by Harley Wylde
“You think she’d go there?” he asked.
“I have no fucking clue where she’d go, but it’s worth a shot. If not them, who’s the next closest? She doesn’t know anyone outside of the clubs. It’s possible she’s going it alone, but I think she’d try to take refuge somewhere. She’s still too fucked-up over what happened to trust just anyone.”
“No club we call an ally would take her in without calling us.” Grizzly folded his arms and leaned them on the bar top. “Unless she turned those big brown eyes on them and begged for some time. Which sounds like something she’d do.”
“Tell me which direction to go, and I’ll hit the road now. I’ll bring her home.”
I’d even drive one of the fucking trucks if I had to. No way was she getting on my bike while she was carrying my kid. I’d do anything to bring her back. If I hadn’t been such an ass, she’d have never left. We could have faced Grizzly together, and she’d be safe right now.
He gave me a faint smile. “Home, huh? And just whose home would you be taking her to once you got her back here? Mine or yours?”
With any other woman, I’d flat out tell her she was coming to my house, moving in, taking my protection. Lilian wasn’t just any woman. She’d been through hell, and I wasn’t sure how she’d react if I did that with her, especially after the way we’d left things. Or rather, the vile shit I’d said to push her away. Looked like I’d done a bang-up job, since she hadn’t even told me she was pregnant with my kid. I’d fucked this up enough already.
“I’ll let her decide,” I said. “Anyone else, I’d just fucking tell her she was coming home with me, but…”
“But you’re worried Lilian might not do so well with orders,” Grizzly said.
“Right.”
Griz rubbed a hand along his beard. He was quiet for a few minutes. I wasn’t sure if that was a good silence, or an I needed to get my ass as far from him as possible type of silence. When he finally spoke, it wasn’t what I’d expected. At all.
“Let me ask you something, and you don’t have to answer me, just think about it. The times you spent with Lilian, did she seem to ever shy away when you told her to do something? Ever shrink from you in fear? Give you any indication that she didn’t trust you completely?”
Only when I’d been a dick after I fucked her. Until then, she’d leaned into my touch, hadn’t flinched away after the first session or two. We’d grown close while I’d taught her to defend herself. During those hours, I’d gotten to see a side of Lilian I didn’t think she showed anyone else. The answer must have shown on my face because Grizzly was nodding. He pointed a finger at me, then got up and walked off. So, maybe Lilian wouldn’t freak the hell out if I demanded she come home with me. I just had to find her first.
Griz said that no one knew where she was, and Outlaw claimed her phone was off. That didn’t seem like something a pregnant woman would do. Wouldn’t she want to keep it charged and nearby in case she needed help? And I knew which phone Lil had. It took that fucking thing a good thirty to sixty seconds to boot up once she turned it on, and in an emergency, every second counted. No, my money was on her phone being on, which would mean Outlaw had lied to the Pres. I just didn’t know why, but I was going to find out.
I finished my beer and left the clubhouse. Getting on my bike, I started her up and headed for Outlaw’s house. The fucker was going to talk, no matter what it took. I’d threaten to take a baseball bat to his precious computers. I pulled into his driveway and hadn’t even turned off the bike before he stepped out, leaning against a porch post. He shoved his hands into his pockets.
“I’m not telling you shit,” he said.
Fucker. Like I’d thought this would be easy? Yeah, right. I’d come prepared to threaten what he held dear. Until Elena, Outlaw hadn’t loved anyone. His computers, however, were his babies.
“Yeah, that’s what I figured.” I shut off the bike and made my way over to him. “But if I threaten your precious babies I figured you’d start singing like a canary.”
Outlaw rolled his eyes. “Have you been watching old gangster movies? What the fuck, Dragon? Besides, I don’t hack much these days. Just the basics.”
He pulled his hand from his pocket and flexed it, reminding me of the hell he’d been through all to save Wire’s woman. It made me feel a little like a dick, but I needed to know where Lilian was, or at least if she was safe.
