“Gah!” she shrieks. “I knew it. That man has rhythm, and when a man looks like that and has rhythm too? A monster in the sack.”
“And you would know this how?”
“Well, I’ve heard. And maybe read about it in my new romance novel. It’s about a rock star, by the way.”
“You never cease to amaze me, girl. Look at you, reading all the smut. But oh, God, Raina. It’s like he utterly consumes. He’s protective and bossy. I don’t think I’ve ever had that kind of experience with anyone else. Definitely not with Daniel. It’s just hard to explain the connection that’s there. I don’t do connections but the thought of not being with him? Ugh! How did I let this happen?”
“Some things are just meant to be, babe. I think I remember you telling me that once.”
I continue walking in silence, picking up the pace for just a few more minutes, and I mull that statement around in my head. I always thought Daniel and I were meant to be. When I found out I was pregnant, I took it as a sign. Thought for sure that would make our relationship permanent, even though I was only eighteen at the time. So very young.
Shattered is how I ended up when I saw Daniel with my sister, and I was even more devastated when I lost the baby. Growing up, I truly wasn’t that close to Sydnee. She was the first-born and mom always seemed to favor her, coddle her, but never in a million years did I ever think she would have done something like that to me. That’s a kind of hurt I can’t seem to get over. She wanted Daniel all along, which was why she tried to talk me out of dating him in the first place. So, what was meant to be at that time of my life was losing not only Daniel, but our baby as well.
The treadmill slows down considerably and stops. I hurry to the small locker room before I break down right here in front of Raina. She would understand this dilemma, sure, but no one else needs to know what a complete idiot I was back then. My mom and I share that secret alone. Dad was so busy with working overtime that he wasn’t around too much, and obviously my sister was spending all her time with my boyfriend to even notice there was something wrong.
“I just need to get home,” I whisper to no one as I stuff my things into my gym bag.
“What’s waiting for you at home?”
“Shit!” I squeal, spinning around to find Raina right behind me. “Why does everyone find it necessary to sneak up on me and scare me half to death? I just need to go. I’m supposed to go to Liam’s for dinner, but I’m canceling. I can’t do this. I can’t do this to him or to me.”
Here’s where I should know better than to walk out on Raina because it clearly will not end well. It never has. She does not like to be ignored and essentially, that’s exactly what I’m doing. No sooner do I turn to leave than she grabs my hand and I stop, hanging my head, not looking at her for fear the tears building up in my eyes will begin to fall.
“Look at me,” she insists. “You are not canceling anything. You are going to dinner at Liam’s. You are going to leave the shit with Daniel and Sydnee in the past where it belongs. The choice they made was theirs and theirs alone. It’s been far too long that they’ve had this hold over you and you need to stop. Like, now. It’s finished and nothing you can do will change a thing that’s happened.”
“I wouldn’t take Daniel back if he were the last man on God’s green Earth.” And I mean that with every ounce of my being. Nor will I ever talk to my sister again, but that’s another soapbox I’m not getting on today.
“Then let. It. Go. For good, Sarah. Don’t let Daniel, or your bitch of a sister, undermine your happiness and your future. Liam wants you. You want him. Just see where it goes. Don’t be afraid anymore, sweetheart. Let him in.”
The hug Raina wraps me in is so comforting. She is more of a sister than my real one will ever be. She holds me while I cry-a little for Sydnee, Daniel, and our broken relationship, but mostly for the loss of my baby. Deep down, this is what hurts the most. This is the pain that’s raw and real, that will leave scars on my heart for the rest of my life.
But without a doubt, I know I need to move on with my life. Up until this point, I never let myself hope for something more with a man. But starting today, my life will no longer be a revolving door for men just looking to have a good time for a night or two. Enough is enough. It’s time to take control of my own happiness, and maybe that starts with Liam.
Chapter Fourteen
Liam
A faint knocking sound on the door at five o’clock sharp tells me Sarah is here and she didn’t freak out and cancel. Honestly, I’m a bit surprised at that. She is one skittish chick when it comes to relationships after her dickhead of an ex and her sister screwed her over. Two pieces of shit, if you ask me.
