Chapter Five
The first week was the hardest. Each time Anna looked into her parents eyes, she felt some sort of guilt. It wasn’t the same kind of guilt she felt when it came to her divorce from William. This was a different kind. The guilt of knowing she had plans and didn’t share them with anyone. The guilt that if things went the right way, she’d be gone soon. Then who would cook? Fix her father’s pants? Clean the house? She wanted to believe that when the time came for her to leave, her parents would snap back to normal, but Anna couldn’t be sure of it.
The hardest part though was not sharing anything with Abigail. Abigail must have read it in Anna’s eyes and dared to ask a few times if something was bothering Anna, but Anna held back.
Once two weeks came and went, Anna made a casual trip into town to get some supplies for her father. The second he mentioned going into town, Anna almost tripped over a chair to offer to go to town for him. He obliged and gave Anna a list, with money.
Anna’s first stop was to see Mary and Henry.
When she stepped back into the building, she saw Henry standing over a fresh pile of mail. His arms were folded, his lips puckered, and the gleam of dollar signs in his eyes. He didn’t seem to be a greedy man, just a good businessman.
“Morning,” Anna said.
Henry saw Anna and his eyes lit up. “Anna! Come here. Right away.”
Anna went to Henry who welcomed her with a big hug. Anna felt wrong for hugging Henry because she didn’t want to ruin his expensive clothing.
“How are you?” he asked.
“Waiting,” Anna said.
“Everyone is. Any chance you want to look at some of these letters? There’s so many men...”
“No she doesn’t!” a voice called from the back of the building.
A second later, Mary appeared, her big glasses around her neck. She moved as fast as Henry, taking him by the arm and pulling him away.
“No she doesn’t,” Mary said again. “Anna and I have an arrangement of our own, isn’t that right?”
“Yes,” Anna said. “Which is why I’m here...”
“I haven’t received anything yet,” Mary said.
Anna smiled but her heart ached in pain. She blinked, swearing to herself she wouldn’t cry.
“It could be months,” Mary said, so soft and comforting. “I know you’re hopeful and so am I. Just remember, Anna, when he gets the letter, he’s going to be shocked. I’m sure in his mind he feels nobody would step into his life. He’s going to have to make a big decision and part of that is going to be coming to terms with what happened to his wife...”
“I understand,” Anna said.
“There’s so many young, good looking men though,” Henry said. “Not that Anna doesn’t deserve what her hearts wants...”
“Henry,” Mary snapped.
“He’s right,” Anna said. “I could just take one of these letters.”
Mary’s face dropped.
Anna reached for Mary’s hand.
“But I won’t,” Anna said. “I’ll wait.”
“Something good is coming, I know it,” Mary said.
Anna hugged Mary and then Henry. She spent the rest of the afternoon buying the supplies her father needed.
After that, more weeks went by. The pain and regret didn’t subside one bit for Anna because her life was based around it. Each morning she woke, she stood at the window and thought of Thomas. It seemed strange thinking about a man she never met and a man who hadn’t even written to her yet. But he was always on her mind.
It started to get warmer out and her father worked with the sunlight. It seemed each day added another minute or two. Anna also worked around the sunlight, ensuring everyone was fed the best she could provide. Her mother helped, which Anna enjoyed, only her mother didn’t really speak to her. The conversations were about food and nothing more. Nothing about life. Nothing about love. The pain of the divorce still hung in the house.
Abigail started to distance herself too. Anna wanted to tell Abigail everything but just couldn’t. Not without a definite answer. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her again.
Then came what felt like Anna’s fiftieth visit into town. She had no purpose other than to visit Mary and Henry. It was the only place where Anna could go to smile and feel the stress of the world leave for a few minutes. But this time, the second Mary saw her, she jumped from her chair so hard it flew back and fell over with a thundering thud.
“Anna!” she cried out.
A second later she waved an envelope in the air.
Anna saw it and her knees grew weak and started to give out. She leaned against the wall and felt her entire body shaking.
“Are you okay?” Mary called to her.
“Yes,” Anna said. “I’m shocked...”
“I’m not,” Mary said. “I told you he’d write back.”
Anna found strength in her legs again and took a step towards Mary.
“What does it say?”
“It’s not my mail to open,” Mary said. She smiled big and placed the letter on the table.
“You can open it,” Anna said. “Read it. Tell me.”
“No. I refuse. It’s your mail.”
“What if he doesn’t want me?” Anna asked. “I’m not sure I...”
“What if he does?” Mary posed.
Anna touched the envelope and looked at the handwriting on it. It wasn’t Josephine’s perfect handwriting. It was Thomas’s choppy, scribbling writing. This was directly from him. Part of Anna always thought that it would be Josephine to write back on Thomas’s behalf.
But this was from Thomas.
Anna slid her finger along the envelope, opening it.
She unfolded the piece of paper and began to read.
Dearest Anna -
I am still unsure of the words I have read from you. Not that I doubt what you’ve said, but I doubt someone as gracious and beautiful as yourself could experience something as terrible as a man abandoning you. I told Josephine the letter must have been a joke or written by a ghost... how could someone exist that understands me? I’m not sure I expected a response to my letter but one came. Now I must face what comes next. My dear Anna, if it were up to me, there would be money with this letter for you to come to Kansas to be with me. Josephine even urged me to do so. She even tried to slip her own money into the letter when I wasn’t looking! But I couldn’t send money this time. That would imply your travel to me and your marriage to me. It would imply you packing up your life and leaving. Which I cannot do... at least like this. I hope you don’t take my words the wrong way, but I wanted to give you a chance to read this letter, dear Anna, and make a decision. You wrote to me. I wrote back. If you write to me again the next letter will contain money. This gives you a chance to truly consider everything. My life. My infant son. My broken heart.
If you decide not to write back, I will never be upset with you, dear Anna. Your letter alone has given me a sense of hope only staring in Thomas Jr.’s eyes has ever done. I thank you for that.
Sincerely,
Thomas
Anna handed the letter to Mary.
“Read it,” Anna said.
Mary looked at the letter, putting her glasses on. As she read, Anna began to pace. She saw a piece of paper on the table, right next to a pen. She smiled like she hadn’t smiled in years.
When Mary finished the letter, she looked up and closed her eyes. Anna saw her lips moving, knowing she was praying.
“I knew it,” Mary said. Her eyes were glazed over. “I just knew it...”
“I guess I have a decision to make,” Anna said.
“Anna, I don’t want to be pushy,” Mary said. “But if you wait...”
Anna handed Mary a piece of paper.
“What’s this?” Mary asked.
“My response. I wrote it while you were reading.”
“May I?” Mary asked.
“Of course.”
Mary opened the
letter and Anna thought about her response to Thomas.
Dear Thomas,
Your letter has changed my life already. If I’ve given you hope, you’ve done the same for me. I’ve stood at the window every morning for weeks, waiting for your response.
I won’t waste any of your time, Thomas. We will have the rest of our lives now to exchange words and conversation, in person, as husband and wife.
I can assure you I won’t sleep a wink until I’m with you. And I mean that in a way that my heart will be racing with excitement to meet you, to meet Josephine, and of course, Thomas Jr.
I will accept your hand in marriage, Thomas.
-Anna
Mary hurried to place Anna’s letter into an envelope. She then took Anna’s hand and walked Anna to the post office. Again, Mary paid for the postage. Anna insisted on paying, but Mary refused.
That’s when Anna realized that maybe for every bad person in the world, a good one existed... and that maybe for every tragedy that occurred, a miracle followed right with it.
To give hope.
To give love.
To continue life.
West For Love (A Mail Order Romance Novel) (1) (Anna & Thomas) Page 5