‘I’m angry at myself for trying to hang on for so long to something I knew could never be mine.’
She shook her head. ‘He was yours. You were brothers. He carried a bit of you around in his heart wherever he went. He’ll always be with you, Xane. Always …’ She yawned heavily.
‘I ought to let you rest.’ He leaned over and kissed her brow. ‘Try to get well.’
‘I’ll try, Xane. I will try for you.’
It was only after he’d left the room that Xane finally looked down at what she’d left in his hand. A diamond – a pale-blue brilliant-cut diamond, he realised, judging by the way the light was caught inside it. He didn’t understand why she would present him with such a thing. When his tired brain finally worked it out, the shock almost caused him to drop it.
Oh, my God! She’d handed him Steve. She’d had the ashes crushed. He was holding his lover’s remains in the palm of his hand.
Xane curled his fist tight around the gem, afraid that it might slip away from him as the man from whose essence it was made had already done. He was still standing in a daze when Spook found him and told him it was time to go home.
Chapter 33
It was mid-morning by the time he and Spook returned to the house. Ash, Ginny, Dani and Luthor were all waiting for them in the lounge. Xane walked straight past them and headed to the bathroom. The lump that had formed in his throat when he’d realised what Elspeth had placed in his hand continued to make speaking almost impossible.
‘Someone from the psych unit was talking to her when we left,’ he heard Spook telling them. ‘Paul’s staying with her, and once Sally’s made all the arrangements he’s going to fly back home with her and make sure she gets the help and counselling she needs.’
‘What about Xane, is he all right?’ Dani asked.
‘Xane needs some rest and a bit of time to decompress.’
He gave himself that time – spent for ever in the shower washing away memories and letting the hot water remove the chill from his bones. When he did eventually feel ready to venture back to reality, he found Dani and Luthor waiting for him in the bedroom.
He said nothing while he stowed the diamond in an empty trinket box on the top of the chest of drawers.
‘Xane, do you need a hug?’
He turned and she came towards him, her arms outstretched ready to embrace him.
‘Are you OK? You’re so quiet.’
‘I feel rather like I’ve been forced off a cliff.’
He let her cuddle him close. The scent of her hair and the warmth of her body did make him feel better.
‘Did you get any rest last night?’
‘A few hours on a bench.’
She reached up and cupped the side of his face. ‘Do you want to sleep now?’
He shook his head.
‘We could lie on either side of you and keep you warm.’
‘Tempting.’ But the last thing he needed right now was to be at the centre of any sort of anxiety or strain between his two lovers.
Luthor moved up behind him and encircled his waist, just above where the towel was knotted. He rested his head against Xane’s shoulder blade. ‘There wouldn’t be any tension. Dani and I have resolved our issues.’
‘You have?’ He couldn’t quite accept that as being true. ‘How so?’
‘We made out,’ Dani said. She spoke very quietly, but that seemed to jolt him out of his stupor.
‘When?’ he demanded, extracting himself from between them and turning so that he could see them both. ‘Not while—’
‘Before,’ Luthor reassured him. ‘While you were tied up with the guys making that conference call. Dani helped me deal with my nosebleed. I think bruises turn her on.’
Xane suddenly realised that Luthor was wearing sunglasses indoors. He removed them from his face, thus revealing the damage. Both eyes were ringed with purple and black in the corners.
‘Ouch! That looks sore.’
‘You forgot to warn me that Rock Giant has granite fists.’
‘No.’ Xane shook his head, and found his lips turning upwards. ‘The clue’s in his name. I forgot to remind you to duck.’
Chapter 34
It wasn’t until ten days later that Xane’s libido returned from its hike across the Scandinavian tundra, which probably made it the longest period of time he’d gone without sex since his inglorious days in rehab. Spook had entrusted him with the motorboat and he, Dani and Luthor were out on the lake, cruising with no particular destination in mind, just enjoying the peace and the sunlight, when it dawned on him that not only was he horny, but he had a burning desire to watch his two lovers make out.
