I ignored the doubting voices and pulled open the door to the shop. Flicking the lights on, I gave our eyes a second to adjust. There were still a few odds and ends scattered around the space but it was mostly empty. Except for a tarp-covered something in the middle of the room.
I crossed to it, not letting myself pause to consider if I was about to cross some invisible line. My hand closed around the drop cloth, the fabric rough against the tips of my fingers. I pulled.
Griffin was utterly silent. After a few moments, I forced myself to look at him. Unshed tears glistened in his eyes. “Is that my dad’s desk?” His voice was hoarse as if he’d spent the afternoon chain-smoking and shooting whiskey instead of chasing kids around his backyard.
“I asked Bell if she could fix it. I told her she had to keep the carvings underneath untouched.”
Griffin moved slowly towards the piece of furniture. His long fingers brushed across the gleaming surface then dipped under the drawer to feel for the names. His gaze met mine. “How?”
“I don’t know. She’s a miracle worker. I knew that if anyone could do it, Bell was the one.” I searched his face, looking for some confirmation that I hadn’t overstepped. “I couldn’t let you just throw it away. Not if there was a chance we could bring it back to life.”
He moved so fast, I could barely blink before he pulled me into his arms. “Thank you. Those words aren’t enough. But nothing I can think of is either. You’ve given me so much, and you just keep piling it on. All this goodness and light and life.”
His breathing was ragged, his chest heaving against my cheek. I fisted my hands in his t-shirt. “You’ve given me just as much. And Will, Ava, and Mia. We adore you. And we want you to be happy.” Adore wasn’t the word I wanted to use. It wasn’t close. Love was the only thing that came close. Because I’d done the thing I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do. I’d fallen in love with the broody man and his heart of gold. But I didn’t care anymore. I was going to let myself love him. Even if he never loved me back.
Griffin pulled back slightly, his large, callused hands framing my face. He moved so slowly, his eyes searching mine as his head bent. I couldn’t breathe. The air refused to enter my lungs no matter how much my brain urged it to do so.
The kiss was so tender, a complete juxtaposition of the man who ate up the space around him. His mouth was the same, soft lips and a bite from the stubble that surrounded them. My hands gripped his shirt tighter. I needed more of everything that was this man in front of me.
Griffin’s tongue parted my lips. A teasing caress mixed with insatiable hunger. My body pressed harder against his, seeking more of the fire that flickered to life between us. In an instant, I was lifted to the desk, Griffin hovering over me. He trailed kisses down my neck and across my shoulder.
As he pulled away, a heat I’d never seen in the depths of his blue eyes before shone. His hands framed my face again. “I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I heard you laugh. The first time I came into the store.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “What?”
His stare got even more intense, evidence of a battle I’d been blind to. “I tried to stay away. I didn’t trust myself. Or anyone else. But I’ve wanted to kiss you since that day. Wondered what it would feel like to swallow that laugh.”
Tears pricked the backs of my eyes. “Why now?” It was the only thing I needed to know. Was this simply satisfying a curiosity? One kiss, and then we would go back to the way things were? The thought burned.
Griffin trailed his fingers down the side of my neck, tracing invisible patterns across my skin. “You showed me how much I was missing by locking myself away from the world. You showed me that I could trust you with anything. But you’ve been showing me that from the first day I met you. In your kindness. Your care. How damn selfless you are. Everything I see in you challenges me to do better. Be better. To not run away from life because I was hurt in the past. I want this with you. I don’t know for sure where it will lead. But I want to find out.”
He was asking. Would I go there with him? Could I take that risk? There was only one answer. “Yes.”
With that word, Griffin moved in again, but a voice cut through the night. “Caelyn? You out there?” Will called. “Mia needs you.”
“Be right there,” I called back, disappointment flaring bright and strong.
Griffin’s forehead fell to mine, and we stayed just like that for one more stolen moment. And I couldn’t help but wish that moment would last a lifetime.
