Our Nig

by Harriet E. Wilson

  Many of less piety would scorn to present so doleful a figure ; Mrs. B. had shaved her glossy ringlets ; and, in her coarse cloth gown and ancient bonnet, she was anything but an enticing object. But Aunt Abby looked within. She saw a soul to save, an immortality of happiness to secure.

  These evenings were eagerly anticipated by Nig ; it was such a pleasant release from labor.

  Such perfect contrast in the melody and prayers of these good people to the harsh tones which fell on her ears during the day.

  Soon she had all their sacred songs at command, and enlivened her toil by accompanying it with this melody.

  James encouraged his aunt in her efforts. He had found the Saviour, he wished to have Frado’s desolate heart gladdened, quieted, sustained, by His presence. He felt sure there were elements in her heart which, transformed and purified by the gospel, would make her worthy the esteem and friendship of the world. A kind, affectionate heart, native wit, and common sense, and the pertness she sometimes exhibited, he felt if restrained properly, might become useful in originating a self-reliance which would be of service to her in after years.

  Yet it was not possible to compass all this, while she remained where she was. He wished to be cautious about pressing too closely her claims on his mother, as it would increase the burdened one he so anxiously wished to relieve. He cheered her on with the hope of returning with his family, when he recovered sufficiently.

  Nig seemed awakened to new hopes and aspirations, and realized a longing for the future, hitherto unknown.

  To complete Nig’s enjoyment, Jack arrived unexpectedly. His greeting was as hearty to herself as to any of the family.

  “ Where are your curls, Fra ? ” asked Jack, after the usual salutation.

  “ Your mother cut them off. ”

  “ Thought you were getting handsome, did she ? Same old story, is it ; knocks and bumps ? Better times coming ; never fear, Nig. ”

  How different this appellative sounded from him ; he said it in such a tone, with such a rogueish look !

  She laughed, and replied that he had better take her West for a housekeeper.

  Jack was pleased with James’s innovations of table discipline, and would often tarry in the dining-room, to see Nig in her new place at the family table. As he was thus sitting one day, after the family had finished dinner, Frado seated herself in her mistress’ chair, and was just reaching for a clean dessert plate which was on the table, when her mistress entered.

  “ Put that plate down ; you shall not have a clean one ; eat from mine, ” continued she. Nig hesitated. To eat after James, his wife or Jack, would have been pleasant ; but to be commanded to do what was disagreeable by her mistress, because it was disagreeable, was trying. Quickly looking about, she took the plate, called Fido to wash it, which he did to the best of his ability ; then, wiping her knife and fork on the cloth, she proceeded to eat her dinner.

  Nig never looked toward her mistress during the process. She had Jack near ; she did not fear her now.

  Insulted, full of rage, Mrs. Bellmont rushed to her husband, and commanded him to notice this insult ; to whip that child ; if he would not do it, James ought.

  James came to hear the kitchen version of the affair. Jack was boiling over with laughter. He related all the circumstances to James, and pulling a bright, silver half-dollar from his pocket, he threw it at Nig, saying, “ There, take that ; ’t was worth paying for. ”

  James sought his mother ; told her he “ would not excuse or palliate Nig’s impudence ; but she should not be whipped or be punished at all. You have not treated her, mother, so as to gain her love ; she is only exhibiting your remissness in this matter. ”

  She only smothered her resentment until a convenient opportunity offered. The first time she was left alone with Nig, she gave her a thorough beating, to bring up arrearages ; and threatened, if she ever exposed her to James, she would “ cut her tongue out. ”

  James found her, upon his return, sobbing ; but fearful of revenge, she dared not answer his queries. He guessed their cause, and longed for returning health to take her under his protection.

  CHAPTER VII.

  SPIRITUAL CONDITION OF NIG.