Upon opening the door, I see bright green eyes, her gorgeous smile, and her posture is, in all honesty, more relaxed than it’s ever been around me. She’s literally bouncing on her toes, holding an apple pie, and hanging off her arm is a bag with a container of vanilla ice cream. It’s like Jekyll and Hyde here. Good Lord, she’s, like, glowing or some shit, genuinely happy to be here and doesn’t even blink an eye when I answer the door. No hesitation. No awkwardness. No nervousness. She just barges in my apartment like this is the most welcoming place she’s ever entered. Like she belongs here, and honest to God, it’s the most satisfying feeling but catches me completely off guard.
Her standoffish attitude toward relationships has had me going over conversations in my head and planning what to do to win her over. Christ, my head’s spinning like a fucking fidget spinner after seeing her, and now I have to go to Plan B, which there is no Plan B, so what the hell do I do now?
“Here’s some pie and ice cream for dessert. It’s homemade. Well, the pie is anyway,” she says, waving her hand all around. “I bought the ice cream at the grocery store on my way over here. I hope you like apple. The ice cream is vanilla. God, this pie smells so good, doesn’t it? And is that chicken too? Mmmm.”
And she fucking moans. Shit. Why do women do that? Do they not know how sexual that sounds to men?
I’m still standing, holding onto the door knob, staring at her like she’s some kind of alien creature that’s taken over Sarah’s body. It’s like the game, Never Have I Ever. Never have I ever seen Sarah this happy and relaxed with me.
I try to shake all the jumbled thoughts out of my head and play catch up.
“Okay. Good. Good. You brought pie.” I stumble over these six simple words like an idiot. You’d think, after so many years with two sisters I’d know a little something about the female mind. Women’s emotions run the gamut from Mary Poppins to Satan or some variation in the middle. One could emerge at any moment, and it’s anyone’s guess as to which it will be. Men are left to handle the fallout. But in all honesty, that’s one of the things that makes women endearing. It just is what it is.
“Do you want the pie in the fridge or what, Liam? The ice cream is gonna melt if you don’t stop standing there and get it in the freezer.” Her hand goes to her hip and her smile gets bigger.
“Um. Yeah. Let’s get it put away.” Finally, I’m returning to normal.
Sarah follows me into the small kitchen where sautéed chicken and vegetables are on the stove, with rice almost ready to serve. She starts to help with the meal and I immediately sit her on the stool near the countertop, because she’s my company tonight and that means it’s her night to be pampered. She has to go back to school tomorrow and I’m quite certain teaching twenty kids that are only seven years old is likely akin to herding squirrels. Nearly impossible.
The wine is chilling in the fridge, so I get it out and pour us two glasses. Sauvignon Blanc was the suggestion from the bartender at Sam’s when I asked what to get. I don’t mind the taste of wine at all, but knowing which wine goes with chicken or steak or any other meal is beyond my realm of knowledge. Too complicated for me. Personally, just give me a beer or a Jack and Coke, and I’m fine. I stop for a second, remember Sarah’s last rendezvous with Jack and Coke, and chuckle to myself.
“I did,” she says, twirling the stem of her wine glass in her fingers while I twirl her hair. I think that might just be my second most favorite thing to do with her. “We walked and talked. Good conversation.”
“Anything you care to share?”
“Sorted out a lot. Gave a lot of thought to what’s happening between us.”
“Anything you care to share?”
Sarah laughs as I repeat the question, but to be honest, I’d love to know exactly what she sorted. I mean, the way she bopped in here tonight, I kinda have an idea, but I’d love to hear it straight from her beautiful, pink lips.
