn’t stop me as I grasped it lightly.
Nothing happened.
Except that now my face was once again just a few inches from Alex’s.
I examined the connection between us, trying to sound clinical and not as nervous as I felt. “What did you do when you touched me before?”
“What do you mean? I grabbed your hand to stop you from leaving. It was shitty, and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
“Can you do me a favor? Can you think the same thing? Try to keep me here.”
“But you’re right here.”
“I know, but just—just try it.”
He blew out a breath, then his grip on my hand tightened.
And my heart began to beat again.
Oh, holy mama.
My legs buckled beneath me, and I sank down to kneel on the floor beside him, keeping a firm grip on his hand. As I rested my head on the edge of the sink stand, my body felt suddenly fragile and vulnerable at the same time my nerves lit with an electric energy. I thought I’d been getting used to being undead, but this—this was so much better. How was it even possible?
I finally looked up to see Alex watching me closely. Oh man. Of all the ways I’d pictured this evening going when we’d left his apartment tonight, sitting in a bathroom holding hands with the man I was supposed to be protecting wouldn’t even have made the top one hundred.
“Camille,” he said softly. “What’s going on?”
And I told him.
Screw the Council. Screw every rule they’d given me. Because as far as I c
ould tell, all of those rules applied to a world that no longer existed. Powerful demons were slipping through from the Shroud, and what’s more, they were organizing. Neither of those things should be happening, but they definitely were. Who knew how many Guardians they’d snatched tonight—or where they’d taken them. And I was supposed to be undead. But as Alex gripped my hand, listening intently to my story, I felt my heart beating strong and steady in my chest.
I didn’t adjust my story or leave out any details to make myself sound better. When I told him that the punks who’d jumped him in the alley were probably wraith puppets, his eyes widened. And when I mentioned that I hadn’t been there to help at first because I’d been chasing down Boss Man trying to get a lead on my parents, his brow furrowed.
When I finally got to the events of tonight, and how the fight we’d gotten into was part of a larger attack, he blew out a breath and leaned back.
“I’m not sure if I’m bringing this trouble to you, or if the trouble is seeking you out. But either way, Alex, I promise I’ve been trying to keep you safe,” I said, shaking his hand gently.
He looked down at our joined hands again. “And what is this?”
I licked my lips. “I don’t know, exactly. No one on the Council ever mentioned this, and I don’t know how or why it’s possible. But you’re making me… mortal.”
His eyes widened, and he looked up quickly. “What?”
My shoulders lifted. “I don’t get it either. But when you touch me, I feel my heart beating. I need air. My palm is… probably super sweaty.”
Alex grinned slightly, and his eyes dropped to the pulse point on my neck. His free hand reached tentatively for me, almost like he had to feel my pulse himself to know it was real.
A knock at the door made us both jump, and I yanked my hand out of his. My heartbeat disappeared, and the buzzy feeling in my body faded.
“Cam? Is everything all right?” Pearl called.
Oh geez. We’d been locked in this bathroom for a while. And who knew what they’d heard through the door? I was pretty sure there had been a good amount of raised voices.
“Uh… yeah, thanks, Pearl. We’re almost done.” I scrambled to my feet. Alex stood as well, and I glanced over at him. “You okay?”
He chuckled dryly. “That is a very relative term. But yes, at this moment, I am okay.”
Maybe I was just imagining it, or projecting or something, but now that I’d told him everything that was going on, he seemed much more relaxed. I thought back to my first several hours after waking up in the Shroud, and the annoying way the Council had of doling information out in dribs and drabs; I vowed to myself not to follow their example. Alex was involved in this, whether I wanted him to be or not, and keeping information from him would only make things worse for both of us.
When I opened the door, Pearl stood on the other side, practically bouncing up and down. Her gaze darted back and forth between me and Alex.
“I told him,” I said simply.
She looked aghast. “You—?”
“Come on, Pearl. How else was I supposed to explain what happened tonight?”
Her mouth opened, then snapped shut.
Before Pearl could formulate a proper response, Sarah popped her head into the hall. “Hey, Cam, can I talk to you for a second?”
I sighed. I’d just made a promise to myself not to keep people in the dark, but if I still had a chance to protect Sarah from all of this, I had to take it.
“Sure.”
I followed her into her bedroom while Pearl set up pillows and a blanket on the couch for Alex. It was late, probably past 2 a.m. by now.
Sarah shut the door behind us and leaned against it. “Are you gonna tell me those two are in witness protection too?”
My shoulders sagged. “No.”
“Are you gonna tell me what’s really going on?”
“I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Her fingers drummed a pattern on the door. “Are you in trouble?”
“Sort of. But it’s nothing like you think.”
“Am I in trouble?”
“No, I don’t think so. And I’ll do everything I can to make sure it stays that way. We’ll get out of your hair tomorrow, I promise.”
Her blue eyes flashed. “That’s not why I’m asking, Cam. I want to help.”
