by Lori Foster
She was crying.
Not sobs, but silent tears that left her cheeks wet and salty. Eli wasn’t alarmed. She’d been so tense over so many things, the sexual release had probably released other emotions as well. He was glad.
Moving up to lie over her, Eli held her to his heart. That Ray would break down and cry with him told him everything he needed to know. She cared, no matter what she told herself. But if he made a big deal of this, she’d hate him for it. And he’d rather die than hurt her.
Kissing away the closest tear, he whispered, “You are so beautiful, Ray.”
She shook her head. “I’m not.”
Argumentative to the bitter end. Eli managed a weak, strained chuckle. His words were hoarse when he told her playfully, “You’re also the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met.”
“No, I—”
“Where’s the rubber?” he asked, just to keep her on track. If he didn’t get inside her soon, he’d be coming without her and that wouldn’t do.
She sniffed, twisted to reach under the cot. “If you ever tell anyone—”
“What? That you’re a sexual dynamo? That you taste so fucking good I almost came just from eating you?” He growled, ready to taste her again. “That you—”
“That I cried.”
His heart swelled at the pitiful, embarrassed way she whispered that. “I swear to God, Ray, I will never hurt you.” He took the condom from her and levered up to take care of business.
“I don’t know why I’m sniveling. I’m not sad.”
“I know, honey.”
“I’m not worried or afraid, either.”
Eli said nothing to that.
“It’s just that you’re so . . .”
“I understand.”
She laughed. “Maybe I should say vain?” Ray sniffed again, then touched his chest. “I love how you feel, Eli.” Her hands moved over his nipples, down his sides to again clutch his butt.
“All sweaty?” With the condom on, Eli lowered himself back into her arms.
“All heaving and horny and hard.”
Closing his eyes, Eli struggled for control. It wasn’t easy, but he managed to keep his entrance slow. After two orgasms, Ray was so wet and soft that he sank into her easily.
Once he was buried deep, he paused to kiss her brow, her ear, the tip of her nose. He loved kissing Ray and could have spent hours doing just that.
“You’re a part of me, Ray.” He cupped her chin and pressed deeper, touching her womb to emphasize his claim. “I won’t ever let you push me away again. And I won’t ever let you go.”
With a heartfelt, uncertain groan, Ray tried to turn her face away—but she couldn’t do it. Eli knew it wasn’t his hold on her chin, but rather his hold on her heart that she rebelled against. Physical bonds she could break, but when was the last time someone had loved her?
Ray closed her eyes and her voice sounded with humiliation and despair. “You don’t know what you’re saying, Eli.”
No, she just didn’t want to believe what he said. “Don’t be afraid of me, honey.”
She thumped him in the ribs, but it was a weak attack, awkward from her position, making him smile. He was a part of her, body and heart, and even Ray’s stubbornness couldn’t blind her to that fact.
Still, long ingrained pride made her grumble, “I’m not afraid of anyone,” at the same time her legs slowly twined around his hips and she locked her ankles at the small of his back.
“You feel good wrapped around me, honey.” He began moving in a metered pace. He forced himself to go slow, enjoying the sweet friction, the wet glide, the gentle conquest of Ray Vereker, his own little mercenary.
Unappreciative of his efforts, Ray cursed him.
“So impatient,” Eli murmured. His cock throbbed and pulsed, hugged by her hot velvet sheath. With each steady thrust, he felt her pubic hair, her smooth belly on his, her pointed nipples against his chest. “I’ve waited too long to hurry, Ray. Just relax and enjoy.”
Instead, she dug her heels into the small of his back and strained against him. Damp from the heat and humidity, they rocked together, finding a rhythm that came to them easily, as if they’d been making love for years.
Eli slid his hands beneath her, cradling her ass, kneading and holding her close. His control began slipping so he raised her high for more powerful thrusts, each growing harder and deeper. Her strong legs squeezed him tight in her pleasure. Her hands held him as if she’d never let him go.
