by S. A. Moss
He shot a look over his shoulder. “You want one too?”
I shook my head. “No thanks. I don’t… eat.”
The hand spreading mayo hesitated for a brief moment before he turned his attention back to his sandwich creation. “Oh. Right. There’s a lot of stuff you don’t do.”
“Yeah, I guess there is.”
An awkward silence followed. I wanted to scream across the chasm I could feel growing between us, but the problem was, I wasn’t sure what to scream. There was so much I wanted to say, but it all seemed way too big to be said in broad daylight in a tiny kitchen. So I kept my trap shut and just stared at him, much like I used to do when he had no idea I was there.
Alex’s gaze flicked to me again. “So did you need something?”
“Fighting!” I blurted.
“What?”
“Um, fighting. I mean, I have powers I can use, but honestly the few times I’ve gone up against a demon it always devolved into a fist-fight at some point. And I kinda suck at that. At hitting, and avoiding getting hit. And you’re pretty good at it, so I thought maybe you could teach me a few tricks.”
His shoulders shook, and I realized he was laughing silently.
“Why is that funny?” I asked testily.
“Sorry. It’s just, I’ve taught kids, adults, people looking to get fit, people looking to blow off steam, and people who want to feel safer walking down the street. I’ve never had a supernatural, immortal being ask me for self-defense tips.”
“Well, if it helps, there’s not really a qualifying exam to become a Guardian. According to Sada—she’s on the Guardian Council—my soul answered the call, whatever that means. But I definitely didn’t have to prove my worthiness or prowess or anything. And when I was alive, I was really more of a lover than a fighter.”
He slapped the top piece of bread on a massive sandwich and pressed it down a bit—probably to give himself a fighting chance of getting that monstrosity into his mouth. I sighed lightly. Man, I missed eating.
Alex turned in time to see me eyeballing his sandwich like it was a piece of meat. Which it was. Many pieces of meat. And cheese. And—
I wrenched my eyes up before I started actually licking my chops like a cartoon character.
As if he could read every thought in my head, Alex grinned. “Are you sure you don’t eat?”
“Hey, buddy, just because I don’t eat doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could. Eating, sleeping—this whole being undead thing has deprived me of several of my favorite activities.”
“Several? What are the others?” He grinned and took a giant bite of his sandwich.
“Um…” I had a feeling I knew what he was getting at. And I had no idea if I could still do that.
I mean, I probably could, but I wasn’t sure if it would be the same. I also suspected the Council would strongly disapprove of any Guardian/human fraternization. What about Guardian/Guardian? Maybe that was okay. Although where did that really leave me? Owen wasn’t really my type. No, my type was more lean and chiseled, with a good sense of humor, warm green eyes and—
I blinked, trying to reel in my thoughts again. They kept getting away from me. If I wasn’t pining after cheese, I was lusting after the one human I was specifically not supposed to have feelings for.
Alex smirked. “You’re really easy to read, you know that?”
“I don’t think so.”
“You don’t have to think so. Anyone who looks at you knows so.”
I gave him my best stink-eye. “Are you going to teach me how to fight? Because I think I’d really like to hit you now.”
He set down his sandwich and dusted off his hands. “Yeah, okay. Come here.”
I walked back into the kitchen, coming to a stop a few steps away from him. The coolness I’d felt from him earlier was gone. Apparently, as long as we were joking around or talking about practical things we were fine. There was still a roomful of unsaid things between us, but maybe it was better to leave those things unsaid for now.
Alex held his hands up in loose fists. “You know this part already, right? You’ve probably seen it in movies. You’ve gotta keep your guard up. That way if someone goes to hit you, you’re already in a good position to successfully block, right? Saves your arm having to travel all the way up from your side while you get punched in the face. And with your hands up like this, you’re positioned to throw your own punches too.”
I nodded. I had seen this in movies, and I was pretty sure I’d tried to do it while fighting the demon at Windy City MMA. But that had been more out of panic than any real skill. I lifted my hands up to mirror Alex’s.
“Good. Okay, now do you want to practice blocking or hitting first?”
“Hitting,” I replied immediately, which elicited a chuckle.
“Lover not a fighter my ass.” He opened his hands, palms toward me, but kept them up by his face. After giving me a few pointers on how to position my feet, he waggled his right hand. “Okay, lay one on me. Remember, the power has to come all the way from your legs. Let your back foot pivot and twist your hips.”
I took a steadying breath and threw my fist out, twisting my hips and imagining throwing all my weight behind the punch. It struck his palm with a satisfying smack, and Alex grinned. “Not bad.”
I shook out my hand. “Not bad? If I remember correctly, I’ve seen you take a hit from an eight-year-old girl that almost knocked you over.”
“Who, Sophie? Well she is a bona fide badass.” The grin that started to form on his face suddenly froze.
Oh, right. I’d seen that while I was secretly following him. I could feel him growing cold again, so I tried to push past the awkward moment.
“Yeah, she definitely is. No argument there. Um, can you show me blocks now?”
He nodded absently, but I could tell the fun was over. Not wanting to be rude—I’d asked for his help, after all—I let him show me how to bob and weave and do a basic block maneuver, then fled the kitchen.
