by Harley Wylde
“You said all that to push me away?” I asked slowly. “It wasn’t true?”
“No, it wasn’t true. I hadn’t been with a woman recently when I…” His cheeks flushed a little and he cleared his throat. “Anyway, I lied so that you wouldn’t try to hold onto me. Not because I didn’t want you, but because I wasn’t worthy of you. I’m still not.”
My throat felt tight and I tried to swallow. “And now? Have there been women since then?”
His features tightened, and I dreaded his response. I shouldn’t have asked, not if I wasn’t prepared for the answer. I wanted to hear that he’d not touched another woman, hadn’t wanted anyone else. It was foolish to think that. Dragon was attractive, single, and he’d never lacked for female company. I’d heard all about the many women he had in a night. Just not recently.
“I let some club whores sit on my lap now and then, at least those first few weeks. I felt them up a little.” He glanced at me. “But I didn’t fuck them. My dick hasn’t been inside anyone but you since that day.”
“Not even their mouths?” I asked, remembering his cruel words about getting sucked off the night before we were together.
He winced. “I deserved that. And no, not even their mouths. Only action my dick has seen in months is my own hand. Saying those things to you was the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done, but I saw the way you looked at me after.” How I’d looked at him? I must have appeared as confused as I felt because he answered my unspoken question. “You had hope etched all over your face, like you expected me to go tell your dad I wanted to keep you. I knew that wouldn’t be a good thing for either of us, but especially you.”
I was twenty-two and everyone thought they knew what was best for me. Grizzly had pushed me to get a college degree, and while he’d been right about that, it irked me that he hadn’t given me the time to figure it out for myself. Maybe if I’d been louder about it, like Shella, things would have been different. I hadn’t had that much fight in me at the time. Dragon pushed me away because it was in my best interest. Outlaw tracked my damn car so he’d know where I was, and therefore my father would too, every second of the day.
“When do I get to decide what’s best for me?” I asked quietly. “When I’m twenty-five? Thirty? Or will I die never having been given the choice of making my own decisions without some man telling me he knows what’s best for me? You. My dad. Hell, probably every Devil’s Fury officer, member, and even the Prospects think they know what’s best for me.”
“Damn,” he muttered. “I wasn’t trying to treat you like a child, Lil.”
I knew he hadn’t done it on purpose. None of them did. They wanted to protect me, keep me safe. I loved that, to an extent, but I could be sheltered by their strength and still be able to make decisions about my future. If I’d wanted to be with Dragon, and he’d wanted me in return, why was that a bad thing? Yes, I was glad I’d gone to college, even if it was only for two years, but it would have been nice to decide that for myself and not feel pushed into going.
“In all the time I’ve been with the Devil’s Fury, I’ve never wanted to be touched by a man. Even when Grizzly hugs me, there are times I tense up and my mind goes back to Colombia. It was different with you. When you touched me, even just during our lessons, I burned for more. I wanted you to kiss me, to make love to me. I just wanted you and only you.” I sighed. “I may never be able to stand having another man touch me for the rest of my life, Dane. You made me feel safe. Special. Until you didn’t.”
We came to a stop in the doctor’s office parking lot and he shut off the engine. When I reached for my door handle, he placed a hand on my arm to stop me. The look in his eyes nearly ripped my heart in half. Before I knew it, I was sobbing and being pulled against his chest. His hand ran through my hair.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Lil. If I’d just grown a set and admitted I felt something for you, that I wanted more, then none of this would have happened. You ran off and got hurt because I was weak. I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry.” He just kept murmuring I’m sorry over and over.
Eventually my tears subsided and I drew back enough to hold his gaze. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek. “I forgive you, as long you try to never hurt me like that again. Your rejection was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced.”
He blanched and gave a quick nod. “Promise, Lil. I’ll do better. Just give me a chance.”