34
Griffin
I groaned as I took the first pull of my coffee. If there had been a way to inject the caffeine directly into my veins, I would’ve done it. Usually, my nightmares left me blurry-eyed the next morning. But last night it had been the feel of Caelyn’s lips and the taste of her skin that had haunted me.
All I could think about was that she was only a few rooms away. How easy it would be to cross the distance and slip into her bed. Then I’d remind myself that her siblings occupied the room across the hall and next to her. Not a smart move.
I grinned down at my coffee. She’d said yes to exploring this thing between us. Mia’s nightmare had meant we hadn’t progressed much further than that. But we had all the time in the world ahead of us.
I listened carefully. I didn’t hear anything at first. And then I caught some laughter coming from the backyard. I moved towards the sound.
Opening the back door, I found the entire O’Connor clan doing some sort of yoga practice. The kids seemed to follow Caelyn as she flowed from one position to another. Even Will moved through it with ease.
I sucked in a sharp breath as Caelyn bent at the waist, her spandex-covered ass pointing directly at me. Suddenly, I didn’t need that shot of caffeine anymore. I was wide-awake.
“Hey, Griffin. You’ve got a little drool there.”
I gave a small jerk at Will’s voice, my coffee sloshing out of my mug and running down my hand. I glared in his direction, which only made Will laugh. Caelyn stood, turning to face me and suddenly seeming just a bit shy. “Morning.”
I crossed to her in a few strides, pulling her into my arms and pressing a kiss to her temple. “Morning.”
She squirmed. “Griffin, the kids.”
I chuckled. “They’re used to me holding you. And they’ll get used to me kissing you, too.” I surveyed her face. “Unless you think last night was a mistake…” Just saying the words had the little bit of coffee I’d drunk souring in my stomach.
“No.” Caelyn gripped my t-shirt and pulled me closer. “I definitely don’t think that kiss was a mistake.” She rose to her tiptoes and pressed her lips to the corner of my mouth.
I fought the urge to toss her over my shoulder and take her back to the house. Will cleared his throat. “So, you two have anything you’d like to share with the class?” He was grinning so widely, it looked like his face might crack in two.
Caelyn’s fingers twisted and untwisted the hem of my shirt. “I don’t think there’s anything the class needs to know at this juncture.” She widened her eyes and tipped her head towards Ava and Mia.
“I thought there were no secrets in this family?” Will teased.
“You know a secret?” Mia asked, lifting Luci into her arms.
Panic briefly flashed across Caelyn’s features but then she shook her head. “Will’s just giving me a hard time.” She turned her gaze to the teen. “And if he keeps it up, he’s going to be on dish duty for the rest of the week.”
“Keep it up, Will. I’m on dishes this week, and I’m happy to share,” Ava offered, her eyes twinkling.
Her smile told me she might be more aware of things between her sister and me than Caelyn thought. I took another sip of coffee. “You guys done with your yoga? Time for breakfast?” I gave Caelyn my best puppy dog eyes as I asked.
She just shook her head. “We’ve got a little more to go. Why don’t you join us?”
The sudden evil glint in Caelyn’s eyes had me
wanting to take a step back. Instead, I set my coffee down on the bottom step of the deck. “I could use a little morning snooze, sure.”
Will shot me a warning look. “Don’t come crying to me when this all goes wrong.”
“How could it go wrong? It’s basically stretching.”
“Some of the stuff is actually pretty hard,” Ava warned.
“Yeah,” Mia echoed. “Even harder than some of my gymnastics exercises.”
Caelyn gestured towards the grass. “But I’m sure with all those muscles, it shouldn’t be a problem for you.”
I grinned. “You eyeing my muscles, Caelyn?”
She rolled her eyes heavenward. “Just hurry and warm up. I’m not going to have a pulled muscle on my conscience.”
