by A. J. Wells
I get my balance with his help, “Okay, it’s settled. I just didn’t want anyone upset with me because of it.” They both say that would never happen. They’re used to Miss Lili doing these things and wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m convinced it’s okay. Bob goes into the office to see Maria and I start outside, but Steve stops me.
“You look like you had a good night, more rested. I’m glad number thirty one took Chaucee, even if I did have to sleep alone.” He’s teasing me and smiling. His smile spread to his hazel eyes and caught my attention for a moment. Then he put his arm around my shoulders and starts toward the back door, “We’d better rescue the dogs, Grams loves playin’ with them too much. Has she seen Chaucee, yet?”
“That was the second thing she did. The first was to come through the front door. Then she checked on José.” We laugh.
“I believe she thinks of them as her babies. She has no living children, wasn’t able to carry them after she got pregnant. Sshh, she won’t like my telling that.” We continue across the grass to where Miss Lili is sitting, playing with the dogs. She’s a sight, white hair in a sea of multi-colored fur. I can hear her talking lovingly to them and laughing. She has a sound mind, so the donation stays here and she gets a receipt for tax deductions. Steve chuckles, “She’s having a great time and acting younger every day. She said the other day that sometimes a person needs a little shake up in the routine they call living. Seein’ her enjoyin’ herself so much, makes me think she’s right, but then she usually is, and she’ll tell ya so.” His smile and the gleam in his eyes show his affection and respect for his grandmother. He pulls me closer, surprising me. I’d forgotten he still had his arm around my shoulders.
When we get to the pack of dogs, Miss Lili asks for help standing and Steve helps her up. I feel a chill, in ninety plus degree heat, when he moves his arm. He asks me and Miss Lili out to supper before we let the dogs out at nine. Miss Lili readily agrees and, when I’m hesitant, she talks me into going with them. Steve seems a bit put out that I hadn’t agreed eagerly. When Steve asks where we want to go, Miss Lili suggests pizza and I agree. Steve laughs and calls the dogs to go in. We let them get settled in their kennels before we close their doors, clean the office and close for the day.
Maria has asked Bob over for supper, rather than spoiling Shay by eating out too often. So we go our separate ways. After supper, we drop Miss Lili off at home and Steve takes me back to the office. He helps me with the dogs and we say goodnight.
At home I take a shower and go to bed, after Maria’s call. Seems the night at home with Shay and Bob went very well. Bob even kissed her goodnight. I fell asleep wondering what it would be like to be kissed again. It’s been about two years since I’ve experienced affection, time flies when you’re busy. Who am I kidding, I’ve not been that busy. I’ve become disinterested in the games surrounding dating and relationships. Disillusioned is more like it, I guess. Steve seems very nice, but is it a game with him, too? Will it hurt to find out? With that I fall asleep.
I have two appointments this morning. Those done, I turn my attention to the newsletter. It’s ready to be distributed and the posters for this weekend are ready to go out. The newsletter is going together much faster now that it’s organized. Bob comes by and takes the posters to them put out, I take the newsletters and the list of places to put them.
Steve didn’t come by today. I suspect I miss him.
Maria invites me over for supper tonight, since I have to stay in town to let the dogs out at nine. Shay’s entertaining and talks about Bob, a lot. After Shay’s put to bed, Maria and I get a chance to talk. She wants to know what the problem is between Steve and me. I didn’t know there was a problem. She and Bob have talked about me and my reluctant attitude toward Steve. Maria says she doesn’t understand the harm in being friendly. I have to tell her I don’t understand, either. I like Steve, he’s a nice guy, but something’s holding me back. Maria says I’m about to lose a good thing. Steve wants to date me, but I’m acting like I don’t want to see him.
That’s when Maria reminds me Steve’s fiancé left him, just short of the alter. His ex broke up with him a week before the wedding. Her chance to join a band as a singer was more important. The last he’d heard of her, she was pregnant and married to some cowboy in Arizona. He’s not really been interested in anyone since, dated a little, but nothing serious. Sorta like what happened to me. That’s a little more information than Miss Lili had told us.