Joining Pearl on the safety of the couch, I couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in my chest. Alex might be helping us, but that didn’t mean he liked me or approved of what I’d done.
Even if we managed to figure out this whole mess with the Fallen, I didn’t know how I’d ever be able to go back to being his Guardian now. I’d grown way more attached to him than I probably should’ve, and I honestly cared about keeping him safe. But it was impossible to go back to watching someone in secret once they knew you were there.
Maybe when this was all over, I needed to put in for a transfer.
30
“This is what young people wear now?” Pearl asked, sounding so much like a grandmother that I had to laugh.
She was staring dubiously into the full-length mirror in Sarah’s room, taking in her new look. I had to admit, the transition from the old-fashioned dress I’d first seen her in to this outfit was pretty striking. Her boobs were practically spilling out of a tight sequined top, and the black pants she wore were so tight they could’ve been painted on.
It wasn’t actually that risqué compared to some of the outfits I’d seen girls wearing the few times I went out dancing with Sarah to blow off steam. But watching Pearl try to adjust her top so that her cleavage was less noticeable made me grin.
“You look great,” I promised, coming to stand beside her in front of the mirror. We’d borrowed clothes from Sarah, so we could blend in better at the club. I was now sporting a silky blue tank top with a miniskirt and chunky boots—with a small knife Sarah had given me tucked into the side of the skirt at my hip.
Sarah was so short and petite I didn’t have a chance in hell of fitting into a pair of her pants, but the skirt actually fit pretty well. It was even shorter on me than it had been on her, so I insisted on wearing a pair of boy-shorts underneath; but I could move well in it, which was my main priority. And the boots had a slight wedge, but no heel otherwise, which was perfect.
I wanted an outfit I could sprint and kick in—altho
ugh maybe I should hold off on the fancy kicks until I got Alex to show me a better technique. Now that he could actually see me, I was more determined than ever not to get my butt handed to me by a demon again. Talk about embarrassing.
A knock came at the door. “Are you decent?” Sarah called.
That must’ve been for Pearl’s benefit. Sarah and I had been close like sisters, or like old ladies in a locker room—perfectly comfortable having a full conversation while stripping down to change clothes.
“Well, I’m not sure Pearl will ever be decent, but you can come in,” I called. Pearl let out a surprisingly lady-like grunt as she attacked her top’s neckline again, wrestling it up another quarter of an inch. Of course, that only made it ride higher up on her midriff, but I wasn’t going to point that out.
Sarah popped her head in the door, grinning approvingly at both of us. We had kept the details of our plan extremely vague, only letting her know we needed clothes to blend in at a trendy club. I had also assured her we weren’t in any danger, which felt like an outright lie. But there was no way to explain what we were about to do without telling her too much, and I didn’t want her to worry.
“You guys look good. Are you sure I can’t come with you?” She shot me a sad puppy look.
“Sorry. We’re… meeting someone, and if we bring more people than he expects he might not talk to us,” I said. I could see her starting to get antsy, her worry for me overriding all the lame excuses I’d given her and poking holes in our “no questions asked” policy. If we didn’t get out of here soon, we might not make it out without a blowup.
I glanced over at Pearl. “You all set?”
She abandoned her cleavage and nodded sharply. She seemed to have sensed the urgency I felt.
The three of us trooped out to the living room where Alex was waiting. Alive or undead, apparently girls took longer to get ready than guys no matter what.
He stood when we entered, his eyes sweeping over us, taking in our transformation. I felt his gaze skate down my legs—which the very short skirt made look pretty damn long—and back up, following the curves of my body to my face. I tried to cock my hip to the side and look cool, not like a scared shitless newbie Guardian who was about to take her human into a fight they very possibly wouldn’t win.
Unfortunately, I was starting to think he was right about how easy I was to read. His eyes flickered with something soft, and he said, “You look good. Very badass.”
I ducked my head. “Yeah. You too.”
The man cleaned up well. He’d borrowed a button-down shirt and blazer from Dylan via Sarah, and the first two buttons of the shirt were left undone, showing the strong cords of his neck. A pair of dark jeans and black boots completed the look.
Pearl glanced between Alex and me, her brow furrowing. “Are we going to go, or are we just going to stand around complimenting each other all night?”
“No. No, we’re going.” Shaking off my distraction, I led the way to the door. After ushering Pearl and Alex through, I turned back to Sarah. “Thank you. For everything. I’m sorry—”
She held up a hand to stop me. “Don’t, Cam. Honestly, I owe you so much more than this. You’ve always been there for me, and I’ve been waiting for years for the chance to return the favor. This last month is the first time you’ve ever let me help you.”
Her words set me back on my heels. “I let you help me!”
Sarah’s eyes were bright as she shook her head. “No, you don’t. And that’s okay, because you’re a tough as nails chick who gets things done. I’d never wish weakness on you, I just wish you could’ve realized that accepting help isn’t a weakness.”
“I—” I stopped, remembering packing and carrying moving boxes on my own, stumbling down the street in my PJs with a high fever to pick up cold medicine on my own, applying for jobs, applying for scholarships, filling out lease applications—all on my own.