The urgency was back, worse than ever. His body pounded with heat, his heart thundered, and his muscles went rigid with the effort of restraint. He didn’t think he could wait much longer, everything about Ray driving him past his control.
Then Ray said, “I want you with me this time,” on a high wail, and it was enough. Eli exploded. His own shout was harsh and filled with satisfaction. He pressed his face into Ray’s neck, filling himself with the scent of her, holding her as close as he could manage without hurting her.
It wasn’t close enough.
He didn’t know if he could ever be close enough. He only knew she was his now, and he would never let her forget that.
Ray hated to admit it, but she was afraid.
Last night had been pure, unadulterated, all-consuming bliss, far more than she’d counted on when she decided to give in to the attraction. Attraction? Ha! What a wimpy word for how she felt, for how Eli could make her feel.
She’d never imagined sex could be that way, both powerful and tender, mind-blowing and healing. Eli had the means to make her whole, content and fulfilled, which meant he also had the means to hurt her.
He didn’t really know her, or he wouldn’t keep talking about relationships and the future. She didn’t fit in, not in her own world, and definitely not in his.
The bigger problem though, was that she no longer knew herself, not when she was with him, not with how he made her feel.
Last night was a memory she’d cherish. But it should never have happened. She’d given in, and in the process she’d made herself too vulnerable for comfort.
Usually she had no problem keeping her mind on what she was doing, using an internal clock to keep to her schedule. But after last night, she’d conked out for the duration. Even her concerns for the job hadn’t been enough to rouse her this morning. It’d taken the noisy howler monkeys to jerk her awake. Now she was running behind, and as she shoved on her pants and tucked in her shirt, she stared at Eli, still sleeping.
He was a beautiful man. And not just in appearance, though God knew he had her panting for his body. He was intelligent and proud and almost as dangerous as she was. She’d misjudged him badly in the beginning. But now she knew Eli Conners could hold his own in any battle, be it a boardroom debate or a physical struggle in the middle of Central America.
But even putting those truths aside, he was still from the social elite. Other than a few admitted prejudices, Ray didn’t know the first thing about the life of the rich and powerful. She’d hired herself out to them, doing their dirty work, but she didn’t know what motivated them. What did they think when they got up in the morning? What did they discuss over lunch? She didn’t know, would never know, and that was the crux of the problem.
Fully dressed, Ray walked to the bed. They had about five minutes before they needed to move out. She’d deliberately waited to wake Eli so he couldn’t start hashing out the proverbial morning-after awkwardness.
Ray reached out to shake him awake, but hesitated. He was naked as a jaybird, and she liked it. Boy, did she like it. One muscled arm rested behind his head, and she stared at his biceps, pronounced even in sleep. The tuft of dark, fine hair beneath his arm was a strangely appealing sight, masculine and naturally sexy. So was the way his heavy brows relaxed in sleep, the rumpled lay of his hair, the soft soughing of his breath.
Looking at him made her suffer with regret, but also filled her with warmth. She stared at his sex, remembering how she’d touched him there, how she’d tasted him,
how he’d slid deep and filled her up.
He wasn’t hard now, but was nestled softly in dark, crisp hair. It amazed her that a man’s body could change so rapidly and so completely. It amazed her that Eli’s body changed for her.
She wanted to touch him again, and found herself seriously considering it. Eli stirred, becoming erect right before her eyes. Her gaze shot to his face and she found him watching her, those hazel eyes hot and filled with such intensity that the impact of his stare sank deep into her heart. From the first, he’d possessed the power to see too much.
Eli slowly reached for her, but she stepped away. “We’re late. We overslept. You’ve got”—she glanced at her watch—“four minutes.”
Eli came out of the bed as if he’d been awake for hours, as if he hadn’t spent most of the night making love to her. But he had. The lack of condoms hadn’t stopped him. No, he just hadn’t come inside her again, but he’d given her so much pleasure . . .