“I’m not fucking around, Outlaw. I know damn well you know exactly where Lilian is. There’s no way she’d shut off her phone, and since you can track it, you know where she went.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to be found,” he said. “She seems to think you’ll be angry that she’s pregnant, that you need time to adjust to the idea.”
What. The. Fuck. “So you did talk to her. Is she safe? Is she… Just tell me she’s okay.”
Outlaw relaxed and sighed, shaking his head. “Should have seen this shit coming. I knew damn well if you went there it had to mean something. No one would do this shit and incur Grizzly’s wrath over a piece of ass. Why does she think you don’t want her? Or the baby?”
I rubbed the back of my neck and tried to think of a way to tell him without coming off as a complete asshole, but truthfully, I had been an ass to her. I decided to come clean and told him about the one and only time I’d fucked Lilian, or rather how I acted afterward. The scowl he sent my way would have scared a lesser man. What he didn’t have in bulk, he had in brains, and I knew it wouldn’t take much for him to wipe out my entire existence with his damn computer. Or my bank account for that matter. He didn’t need fast fingers for that sort of thing, which he’d proven several times.
“I was trying to push her away because I knew Grizzly wouldn’t want her with a biker. She went to college, and she’s really fucking smart, Outlaw. Lil could have had any guy out there, even a doctor. What the hell does she want with a biker like me?” I asked.
He smirked and stared me down. It was creepy as fuck, but I didn’t back off. I just waited him out. Sooner or later, he’d tell me what the hell that smile meant.
“You’re missing a key part to what you just said. She could have any man she wants, but she chose you. I have no fucking idea why, but she must have trusted you. I used past tense because after what you did, you’ll probably have to do some major groveling to get her back.”
Well, that wasn’t a “no” to him helping me. Did that mean he’d tell me where she was? He just stared at me, and I started to feel a little twitchy. “Are you going to help me or not?”
“Come back tomorrow. I want to talk to Lilian and see what she has to say. If she doesn’t want your ass anywhere near her, then I’ll give her a few more days. Just know that she’s safe. And if you tell Grizzly I know where she is, I’ll be sure he knows exactly what you did to her.”
Shit. That wasn’t something I ever wanted the Pres to find out. He might be okay with me going after Lilian and making her mine, but if he heard the crap I’d said to her, he’d gut me like a damn fish. No, I’d be dressed-out like a fucking deer, and he’d probably leave my carcass hanging near the gate as a warning to anyone else. I was so fucked.
“Fine. I’ll be back tomorrow. But, Outlaw, when you talk to her, let her know I asked about her? I don’t like that she’s out there somewhere alone, and pregnant with my kid. I wish like hell she’d come to me. I fucked up, and I know it, but I was trying to do the right thing. She deserves better than me.”
“On that I think everyone will agree,” Outlaw said. “But she chose you, Dragon, and she’s the only opinion that should have fucking mattered.”
I hung my head, knowing he was right. I only hoped she gave me a chance to explain. I should have grown a set and told her she was mine that day. Faced Griz like a man. But no, I’d pushed her away, and look how that had worked out. I’d known she deserved better than me, but now I felt like she deserved better because I was a fucking pussy.
“Just tell her I’m sorry.” I didn’t give him a
chance to say anything else. I got on my bike and hauled ass out of there. When I got to my house, I stared at it and wondered if Lilian would like living in it. Since I was lower down on the totem pole around here, I’d gotten a smaller home. It was still three bedrooms and two bathrooms, but they weren’t spacious rooms. She was used to living with Grizzly in his big-ass fucking house.
I went inside, tossing my keys onto the coffee table. My furniture was comfortable, and while it wasn’t what I’d consider stylish, it was still nice. The walls were all the same damn color in every room. It was a bachelor pad. If Lil moved in, she could change whatever she wanted. I wasn’t loaded, but I had enough for her to pick out some paint and maybe change up a few smaller things. Any major overhauls would have to be put on the back burner, especially since we had a kid on the way.