“Well, I think I’ve been holding myself back a little from having any kind of relationship because of the past. After Daniel, I felt like relationships weren’t worth the aggravation. They had an end date. In a way, that’s like allowing someone else to be in control my happiness more than I am. Part of my issue is Daniel and Sydnee. Trusting is hard for me, as I’m sure you’ve figured out,” she says, closing her eyes and looking down, “but unless I want to live the rest of my life with no real attachments to anyone, I’m going to have to make some changes.”
“Question number one, what’s the other part of the issue? And question two, are you considering us as an ‘us’?” I say, making quotes in the air.
“Well, the other part of my issue is something I just need to get past. So, no need to worry about it. And as far as question two goes, I think you’ve told me in no uncertain terms that there is an ‘us.’” She also uses air quotes. Her eyes squint a little, but her smirk shows she’s not bothered so much by my recently emerging alpha side.
“I have. But you also need to know that if you’re not all in, I’ll back off. I don’t want to pressure you into anything. You need to be open and willing to accept what’s going on between us. Admit to yourself that there’s an attraction here and it’s more than just physical.”
“And I have. So, what I’m saying is that I’d really like to...date...exclusively. I mean, you. Date you exclusively.” And skittish Sarah is back. This time, though, I love what she’s saying.
“Thank God. There for a minute, I thought you meant date someone else.”
She laughs, and it lights up the room. What a complete surprise she has been tonight. This is exactly what I want, and I want it with her. I’m not under any illusion that everything will be smooth sailing from here on out. She’s going to have her moments, so I just need to be aware of that and be ready to reassure her who I am and who I’m not, and what I want out of this relationship.
After dinner is over, we take our wine to the sofa and I turn on the television. I’m a huge sports fan and watching it on my sixty-inch wall mount is perfect. We settle on a college basketball game and snuggle on the couch, like a real couple would do after dinner. I feel like I need to watch something manly on ESPN to get my balls back, because all this talk of relationships and feelings conjures up images of Cole telling me how pussy-whipped I am. Oddly enough, I think I’m okay with that.
Sarah’s head is leaning against my shoulder and not long after she settles in, her breathing becomes slow and even. She’s asleep. Watching her sleep seems a bit stalker-ish, but I can’t help it. Her face is relaxed and her body molds into mine as if we’re one person. My hand threads its way through her hair, twisting and twirling it, feeling the softness of it.
The buzzing of my cell phone interrupts the moment. I gently ease off the sofa and snag my phone to answer it. It’s Roman. My stomach flips, just for a moment, then I answer.
“Hey, Roman. What’s up, man?” I try not to be too loud so I don’t wake Sarah.
“Just got off the phone with my dad. He loves the videos I sent him from the bar the other night. Especially the originals. Says you’ve got a gift for lyrics and songwriting. Some of the best he’s heard.”
“Wow. I’m glad to hear that. Did he say anything else?”
“Yeah. He’s going to have his secretary give you a call. He’d like for you and Cole to make a trip to Nashville if you could. He may have someone there who may possibly be interested.”
“Shit. That was fast. When would this happen?”
“He said the woman he wants you to talk to is out of town for the next two weeks, so she could meet with you when she gets back. That sound like it’ll work for you? I know you’ve got the bar to manage as well.”
“Should be okay, man. We hired a bar manager, and we’re getting another bartender too. I’ll pass this along to Cole.”
“Sounds good. Dad’s secretary will be calling soon. Good luck with all this.”
“I appreciate it. Talk soon.”
I sit down, pulling Sarah back against me. My head rests against the back of the sofa but my mind is anything but restful. The wheels are turning and all of a sudden, I’m thinking that maybe this might be the opportunity Cole and I had been looking for, signing to a record label or getting an opportunity to do some songwriting for some of the best artists in the business. Then I think about the bar and how all that would play out. We couldn’t just leave Zane to run the whole thing. He’s got Samantha now to manage the place, but us leaving would leave him way too short-handed. Could we hire another person or two? No, that cuts into profits and the bar is Zane’s only form of income.
“Who was that?” I hear Sarah’s yawning, sleepy voice.
