Caelyn jumped and whirled. “Geez, make a little noise when you move, would you? You’re like Kenna with her ninja training.”
I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t because I was too focused on the dark circles rimming Caelyn’s eyes. “Something happened. Tell me.” I couldn’t help, couldn’t protect her, if she didn’t tell me what was going on. “Did you get another note?”
Caelyn shook her head. “No, nothing like that. I just—I’m ninety-seven percent sure I saw my mother yesterday.”
I stiffened. “Where?”
“Outside Second Chances. I was walking out with the girls and I saw someone rounding the corner across the street.”
“Did you call Parker?”
Caelyn leaned against the counter. “And tell him what? That I think I saw my mother, who I haven’t set eyes on in over six years? Besides, there’s nothing he can do. It’s not like we have a restraining order or anything.”
A powerlessness seemed to radiate through Caelyn’s entire body. I hated everything about the set of her frame. It was the opposite of everything that had drawn me to Caelyn from the moment I saw her in this very store. Her vitality, fire, light. All of it seemed to have seeped out of her.
I stood and rounded the counter, pulling her into my arms. I held her tight against me as if I could infuse life back into her. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
“But what if it’s not?” she mumbled into my chest. “We both know that things don’t always work out.”
My ribs constricted at her words. “But this will. I’m going to call Parker and let him know you saw her. It’s all information he should have anyway.” As much as I wanted to hold on, I forced myself to let Caelyn go. But first, I reached up and slid a hand under her hair, squeezing her neck. “You have people looking out for you.”
A flicker of light entered Caelyn’s eyes. “Do you happen to know how I suddenly have a much busier store than I used to? Mr. Walters decided to bring on another part-time employee. Crosby and Penny stop by approximately three times a day. Ford is always forgetting something that he needs to come and pick up. And don’t even get me started on how often my friends are here.”
I dropped my hold on her neck, shoving my hands into my pockets. “Would you believe that your personality is so charming that people can’t stay away?”
Caelyn snorted. “Suuuuure.”
My expression sobered. “We care about you. We just want to make sure there are plenty of people around, and that you feel safe.”
She reached out a hand, giving my arm a squeeze. “Thank you.”
Her warmth seemed to seep into me at the small contact, a heat that spread fast and fiercely. One that left me feeling cold in its absence. I wanted more, and that made me nervous as hell. “I should go.”
Caelyn’s shoulders straightened. “Of course. You’re sure you’re okay to pick up the tiny terrors again?”
That small little action put distance between us. Distance I didn’t want but that was safer for both of us. “I love having them at the house. Really.”
“I do feel better not having them walk to the store alone. Especially if my mom’s around.”
I couldn’t imagine how a run-in like that would end. Ava and Mia likely wouldn’t be able to place her, but Will would. It was much better to avoid the possibility altogether. “I think it’s smart, too.”
Caelyn nodded, rolling her lips together. “Okay. I’ll head to your place as soon as I’m off work.”
“No rush.” I truly did love having all of the O’Connor siblings at the farmhouse. For the first time in over a decade, they made me believe that I would truly bring life back to the place.
A throat cleared behind me. “Sorry to interrupt.”
Caelyn gave a small jolt. “Hey, Max. You’re not interrupting at all. What do you need?”
The man gave her a smile that was just a bit too slick for my liking. Who was I kidding? I didn’t want any guys anywhere sending hopeful smiles Caelyn’s way. Max moved in closer to her. “Just need to know if the produce should be unloaded now or later this afternoon.”
I scowled at the guy’s back. Caelyn widened her eyes at me. “See you tonight?”
Her words swallowed my scowl right up. Because they made it seem like Caelyn was mine, and a part of me, one growing by the day, wanted her to be.