He stepped into his pants as he said, “I’m sorry. You should have awakened me sooner.”
Ray cleared her throat. “No big deal, as long as you’re ready to leave when I am. We want to catch them soon after they’ve eaten, when the effect of the drug is strongest.”
Eli tugged on his boots, rummaged through the bag, then went outside. Ray peeked out the window. He relieved himself, then went to the stream to splash his face and brush his teeth. She shook her head. It would have been better if he’d been grouchy this morning. Then she could have convinced herself that he wasn’t as wonderful as he seemed.
God, she was a fraud, damn near a coward. She almost hated herself.
He was back in the shack, ready to leave, and he hadn’t even used a whole three minutes.
Forcing herself to think of the job at hand, Ray readied her ammo in case things didn’t go as planned. She did it by rote, the familiarity of it just what she needed to soothe her frazzled thoughts.
“You look like a female Rambo.” Eli made a sound of disgust. “Christ, I hate this, Ray.”
Pretending confusion, she cocked a brow. “This?”
“Knowing the risks you take.”
She shrugged. “It’s what you hired me for.”
Her cavalier attitude set him off. “That has nothing to do with here and now.”
Ray was ready for a fight, needed one, in fact. It’d clear the air and remind her, and him, of where they stood.
Which was not together.
“Be honest with yourself about who and what I am, Eli. That hasn’t changed just because sex got thrown in as a bonus.”
His jaw locked. “Don’t push me, Ray. What happened last night doesn’t have a fucking thing to do with our arrangement.”
His foul language didn’t impress her. “No? Our reasons for being here haven’t changed. I haven’t changed.”
In a show of frustration, Eli ran a hand through his hair. He looked disreputable and dangerous with his scraggly beard and glowing eyes. Then he tilted his head back to stare at the rotting ceiling. Ray watched his chest heave.
When he again looked at her, that turbulent emotion had been banked while the intensity remained. Eli looked at her mouth. “I’m sorry about being so . . . insatiable last night.”
Her eyes flared at that low, intimate tone. Unfair! He couldn’t go from mad to tender in a heartbeat, not when she’d expected more arguments, more anger. Damn it, she wasn’t ready for concern, especially over that.
Knowing her face had gone hot, Ray considered tossing him out the window. “No. Big. Deal,” she assured him through her teeth, letting him know she wanted it dropped.
“I should have let you rest.” He took a step closer so that she had to look up at him. “The second time I woke you . . . I don’t know, Ray. You’d curled up against me in your sleep, and I woke up hard . . .”
Oh Lord. “Forget about it.” Please.
“But that third time was entirely uncalled for. I’ve never been that excessive before.” His gaze searched her face, sending new heat to pool in her lower body. “I hope I didn’t offend you, making love that way.”
Offend her? The pleasure had been so sharp, she’d screamed like a banshee. Images of Eli rousing her from sleep, his mouth at her nipple, his hand already pressing between her thighs, warm and rough and unrelenting, made her breathing labor and her skin burn.
With their one and only rubber already used, Eli had become inventive, holding back his own release to make certain she climaxed again and again. But that third time, he’d lost it, and she could still remember the thick, hot feel of his cum on her stomach. The look on his face as he’d exploded made her want to crawl right back in bed with him now. Ray closed her eyes in self-defense, but it didn’t help.
She drew a shaky breath before daring to face him again. As usual, he saw too much, more than she’d ever let any other man see.
“We have to go. Now.”
Eli hesitated a heartbeat, reluctant to give up, before finally nodding. “I’m ready.”
Ray knew he’d only put his questions on hold. He wanted to know what last night meant to her, but she didn’t really know, so how could she explain it to him? She was usually so confident, feeling uncertainty and weakness just sucked.
Unfortunately, the day got worse instead of better.