A baby. Fuck. I didn’t know what the hell to do with a kid. I pulled out my phone and started searching for articles on how to care for a kid. Then I researched the best way to care for a pregnant woman. One thing became clear, I had a lot to learn, and if I wanted any painting done, it needed to happen before Lil came here. Every damn thing I pulled up said paint fumes were bad while she was pregnant.
I knew that Dingo and Mei were new to the parenting thing. Which meant neither of them were sleeping much. No fucking way I’d call over there and take a chance on waking up the baby Wen. Adalia and Badger had just had a kid too, but I wasn’t taking a chance on Badger killing me if I woke up Gunner. Which left Outlaw and Elena. He wasn’t too happy with me right now, and might very well ignore my call. Or hang up on me. I called and promised I’d hang up after four rings if no one answered.
“What the hell do you want?” Outlaw asked when he picked up.
“So, uh… I wanted to set up a nursery, but I don’t know what color to paint it, or what type of shit I need. Figured since you’re going through this right now, you could point me in the right direction.”
“Fucking hell,” Outlaw muttered. “Yellow or green walls if you want it to be neutral. Why are you setting up a nursery if she’s on the run?”
“Because I’m going to go get her. Maybe not today, or tomorrow. But soon. She can’t run forever, Outlaw. That kid is mine, and so is she.”
He snorted. “Does she know that?”
“Not yet, but she will.”
Chapter Three
Lilian
The smell of coffee and bacon woke me. Dad must be up. Shella can’t cook.
Then everything hit me. I wasn’t at home. Shella had run her mouth to Dad about me being pregnant and I’d left. Oh, God. What had I done? I pressed a hand to my mouth and bolted from the bed. I didn’t know where the bathroom was, but thankfully found it before I threw up. After I flushed the toilet and stood, my gaze caught a reflection in the mirror. A big beast of a man stood in the doorway, his tattooed forearms exposed, and a steaming coffee cup clutched in his huge hand.
“There’s extra toothbrushes in the drawer to the right of the sink. I’m Beast. Come to the kitchen when you’re ready.” He turned and walked off, leaving me feeling a bit shaken.
Not long on words. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I’d thought he looked like a beast. Figured that would be his actual name. Or rather, his road name. I brushed my teeth, splashed some water on my face, then went back to the room where I’d woken. My bag was on the floor and I pulled out a change of clothes and my toiletries. He’d said to meet him when I was ready. I hoped that meant he was okay with me taking a shower first.
I didn’t linger, but the warm water made me feel more human. I saturated my hair with conditioner, then combed it through. By the time I’d rinsed, gotten out, and dried off, I was thinking a little clearer. I knew that I’d need to call Dad and at least get him off Dragon’s back. Regardless of what Shella had told him, Dragon hadn’t forced me. I’d wanted him, and even though he’d only offered the one time, I’d taken it. Anything had to be better than nothing, or so I’d told myself. Except now I knew what I was missing, and it had kept me awake at night for months.
I made my way to the kitchen, finding it after a few minutes, and Beast kicked a chair out from the table. I sat and he slid a coffee cup over to me, except it wasn’t coffee. My nose wrinkled at the scent of cinnamon and apples. “This isn’t coffee.”
“No shit. It’s herbal tea. Not my first rodeo. No caffeine, little chick.”
I sighed and took a sip, surprised I actually liked it, and my stomach wasn’t revolting. Next, he gave me some toast and eggs, all of which stayed down. I was feeling more like myself once I was full, and the hot tea was easing the tension in my body. Although, it made me wonder what he’d meant. He made it sound like he’d been around pregnant women before, but I hadn’t seen signs of a woman living here, or a kid.
“Thank you. And thank you for not turning me away last night.”
He tapped the table. “About that. I don’t mind you staying a bit, but you need to call Grizzly. At least let him know that you’re safe. If you don’t want to disclose your location, I’ll give you a few days, but, little chick, this is just a rest stop. You know damn well you need to go back home.”
“I know. I’m just not ready yet.” Or possibly ever. Just because he told me to leave didn’t mean I’d go back to the Devil’s Fury. I could only imagine how awkward things would be with Dragon if I were to go back.