Oh shit. She was right.
“I’m… sorry,” I whispered.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who’s sorry I couldn’t be there for you for more stuff. You were always there for me.”
“I was?”
She grinned her sweet Southern belle grin. “Always.”
A tear slid down my face as I squeezed her in a hug. “Thank you.”
As I followed Pearl and Alex downstairs, something clicked into place in my mind. Maybe this was why my soul had answered the call when it’d been trapped by the Shroud. Because even after death, I still cared about what happened to my parents. Because I’d always take care of my friend, even if I barely knew how to accept her help in return. Because I would do anything I could to protect a man I hadn’t even known existed a month ago.
Maybe, as out of my depth as I felt most of the time, I really was meant to be a Guardian.
31
Paradise looked like a castle.
In contrast to the sleek glass facades of the buildings around it, the nightclub’s exterior was made of large stone bricks, with a huge wooden door at the front. It actually looked startlingly like what it was—a demon stronghold.
I shivered, though not because of the chilly air. Unlike the rest of the girls standing in line across the street in skimpy outfits waiting to get inside the club, I wasn’t actually cold. But I was fighting down a very aggressive swarm of butterflies in my stomach.
“Are we all clear on the plan?” I asked for the eleven billionth time.
Pearl and Alex both nodded beside me, their eyes fixed on the monstrosity of a building too.
Our plan was a very simple one that devolved into a bunch of what-ifs and contingencies once we actually got inside the club. Since neither Pearl nor I had IDs, we’d avoid the bouncer at the door by fading out and slipping into the club through a wall. Alex would meet us inside once we faded back in, and then… well, then we’d find out how good we all were at improvising.
I hated the thought of fading out and leaving Alex on his own. Even though we’d actually be right there with him until he entered the club, the thought of not being on the same plane as him made me queasy. It was tricky trying to organize a covert mission when some of your group could disappear and some couldn’t, I consoled myself with the reminder that as soon as we got inside the club, we’d rejoin him.
Any Fallen inside would probably be faded out, and they’d have a much easier time spotting us if we were in the same state. All supernaturals could see other supernaturals’ auras, but the glow was brighter when we were faded out. As long as Pearl and I were solidly on the earthly plane, our auras would be difficult to pick up.
Assuming, of course, that none of the Fallen recognized my face and sounded the alarm.
The butterflies in my stomach began to migrate north into my throat.
“Okay then. See you on the other side,” I said to Alex, then closed my mouth on the butterflies trying to escape.
“Yep. See you soon.” He gave a slight wave and strode across the street. Pearl and I darted into an alley and faded out quickly. Trying to close my nose off to the smell of warm garbage, I reminded myself that Spiderman did a lot of his quick changes in an alley too. I was in good—albeit stinky—company.
Once we were invisible, we trekked across the street to join Alex in line. A group of four had just entered, so there were only three people ahead of him now. The heavy thump of bass coming from the club was so powerful it almost felt like my heart was slamming in my ribs with each downbeat.
“When we get in there, please keep an eye on Alex,” I muttered to Pearl.
“Of course I will.” She shot me a measuring look. “You like him.”
“Well, yeah. He’s a good guy. And it’s my job to protect him.”
She glanced at Alex, who was fidgeting in line right next to us but couldn’t hear a word we said. “He likes you too.”
I laughed. “Uhhh, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure he’s still pissed at me for following him around in secret like a creep-o.”
She studied me, her eyes doing that weird thing where they looked way too old for her face. “If you say so.”
I did say so, even if a part of me really hoped that she was right.
A few moments later, the three people ahead of us were ushered inside by the bouncer and Alex stepped forward. The bouncer looked up from his clipboard and frowned at Alex. “Just you?”
“For now,” Alex said with a smirk. “Ask me that again later tonight.”
The burly man chuckled. When he unclipped the velvet rope to let Alex in, Pearl and I slipped around the bouncer and passed through the wall of the club just as Alex stepped through the door. Pearl had an iron grip on my arm, and it tightened even more as we cleared the entryway.
The club was dimly lit, with blue light flashing across the walls and masses of bodies writhing on the dance floor. The music, which could be felt more than heard outside, was blasting loudly inside. People obviously didn’t come here to have a deep conversation, or any conversation at all. I didn’t think I’d be able to hear anything below a scream.
Pearl kept her hold on my arm, and we pressed ourselves up against a wall and faded back in. In this mass of people, two extra bodies suddenly appearing didn’t draw any attention at all, although a girl in front of us shot me a glare as I accidentally jostled her.
Alex stood just inside the entrance, glancing around casually. As I pulled Pearl toward him, she leaned up to whisper-shout in my ear. “Did you see the Fallen?”
My head whipped back to her. “No. Where? How many?”
“I didn’t get a good count, it was too fast. They weren’t moving around much; they seemed to be stationed more like guards. I’ll point them out to you, but their auras are hard to see with the lights in here.”
I nodded rather than trying to shout over the music. Reaching Alex, I looped my arm through his, and he glanced at me. I didn’t bother explaining my action—I just wanted to be physically connected to both him and Pearl in this crowd.