When they neared the camp, it was to see half a dozen men tossing their cookies with the verve of a pie-throwing contest. Some half stood, others were rolled into balls on the ground. They had their hands clapped to their mouths, around their middles, and in some cases holding their noses.
“Good God, it’s like the plague.” Ray resisted the urge to cover her nose. “Sarita overdid it.”
“I’ll say.” Eli curled his lip at the sounds the men made. “Hell, just watching them is about to turn my stomach.”
“Wimp,” she taunted, then had to pinch her lips together to hold down the orange she’d had for breakfast.
At that moment, they spotted Jeremy. He tottered over to the edge of camp, so green he blended with the jungle vegetation. He fell to his knees, wavered a moment, then began to heave violently.
“Huh. Montezuma’s been busy with his revenge.”
“Goddamn it, he must’ve eaten with the guerillas,” Eli growled.
“And they told us he bitched about the food. Imagine how he’ll feel now.” Ray would rather have faced three armed men than a yard full of vomit. She hated nausea. “This is just friggin’ great. Now I’ll have to contend with him being sick on top of executing a rescue.”
“You’re all heart, Ray, you know that?”
Jeremy fell to his side with a groan that rivaled the others’ combined. Ray did feel sorry for him, but merely shrugged. She had other things to contend with. “See the guard standing beside the ammunition shed, keeping out of reach of the sick men? He looks a little shaky himself, but I’d say he hasn’t eaten yet.”
“I’d say he won’t eat for hours now.”
Miguel stood at the other end of the compound, his hands on his head, his eyes wild with shock while his men fell like flies. He shouted and cursed at them in Spanish, to no avail. Either he hadn’t eaten as much as his men, or he had a stronger constitution.
“Two men still standing,” Ray said, “and the ape is Miguel. There’re two jeeps parked behind that ammunition shed. That’s your job, Eli. Ready one jeep for us to take. You can temporarily disable the other to give us a head start, but don’t kill it completely. They need it to survive.”
“And what’ll you do?”
“I’ll take care of the men.”
Eli didn’t like that. “You promised Sarita you wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
She glared at him for standing in her way. “Lucky for you, huh?”
Eli made a face. Ray was beginning to think he didn’t take her seriously anymore. ’Course, why would he when he knew damn good and well she didn’t want to hurt him?
They were hidden behind a line of trees, a thick layer of moss and dead leaves silencing their mo
vements—as if anyone could hear over that awful retching racket anyway. Ray could guess what Eli would think of her plan, but she’d used the ploy before and it worked.
It’d be easier to get him out of the way first, so she ordered, “Slip around to the back of the shed. When I signal you, come in and grab your brother. I could do it myself, but since you’re bigger, you’d be faster, and if he tosses his cookies . . . well, he’s your brother.”
Ray waited for Eli to move, but instead he asked, “What are you going to do?”
“Save your brother. That’s the plan, right?”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
Both tired and disgustingly emotional this morning, the last thing Ray wanted or needed was an excess of protectiveness from Eli. Leaning close so that their noses touched, she hissed, “I’m trying to get us the hell out of here with as little trouble as possible. Now. While everyone is still preoccupied barfing. So cut the bull, Eli. Can you carry your brother or not?”
“I can carry him. No problem.”
“Perfect. Give me a few minutes, then after you’ve taken care of the jeep, circle around and be ready.”
Eli nodded, now silent. But he still didn’t move.
To hell with it, Ray decided. She handed Eli the Uzi, the binoculars, her canteen, and finally her vest.
Eli’s brows came down. “Ray . . .”
“I know what I’m doing, Eli. For once, just let me do my job.” Without a single look in Eli’s direction, she grasped the neckline of her shirt and ripped it, tugging until her meager cleavage was visible, and farther down still, so that the insides of her breasts were on display.
Eli dropped everything to grab her upper arms in an iron hold. “Just what the hell is this grand plan of yours?”
“There’re two of them.”
He stared pointedly at her exposed cleavage. “So you think a ménage à trois will turn the trick?”