I didn’t see how the exercises I’d seen Caelyn and the kids doing could lead to injury, but I obeyed anyway. I tried to recall the different stretches my soccer coach had taken us through in high school. Moving through as many as I could remember, I kept my eyes on Caelyn as she moved into some sort of lunge.
“Why don’t you try this one?” she asked, straightening.
“It’s one of the warriors,” Mia added. “I like them ‘cause they make me feel strong.”
“You are incredibly strong, Little Bit.” I glanced at Caelyn. “Tell me what I need to do.”
Caelyn helped position my body and showed me how to stand, but the second I got my feet in the right spots, I started to stumble. “Shit.”
“Ooooooohhhh. Bad word,” Mia called.
I winced, giving Caelyn a sheepish smile. “I’ll do dishes tonight.”
“Let’s see if you can master this pose before we talk punishments.”
“I’m trying,” I groused. “I think it’s because I’m so tall. My center of gravity is different than the average person’s.”
Caelyn tried showing me the position she wanted me to emulate again. “Balance is important. Especially when you’re doing all these crazy house improvement projects. You could fall off the scaffolding.”
I grunted. “I’m pretty sure I’m not twisting into these ridiculous positions on my scaffolding.”
Caelyn kept trying to bring me through all sorts of different poses. Ava and Mia gave up on their exercises and became an audience for mine. “That’s a five-point-five,” Mia chirped.
I sank to the grass, sweat dripping down my face. “Five-point-five? That was at least an eight.” Ava covered her mouth as she giggled. I turned my focus to her. “I thought I could at least count on you to have my back.”
She shrugged. “Will did try to warn you…”
I glared at Will. “You could’ve been a little sterner in your warning.” At this rate, I was going to need a week of ice baths.
Will chuckled. “But what fun would that be?”
“All right, Mr. Grumpypants. You’re released for the day. Just a little child’s pose before you go.”
Caelyn’s hands ghosted over my hips as she guided me into the position. I let out a groan. “I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you for this.”
She bent, whispering in my ear. “Ready to admit yoga isn’t some sissy form of exercise?”
“I promise never to call it stretching again.”
Caelyn laughed and went to join her sisters on the grass. “Just hold that for at least sixty more seconds.”
“Fine—ow, shit! What the hell?” Claws dug into my back as a paw took a swipe at my ear.
“Don’t move, Griffin! It’s Luci,” Mia begged.
“Get this devil cat off me, please,” I gritted out. The beast was surely drawing blood.
“I’ve got her,” Ava said, lifting the creature off my back.
I sat up, glaring at the kitten. Mia threw her arms around my neck. “Don’t be mad. She just wanted to do yoga with you.”
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me. And as I looked over at Caelyn, who had lifted the kitten from Ava’s arms and kissed its furry head, my chest gave a painful squeeze. I hadn’t realized how empty my life had been. Not until they had filled it. Even if they did bring a devil cat with them.
35
Caelyn
I hoisted my bag out of the passenger seat and shut the door with my hip. I let out a startled yelp as I came face-to-face with my mother. “What are you doing here?”
She looked around the empty parking lot. “Has anyone been following you lately?”
“Following me?” My pulse picked up speed. “No. What are you talking about?” I took a second to survey her, checking her pupils. They seemed normal, but I wasn’t sure I even knew what they would look like if she was high.
My mom reached out and gripped my arm, her nails digging into my flesh. “Think, Caelyn. Have you felt like there have been eyes on you?”
I ripped my arm from her grasp. “No. Now you need to tell me what’s going on.”
Her gaze darted to the street as a truck drove past. “Someone broke into my trailer.”
“Mom, that trailer isn’t exactly in a stand-up neighborhood. Did you call the sheriff’s department?”
Her focus jumped back to me. “No. I don’t want them in my space.”
I studied her, trying to figure out why that might be. A healthy paranoia from being locked up for so many years? Hiding a stash of drugs? Or did she have something at her place that would lead to my father? As hard as I looked, I couldn’t see the truth. “You need to call Parker. Tell him where Dad is. Tell him what you’re worried about.”