I eased down onto the grass and leaned against the trunk of the tree. It had taken me a long time to settle on this spot. It was a decision I hadn’t been ready to make at sixteen. It wasn’t until I’d returned to Anchor, to the farmhouse, that I knew their final resting spot had to be here. I’d mixed ash with dirt and buried a family photo in honor of the bodies I didn’t have to put to rest, hoping that somehow my family’s souls would feed the growth around me. That they would become a part of the trees and the grass and wildflowers that grew on the outskirts of the pond. The place that had been a favorite for all of us.
As the bark of the tree bit into my back, I could almost convince myself that they were still with me. “Sorry it’s been a while.”
I plucked up a long piece of grass, making a small tear down the center. I could see my dad trying to teach Beth and me how to whistle through it. Beth had picked it up right away, but I’d struggled, sounding more like I was suffocating than whistling. When I finally got it, she had tackled me to the ground, happier for me than she’d ever been for herself for picking up the trick.
There were millions of those kinds of memories. Ones I’d buried in my mind because so many of them had been stolen and displayed for all the world to see. But things were changing. I was sharing the farmhouse with Caelyn, Will, Ava, and Mia. And I found myself wanting to show them Beth and my parents, too.
I already was, even if they didn’t know it. The magic trick my dad had taught me. My mom’s favorite bench. The pond my sister begged me to visit daily. Little by little, I was letting my family out of the tightly guarded box I kept them in. And I didn’t feel as though I’d lost them by doing it. In fact, their presence felt even stronger.
“I’ve been bringing some people around.” I twisted the blade of grass around my finger. “Mom, you would love Ava. The two of you would probably spend hours in your garden on that bench talking about your favorite books. Beth and Mia would be hell on wheels, giving us all daily heart attacks. And, Dad, Will is your kind of kid. He soaks up everything you teach him.”
My voice hitched. “There was so much you had left to teach me, and I hate that I’ve had to learn it all on my own. I’ve made so many mistakes.” Because despite the vile rumors printed about me, there were ugly truths, too. They were things the press wasn’t interested in. How I’d shut out the world around me. How I’d lost myself at the bottom of a bottle for at least a year. How I’d forgotten everything my parents had taught me. To be of service, to help those less fortunate. I’d turned everything around me off and lost myself in a pit of my own grief.
“I’m waking up.” I grinned down at the grass around my finger. “Mom always said we had to do things at our pace. But I’m sure Dad has been shaking his head, wanting me to hurry it up already.”
I released my hold on the grass and let it flutter to the ground. “Caelyn’s helping. I guess she always has. Ever since I saw her, and that smile socked me right in the gut. She has this way of changing how I see things. She always looks for the good. Even when things are really hard.”
My family would’ve loved Caelyn, her siblings, having the farmhouse be full of laughter and chaos…life. I felt the familiar anger rise, the heat that filled me when I was reminded of something they were missing. Something they should be experiencing right alongside me.
I breathed through it, letting the late spring air soothe away the burn. “I love you guys. Miss you every day.”
I pushed to my feet and headed for my truck. As I made my way to the school to pick up the kids, I realized the anger hadn’t stayed the way it normally did. I didn’t feel it eating away at my insides, infecting everything a
round me.
I pulled to the end of a long line of cars and caught sight of Mia dancing as she waited with Ava and Will. There was always music playing that only Mia could hear. And the way she didn’t seem to care if anyone was watching… God, I hoped she never lost that.
As I moved my truck forward, Mia caught sight of me and began waving wildly. Will shook his head but did it while smiling. Ava was oblivious to it all, lost in the pages of the book on her lap.
When I came to a stop in the designated pickup zone, Mia ran towards the vehicle. Will caught her by the strap of her backpack and whispered something in her ear. She scowled at him but slowed her movements, allowing Will to open the door to the cab of my truck and help her in.
“Griffin! I have something for you.”
“It’s my lucky day then.”
She scooted across the seat and started riffling through her backpack as Ava climbed in.
“Hey, Avs,” I greeted.
“Hi, Griffin.”
