by Jackie D
Bella continued to stare at the door, ignoring any last-minute fashion decisions Erica was verbalizing. Erica shrugged. Who am I trying to impress anyway? Lucy? Yes was the obvious answer, but not the one she wanted. She attached her gun holster, put on her watch, and put her cell phone in her pocket.
It only took three minutes to get to Diego’s house. If it were any other night she’d have walked over, but she needed to go to Junior’s after, where Frank Wilds would be working. When she slowed her car in front of his house she took a moment to look through the large window that exposed his living room to the outside world. Having Lucy back created a bit of an alternate reality. A reality in which she had never left and things seemed to be as they should be. Other times, she could feel the distance and time that had separated them like a gash, a gash that had never fully healed. Any misstep, any movement, would make it pulse with pain.
She scratched the top of Bella’s head. “You ready for this?” Bella yawned and scratched at the door, ready to get inside. “Okay, okay. Let’s go.”
Erica opened the door and Bella hopped out. She bent down to put her leash on, but Bella was already headed up the driveway and toward the front door. She was surprisingly fast for having such stumpy legs and paws the size of hockey pucks. Erica shook her head and followed behind.
By the time Erica reached the house, Bella had already been let inside and was turning circles in the living room with Holly.
“I think they like each other.” Melanie, Diego’s wife, hugged her.
“Bella isn’t a hard sell.” Erica squeezed her back, thankful that with so much uncertainty involving Lucy, Melanie and her family still remained a constant.
“Happy birthday, Chance.” Melanie kissed her cheek.
“Thank you.” She peeked inside. “It smells amazing in there.”
Melanie stepped aside for Maria and Miguel to say their hellos. They hadn’t gotten a word out when Erica felt an embrace at her knees. She leaned down and picked up the tiny human.
Sofia put her hands on either side of Erica’s face and kissed her on the mouth. “Happy birffday, Aunt Erica.”
Erica kissed her multiple times on both cheeks. “Thanks, bug.”
She greeted everyone else, thanking them all for the birthday greetings. She finally made it over to the dining room table, where twenty different snacks were on display. She grabbed several tortilla chips and scoops of Melanie’s homemade salsa. She felt Lucy come up behind her without having to look back. It was amazing that after all these years, she still knew when she was nearby. Even if she couldn’t see her, her body knew.
“I can’t believe you still have that stupid Iron Man shirt.”
Erica wiped the salsa from the corner of her mouth. “It’s not the same one. I had to replace my old one a few years back.” She was careful to not let her gaze wander over to Lucy. She wasn’t sure she could trust herself not to stare.
Lucy lifted her hand like she was going to touch the shirt but changed her mind. “And you went with the same design?”
“I like what I like. I try not to mess with that.” She hadn’t meant for there to be two meanings to her statement, but she realized there were when she saw Lucy’s eyes get a bit sad.
Grayson bit down on a chip and pointed at the shirt in question. “I love it, so retro.”
Erica laughed. “Yup, that’s me.”
Lucy put her hand on Erica’s shoulder and pulled her closer so she could whisper in her ear. “Do you remember when you first bought that shirt?”
Erica knew she didn’t mean the one she was wearing, but the original. She hadn’t thought about it when she put it on this evening, but maybe, subconsciously she had. “Yes, I remember. You let us run out of gas.”
Lucy tugged on the silver necklace that hung around her neck. It had been a sixteenth birthday present from Maria; she had loved it then, and it appeared, loved it still. “Is that the only thing you remember about that day?”
“No, it’s not.”
Lucy was close enough for Erica to see through the cotton weave of her red V-neck shirt. Red was Lucy’s favorite color and it looked great on her. It always had. The color of love, fire, and passion. She quickly reminded herself it was also the color of stop, of warning.
Lucy grinned mischievously. “It didn’t turn out so bad.”
They’d run out of gas two miles outside of town. At the time, cell phones weren’t commonplace, and they had to walk to the nearest gas station. They had only been about a mile into their walk when the skies opened up, and rain started coming down in droves. By the time they had gotten to the station, they were soaking wet and laughing.