“All right. Come on. Let’s go see if our baby is okay.”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead, then got out of the truck and walked around to my side. I’d opened the door, but he was there to help me down. He carried me into the clinic, his arm pinning the shirt beneath my ass cheeks so I didn’t flash anyone, and we were immediately ushered into the back. Not before I saw a few startled looks cast my way, and I realized I must look like hell. I only hoped they didn’t think Dragon was responsible.
A nurse took my vitals and asked some basic questions, then left a gown on the padded table. After she left, Dragon helped me change, and then we waited. I only wished I’d had time to take a shower. I was filthy, smelled horrible, and still had pee on me from being in the chair for so long.
Chapter Eight
Dragon
Seeing her battered wrists, the dirt smudging her skin, the slice across her breast, and the tangled state of her hair made me realize that I was damn lucky right now. Not only was she okay, but she’d not been afraid when she was taken. This time she’d fought back, and she’d escaped on her own. Twice, apparently. I was so fucking proud of her.
The doctor had tended to her wounds and bandaged them, and thankfully hadn’t said a damn word about her needing a shower. If they’d had one in this place, I’d have demanded they let her use it to clean up. I knew it bothered her. I could see it in her eyes and the way she held herself.
But right now I wasn’t looking at Lil. I was staring at a very tiny human on a computer screen. No, not just one. Two tiny humans. My Lil was having twins. I had two babies on the way. The baby currently on the screen kept moving, not letting us get too long a look before shifting again. It felt like my heart swelled as I looked at the little face, hands, and feet.
“Ah ha!” the doctor said, freezing the image on the screen and zooming in. “Congratulations, Baby A is a girl.”
A daughter? Holy shit! Forget a second crib, I needed to go buy more ammo and guns. I stared in awe at the little human on the screen. Whatever it took, I’d keep her safe. And hopefully do a better job than I’d done with Lilian.
“And Baby B,” the doctor said, pressing on Lil’s stomach to reposition the other baby, “is a boy! One of each! Aren’t the two of you lucky?”
“Yeah,” I said. “At least I’ll have some help keeping the boys away from my daughter. Just have to train her brother young.”
Lilian squeezed my hand and the doctor laughed. He wiped the goop off Lil’s stomach, then I helped her sit up.
“Everything looks good,” the doctor said. “Find an OBGYN close to your home and stick with them through this. I can make a few recommendations if you’d like, or if you already have one picked out, just make sure you schedule an appointment soon. Call my office with their information and we’ll send over a report from today’s visit.”
“Thank you, Dr. Cooper,” I said, reaching out to shake his hand.
“I would recommend that you give her a day or two of rest before you make that long drive back home. She needs to rehydrate as well, and eat a few balanced meals. After what she’s been through, it’s a miracle she didn’t lose the babies. Once you get back home, no more road trips. And by that I mean, try to keep travel to within an hour of your residence, and keep her as stress free as possible, and good luck dealing with pregnancy hormones. I have four kids and I swear my normally docile wife turned into a barracuda with each pregnancy.”
Lil glared at him and I had no doubt she was contemplating giving him a kick on his wife’s behalf, but thankfully she refrained. I helped her off th
e table, and once the doctor left, she removed the gown and put the T-shirt back on. Clenching my hands at my sides, I had to fight the urge to reach over and place my hand on her belly. Two babies. Seeing them on the screen made it all more real. I led her out to the front. The receptionist said the bill was covered, which meant I owed the Reckless Kings yet another debt, but since it was for Lilian, I’d take it.
I didn’t know where we’d stay the next day or two, but I’d figure it out back at the Reckless Kings’ compound. Beast had let Lilian stay at his house, but I wasn’t so sure he’d welcome both of us. I hoped they had some guest quarters somewhere, but if not, I’d find the most secure hotel in the area.
I handed my phone back to Lilian. “Call your dad.”
She found him in my contacts, then put the phone on speaker while it rang. When Grizzly answered, he sounded tired as hell.
“How is she?” he asked.