It wasn’t a play-by-play of her day, but it was something. Ava and I were making slow and steady progress. She no longer hid behind a sibling when I was around, she even let me help her with homework after school on occasion.
“Here!” Mia held out something in my direction as Will hopped into the front seat.
“What’s this?” I took the brightly colored item from her small fingers.
“That’s your rainbow. So you’re a part of our family, and you never have to leave.”
My gaze snapped from the bracelet to Mia to Will. He had frozen in the passenger seat. Everything was simple in Mia’s world, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t carry with her the knowledge that her parents had disappeared from her life. She might not have any memories of them, but she knew they were gone. Probably understood more than her siblings thought.
“Mi,” Will began.
“I love it,” I quickly cut in. “Can you put it on me?”
Mia beamed as a teacher scowled at us for holding up the line. I didn’t give a damn. I’d hold everyone up for hours if it meant Mia felt safe and secure. Her small fingers tied the ends into a very thorough knot. “I made it giant-sized.”
I chuckled. “Good thing.” I held up my wrist. “What do you guys think?”
It was Ava’s gaze that met mine in the rearview mirror. “It looks like you belong with us.”
Something in my chest cracked at her words, the simple sincerity of them. And for the first time in a long time, I did feel like I belonged.
23
Caelyn
I leaned back in the rocker, the curved legs making a soothing sound as I moved. I took a sip of my wine and closed my eyes for a moment. I could hear Ava and Mia in the living room bickering over who got to pick their game piece first, and the faint strains of Will’s keyboard piano as he practiced in his bedroom. Those sounds were just as soothing as the wood rungs of my chair against the porch. We were home, safe, together.
I forced my eyes back open and tapped the screen of my phone. I hit Callie’s name in my contacts and waited as the phone rang. It took a minute, and when Callie answered, she sounded out of breath. “Hey, Caelyn.”
I grinned out at the darkening sky. “Lost your phone again?”
Callie let out a huff. “It runs away from me, I swear.” I could picture her frantically patting all the papers on her desk in search of her phantom phone. Callie was a miracle worker in so many ways, but she was overworked, underpaid, and needed about four assistants. “So, what’s up?”
My smile fell away. “I need to run something by you. Or see if you can put some feelers out for me. Or maybe just get your advice—”
“Caelyn,” Callie cut me off. “Just tell me what’s going on.”
Callie’s phone might run away from her, but for me, it was my words—and always when I was flustered or anxious. I let out a long breath, trying to center myself and organize my thoughts. “I had a particularly nasty run-in with that Patti Jenkins woman I told you about.” And after I’d seen her again today, it was clear she wasn’t releasing that grudge.
“The one who’s always so judgy?”
“That’s the one. We got into it, and she threatened to call CPS. I just…I want to make sure we’re okay. I mean, they’re not going to try and take the kids because I told this woman she was an awful human, right?” As the words tumbled out of me, panic tightened my ribs, squeezing my lungs.
“Oh, sweetie. No. Take a deep breath.”
I obeyed, picturing the breathing I took my people through in my yoga classes. Tears stung the corners of my eyes. “I hate that I’m scared all the time. Just waiting for some other shoe to drop.”
“It’s hard doing this alone. And you had to fight really hard to get custody in the first place. It’s completely understandable that this horrible woman has you freaked. She hit you where you’re most vulnerable.”
I nodded as if Callie could see me. “What do I do?”
Papers shuffled in the background on Callie’s end of the line. “Nothing. I’m going to call CPS and make them aware of the situation. As sad as it is, it’s not unusual for someone to make a false report out of anger or revenge. They know how to spot those. And this Patti lady’s intentions are going to come through loud and clear.”
I twirled the wine glass between my fingers. “The sad thing is, I’m pretty sure she thinks she’s right. That I am a horrible guardian and am ruining the kids’ lives.”
