by Sophie Stern
I have a feeling that Parker knows this.
“Couldn’t have done it without you,” he says, leaning back against his desk. He sips his drink and watches me. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Parker likes watching me. He’s looking at me like he wants to devour me. His eyes roam my body, hesitating just momentarily on my breasts. Then he looks up and meets my eyes.
Has he ever looked at me this way before?
How come I’ve never noticed?
I must be imagining things, and I shake my head.
“Thanks,” I said. “But I think you would have been just fine.”
“Rose, don’t underestimate yourself,” he says, holding his glass out. “You’re an asset to this company and you’re an asset to me.”
“Is that right? Well, then, maybe I need to ask for a raise,” I wink.
“You got it.”
“What?”
“Go to HR tomorrow and tell them I said to put it through.”
“Parker, what are you talking about?”
“Name a number, Rose. You’ll get it.”
Something strange has gotten into Parker. He isn’t usually like this. Then again, I’m not usually like this, either. I’m not usually the kind of girl who spends an extreme amount of time in her boss’ office. I’m not the kind of girl who drinks with him. I’m not the kind of girl who...
Fuck it.
I slam down the rest of my drink. This is my moment, I realize. This is my chance. I can walk over to him and I can kiss him. Then I can roll the dice and see where this takes me. Anything can happen now. I just have to be brave enough to try, right?
I set my drink down and I’m just about to walk over to Parker when the office phone rings.
Fuck.
Saved by the bell, I suppose.
Parker eyes me curiously. He can tell I was about to do something – probably something really stupid – but he doesn’t ask me what it was. Instead, he goes to the phone, picks up the receiver, and answers.
“King,” he says, and then he sits down. As soon as he starts talking, I realize the moment is over, and I have a mountain of paperwork to finish. Carefully, quietly, and discreetly, I slip out of Parker’s office and go to my own. As soon as I’m alone, I drop my head in my hands.
“Shit,” I grumble.
I was so damn close to going for it. I had psyched myself up. I had gotten ready. Then the phone call had come in. Maybe it’s just a sign that there’s never going to be a perfect time for this. There’s never going to be a good chance to tell Parker that I’m into him.
It’s just a dare.
I keep telling myself that it’s only a dare.
I’m only doing this because Stephanie wants to see me explore my sexuality.
She wants to push me to get outside of my comfort zone.
That’s it.
That’s all this is about.
Only, it’s not.
There’s more to what’s happening.
Parker has been a staple in my life since I started working for him. I got this job because I’m good at what I do. The fact that we get along is an incredible bonus. Working for him is hard. He’s demanding and he’s needy and he’s opinionated, but I love every second of being his right-hand lady. I love it.
Maybe that’s why this dare is so damn hard.
What’s going to happen if I make a move on Parker and he doesn’t reciprocate?
What if he does?
No matter what I do, things are going to change between us, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. Maybe it’s better to just sit back and keep things the way they are. Maybe I should just be happy with the status quo.
Maybe...
But as I look at my phone and see the texts from Stephanie about the dare, I realize that I’m ready for something different and new. I think about Heather and how excited she is to be dating new people. I think about Diane and her carefree, can-do attitude.
And I think about Parker.
“I can do this,” I tell myself. I set the phone down, look at the stack of paperwork on my desk, and sigh. “Right after I’m done filing.”
*
Staying late is part of the job for me. I’m supposed to leave at five, but that never happens.
Ever.
Something always comes up, which is more than fine. I’m always happy to help out Parker with documents and filing and planning. Maybe I shouldn’t be so available to him. Is it pathetic that I am? I kind of view it as doing a good job. I think that I take pride in what I do, and I don’t mind staying late, especially when I know that it means the company is going to keep growing and blossoming.
By the time we leave the office for the day, business hours are long over. The rest of the staff left by six and now it’s nearly ten. Parker and I are both used to pulling long hours at work, but today we’re completely exhausted, and ten o’clock is a bit extreme, even for us. Usually, we’re out by seven. Sometimes eight.
We walk outside quietly. We’re both tired and lost in thought. Politely, he walks me to my car, but he doesn’t press me to talk or share my thoughts. I’m grateful for the reprieve. I’m very tired, and somehow, the idea of expressing myself anymore today seems unbearable.
Parker reaches for my shoulder and touches me. There’s something on the tip of his tongue, but before he can speak, he seems to change his mind. Instead, he pulls me close and hugs me goodbye.
“Thanks for all of your hard work today,” he says, holding me tightly. “You really made it happen.”
I try not to focus on how fucking good he smells or on how fucking sexy this moment is. His arms are wrapped tightly around my body and I can feel all of him: his chest, his abs, his hips. This should not make me as happy as it does, but then again, I’m not pretending to be a good person. I’m only human. I’m only normal. I’m only me. I wonder if he notices how hard my nipples are right now or how my breathing has gotten really fast and anxious.