“I’m fine, Dad,” Lilian said. “But I hope you plan to have a big room set up at your house for your grandchildren.”
“Why is that?” he asked.
“Because there are two,” she said. “I’m having twins. A girl and a boy.”
Griz cleared his throat. “That’s amazing, Lilian. Is Dragon with you?”
“I’m right here,” I said. “The doctor said she needed to rest a day or two before we head back. She’s dehydrated and hungry as well. I’m going to see if Beast has a place we can stay. If not, I’ll find a hotel. The doc said no more road trips once we’re home.”
“Just get my girl home safe. That’s all I ask. And, Lilian?”
“Yeah, Dad?” she asked.
“If you weren’t pregnant, I’d tan your hide for running off like that. You could have died. What if someone had forced you back into the life you had before? Please don’t leave town again without an escort,” Grizzly said.
I was impressed he’d said please. I knew he wouldn’t really give her a choice. He’d have her shadowed even if she didn’t like it, but at least he made it sound like she had the option of going on her own. Hell, after this, I might not let her out of my sight for a solid week. Nothing had ever scared me as much as hearing that she was missing. It had been bad enough not knowing where she’d run off to, but she’d been safe. Supposedly.
“We’ll be home soon, Dad.”
Lilian ended the call and I inwardly winced. Griz wouldn’t be too happy about that. Then again, he doted on his girls, so if anyone could get away with hanging up on him, it would be Lilian. As we neared the gates of the Reckless Kings’ compound, a Prospect opened the gate and let us through. I stopped in front of the clubhouse, unsure where to go.
“My things are at Beast’s house,” Lilian said.
As if I needed a reminder she’d gone to him for help, instead of coming to tell me she was pregnant. Yes, I’d dug my own hole when it came to her, but it still hurt. I let her point the way to the President’s house, and I stopped in his driveway. The man must have been expecting us because he leaned against a porch post, waiting. Lilian got up and went up to him, giving him a quick hug before disappearing inside.
What the fuck? I hadn’t gotten a fucking hug until she’d fallen apart in the damn truck.
I got out slower, and stopped at the foot of the steps. “The doc said she can’t travel for a day or two.”
“She’s got a room here already.”
I shoved my hands into my pockets. “Realize that. Where am I staying?”
“Heard what you said to her. That was a fucking dick move. Then I saw the way you looked at her. She know you love her?”
Whoa. I never said a damn thing about loving her. I cared about her, didn’t want to lose her, but… Shit. I did love her. Beast just shook his head and went inside, motioning for me to follow. He led me to a small guest room, and I saw Lilian sitting on the edge of the bed.
“The two of you can stay here. But just saying, no sex in my house. If I’m not getting any, neither are you,” he said, then walked off.
Lilian’s cheeks pinked. I gave her a reassuring smile and moved farther into the room. I’d packed my shit expecting to track her down and shoot some people, among other things. Instead, I only needed my clothes. Although… I did wonder if Beast’s men had found her kidnapper and what would happen to him. As much as I wanted to tear that fucker apart, right now, Lilian needed me.
She stood and came closer, reaching up to put her hand on my cheek. “Go ask him.”
“Ask what?”
She rolled her eyes. “You know damn well what. It’s written all over your face. You want to know if they found the guy, and quite frankly, so do I. But you can skip any gory details if they’re going to hurt him. I just want to know if he’s been picked up, or I won’t feel safe. I’ll get cleaned up while you do that.”
I kissed her softly, then went in search of Beast. I found him in the kitchen, sipping a cup of what smelled like coffee.
“Did you find who did this?” I asked.
“Yep. His name is Warren Bruce. He used to be part of a rival club, until he got too crazy even for them. They kicked his ass out, stripped his colors, and apparently he’s even more batshit crazy than before.”
All right. So that gave me the who, but that wasn’t enough. I didn’t have any idea who Warren Bruce was, or why he’d chosen Lilian as his victim. I just knew I was fucking pissed about it.
“Why did he do it?” I asked.