I didn’t think it was possible for Guardians to change size or shape, but I could’ve sworn I was shrinking under the weight of her glare. Sarah and I had always had a no-questions-asked policy when it came to asking for help. Granted, an explanation was usually given, but it wasn’t required. And up to this point, it’d involved things like me helping her move out of her ex-boyfriend’s place or coming to her rescue when she locked herself out of her apartment. This was the first time one of us had shown up at the other’s place with two strangers, one of them bleeding from a knife wound, and asked to stay for the night.
The question that had been building in my chest ever since she’d come to the hospital burst out. “Why? Why are you helping me?”
Sarah pursed her lips before she answered. “Because I know you, Cam. You’re a good person. I don’t know if this has to do with your parents or something else entirely. But if you’re helping those two in my living room, then I know they deserve it too. You don’t give your loyalty lightly, but I’ve never seen you give up on someone you love.”
A tear slipped down my cheek. “I love you, Sarah.”
She pulled me into one of her tiny, bone-crushing hugs. “I know, sweetie. I love you too.”
Hugging her back, I wondered if maybe Owen had been wrong after all. He’d said it was best to leave your old life behind when you were reborn.
But I wasn’t ready to let go of who I’d been.
26
“He did what?”
Pearl’s eyes were like pale little saucers in the dim light of the living room. We’d both insisted on letting Alex take the couch, arguing that we’d be perfectly fine on the floor.
Sarah had piled up pillows in the corner for us, which was plenty considering neither of us would actually be sleeping. Alex had passed out, exhausted, and now slept with an arm draped over his face, keeping out the ambient moonlight streaming through the window.
“Shhh!” I hissed. We’d decided not to fade out. It would’ve made talking easier, but I was afraid that Sarah would wander into the living room and freak out if she couldn’t find us. But that meant that Pearl’s loud shriek had been clearly audible throughout the apartment.
“Sorry!” she whispered, covering her mouth. “But he did what?” She repeated the intonation at a lower volume, and I sighed.
“Yup. He turned me mortal. But it was only as long as he was touching me—and it didn’t seem to happen by accident. I mean, he’d touched me before and that didn’t happen. He had to specifically think about it.”
“He touched you before?” She flashed me a delighted smile.
I huffed. “During the fight, Pearl. Geez, come on, I thought the British were supposed to be dignified. Anyway, the main point is the whole, you know, mortal touch thing.”
“Right.” Her gaze shot to Alex, assessing. “I wonder if he can do that to any immortal, or if it’s just you.”
Oh crap. I hadn’t thought of that.
“I don’t know. We should ask him to try it on you; but fair warning, it feels really weird.”
She clapped her hands together lightly. “I’m definitely asking him!”
“Well, you’ll have plenty of time to play around with him, because I need a favor. I recognized the demon that came after us last night. He was the same one that came to the studio and threatened me before. And I also know who he works for.”
She shifted on her mound of pillows, sinking deeper as she tried to face me. “Who?”
“Well, I don’t know his name. I call him Boss Man. He’s a wraith in a human body, I’m almost sure of it—and I’d bet anything that he had a hand in this attack. I also know where he operates from. It
’s a club called Paradise; I followed him there when I was looking for my dad.”
“Really?” She chewed on her lower lip. “This is all so strange. I’ve never heard of the Fallen organizing anything. It goes against their nature. They’re only interested in pursuing their own short-sighted desires.”
“Yeah, well, maybe someone convinced them that joining together would be a better way to get what they want in the long run. I mean, what would a world with no Guardians look like?”
She shuddered. “Not good. As long as the strongest Fallen were still contained in the Shroud, it would simply mean a rise in violence, rape, murder… but if the most powerful Fallen were able to cross over, it would be total chaos. I’m not sure humanity could survive it.”
I blinked. I’d expected her to say something bad, but that was more dire than I’d imagined. Is that what the Fallen were after? Was their endgame to take over the world?
“So, we may want to keep that from happening.” My attempt to sound lighthearted and sarcastic failed miserably.
Alex shifted and groaned lightly in his sleep. We stopped talking as we glanced at him.
“Yes,” Pearl said quietly after a moment. “But I’m not sure exactly how.”
I swallowed. “That’s what I need the favor for. I need you to stay with Alex tomorrow. I’m going to try to sneak into Boss Man’s lair and find out where they took the Guardians.”
Pearl’s head whipped toward me. “What?”
Her whisper-shriek right next to my ear made me jump.
“Ow. I need that eardrum for later, thanks. But yeah, I doubt any other Guardians know where he’s operating from, and I need to find out what they’re planning quick.”
“But, Cam, you’re just one Guardian. You cannot seriously be thinking about carrying out an attack on a demon stronghold,” Pearl argued. Calling the nightclub a stronghold struck me as funny, until it occurred to me that I really had no clear picture of everything that went on there. It could very well be exactly that.
The thought wasn’t comforting.