‘Chill here for a bit?’ he asked, and as there were no objections he turned off the boat’s engine.
Dani and Luthor were sitting on the rear bench seat, soaking up some rays. Xane stripped off his shirt and cast it aside. ‘So, who’s up for some fun?’
Luthor nudged up his sunglasses to peep at him from underneath them. The bruising had now faded to a mere hint of brown. ‘I’m guessing you’re not suggesting I Spy.’
‘I was thinking of something more adult-orientated.’
‘Ah, strip poker.’
‘Without the cards. As in “strip” and “let’s poke her”.’
‘Xane!’ Dani tore off her own sunglasses and stared at him in outrage, at which point all three of them burst into laughter.
Luthor left his seat and came over to him. He stood before Xane, removed his T-shirt and shucked off his shorts. ‘Thank God. I was beginning to think you were never coming back to us.’
Dani experienced none of the doubts that had previously crippled her enjoyment at watching her two favourite men in the world make out. Instead, she was free to relax and bask in the glorious view of hard male flesh rubbing up against more firm muscle. It seemed incredible that she could stand up at any time she chose and squeeze herself between them both and neither would complain or try to stop her. They both loved her, and her heart swelled to bursting with her feelings for them.
The way they kissed and clutched one another made her a little crazy in the head. She’d put it down to sunstroke, if anybody asked, but really it was pure reaction to them. After a little glance to make sure there were no other boats around, she undid the fastening of her halter-neck dress and let it puddle around her feet. Then she pinged her panties at them to snag their attention.
They spread a blanket in the base of the boat. Xane and Luthor lay either side of her, all three of them stripped of every stitch of clothing. Xane lowered his head and got down between her thighs while Luthor suckled one breast and massaged the other.
‘Are we drawing lots for who gets to go first?’ Luthor asked, speaking around the puckered teat of her nipple.
‘Rock, scissors, paper.’
They gave it three rounds.
‘Dammit.’ Luthor groaned. ‘You win, but at least let me help you find your way in.’
Xane rolled onto his back and let Dani straddle him. He stared down his body as Luthor took hold of his cock and rubbed him against Dani’s slit.
‘Put him in me,’ she demanded, reaching out and fisting her hand in Luthor’s sunny-blond hair. Her eyes closed and her mouth opened as he lined them up. Xane lifted his hips at exactly the same moment that she bore down. They both groaned as their flesh melded. After a few strokes when they’d found a rhythm, she caught hold of Luthor’s hand. ‘Come here. Stand up.’
He straddled Xane in front of her and looked down at her in rapture as she mouthed his cock.
‘Oh, sweet thing, feels so good.’
‘I like making you feel good. I like making you both feel good. I love both of you.’ The declaration earned her two shuddering sighs of pleasure. ‘After Xane’s come inside me, I want you to do the same,’ she whispered against the fullness of Luthor’s shaft.
‘I don’t think that’s going to take long considering how long Xane here has deprived himself.’
‘Are you sugge
sting I have no stamina?’ Xane asked.
‘No, I’m telling you to hurry the fuck up so I can have a turn.’
‘Your wish is my pleasure.’ He ramped up the pace, and shuddered in release only a few moments later.
The moment Xane was done, Luthor was right there, pushing his way into her from behind. ‘Damn, that’s smooth. You’re seriously wet, Dani.’
Not all of that was from her. Some of it was courtesy of Xane. She could feel it wetting her thighs even as Luthor drove into her.
When Xane applied his thumb to her clit, she came hard, driving herself against the twin pressures of his digit and Luthor’s thrusts. She was ready at that moment to lie back and watch them fuck, but it seemed her boys had a different plan.
Xane was hard again by the time Dani had gushed all over Luthor’s shaft. The moment Luthor slipped out of her, Xane filled her up again. She was hotter and wetter than any time he’d ever made love to her before. She collapsed forward against him, and Xane buried his face between her breasts before capturing one nipple in his mouth and sucking hard. Hell, yes! He hadn’t realised how desperately he’d needed this – the taste of sweat and sunshine on her skin, the clasp of her inner muscles around his cock.