He studied me, and I couldn’t help but squirm under his intense gaze. “That baby in your belly also property of Devil’s Fury? And I don’t mean in the way that you’re carrying it and you’re Devil’s Fury property. Who’s the daddy?”
My stomach started to churn and I twisted my hands in my lap. Shit. I didn’t know if he knew Dragon or not. What if they were friends and he got pissed that I’d taken off the way I had? It was risky, but he didn’t seem like the type of man to back down. Beast had alpha written all over him, and I’d been around domineering bikers long enough to know when they wanted something, they got it. Whether it was given freely or not.
“It’s Dragon’s baby, and before you ask, no, I didn’t tell him.” I blew out a breath and stared at the table. “It was just the one time and he told me to take the morning after pill. Obviously, I didn’t. I’m sure he’s pissed at me.”
Beast just stared, not saying a word. He pulled a phone from his pocket and dialed a number. Then he put it on speaker. My stomach clenched again and I worried I would throw up my breakfast. Was he calling Grizzly?
When the call connected and I heard Outlaw’s voice, I felt every muscle in my body relax. Since he knew where I was already, it should be safe to talk to him. Unless he’d told Dad, or worse, Dragon.
“How is she?” Outlaw asked.
“The little chick is fine, and she’s right here. You’re on speaker,” Beast said.
“Lilian, you can rest a day or two, but you need to come back. Things aren’t as bad you feared. Grizzly is worried, but he’s not bellowing in rage anymore. Hell, he had a civil conversation with Dragon yesterday from what I heard.”
“Dragon doesn’t want me, or this baby,” I said, fighting back the despair that welled up inside me.
“Dragon isn’t pissed, Lilian. Shocked. But not pissed,” Outlaw said. “He’s worried about you too. When he heard how you took off, I think he got scared you’d end up hurting yourself by driving off the road. He came here. Asking if I knew where you were.”
“But you’d already told everyone you didn’t,” I said.
Beast arched an eyebrow and I wondered if he’d known that part. He must have if he realized Grizzly didn’t know my location, but Outlaw had already spoken to someone here. Unless his club was keeping things from him. I was just mucking things up left and right, not just for me but for everyone involved.
“Dragon isn’t stupid, Lilian. He knew you’d keep your phone on, which meant I could track it. He doesn’t know I can track your car too. That’s still just between us. And now Beast.”
Beast grunted. “She can res
t a day or two, but her man needs to come get her.”
I gasped and shot to my feet. “I’m not his.”
Beast gave a pointed look at my stomach. “Little chick, the babe in your belly says otherwise. Whether you like it or not, you’re Dragon’s. Just a matter of whether or not he’s man enough to claim you.”
“I’ll give you twenty-four hours, Lilian. Then I’m telling them where you are.” Outlaw sighed. “Running isn’t the answer.”
Easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one knocked-up from a one-day stand, by a man who’d insisted I take the morning after pill, after he’d made sure I knew he’d been with the women at the clubhouse just the night before. Bile rose in my throat and I felt the blood drain from my face as I remembered his words. I pressed a hand to my mouth and ran from the room, finding the nearest bathroom. I dropped to my knees and threw up.
Beast found me a moment later. “Something you’re not saying?”
I slumped against the wall and looked up at him through blurry eyes. A tear slipped down my cheek and I hastily dashed it away. What would it hurt to tell him? He didn’t seem like a complete asshole. The tears fell faster and soon I didn’t bother wiping them off my cheeks.
Beast hunkered down in front of me, running a finger along my jaw. “Little chick, I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on. Did Dragon do something he shouldn’t? You said it was just the one time, but did he maybe push you into something you didn’t really want?”
Why did everyone think Dragon was capable of such a thing? The guy might be a dick, but he wasn’t a rapist. I shook my head. “It wasn’t that.”
“Then what. Help me understand.”
“He… he said it was just the one time and that it couldn’t be more. Told me to keep my distance after. He warned me before anything happened.” I drew in a shuddering breath. “It was after that everything fell apart.”