Beast sighed. “My fault. Sort of. During a negotiation with the Pres of Bruce’s club, I caught the eye of the VP’s sister. I never encouraged her, but I guess she had it in her head that she could have me. Shot her down. Multiple times. I heard the VP finally married the bitch off to some other club as a way to cement their alliance. Only an officer would do, so she’s with their Sergeant-at-Arms.”
“And this guy blames you for… What exactly?” I asked, feeling really damn confused.
“He loved her. Honestly, the guy seems to have about six people inside his head. Possibly more. I have no idea what he was thinking, or why he blamed me. He wanted her, and when she was given to another club, he decided he wanted revenge. Who knows if she even knew this asshole’s name?”
I knew that love could make people do stupid shit, but this was taking it too far. Lilian had thought he was mentally ill, and maybe he was. Didn’t mean he had the right to go around hurting other people. He still needed to be held accountable.
“Where is he?” I asked.
“My boys were going to play with him a little, but I couldn’t do it. Charlotte never saw this side of him. There’s no way she would have let him get her pregnant, much less planned to leave the area with him, if she’d known he was this unhinged. Somehow, he managed to hide his other personalities when he was around her. She’s pregnant and doesn’t need the stress.”
“You have seen Charlotte since all this happened, right?” I asked, a weird feeling twisting my gut. If this guy was going to use Lil as bait, and thought Charlotte was useless to him, would he have kept her around? After the things he’d done to Lilian, I could only imagine what he would do to Charlotte once he determined he didn’t need her anymore.
Beast froze. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed a number. After a few moments, he ended the call and dialed again. He did that a dozen times before he started cursing. “Brick is going to fucking lose it. She’s his baby sister, which is why I never went there. Or part of the reason, anyway. If Charlotte had wanted me to fight for her, then I’d have told Brick to shut the fuck up. But she moved on easily enough.”
“I hope you find her.”
Beast charged out of the house and I heard the pipes of his bike as he took off. If they found Charlotte, I hoped she was in good health. I also worried for her baby. If it didn’t belong to Beast and it belonged to the kidnapper, would it have mental health issues at some point too? That wasn’t a road I wished any parent to travel. Or the kid.
I turned to find Lilian behind me, her face pale and her eyes filled wit
h sadness. Her hair was still wet from her shower, and I saw the section that was shorter than the rest. “She’s gone, isn’t she?”
“Don’t know that, baby. Beast is going to find her. Right now, I need you to rest. Remember what the doctor said? You need to try and remain as stress free as possible. Worrying over Charlotte is doing the opposite. Are you hungry? Thirsty?”
“Maybe a little of both.”
“I’ll get Wolf to find a place with soup and sandwiches. Sound good? If you went a few days without nourishment, I’m worried anything greasy or too rich would just come back up.” She sank onto a kitchen chair and held out her hand. I took it, kneeling next to her. “What is it, Lil?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was pregnant,” she said. “If I had, if I’d given you a chance, then maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe the Reckless Kings would have kept Charlotte safe.”
“Or they may not have known anything was wrong until it was too late.” I leaned closer and pressed my lips to hers. “Don’t blame yourself, baby. No one does. Least of all me. Am I upset you didn’t tell me? Sure. I also take responsibility for my part in all this. I pushed you away when I shouldn’t have.”
“No more secrets?” she asked.
“No more. Unless it’s club business. I’m still not telling you that no matter how much you pester me.”
Lilian leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I love you, Dane. You broke my heart that day, but I still loved you. It’s why I left. I thought if I was gone maybe my dad wouldn’t hurt you for getting me pregnant. I didn’t want anything to happen to you.”
I tightened my hold on her. I knew now that she’d loved me the day she’d given herself to me, and I’d treated her like shit. Even if I spent the rest of my life treating her like a damn queen, it wouldn’t be enough. “I love you too, Lil. So much. Why don’t I find some scissors and I can try to even out your hair?”