I’m so nervous and aroused that I have no idea what I should do next.
“It was nothing,” I say, wrapping my arms right back around him. It’s so comforting, so perfect. We’ve shared hundreds of hugs over the years, but somehow, this one feels especially sweet, especially important.
We spent the entire day working together and, from what I can tell, it really helped get Parker’s mind off Janine. Sometimes what you need most to start the healing process is time away to think about other things. I know that once upon a time, the two of them were close, and I can’t imagine what it must feel like to lose an ex-lover.
Part of me can’t believe it happened. Hell, most of me can’t believe it. I don’t think about Janine very often and when I do, it’s almost always negative. I’m sure she had a perfectly good reason for doing what she did to Parker.
Maybe.
Probably not.
She really did completely tear him up. Her choices made a huge impact on his ability to move forward and to heal. Still, no one deserves to die like that. No one deserves to die young, no matter how they might have lived. I’m not happy she’s gone. There are no winners in this situation.
“I’m sorry it was a long day,” I tell Parker.
“It didn’t seem so bad because you were there,” he says, but his voice is almost a whisper. I wonder if I just imagined him saying it because that’s borderline romantic and Parker and I are not romantic.
But I want to be.
My mind chooses that moment to remind me of Stephanie’s dare. I have until the end of next week to seduce Parker or I’m going to owe her. I don’t want to drop out. I don’t want to be that girl. Only, after the day he’s had, is it really fair for me to try to seduce him now?
Should I plant an idea in his head?
Maybe I could flirt a little to make him think about me. Then, later in the week when I make my move for real, things won’t seem so strange.
I hold Parker tighter, pulling him against my chest. I know he can feel every part of me for certain now. This is one
long fucking hug, but he doesn’t make a move to leave and neither do I. His breath catches and yeah, I can tell he feels all of me.
“I’m glad we spent the day together,” I whisper, trying to sound sultry. I do my best to summon my inner-goddess, but for fuck’s sake, my dirty talk sucks. Fuck. This isn’t romantic or sweet or sexy.
“Yeah,” he says. “Me too.”
He reaches for my hair and strokes it in a moment of surprising intimacy. He’s not usually like this with me. He’s not usually so tender. I’m not going to lie: I love it. I love how much attention he’s giving me and I love how sweetly he’s taking care of me today. It’s not the way a boss should treat his employee. Not at all.
That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, though.
No, everything about this moment is perfect.
Then, suddenly, I feel something against my belly.
It can’t be.
Is that his...?
Parker practically leaps out of my arms. He pushes me away and turns around. Then he takes long strides toward his own car, which is parked just across from mine.
“Goodnight, Rose,” he calls out, and he gets inside his vehicle. He slams the door shut without a backward glance. I watch him for a second before I get into my own car. Yeah, that was his cock and it was fucking hard.
For me?
Definitely for me.
I’m totally shocked as I sink into my seat, but I shouldn’t be. I’m pretty enough. I’m funny. I’m sweet. I’m interesting, right? None of my other boyfriends have ever complained that I’m boring. A bit bitchy, maybe, and a bit intense, but never boring.
Does Parker like me?
Is that what this means?
For fuck’s sake. Maybe Stephanie was right. Maybe he really isn’t out of my league. If Parker got excited from just a hug, does that mean that maybe I have a chance with him?
It’s not about a dare anymore.
Not that it ever really was.
Something tells me that if I have a chance with Parker King, then one night isn’t going to be nearly enough with him. I’m going to want more. I’m going to need more. We both are. It’s been a long time since I was in a relationship, but I haven’t forgotten how wonderful it feels to be needed and desired. I haven’t forgotten how fucking fantastic it feels to wake up naked with the person you love.
And with Parker?
I have a feeling I’d never wear clothes.
The idea that he might feel the same way as I do honestly hadn’t crossed my mind. Not until now. I figured trying to seduce him would be like pulling teeth, but now I wonder if that’s true. That was a good fucking hug and I think he liked it just as much as I did. In fact, I know that he did.
Men might lie, but dicks don’t.
So, what do I do now?
I peek out of my window and see that he’s still in his car. He’s staring straight ahead, and his hands are gripping the steering wheel, like he can’t quite focus. He can’t quite convince himself to drive home yet, and I have an idea.
It’s probably a bad idea.
Still, I’m tired of playing it safe. Stephanie is right: I’ve liked Parker for three years and nothing has ever happened. I’ve been waiting around for him to realize I could be the girl of his dreams, but he never has. Then again, I’ve never really thought that he could see me for me. I’ve always thought he viewed me as his helper. Nothing more. Maybe it’s time for me to push fate aside and take control of my own destiny. Maybe it’s time for me to put on my big-girl panties and make it happen.
I grab my cell phone and call Parker.
I see him look at his phone, then over at my car, then back at his phone. Finally, he picks up.
“Rose?”
“Hey, Parker,” I say.
