by Brook Wilder
After I got the shot, I slapped on a few photo filters and just stared at the picture. Without my face in the frame, it was like I was looking at a stranger and not my own body. I felt suddenly self-conscious and I wondered if he would even like this photo. I shook my head and sent the message before I second guessed myself any further. A rush of adrenaline shot through me as I hit send, making all the hairs on my arms jump to attention. As I had told myself earlier, the actual photo didn't matter. What Garrett was really getting off on was the control and the ability to have me drop everything at a moment’s notice for him.
As soon as the text status said the photo delivered, I closed the phone and set it on the bedside table as I waited for his reply. I dove under the covers of my bed, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and debating whether or not I should put my clothes back on. I ultimately decided to stay nude until he responded, just on the off chance that he wanted another picture. Despite my current discomfort, a small part of me hoped he did. I'd actually gotten a little rush sending such a private image to Garrett. I imagined him opening the text, his eyes going wide as he examined every inch of my body. It was nothing he hadn't seen before, but the thought still gave me pleasure.
A sudden thought struck me while I glanced over at the still silent phone. I wondered how, exactly, my life had taken this turn. One day I'm just an ordinary college girl, the next I've become entangled in this strange fantasy life with an uber-rich CEO. The weirdest part of it all, though, was how much I was actually enjoying myself.
A small ding that signaled his reply pulled me out of my thoughts, and I hungrily read the text.
Good, that's all, it said.
I sighed in slight disappointment and tossed the phone onto my bed. For a split second, I considered taking another photo and sending it to him anyway. I was certain most guys would appreciate the impulses, but Garrett was an anomaly. It was entirely possible that he wouldn't appreciate me sending a photo he didn't ask for. In the end, I decided to take one more photo, but to save it for later, just in case Garrett caught me off guard again like he did this afternoon.
As I put my clothes back on, I tried to change gears and mentally prepare myself to tackle some much overdue schoolwork, but it was almost pointless. I was distracted all day with thoughts of the weekend. It would be the first time I'd get to spend an entire day with Garrett, rather than just a few hours here and there. I also wondered what we would do with all of that time. Would it just be one long scene or would we actually spend some time with each other with our clothes on?
I shook those thoughts out of my mind and refocused on the task at hand. As I slowly hammered out my coursework, I kept looking over at Garrett's phone as if I could will it to ring with my mind. It stayed silent, and I almost picked it up to text him multiple times. I resisted each time, knowing that Garrett would probably ignore me anyway. It seemed crazy, but all I wanted to do was see him again. This weekend couldn't come soon enough.
Eventually, after hours of accomplishing almost nothing, I gave up on the essay I was attempting to write, and just flopped into bed. It was only mid-afternoon, but I was still tired from staying out so late last night. I figured a small nap wouldn't hurt. As I dozed off, my mind was filled with thoughts of Garrett and those mysterious gray eyes of his.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The wind rustled my hair as I stood on the deck of Garrett's boat looking out over the calm water. It was a yacht, as he had explained at the dock, but a lot smaller than I had expected. Maybe it was just me, and Kelsey too, but I'd expected a billionaire to have a big enough yacht to host parties, but Garrett's was just the right size for a couple of people who wanted to enjoy the water. That's exactly what we did, and the day, so far, had been perfect. Despite the fact that it was almost mid-September, the summer seemed to give no sign of relenting. The sun was warm and beat down on the back of my neck, but the light breeze made the heat bearable. We had puttered around the harbor for a bit, but now we were parked in the water facing the beautiful skyline. It was a relatively calm day, which I was thankful for. I'd only gotten sea sick once after a canoe ride with my grandfather, and it wasn't something I was itching to repeat.
I was also shocked to see that Garrett was the one actually driving the boat. I'd figured he'd at least have one or two other attendants on board, but we were completely alone out here on the water, just like he'd promised when we had set the date. Once I thought about it, though, it was natural the control-loving Garrett was as self-sufficient as possible.
The further we had sailed away from the shore, the more my brain was telling me I should feel scared. I was all alone with a guy I had only just met, in a setting that I could not easily get help if he turned out to be a serial killer. I'd wracked my brain all morning, but all I had was a calm feeling radiating from my core. I couldn't deny that I felt safe with Garrett, no matter what we got up to during sex.
"Do you like being out on the water?" I asked as he walked over to me with a can of soda.
"I really don't care for it much, actually," He said, “I inherited this beast from my father after a childhood of forced boating lessons."
"Why keep it, then?" I asked.
"Might as well," he said with a shrug. "It goes with the rich kid image, and it's not something I actively hate. Impresses the ladies, too."