I ask Maria about her and Bob. She says she’s being cautious. She has Shay to consider and doesn’t want to rush things. She likes Bob, very much, but she can’t take a chance and rush into anything that might hurt Shay. Unfortunately, Shay’s already taken with him. She doesn’t want to put Bob off, but Shay’s enthusiasm is making it difficult for her to sort out her feelings.
I suggest maybe she already knows it’s too late to protect Shay, and Bob might hurt him by leaving, or with his attraction to her. She admits that’s true, but she can’t have men roaming through her and Shay’s lives like it was a main thoroughfare. She’s dated a little, but not in the last year. She found the men were passing through, on their way to someone else, or not wanting to start with a toddler. She mistrusts men for many reasons and so she takes it slow with them.
I go to the office to let the dogs out and Steve’s waiting for me. I’m surprised. He helps me with the dogs, but he wants to talk, too. He wants to know why I seem to be afraid of him. I tell him I’m not afraid of him. I consider him a good friend, nothing to be afraid of. We’re sitting in the grass with the dogs when he blatantly says, “I like ya a lot and I wanna go out with ya, but I don’t know if you’re willing.”
“We’ve been out several times, and I enjoyed myself. I like you, but I haven’t dated in a long time. I don’t know how to act in that kinda situation anymore. You might find I’m no fun, so can we see each other with other people around ‘til we decide if we like each other enough?” Thank goodness the sun’s going down and he can’t see my face. I’m having a difficult time correlating my thoughts with my words.
“I don’t mind others bein’ around, it takes the pressure off of us to entertain each other and lets us be ourselves rather than self conscious and nervous. But there’s one thing I have to do.” With that he stands and pulls me up. He puts his arms around me, pulling me closer and kisses me, gently. My stomach feels like lightening is shooting across it in all different directions. I’m afraid to react, or dare move to put my arms around him. When he pulls back, he’s breathing hard and so am I. “Sher,” he whispers as he pulls me back to him and holds me. “I didn’t expect that,” he whispers, “but I liked it.” I’m unable to speak at all. Number thirty one jumps up on him, demanding his attention, and wanting in with her puppies. We break apart and put the dogs away. Before we get in our trucks to leave, he hugs me and kisses me on the head, the easiest place for him to reach since I only come to his chest. We say goodnight and go our separate ways.
I don’t let myself think about the kiss ‘til I get home, a tough thing for me to do since it’s taken over my thoughts. If I’d allowed it full thought, I’d have had an accident, for sure. I walk in and flop down in the arm chair, letting out my breath with a whoosh. That kiss was too much. I need to remember what I did that took it that far. I go over my actions through my shower which is cooler tonight than usual, but I can’t remember any of them, just the lightening. But I must’ve done something. What!? I fall asleep trying to remember.
Friday morning I get a call and have to go out to the Wilcox ranch, a sick horse. I’m gone most of the morning. When I get back Maria has things on schedule. The dogs are outside and she’s in process of cleaning the kennels. I check on the puppies, finding the runt of the new litter in trouble. I tend to her with Maria’s help and she’s better. Maria and I finish cleaning the kennels just before Miss Lili comes in with lunch. We clean up to have lunch.
Miss Lili talks through lunch. She tells us about how the boys are gr
inning and beaming today. She’s not sure why, but she believes it has to do with us. She wants to know what happened last night. I haven’t had time to talk to Maria, yet, so I hesitate. She assures us that if we don’t tell her, the boys will. I tell her Steve helped me with the dogs last night. She knew that, but what else happened? I admit to being kissed. Aha. Then she looks at Maria. Maria admits to being kissed, too.
“Just as I thought, the boys are in love. I’ve never seen them this way before. They’re walking on clouds, smiling, teasing, in high spirits and ‘ready to slay dragons’, as my mother would say.” Maria and I look at her, confusion showing on our faces. “You don’t have to understand, right now, suffice that you know those boys are smitten. They have it bad for you girls. Isn’t that the way it’s said these days?”