  “ What are our joys but dreams ? and what our hopes

  But goodly shadows in the summer cloud ? ”

  H. K. W.

  JAMES did not improve as was hoped. Month after month passed away, and brought no prospect of returning health. He could not walk far from the house for want of strength ; but he loved to sit with Aunt Abby in her quiet room, talking of unseen glories, and heart-experiences, while planning for the spiritual benefit of those around them. In these confidential interviews, Frado was never omitted. They would discuss the prevalent opinion of the public, that people of color are really inferior ; incapable of cultivation and refinement. They would glance at the qualities of Nig, which promised so much if rightly directed. “ I wish you would take her, James, when you are well, home with you, ” said Aunt Abby, in one of these seasons.

  “ Just what I am longing to do, Aunt Abby. Susan is just of my mind, and we intend to take her ; I have been wishing to do so for years. ”

  “ She seems much affected by what she hears at the evening meetings, and asks me many questions on serious things ; seems to love to read the Bible ; I feel hopes of her. ”

  “ I hope she is thoughtful ; no one has a kinder heart, one capable of loving more devotedly. But to think how prejudiced the world are towards her people ; that she must be reared in such ignorance as to drown all the finer feelings. When I think of what she might be, of what she will be, I feel like grasping time till opinions change, and thousands like her rise into a noble freedom. I have seen Frado’s grief, because she is black, amount to agony. It makes me sick to recall these scenes. Mother pretends to think she don’t know enough to sorrow for anything ; but if she could see her as I have, when she supposed herself entirely alone, except her little dog Fido, lamenting her loneliness and complexion, I think, if she is not past feeling, she would retract. In the summer I was walking near the barn, and as I stood I heard sobs. ‘Oh ! oh !’ I heard, ‘why was I made ? why can ’t I die ? Oh, what have I to live for ? No one cares for me only to get my work. And I feel sick ; who cares for that ? Work as long as I can stand, and then fall down and lay there till I can get up. No mother, father, brother or sister to care for me, and then it is, You lazy nigger, lazy nigger — all because I am black ! Oh, if I could die !’

  “ I stepped into the barn, where I could see her. She was crouched down by the hay with her faithful friend Fido, and as she ceased speaking, buried her face in her hands, and cried bitterly ; then, patting Fido, she kissed him, saying, ‘You love me, Fido, don’t you ? but we must go work in the field.’ She started on her mission ; I called her to me, and told her she need not go, the hay was doing well.

  “ She has such confidence in me that she will do just as I tell her ; so we found a seat under a shady tree, and there I took the opportunity to combat the notions she seemed to entertain respecting the loneliness of her condition and want of sympathizing friends. I assured her that mother’s views were by no means general ; that in our part of the country there were thousands upon thousands who favored the elevation of her race, disapproving of oppression in all its forms ; that she was not unpitied, friendless, and utterly despised ; that she might hope for better things in the future. Having spoken these words of comfort, I rose with the resolution that if I recovered my health I would take her home with me, whether mother was willing or not. ”

  “ I do n’t know what your mother would do without her ; still, I wish she was away. ”

  Susan now came for her long absent husband, and they returned home to their room.

  The month of November was one of great anxiety on James’s account. He was rapidly wasting away.

  A celebrated physician was called, and performed a surgical operation, as a last means. Should this fail, there was no hope. Of course he was confined wholly to hi
s room, mostly to his bed. With all his bodily suffering, all his anxiety for his family, whom he might not live to protect, he did not forget Frado. He shielded her from many beatings, and every day imparted religious instructions. No one, but his wife, could move him so easily as Frado ; so that in addition to her daily toil she was often deprived of her rest at night.

  Yet she insisted on being called ; she wished to show her love for one who had been such a friend to her. Her anxiety and grief increased as the probabilities of his recovery became doubtful.

  Mrs. Bellmont found her weeping on his account, shut her up, and whipped her with the raw-hide, adding an injunction never to be seen snivelling again because she had a little work to do. She was very careful never to shed tears on his account, in her presence, afterwards.

  CHAPTER VIII.

  VISITOR AND DEPARTURE.