‘Really,’ she gasped. ‘Is this a new kind of tag battle?’ She’d been playing old-style fighting games against Ash over the last few days. ‘If it is, I definitely like it.’
Xane had a good idea of a few other things she might like. ‘Stop slacking,’ he said to Luthor. ‘We’re not stopping until she’s well and truly wrung out.’
‘Stop jigging her about so much and I’ve a notion how I might help with that.’
Xane slowed their pace down to a sensual figure-of-eight sway. He watched Luthor rear behind her again, then dip his head down towards her arse.
‘Oh.’ Her eyelids fluttered.
‘What’s he doing? Something good? Something bad? Something terrifically dirty?’
She squirmed with excitement.
‘I’m poking my tongue into places I shouldn’t.’
‘That’s hardly a new thing.’
Dani made some mewling, whimpering noises deep in her throat that made them both chuckle.
‘I think she likes it. Better keep it up.’
‘Absolutely,’ Luthor agreed. ‘Though don’t think I haven’t plans for you too.’
Xane shuddered in sheer anticipation. He still wasn’t prepared for it when Luthor swept his tongue across the underside of his balls, and licked the part of his shaft that wasn’t inside Dani. Damn! That set him quaking. No one had ever licked him while he was this deep inside someone before. He liked firsts, and since as a rule there weren’t enough of them, he savoured this one.
‘I want to watch him fuck you too,’ Dani whispered in his ear, which sent an additional wave of holy fuck! from his head through his straining muscles to his feet.
‘How badly?’
Her breath scalded his ear. ‘Very badly.’
‘As in fucking incredibly badly?’
‘You said it.’
Having Luthor inside him while he was still inside her – how could he possibly resist?
She captured his hands and held them either side of his head, as she pushed up and locked her elbows.
‘You tell him,’ he demanded. It always drove him crazy listening to her tell him all the dirty, wonderful things she wanted to do to him. Especially when those things involved strings of his favourite four-letter words.
‘Luthor, sweetie. If you’re up for it, I’d really like to feel you fucking his arse while he’s buried in my slick wet cunt.’
God, he loved her!
‘And you reckon you can handle that, do you?’ Luthor asked.
The way Xane figured it, there was only one way to find out. It required a change of position. He shook his wrists free of Dani’s grip. Once he was able to move, he flipped the two of them over, so that he was on top and Luthor had space to get behind him. ‘Please tell me you actually stowed some lube in your pockets today.’
‘Xane, I’ve been carrying it around with me for a week.’ Luthor smacked his arse. ‘Let’s get you loosened up a bit, OK?’
Being rimmed was not a new thing. Being rimmed while inside a woman – that was definitely unique. It was also more than enough to make him doubt he was actually ready for this.
Or rather, it convinced him there was nothing he wanted more in the world right now. He just needed to figure out how to cage his excitement a little before he burst, and that wasn’t easy with Luthor’s tongue tickling a whole bank of sensitive nerve endings. When Luthor slid a couple of fingers inside him it was even harder to keep a cap on his reaction.
‘You’d better not draw this out too long, or he’s gonna come before you get inside him,’ Dani warned. She could obviously feel him quaking.
‘I’ll take that as a cue.’
Sweat popped out across Xane’s brow and back when he heard the hiss of air as the lube bottle was given another squeeze. Then it was happening. Luthor was pressing against his hole, coaxing the tight muscles to relax and grant him entry. Xane fought a little before relaxing and easing back against the pressure.
‘Aw, Jeezus!’ That was good. It felt as if Luthor was filling him right through to his cock, which was still inside Dani. ‘Man, you have got to try this. It’s …’ He blanked, forgot whatever it was he’d been going to say. ‘Oh, God, I never imagined. So fucking good.’ He lapsed into the sort of purring noises Dani was wont to make. He didn’t know what he was going to do if she came. It always undid him fast when her orgasm broke and her muscles gripped him tight in that precise and rhythmic way. If she did that while Luthor was inside him, he wasn’t sure how much sanity he’d retain.