Maria and I start talking, not understanding, because we haven’t done anything and we certainly haven’t made up our minds about the guys. Miss Lili tells us that isn’t important. What’s important is that the boys have feelings and hope. After their past with women, they’ve found someone they feel they can trust and care about.
We tell her our past is just as checkered, but we can’t jump in like they, evidently, have. She says they’ll take it slow, but they have it bad and that’s good. She was getting concerned about them. They’d become jaded about women, not finding one that would last. Miss Lili adds she couldn’t be more pleased with their choices. We have nothing to say. Miss Lili has given us her stamp of approval, whether we want it or not.
But Miss Lili isn’t through yet. She talks about how Bob’s smitten with Shay, too. How they all find Shay well mannered, fun, out going, handsome, and loving. She praises Maria on her parenting skills. Maria thanks her for the compliments for and of Shay. Bob, in his playing with Shay, thinks he’ll be athletic and academic and he should know with a B.S. in education and a minor in child psychology. Steve has a B.S. in agriculture with a minor in business management. He wanted to be a rancher, but became a fireman because it was what the town needed. Steve is actually the Fire Chief. They trained to be firemen in different places, Bob in Atlanta and Steve in California. The two came home and putting their training together, formed the fire department.
We talk ‘til two o’clock. Two hours for lunch, unheard of before today. We check the schedule box and start to work on the next newsletter. Steve and Bob come in at five fifteen. We put the dogs out and notice Miss Lili was right, the boys are in good spirits today. They’ve always teased and made jokes, but today they’re quieter, in a loud way. They’re smiling, and beaming, too.
I go in to check the new puppies and Chaucee. They’re getting along very well. I go into the office to find Bob and Maria in a kiss that embarrasses me. I back out, before I interrupt them. All the puppies aren’t totally house broke yet so I clean some of the kennels. Steve comes looking for me. He put his arms around me and pulls me to him from behind, kissing the top of my head. He turns me and kisses me gently, causing the lightening storm in my stomach. When he pulls away he says, “I’ve been waiting all day for that.” During the kiss, I’d heard the door from the office open and close, but I couldn’t break the contact. I guess I’d waited for the kiss, too. This time, I find my arms around him when the kiss is broken. “What are you doing tonight, besides the obvious here? It’s Friday night and I’d like to take you out. I’m sure Bob’s going to ask Maria out, we can double.”
“I don’t know. When I finish here, I’ll need to shower and change clothes.”
He looked me up and down, “That’s a picture you should never’ve put in my head.” He smiles and steps back. Maria and Bob come in to find out if we’re going out tonight. “I don’t know,” Steve answers, without letting me go, “she hasn’t answered yet.”
“By the time I get through here, get home, shower and change it’ll be almost midnight. It’ll be too late to go out.” I can’t work out a way to get it all done sooner. Maria suggests a call to my mother for a change of clothes and, maybe, Mom and Dad will let the dogs out at nine, for me. Maria wants to go out with Bob, I can hear it in her voice, but not alone. “That’ll be quite an inconvenience for Mom and Dad, but I’ll ask.” Mom and Dad are only too happy to help, they have dance class at seven, anyway. It should be over before nine so they’ll let the dogs out, no problem. They’ll be here about six. The date is on. Everyone shows their joy with hugs.
Okay, I have about an hour to get things done. I’ll shower and change at Maria’s and the guys will pick us up there.
Mom calls from my house. “What do you want me to bring?”
“I don’t know. All I know is we’re going dancing. I haven’t been out in so long I don’t know what to wear.” I look at Maria and get a shrug. She doesn’t know what to wear either.
Miss Lili steps into the office, “The boys say the girls at the bar wear jeans and tank tops or shirts. Oh, and boots.” Maria and I look at each other, shrug and I tell Mom what was said and it’s decided.