Erica had taken the gas can and jogged back to the car to spare Lucy from having to go the two miles in the rain. By the time Erica picked her up, Lucy had purchased new shirts from the treasure trove of random clothing the gas station also had available. Lucy had already changed into a dry shirt, handing Erica an Iron Man shirt, a lucky find for a gas station hunt.
Erica hopped in the backseat as Lucy drove. She peeled off her pants to put on a pair of jeans she happened to have in her soccer bag from practice the day before. As she put the new shirt on, she could feel Lucy’s eyes on her. The way she tracked her movements was exciting and a bit erotic. A few moments later, she pulled the car over and climbed into the backseat, removing the new shirt from her body…
Erica pulled herself away from the memory before it went any further and looked at Lucy. “It was a wonderful day. I think about it every time I smell rain.”
She hadn’t meant to say that last part and was embarrassed she had. She needed to step away from this conversation before she revealed anything else, not to Lucy, but to herself. “I’m going to see if your mom needs any help.”
* * *
Erica walked away, and there was a blankness where moments before, Lucy had felt nothing but heat. She moved over to the couch and took a seat. She wasn’t positive they had been sharing the same memory, but she hoped. Now she needed a bit of grounding and some time to observe everything she had been missing.
Lucy knew her family was close to Erica. It had been one of the reasons she stayed away, but she hadn’t been prepared for the reality of it. Erica wasn’t just close to her blood relatives, she was one of them, maybe even more so than her. They shared a plethora of inside jokes, glances, friendship, and love. Things Lucy had missed out on by following her career.
Her niece sat on Erica’s lap in the kitchen, showing her several drawings she had made in kindergarten that week. Her parents spoke of her accomplishments as if she was their daughter, and Melanie handed her a cup of coffee without asking how she wanted it. Jealousy bubbled up inside her belly and worked its way through her body. But she couldn’t decide if she was jealous of Erica, or of her family. The gravity of everything she had given up in both instances started to weigh on her, pushing on her shoulders, making it difficult to breathe.
Grayson took a seat next to her. “You okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“Which part are you upset about?”
She motioned to her family sitting only a few feet away. “I don’t know what hurts more, that I could’ve been a part of this, or that they don’t seem to miss that I’m not.”
He rubbed her leg. “That’s ridiculous. If you want to be a part of it, they’ll welcome you back with open arms. They love you.”
Her thoughts were interrupted by the front door hitting the wall behind it with a loud bang as it was flung open. Her brother MJ immediately followed the loud noise. The noise matched his personality. He hadn’t aged a day, despite the year he had in age over Lucy. He was still as muscular as he had been when they were in their mid-twenties. His hair didn’t have a single strand of gray, which Lucy figured was probably because of a coloring agent. His eyes were bright, his smile was wide, and as usual, his presence filled the whole room.
Grayson grabbed her arm, harder than what was necessary, and squeezed. “Who is that?”
>
“That,” she sighed, “is MJ, my other brother.”
“Oh my.”
“Yeah, he gets that a lot.”
Her mother practically fell over herself to get to him. She squeezed his cheeks and lavished them with kisses. “Oh my goodness, all my children together in one house again. What a wonderful day.”
MJ picked her up and twirled her around in a large circle. He made his way through the rest of the family, giving hearty hugs and joyful pats on the back. He finally landed on Erica, and she stood to get his embrace.
“Chance! Man, you look great! I still can’t believe my little sister ever gave you up.”
Erica rubbed her hands down her pants, looking awkwardly toward Lucy on the couch. Lucy gave a halfhearted wave and MJ hurried over. He leaned over and swooped her up in his arms as if she weighed nothing at all.
“Lucy! Oh man, I didn’t think you’d actually be here.”
“I live to surprise you,” she said flatly.
He put her down and put his hand out to Grayson. “Hi, I’m MJ.”
Grayson smiled, extending his hand. “Grayson.”
They locked eyes for what Lucy thought was a bit too long. Then he turned back around to his adoring fans. “Where is my newest niece? I came all the way from New York just for her.”
Lucy sat back down on the couch, feeling dismissed.
“This is Gabriella, and she has been dying to meet you.” Melanie walked over and handed him the squirming bundle in her arms.
“And here I thought Diego got all the looks in your family,” Grayson said, fanning himself.