"Well, I am certainly impressed," I said.
He shot me a grin that made my heart melt, and I marveled at the difference between this Garrett, in his boat shoes and shorts, and the Garrett that had sat across from me at Per Se a week ago. It had only been a couple of hours or so since he'd picked me up at my apartment, but I could already see that Garrett was much more relaxed than he was the night of the auction. He was still a little standoffish and a little cold, but he wasn't ordering me around. Was it me, or was it simply the fact that there wasn't anyone else around to judge him? It was also very possible that his demeanor that night was simply part of the fantasy for him.
"I'm glad to hear that," he said.
We stood there, just staring at the water a while before I decided that my curiosity was too great.
"Garrett," I said hesitantly. "Can I ask you something? For real?"
"Sure, Laina," he said with a chuckle.
"Why are you acting so different," I said. His eyes met mine and narrowed, and I began to stammer. "I just mean, you're not bossing me around, that's all."
Garrett considered me with a stony glance that reminded me that, for all the sudden warmth, he could still turn icy in a second. I was about to apologize for my question when he started speaking.
"I've been thinking a lot since I saw you last," he said quietly. His gaze had turned back to the water, but his face was gradually softening again. "We all put on appearances. Human beings as a whole, I mean. I just play the role that society gave, and my father, me. The roles we've been playing so far are just are nothing more than parts in a play. It's something I've done with every woman I've ever dated if you can call what we do dating. What we have, though, there's something different about it. I felt it when I first saw you, and I think you did too. I can't put my finger on it, but it makes me want to try something different. I'm acting differently because I'm trying to open up to you, Laina. I don't want our relationship to just be two actors reading lines."
He fell silent, and I was at a loss for what to say next. He looked tense, though, and I felt that my question had struck a nerve with him.
"Sorry," I replied. "I didn't mean to offend you. I was just curious."
"You didn't, Laina," he said. "But you do it, too."
"What do you mean?"
"I see it in your face when you think no one is looking at you. You relax as soon as society's gaze turns away from you, but the walls snap right back up as soon as you realize you're being watched. You wear a mask just like everyone else in the world."
I opened my mouth to argue but shut it without speaking. What he said was true, I realized. Maybe my audience wasn't as large, or as crit
ical, as Garrett's but I still played my part. Hell, my conversation with Kelsey earlier this week was proof of that.
"I guess you're right," I said moodily.
"I have a proposition," Garrett said with a sudden, forced cheerfulness to his voice. "Just for today, as long as we are alone on this boat, no masks, no appearances, and no games. If we can't be genuine around each other, then I'd much rather take you back to your apartment."
"Deal," I replied after a moment's consideration. This openness was certainly something I wanted, but I was also nervous of the consequences. Did I really want Garrett to have the power of knowing my truest self? Was I ready to be that vulnerable? Was this, in the end, all just a power play?
Garrett smiled again, one that actually reached up into his eyes. My heart swelled at seeing it, but immediately fell again knowing that once we left this boat, it wouldn't be so easy to maintain our openness.
"I do have another question," I said. "Since we're being honest.
"Fire away, but know that I'm going to do the same for you," he replied as he leaned onto the railing.
"Why the hipster get up?" I asked. "If you're so into looking the part of a rich CEO, why go against the grain, fashion-wise?"
"Well, for one, I actually like the look," he replied with a chuckle. He ran a hand across his chin. "Though I have been thinking of shaving off this beard. Second, it creates contrast, sets me apart from everything else. Third…" he trailed off, gazing out onto the water. The look on his face told me he too was unsure of how open he truly wished to be.
"Third?"
"People underestimate me when I dress like that. They see a man in a sharp suit and assume he knows what he's doing. When they see a man in flannel and denim…"
"They think you're an idiot."
"Exactly," he said, "if someone doesn't think I'm capable of pulling off some tricky merger or deal, it makes it that much easier to fool them."
I wondered, vaguely, if I was underestimating him too. Up until now, I'd figured whatever we had was just a game. We were playing pretend, acting out scenes and living out fantasies. Now, though, after his confession of wanting to change, I realized that both of our lives were about to take a turn.
"It's no wonder you're successful, then," I replied.
"I owe a lot of that to my father. He not only pushed me in school but in all aspects of my life. It also helped that I was able to use his work and money as a base."
"Were you two close?"
"Not really," Garrett said distantly. He suddenly went quiet, and I got the impression I was treading on some dangerous ground.
Before I could press the issue, he asked, "What about your father?"
"We were always very close," I said with a smile, "He raised me by himself after mom died. Never remarried and never really moved on from my mom. He got sick a while back, so it's been tough to be away, but we talk on the phone all the time."