  — “ Other cares engross me, and my tired soul with emulative haste, Looks to its God. ”

  THE brother associated with James in business, in Baltimore, was sent for to confer with one who might never be able to see him there.

  James began to speak of life as closing ; of heaven, as of a place in immediate prospect ; of aspirations, which waited for fruition in glory. His brother, Lewis by name, was an especial favorite of sister Mary ; more like her, in disposition and preferences than James or Jack.

  He arrived as soon as possible after the request, and saw with regret the sure indications of fatality in his sick brother, and listened to his admonitions — admonitions to a Christian life — with tears, and uttered some promises of attention to the subject so dear to the heart of James.

  How gladly he would have extended healing aid. But, alas ! it was not in his power ; so, after listening to his wishes and arrangements for his family and business, he decided to return home.

  Anxious for company home, he persuaded his father and mother to permit Mary to attend him. She was not at all needed in the sick room ; she did not choose to be useful in the kitchen, and then she was fully determined to go.

  So all the trunks were assembled and crammed with the best selections from the wardrobe of herself and mother, where the last-mentioned articles could be appropriated.

  “ Nig was never so helpful before, ” Mary remarked, and wondered what had induced such a change in place of former sullenness.

  Nig was looking further than the present, and congratulating herself upon some days of peace, for Mary never lost opportunity of informing her mother of Nig’s delinquincies, were she otherwise ignorant.

  Was it strange if she were officious, with such relief in prospect ?

  The parting from the sick brother was tearful and sad. James prayed in their presence for their renewal in holiness ; and urged their immediate attention to eternal realities, and gained a promise that Susan and Charlie should share their kindest regards.

  No sooner were they on their way, than Nig slyly crept round to Aunt Abby’s room, and tiptoeing and twisting herself into all shapes, she exclaimed, —

  “ She ’s gone, Aunt Abby, she’s gone, fairly gone; ” and jumped up and down, till Aunt Abby feared she would attract the notice of her mistress by such demonstrations.

  “ Well, she ’s gone, gone, Aunt Abby. I hope she ’ll never come back again. ”

  “ No ! no ! Frado, that’s wrong ! you would be wishing her dead ; that won’t do. ”

  “ Well, I’ll bet she ’ll never come back again ; somehow, I feel as though she would n’t. ”

  “ She is James’s sister, ” remonstrated Aunt Abby.

  “ So is our cross sheep just as much, that I ducked in the river ; I’d like to try my hand at curing her too. ”

  “ But you forget what our good minister told us last week, about doing good to those that hate us. ”

  “ Did n’t I do good, Aunt Abby, when I washed and ironed and packed her old duds to get rid of her, and helped her pack her trunks, and run here and there for her ? ”

  “ Well, well, Frado ; you must go finish your work, or your mistress will be after you, and remind you severely of Miss Mary, and some others beside. ”

  Nig went as she was told, and her clear voice was heard as she went, singing in joyous notes the relief she felt at the removal of one of her tormentors.

  Day by day the quiet of the sick man’s room was increased. He was helpless and nervous ; and often wished change of position, thereby hoping to gain momentary relief. The calls upon Frado were consequently more frequent, her nights less tranquil. Her health was impaired by lifting the sick man, and by drudgery in the kitchen. Her ill health she endeavored to conceal from James, fearing he might have less repose if there should be a change of attendants ; and Mrs. Bellmont, she well knew, would have no sympathy for her. She was at last so much reduced as to be unable to stand erect for any great length of time. She would sit at the table to wash her dishes ; if she heard the well-known step of her mistress, she would rise till she returned to her room, and then sink down for further rest. Of course she was longer than usual in completing the services assigned her. This was a subject of complaint to Mrs. Bellmont ; and Frado endeavored to throw off all appearance of sickness in her presence.