She patted his leg. “Sorry, buddy, you’re not his type.”
He raised a single eyebrow at her. “I’m everyone’s type.”
“Dinner!” Melanie called from the other room.
The amount of food displayed throughout the kitchen was mind-boggling. There were enchiladas, homemade tortillas, salsa, and taco fixings, even a few tamales. Grayson filled his plate and took a seat next to her again. “Do you think your family will adopt me?”
It was a rhetorical question, but it made her smile all the same. She was enjoying the togetherness, the laughter, and the simple happiness that was only accessible when she was with her family. However, it was short-lived.
“How’s the local paper working out for you?” MJ asked between bites of food.
“Good.”
“I still can’t believe you turned down that job in DC.”
MJ had been the only one she had told about the job offer. He worked for the same news station in DC, and she had sought out his advice before making her decision. She had finally opted against it because she wanted a slower pace after what had happened in the Middle East. She had also asked him to keep it between them, a tidbit he had either forgotten or was intentionally ignoring at this moment. She winced, not wanting to have this conversation with her family.
“What job?” her father asked.
“MJ, I thought you were bringing your girlfriend.” She smiled at him incredulously.
“Change of plans.”
“What’s wrong with this one?” Her brother had a reputation of being a player, a very active player, for that matter.
He stared at her for a moment, his eyes pleading with her to be quiet. “It just didn’t work out.”
“Oh, I really liked Krissy.” Her mom tried to throw an upbeat vibe to the jousting match.
“Her name was Kathy, and we just weren’t right for each other.”
Lucy laughed and shook her head.
“You’re one to talk, Lucky.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She sat up straight, ready to play defense.
“The last time I saw you in DC you spent half the time crying into your wine about Erica.” He pointed his fork at the object of her musing.
Lucy put her fork down and crossed her arms. “You’re a special kind of dick, huh?”
Erica stood up, picking up her plate. “Melanie, dinner, as always, was amazing. Do you mind if I pack this up? Lucy and I have to be somewhere, for work.”
“But you haven’t had your cupcakes,” her mom added.
“I know, and thank you. But we do have a missing woman and I really need to get back to work.”
Lucy’s mom looked disappointed but understood. Melanie stood up also and began to put items in a container. They both started saying their good-byes, and her parents assured Erica they would keep Bella for the night. Lucy said bye to everyone except MJ, and she made sure he realized it. The final look she shot him before walking out the door said it all.
Their competitive natures had always been part of their relationship. They goaded each other on, took shots at one another, but there were lines. Bringing up Erica, in front of Erica, was a clear and obvious line. She was embarrassed, not only by what he said, but that he had said it in front of everyone. MJ always told it to her straight, it was one of the reasons she went to him for advice, but that wasn’t like him and she wondered what had gotten into him. She couldn’t worry about that now though. The best course of action to try to regain any semblance of ease with Erica would be to do their jobs.
Chapter Twenty
They pulled up outside the bar and Erica put the car in park. She had been nervous about this stakeout since its inception, but now there were different feelings whirling around inside her. Had Lucy really been thinking about her all these years, or was it just an alcohol-induced moment of weakness, brought about by a visit from a family member who knew them both? She was trying to think of what to say when Lucy saved her the trouble.
“What exactly are we waiting for?”
“I’m going to write down every license plate here tonight. We need to see who comes and goes, employees, customers, everyone. See if anything is out of place, or anyone acts strangely toward any women who are alone. Then, I want to follow Frank Wilds after his shift. I don’t know how likely it is, but there’s a possibility he may be in contact with Lance. I can’t shake the feeling that he knows something.” She busied herself by starting to jot down every license plate in the parking lot.
“I’m sorry for ruining your birthday party.”
Erica continued to write, not bothering to look up. “You didn’t ruin anything. It’s no secret that you and MJ have always been crazy competitive.”
“He just thinks he’s better than everyone else. It’s super annoying.”
Erica laughed and shook her head. “Have you ever thought that he has his own stuff to deal with? You aren’t the only one who struggles.”
“What could he possibly be struggling with? His life is perfect.” Lucy rested her arm next to the window, looking out.
“No one’s life is perfect,” she said without trying to give too much away. MJ had confided in her, and it wasn’t her story to tell.