Dani cried out. Her body arched up towards him. Xane felt the first flutterings of orgasm simultaneously in his groin and skull. ‘Oh, fuck, I’m going to come.’
And almost immediately the words were out, he did. Then Dani toppled with him and finally Luthor came in his arse.
Afterwards, they all collapsed in a heap and didn’t let go of one another for a long, long time. Xane didn’t feel the need to cling too tightly. He was content just to know they were there. Finally, he knew without a doubt that he’d found the place and the security he’d always been looking for.
Epilogue
Five months later. Christmas Eve.
Watching Black Halo turn from a handful of ordinary guys into the living rock legends several thousand double-hard bastards were baying for was a magical sight. Dani couldn’t stop grinning as she watched Xane slip in his yellow cat’s-eye contact lenses and ring his eyes with kohl. It seemed like for ever since she’d seen him prowl across the stage and enthral the audience with his presence. In fact, it had been exactly six months.
‘Five minutes, guys. Do any last smooching that needs to happen, and then get your butts lined up.’ Cave Troll was in his element, following his elevation to chief roadie.
Almost everyone backstage was hyped, with the possible exception of Liam, who’d been prevailed upon to fill in temporarily for Elspeth, who was still on sabbatical. He looked as if he was about to shit himself.
‘I can’t do this,’ he kept muttering to anyone who would listen. ‘I’m not cut out to perform. Backstage is where I belong.’
‘No one is even going to look at you.’ Ash slapped a hand upon his shoulder. ‘They’ll be too busy sucking down the awesome that is moi. Look, wear shades if you have to.’ He offered the pair he had hooked into the neck of his T-shirt. ‘Everyone knows they make you invisible.’
‘It’s true,’ Xane agreed.
‘And if you don’t believe them –’ Spook gave him a gentle shove in the direction of the stage ‘– then at least if you’re wearing them it’ll be so bloody dark you won’t be able to make out the audience. Just don’t trip over any leads on your way out.’
‘Sixty seconds, guys.’
‘Smooches,’ Ginny insisted. She wrapped her lithe body around
Ash. ‘Afterwards, I’m going to have a special treat for you.’
‘No one ever gives me a special treat,’ Rock Giant grumbled. He gave the coloured spikes of his hair another blast of hair spray, just in case.
‘One for you, and one for you.’ Dani swirled around between her two favourite men giving them both good-luck kisses. She got herself so dizzy, she almost planted a smacker on Spook’s lips too. ‘Oops, sorry.’
He laughed and pecked her on both cheeks before bounding out onto the stage, overflowing with energy.
‘Go bring the roof down, guys.’
The drums crashed to life and the whine of Ash and Spook’s guitars mesmerised the crowd. The deeper sound of Paul’s bass layered in some darker themes. Liam came good with the keys, perfectly making his cue.
Dani’s skin prickled with anticipation as she waited for Xane’s voice. His growl sent the audience wild. They almost drowned him out with their screams.
Dani screamed right along with them. ‘They’re back, Ginny.’ She and her best friend exchanged a high five. ‘Let’s push to the front and watch the show.’
Author’s Note & Acknowledgments
The former residents of the Rebel House – you know who you are – profound apologies for stealing your game. It was a fab one!
Karen Sellers, thank you for being an awesome friend, and supporting me through the highs and multiple lows of the writing process. I love you for loving my dirty rock stars as much as I do. If I could give you Spook, you know I totally would.
To every single reader who has been following me along this journey, thank you for your patience. Next up is the conclusion of Ash and Ginny’s story, and then yes, Karen, I’ll finally let you know all about Spook.
Finally, if you’d like to receive notifications about my future books, then you can join my mailing list at http://www.madelynne-ellis.com/?page_id=619. Subscribers all receive three free reads.
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