  But it was increasing upon her, and she could no longer hide her indisposition. Her mistress entered one day, and finding her seated, commanded her to go to work. “ I am sick, ” replied Frado, rising and walking slowly to her unfinished task, “ and cannot stand long, I feel so bad. ”

  Angry that she should venture a reply to her command, she suddenly inflicted a blow which lay the tottering girl prostrate on the floor. Excited by so much indulgence of a dangerous passion, she seemed left to unrestrained malice ; and snatching a towel, stuffed the mouth of the sufferer, and beat her cruelly.

  Frado hoped she would end her misery by whipping her to death. She bore it with the hope of a martyr, that her misery would soon close. Though her mouth was muffled, and the sounds much stifled, there was a sensible commotion, which James’ quick ear detected.

  “ Call Frado to come here, ” he said faintly, “ I have not seen her to-day. ”

  Susan retired with the request to the kitchen, where it was evident some brutal scene had just been enacted.

  Mrs. Bellmont replied that she had “ some work to do just now ; when that was done, she might come. ”

  Susan’s appearance confirmed her husband’s fears, and he requested his father, who sat by the bedside, to go for her. This was a messenger, as James well knew, who could not be denied ; and the girl entered the room, sobbing and faint with anguish.

  James called her to him, and inquired the cause of her sorrow. She was afraid to expose the cruel author of her misery, lest she should provoke new attacks. But after much entreaty, she told him all, much which had escaped his watchful ear. Poor James shut his eyes in silence, as if pained to forgetfulness by the recital. Then turning to Susan, he asked her to take Charlie, and walk out ; “ she needed the fresh air, ” he said. “ And say to mother I wish Frado to sit by me till you return. I think you are fading, from staying so long in this sick room. ” Mr. B. also left, and Frado was thus left alone with her friend. Aunt Abby came in to make her daily visit, and seeing the sick countenance of the attendant, took her home with her to administer some cordial. She soon returned, however, and James kept her with him the rest of the day ; and a comfortable night’s repose following, she was enabled to continue, as usual, her labors. James insisted on her attending religious meetings in the vicinity with Aunt Abby.

  Frado, under the instructions of Aunt Abby and the minister, became a believer in a future existence — one of happiness or misery. Her doubt was, is there a heaven for the black ? She knew there was one for James, and Aunt Abby, and all good white people ; but was there any for blacks ? She had listened attentively to all the minister said, and all Aunt Abby had told her ; but then it was all for white people.

  As James approached that blessed world, she felt a strong desire to follow, and be with one who was such a dear, kind fri
end to her.

  While she was exercised with these desires and aspirations, she attended an evening meeting with Aunt Abby, and the good man urged all, young or old, to accept the offers of mercy, to receive a compassionate Jesus as their Saviour. “ Come to Christ, ” he urged, “ all, young or old, white or black, bond or free, come all to Christ for pardon ; repent, believe. ”

  This was the message she longed to hear ; it seemed to be spoken for her. But he had told them to repent ; “ what was that ? ” she asked. She knew she was unfit for any heaven, made for whites or blacks. She would gladly repent, or do anything which would admit her to share the abode of James.

  Her anxiety increased ; her countenance bore marks of solicitude unseen before ; and though she said nothing of her inward contest, they all observed a change.

  James and Aunt Abby hoped it was the springing of good seed sown by the Spirit of God. Her tearful attention at the last meeting encouraged his aunt to hope that her mind was awakened, her conscience aroused. Aunt Abby noticed that she was particularly engaged in reading the Bible ; and this strengthened her conviction that a heavenly Messenger was striving with her. The neighbors dropped in to inquire after the sick, and also if Frado was “ serious ? ” They noticed she seemed very thoughtful and tearful at the meetings. Mrs. Reed was very inquisitive ; but Mrs. Bellmont saw no appearance of change for the better. She did not feel responsible for her spiritual culture, and hardly believed she had a soul.

  Nig was in truth suffering much ; her feelings were very intense on any subject, when once aroused. She read her Bible carefully, and as often as an opportunity presented, which was when entirely secluded in her own apartment, or by Aunt Abby’s side, who kindly directed her to Christ, and instructed her in the way of salvation.