"Must be nice," Garrett replied. "Talking with your father like that, not his illness, of course."
"It is, I don't really know what I'd do without him."
The conversation died as we both turned our gazes back out onto the water. I desperately wanted to know more about Garrett's father. He seemed like this big, looming presence in his son's life despite the fact that he'd passed on last year. I had a strong feeling that if I wanted to understand Garrett, I'd need to understand that part of his past.
I heard a rustle to my right and saw that Garrett had stood and turned away from the railing.
"I'm going to take us out to another spot, one of my favorites," he said. "We'll park there, maybe swim a bit if you want, but the best part is the sunset."
"Sounds great!" I replied.
He climbed up the ladder to the bridge and started us on our course. I opted to stay down on the deck, enjoying the way the breeze whipped through my hair. The sun was warm and everything felt perfect. For what felt like the thousandth time since I met Garrett, I was struck the strangeness of the moment. What a weird twist of fate that auction had been. Here I was, enjoying an afternoon on a billionaire's yacht like it was no big deal.
After he parked the boat and dropped the anchor, Garrett came out to join me with two glasses of champagne in hand. We stood there, sipping in silence just enjoying the view for a moment before Garrett turned to me.
"Did you get the message I sent earlier this week?" he asked breezily.
"Yes," I said, my eyes darting away from him. "The money, too."
"Was it enough?" he continued. "Or is something else the matter?"
"No, it's fine. I appreciate the generosity."
"I'm not trying to be generous, Laina," he said in a serious tone. "But I do see I've made you uncomfortable. Tell me what's wrong. Remember, no masks."
"I just don't know how I feel about being paid for…" I trailed off and made a sweeping gesture, "this. I'm not going to lie, I feel a little like a hooker right now. I just can't get away from the feeling that I'm being paid for sex."
Garrett remained quiet for a moment, looking out over the water. The sun was just starting to set now and the warm light bathed his face in a golden glow.
"Tell me," he said, turning to look me dead in the eyes. "If it weren't for the money, would you still want this? To be with me and sleep with me?"
"Of course," I said quickly. That much I knew for certain.
"Then you're not a prostitute," he said calmly. "I won't lie, Laina, I've spent some time with those types of women, and what we have doesn't come close to what I've shared with a sex worker."
"But what is the money for, then?" I asked, tamping down my shock at his shameless confession.
"I realize that my desires aren't mainstream," he said. "I'll be frank with you, Laina, you're the first woman I've even considered having this type of relationship with."
"What, BDSM?" I asked.
"No, believe me," he said with a chuckle. "I've taken part in plenty of scenes with plenty of partners. I more mean an actual relationship, and bringing the control aspect out of the bedroom."
"So like the phone, and the picture request."
"Exactly," he said. "I'd been wanting to try the total control-side of the lifestyle for a long time, but I'd never quite found the right woman."
I blushed and said, "Is that why you were at the auction?"
"No," he replied, grinning as the blood crept up my face, "I regularly donate to that charity and they invited me. It was just serendipity that you happened to be there. I'm still not sure what it is about you. You just seem right, for lack of a better word."
"While it's flattering," I said coyly. "That's still not an answer to my original question."
"Relationships are about compromise," he said, "a give and take. I'd be taking a lot if I asked you to give total control of your life over to me. I would need to give something back. Affection is easy, but that certainly doesn't pay the bills. You give me your time and attention, and I make sure that your needs are taken care of. Simple as that. Does that make you feel better?"
"It does, yes," I said. "A lot better."
"Good," he said as he placed his arm around my shoulders.
I reveled in the feeling of being held so closely to him, deeply breathing in his scent. He let go of me after a few moments and we spent the rest of the afternoon splashing in the water. As I swam, I let all of my cares float away from me. The man in the water was no longer a controlling, rich CEO. Instead, he was just Garrett and that thought sent my heart fluttering.
After a couple of hours, we both climbed back onto the boat and toweled off. The sun was just starting to set as I pulled my shorts back on, and we both stopped to watch as the sun turned the water a beautiful orange. We stayed there even after the last rays of light disappeared, and I wished, badly, that Garrett would lean over and kiss me.
"Let's head back to land," Garrett said as he stepped away from the railing. "We can grab a bite to eat, then I want to take you back to my penthouse."
"What are
we going to do?" I asked.
"I have a couple of things in mind," he said with a wink, "but I want your input. I also want to talk about the finer points of our relationship, just to make sure we're both on the same page."
"Aren't we already? You just tell me what to do and I do it?"
"To put it simply, yes, but we need to discuss your boundaries."