“Is he okay?” Her voice was filled with worry and sincerity. That was Lucy and MJ, they were each other’s greatest competition, but as soon as there was a hint of trouble for either one, they would drop everything.
“Yeah, he’s just dealing with some stuff.”
“Stuff you can’t tell me?”
If it had been twelve years ago, Erica would’ve told her what she knew. But it wasn’t twelve years ago. It was now. It didn’t matter how much she pretended or how long her stay was, as soon as this assignment was over, Lucy would be headed back to San Diego and she’d be left here. “It’s not my stuff to tell.”
Erica had expected an argument, a ploy to divulge what she knew, but it didn’t come. Dark hair framed Lucy’s face, the soft light from the parking lot falling across her lap. “Yeah, I get that.” The look of understanding that traced over her features made her all the more beautiful.
“I wrote you a letter when I heard about what happened in the Middle East.” Erica said it without thinking and wished she hadn’t.
“I never got it.”
“That’s because I never sent it.”
Lucy continued looking out the window. �
��I wanted to fly straight back here and see you after all that.”
Erica was surprised by the sentiment. Lucy hadn’t made a single attempt to talk to her in their years apart. She knew she had come home to visit a handful of times, but they had successfully avoided each other. “Why didn’t you?”
Her answer came without hesitation. “You weren’t mine to run home to anymore.”
“I would’ve listened,” she said sincerely.
Lucy looked contemplative. “I know, but that wouldn’t have been fair to you.”
There it was, the pang of reality. Lucy never wanted her back. She just wanted a familiar shoulder to cry on. “I understand.”
“You know, when I got back, everyone kept telling me how brave I had been. Like it was some great act of heroism to keep the recorder on while we were under fire, while people died. That’s not what it was at all.” She took a deep breath, and there was a hitch in her voice as she fought back tears. “I kept recording, kept writing notes to use later, because I was too scared to do anything else. Everything was so out of control, I had to do something I knew how to do. That’s all it was.”
Erica remembered when the piece had come out. Ultimately, it had earned Lucy a Pulitzer Prize, but at the time, Erica could feel her fear with each written word. Her heart had hurt then for the best friend she had known, the girl she had once loved, and the woman a million miles away. But it had also been impactful, giving the people back home in the States a real picture of the terror the troops were dealing with. She had known it would have a lasting impact on Lucy. In fact, she worried often about which parts of her experience would change, harden, or altogether destroy the person she had known.
“Do you want to talk about it now?”
“It’s a long story.”
Erica chuckled. “We actually have a great deal of time on our hands.”
Lucy chewed on her thumb. It was a nervous habit she’d had since she was a kid, apparently, one she had never managed to break. “I had been assigned to Operation Iraqi Freedom and had been over there as soon as I graduated college and got a job with the San Diego Tribune. I was mostly assisting the other reporters, trying to earn my stripes. I did a lot of legwork, research, and set up interviews, stuff like that. I was getting more bylines by the time Operation New Dawn went into effect in the late summer of 2010. We were covering the troop withdrawal from the area. We were on the move from Iraq to Kuwait, and it should’ve just been a normal day. We were doing feel-good stories, how the troops were feeling as they got closer to going home, what they missed, who they wanted to see, stuff like that. We had hopped out of the transport because we had a flat tire, no big deal. We were with the CNN team, who were taking B roll of the area. I was standing with the camera guy while he did his pan over the desert terrain. We saw it first. There was a man about a hundred yards away with a rocket launcher. I wanted to say something, I think I did say something, actually, but it was too late. He fired and it blew up one of the Humvees. We ran to take cover, and we managed to make it into one of the buildings, or something that used to be a building, there wasn’t much left of it. But the shots kept coming, the loud bangs, the ground shook, and the wall we were hiding behind crumbled. It fell down on top of my friend, the camera guy from CNN. His camera was still working, so I set it up to record everything going on around us. I’d never been in front of the camera and I wasn’t going to start then. I just wanted it documented so I could write about it later. People think I did it for a story, but I didn’t. At the time, I did it because I wasn’t sure what else to do, and also because I wanted some type of proof that we were there, that we were alive, that we weren’t just dust.”