Mom’s jaw clenched in a way that said her stubborn streak was coming out to play. “I would never do that to your father. He’s my husband.”
“We’re your children. But I guess you don’t care about that.” Just saying the words aloud stoked the anger that was always on a simmer inside me. It didn’t take much to bring it to a rolling boil. And thinking about what my parents had put my siblings through would do it every time.
My mom toyed with the keychain in her hands. “I’m sorry. I know we hurt you, but I’m better now. I know I can’t change the past, but I’m trying to make things right. To look out for you.”
“Making things right would mean making Dad pay for his crimes. Letting the courts sentence him. Looking out for us means putting us first. Above the man who got us all into this mess in the first place.”
Pain melted through her features. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I love him. And he’s better now. I swear to you. He’s not messed up with that crew anymore—”
My entire body went rigid. “Is he here? On Anchor? Or Shelter?”
My mother’s mouth snapped closed, and she didn’t say another word—her silence was answer enough.
“You always did love him more than us. This is just the first time you’ve said it out loud.” I met her gaze, staying silent for a moment, hoping she’d really hear what I said next. “Stay away from us. Until you’re willing to put your children before your loser husband, I don’t want to see you.”
Mom sucked in a sharp breath. “I understand. I’m sorry, Kitten. I really am. I love you. I do. I just…”
“You can’t give him up.” My voice broke on the sentence. It was too much. Never. Not once had I ever been someone’s top priority. Sure, I had people in my life who cared about me, who were wonderful friends. But not once had the people who were supposed to love me most come through on that promise. They let me fall time and time again.
I trembled as I sucked in a breath, tears filling my eyes. I hated that she still had this power over me after all of these years. That some part of me would never stop hoping that she would pull it together and love me. “You get to make that choice. But I get to make mine, too. And that’s walking away.”
I started towards the entrance of the store, tears falling in earnest now. Walking away was my only choice. Because if I let my mother back in, she’d take me down with her. In an endless cycle of unfulfilled promises and pretty lies. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t.
Griffin’s face filled my mind. The burn of his blue
gaze right before his lips met mine. The promise to see where things went between us. I’d been so excited to lean in to that exploration. But that’s all it was. A promise of a maybe. I wiped at my face as I unlocked the door.
“Running a little late, aren’t we?”
I turned at the sound of Patti’s voice. Seemed this day was just going to keep on giving. “We don’t open for five more minutes. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait.”
Patti opened her mouth to speak and then took in my tear-streaked face. Apparently, even the ice queen had a heart because she paused. “I can wait. Take your time.”
My shoulders slumped in relief. I didn’t have it in me to duel with Patti, too. I made quick work of opening the doors and flicking on the lights. After I had the cash register up and running, I came back to let Patti in. “We’re good now. Thank you for waiting.”
She nodded, moving around me and into the store. But after a few steps, she stopped and turned. “Was that your mother?”
I tried to steel what little emotional reserves I had left. “Yes.”
“I’d think you’d be happy to see her,” Patti huffed.
“Would you be happy to see the woman who left your siblings alone for three days while she went and got high? The woman who thinks it’s more important to hide her husband than protect her children? The woman who thought you were never good enough for her to love, no matter what you did? That woman?”
Patti’s mouth opened and closed a few times before she spoke. “I—I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
I threw up both my hands. “Of course, you didn’t. You were too busy making up stories in your head for who you think I am.”
She licked her lips. “Your father sold my husband drugs.”
“What?” The single word came out on a whisper. None of that computed with anything I knew about Patti and her family.
“He got injured on the job. Hurt his back. The recovery from the surgery was bad, and when the doctors cut him off from painkillers, he needed something else for the pain. Your father was happy to give him plenty of options.” She swallowed hard. There were no tears in her eyes, but the set of her jaw told me she was fighting them. “We almost lost everything. He’s better now. Sober. Working his program.”
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