Mom and Dad are at the office at six fifteen with my clothes, make-up, and shampoo and conditioner. They’re sure we can improvise anything else I might need. I thank them and decide I need to talk to them more. I didn’t know they were taking dance lessons. We say goodbye and Maria and I head to her house. Miss Lili rode her tricycle home, where the boys are getting ready for our date.
The guys arrive at eight to pick us up. They look great. We go to the drive inn for a burger then out to “Wylie’s.” Steve and Bob seem to be known here, everyone speaks to them when we come in. We excuse ourselves to go to the bathroom. We’re taken aback by the familiarity Bob and Steve are experiencing. But in a small town, the guys could walk into any place and know everybody in it, and so can we. Being known somewhere, anywhere, around here is the usual, not the unusual. As proof, most of the same people say “hello” to us when we entered.
The band’s set up and Maria and I are surprised to find the band is local. We know everyone in it. What we didn’t know was these people are musicians and singers. Bob and Steve are telling us about the music while we wait for our beer. They tune up then come over to our table to say “hi.” Three of the band members are volunteer firemen, one of them a woman, but this time we have time to introduce ourselves. Janice, Randy, Wayne, Brad and Willis make up the band. They’re all ranchers except Janice, who’s a rancher’s wife and works at the hardware store in town. They move around the room greeting the other patrons, grab a beer and start to play. They’re playing country and classic rock ‘n’ roll. We watch them and the dancers for the first song or two then the guys ask us to dance.
Maria and I look at each other and admit to the guys we haven’t danced in years. They smile saying they haven’t either, but they’re willing to try if we are. We get up to dance to a slow song. None of us were wrong, we haven’t danced in a long time and it shows. A couple of friends come over to help us with our steps. We dance with them for a while, perfecting our “stepping on toes” move. Then they start teaching us the line dances. We’re better at the line dances, there’s no guessing what the next move will be. The other dancers help us stay within the limits of dancing and no stepping on toes, either. Before we know it, the four of us are really dancing and having fun.
The second band break, I go outside for some fresh air and Steve follows me. We go to the side of the building to be out of the way of the door and the people coming and going. There’s a breeze blowing, something we haven’t had for several months. “You think we’ll get the hang of slow dancing?”
“I don’t know, but I’m having fun. I didn’t know this place was here, shows you how much I get around.” I answer.
“If it wasn’t for Janice, Willis and Randy I wouldn’t know this place existed, either. They talk at the station about the things they see and the people that come here. Most of the firemen come here when they can. Bob and I have been here a time or two, but usually sit and listen to the band. There aren’t many single women that come here. I hear that makes the place a little more
laid back and quiet. Bob and I like it, but don’t come very often, since the band declared us the most eligible bachelors in the bar the last time we were here, mostly because we’re the only bachelors in the bar. We got teased about not coming out after that.”
“Why didn’t you come out more?” I’m curious.
“We didn’t take the time to come out. We didn’t have anyone to come with. We don’t drink much, a couple of beers a night, but we take up a table that could be making more money for the bar. And, of course, there’s Grams and her activities. She likes to keep us to herself sometimes.”
“That’s some pretty good reasons.”
Steve moves closer to put his arm around my shoulder. I don’t move away, hoping he’ll kiss me, but he just snug’s me up to him and holds me. He kisses my head before he suggests we go back in. We turn to see Bob and Maria in a lip lock that won’t stop and didn’t, ‘til Steve asks, “Hey Bob, y’all going in?” Bob raises his head says yeah, but never looks away from Maria. We turn, take a few steps and turn back to see them back in the kiss. We smile, but Steve hollers “Come on you two.” They look at us, come back to earth and move toward us. Maria has her head down and Bob has the look of murder in his eyes. Steve just smiles at him. Maria and I go to the bathroom.
“That was some kinda serious kiss.” I say, teasing her.
“They’re all like that. I can’t say I object because it’s wonderful. I want to sleep with him, but I can’t with Shay around and I’m not on birth control, yet. Then there’s the waiting period for them to take effect. But I don’t know if I can hold out much longer. I’m thankful, and mad, Steve broke it up.” She’s drying her hands.