“You know that’s not true, right?” Callie asked softly. I stayed silent. I knew I cared for my siblings more than anyone else ever would, but I also knew I fell short in all sorts of ways. There were so many days where I felt like I was barely holding it together. “Caelyn O’Connor, you listen to me, and you listen good. You are an amazing guardian to those kids. I wish I could clone you and give you to every child that has walked through the doors of the Alliance. Don’t let a bitter, hateful woman get in your head.”
A small laugh escaped me at the ferocity of Callie’s tone. “Thanks, Cal. You’re the best, you know that, right?”
“I am pretty damn awesome. Even if I don’t know where my phone is half the time.”
“You really are.” I paused for a moment. “You’ll let me know what CPS says?”
“Of course. I’ll call my contact first thing tomorrow morning.”
“I’m bringing you brownies,” I offered immediately. Nothing could ever be enough to repay Callie and the Alliance for everything they’d done for us, but I could keep her stocked in baked goods.
“Cream cheese frosting?” she asked hopefully.
“You know it.”
“Can’t wait. I have to go. I have another call in a few minutes. But take a deep breath and try not to worry. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“I will. I’ve got wine, a clean kitchen, and kids who aren’t currently trying to murder each other.”
Callie chuckled. “Sounds like a winning combination to me.”
It was. As Callie and I said goodbye, I stood, stretching and filling my lungs with air that held just a hint of salt. I pulled open the front door to hear Mia moan, “But I want to be the red one.”
I put on my best serious face. “Rock, paper, scissors. And if we have a sore loser, that color disappears.”
Mia’s eyes flashed with heat, but she nodded. The girls duked it out, and Ava was the winner. Mia held her tongue as Avs picked the red piece. I slid down next to Mia and gave her a squeeze, whispering in her ear, “Proud of you.”
She beamed up at me. “Proud enough for pancakes tomorrow?”
I couldn’t hold in my laugh. “You know I think you should be a lawyer one day. You’re too good at negotiations.”
Mia opened her mouth to speak but a shattering sound pierced the air. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion and yet super speed all at the same time. I turned my attention to the source of the sound but before I could recognize it, shards of glass sprayed, and something sliced across my temple.
The
force of the blow had flashes of light dotting my vision. Screams filled the air around me, but they sounded far away, as if traveling through water. Slowly, they became more pronounced as the world came back into focus.
“Get down!” I cried, covering Mia with my body and pulling Ava to my side so I could shield her, too. There was nothing but silence, and then the screech of tires. I straightened slowly.
Ava, wild-eyed and tear-filled, searched the room in a panic. “Cae Cae,” she whispered.
“It’s okay. We’re going to be okay.” Things were about as far from okay as they could get.
I carefully eased Mia up, drops of blood dripping down her face. My heart seized in my chest. But before I could get any words out, Will appeared in the hall. “What the hell?” His eyes widened as he took in the glass all around us.
The fear and anger on his face jarred me out of my panic. “Will, get Ava. Get to the girls’ bedroom.”
Will pulled Ava to her feet, wrapping an arm around her as he hurried her along. I lifted a sobbing Mia into my arms and ran towards the bedroom, but not before I caught sight of what looked like a brick on our living room floor. I forced the shudder down as I gripped Mia tighter.
As soon as we reached the bedroom, I pulled out my phone and dialed 9-1-1. The dispatcher picked up on the second ring. “Sheriff’s department. What’s your emergency?”
“This is Caelyn O’Connor. Someone just threw a brick through my front window. My little sister is injured. And I don’t know if anyone is still out there. Can you send someone?” The tremble in my voice gave away my fear.
“Are you somewhere safe now? Can you lock yourself in another room?”
“There’s no lock,” I began, but as I did so, Will slid the girls’ dresser in front of the door. “We’ve got something that will keep people out.”
“Good. Stay where you are. I have deputies on the way. Can you remain on the line?”
I sat on the bed, Mia still crying in my arms. “I’m going to give you to my brother. I need to assess my little sister’s injuries.”
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