“Is everything okay?” He’s looking at me now. We’re parked about across from one another and even though it’s dark, I can see his face because of the streetlights in the parking lot. He looks a little worried, a little confused.
“It was a long day,” I say quickly. I want to break eye contact, want to twirl my hair and close my eyes and pretend no one can see me. I want to pretend I’m invisible because that makes me feel brave. Ever since I was a little kid, closing my eyes has gotten me through my darkest moments. I don’t know why.
I guess that somehow, I never grew out of the idea that if I can’t see them, they can’t see me.
“Do you want to get a drink with me?” I ask Parker quickly. A look of surprise crosses over his face, then another emotion replaces it and I realize he’s going to say “no.”
Fuck.
My face flushes with embarrassment as he hesitates for a moment, then he runs a hand through his hair and over his beard.
How many nights have I dreamt of touching that beard?
How many times have I fantasized about running my hands through that hair?
“Rose,” he says. “It’s late. I should go home. You should, too.”
“Sorry,” I say. “It was a stupid idea.”
Quickly, I hang up the phone and start my engine, then pull out of the parking lot. I try to forget about how embarrassing this feels, about how rejected I feel. I try to forget everything but getting as far away from the AeroKing office as possible.
And I’m certainly not fucking going home.
Parker doesn’t have to come with me, but now I need a drink more than ever and I’ll be damned if I let him tell me to go home because it’s “late.”
Fuck.
5––––––––Parker
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know I messed up. A look of embarrassment covers Rose’s face before she steels herself, hangs up, and books it out of the parking lot. Immediately, I realize I’m going to have to follow her because she’s definitely not going home.
If she was before, she’s certainly not now.
No, I embarrassed her by saying I wouldn’t go out with her and now she’s going to go by herself. She’s going to go alone to some bar or some club and she’s going to drink. Even if I wasn’t completely crazy about Rose, which I am, I couldn’t let her go out alone in Weston at night. It’s not safe to go drinking alone for anyone. Whether she’s a woman or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that there’s safety in groups and her group is a party of one.
Quickly, I take off after her. She’s upset and I doubt she’ll notice I’m following her, so I don’t bother trying to be discreet. As she drives, I wonder what’s gotten into Rose today. She’s always beautiful and always fun, but today I almost felt like she was coming onto me. I must be imagining things because in three years of working together, she’s never so much as looked at me twice.
That’s fine.
She’s way out of my league, anyway.
She’s sweet and gentle and kind and she’s not scarred by the world like I am. I’ll never forget the way I felt when I caught Janine and Mike together, but the pain was dulled by Rose. She protected me. She took care of me. She showed me that I really do have one friend in the world. I might not have many more than that, but I have her. She stayed with me all night. I was a sobbing, devastated mess, and she never judged me. She just sat with me and said that everything would be okay.
She was right.
And did I ever thank her for that? No. I never bothered because I was embarrassed, humiliated. My best friend stole my girl away, but even I know that’s not really true. Janine had been leaving me for a long time and the relationship finally fell apart. Mike was the catalyst, but he wasn’t the problem. There were plenty of other issues before Janine decided to make her move to end us.
And for two years now, I’ve been mostly single.
“Mostly” because I still go on the occasional date and bring home the occasional woman, but it’s never a relationship. I don’t do relationships anymore. Not now, not ever. The truth is that since Janine left, I haven’t even thought about being with another woman except for Rose.
And that’s wrong.
She’s Rose.
Until now.
Tonight, everything is about to change between us and I’m not sure how to handle that. I’m not sure if I want things to change. We have a wonderful dynamic between us. We’re an unstoppable team that can conquer anything, but...
But maybe Rose is tired of that.
Maybe she wants something else.
Maybe she wants something more.
She pulls into the parking lot of a bar and I park a few spots down from her. Rose hops out of the car and slams the door, then marches right inside. She doesn’t notice me. She doesn’t look back. She doesn’t even slow down until she’s inside the building.
Well, okay, then.
I guess my instincts were right and I feel a little bit of relief that I did follow her, but in reality, I should have just said “yes.” I should have said I’d go with her. I figured if I turned her down, she’d go home, and I’d go home, and our relationship would reset in the morning. No harm done.
The truth is that I don’t trust myself around Rose outside of work.
The boundaries are in place for a reason and that reason is she’s super fucking perfect and I want her.
All of her.
I can’t even count how many fantasies I’ve had starring her: starring Rose. How many times have I dreamt of setting her up on the desk and pushing her skirt up, spreading her legs? How many times have I imagined sliding my tongue up those creamy pink thighs? How many times have I wondered what her pussy tastes like?
Too fucking many.
I’ve spent too many nights jerking off to thoughts of her, too many nights thinking of how sweet she’ll look spread out on my bed. I’ve spent too many nights thinking about all the ways I want to make her come. I’ve spent way too many nights imagining what her nipples look like, imagining what her entire body looks like.