There’s also Sarah to consider. We’re finally getting to a point where she’s let her guard down some, so this news would not be welcomed as far as she’s concerned. But it’s only a meeting. Nothing will probably come out of it anyway. I’m sure this woman has meetings with better musicians than us.
“Just Roman. You want to stay here tonight?” Changing the subject quickly is in my best interest because I can’t have that conversation with her tonight. Not already. She’s just now beginning to open up.
“I’ve got to get up for school tomorrow. But, um...I could set the alarm on my phone, get up a little earlier, and go home to get ready.”
“Sounds like a good plan to me. You should’ve brought an overnight bag with you, with all your hair stuff and make-up and brushes and shit. All your clothes. Come to think of it, you would have needed a large suitcase.”
“Shut up!” she shrieks, slapping at my shoulder. “That would have been pretty presumptuous of me, now wouldn’t it?”
“You were a foregone conclusion, baby. I knew you’d give in to me soon enough. I mean, look at all this,” I joke, as I swipe my hand from my head down my body. I grab her around the waist and tickle, her hands flailing wildly and her feet kicking as I get up from the sofa and hoist her up over my shoulder, carrying her into my bedroom. My hand smacks her ass and she stills.
“Settle.”
She lets a small giggle out, then relaxes.
Gently, she slides down off my shoulder, rubbing her body against mine the entire way down. When her feet hit the floor, she looks up at me, both hands on my face, rubbing her thumbs along my cheek. Her touch is so gentle, so soothing.
“You want me all in, so I’m all in, Liam. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and an amazing friend the past several months. I’ve always felt something more with you, but it took me this long for my head to catch up with my heart. So, yeah, I’m all in.”
Those two words, all in, give me a sense of peace I didn’t realize I needed.
Finally, I’ve got her. She’s mine.
It doesn’t take me long to walk her backward so she’s sitting on the bed and I’m standing over her, looking down at the most beautiful girl in the world. My girl.
“Scoot back.”
She does as she’s told, and my knee eases onto the bed right between her legs. I lean over, causing her to fall back so she’s lying flat. My body covers hers as her arms wrap around me. I don’t feel her usual hesitation. I feel her resolve. I feel her
giving herself to me completely.
We lay like that, kissing, running our hands along each other’s bodies, giving in to each other, knowing where this is leading. I want her to feel my strength and understand that, without a doubt, I will take care of her, always.
Her clothes are in the way of what I want, so I make short work of removing them. She lays naked, on my bed, waiting for me.
Jesus, I could look at her like this all day long. Stunning. So sexy. Reaching behind my head, I pull my shirt off, tossing it on the floor. Her hands settle on my chest, her fingertips gently running along my abs.
“You’re so...fit. Your abs. They’re so...”
“Sexy?”
She giggles. “Yes. Yes, they are.”
“There’s more to me than just this chiseled body, sweetheart.”
“Oh, there definitely is.” Her fingertips continue touching me and I can feel the heat every time they glide across my skin. “Your body, your music, your voice. It’s like the trifecta.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “What about my mind?”
“Well, I guess that too.” She smiles lovingly at me.
I smirk at her comment then grab her hands, pinning them above her head. “Enough talking. I’m getting tired of waiting for you.”
Sarah’s mouth opens in surprise and I quickly cover it with mine, kissing her relentlessly, all the while holding her hands firm on the soft mattress.
“Hands stay there. Be still.”
“Okay,” she whispers, almost breathless, eyes wide.
My lips make their way to her neck, licking and sucking, taking my time. She lays perfectly still, breathing heavily. There was a time when I didn’t really understand how to take care of a woman physically, or even emotionally. I know better now, and as I make my way to those gorgeous tits, I keep in mind how much pleasure a woman gets just from foreplay. It isn’t a time to rush. Getting inside of her is the end goal, so there’s a sense of urgency, but I take my time, appreciating every sigh and every moan she makes along the way, because I’m the one who caused those. I’m the one who will take her there. Right now, I’m in charge of her pleasure.
Hold on to Her (Only Her Series Book 2) Page 7