by Lexi Reign
"Lo, I'm sorry, man. It just happened. I can't control who I love, but like I told her, I don't want to ruin what y'all got. I love you, dawg, and I will rather get the fuck away than hurt you again. I'm the problem, not her. Don't shoot her" CJ said as he slowly got in front of me. Lorenzo chuckled.
"I love you, bruh," CJ said.
"You a snake. You don't love me and this bitch don't either" Lorenzo spat.
"Man, she ain't no bitch," CJ said to Lorenzo.
"Oh, so you all about her now, huh. I'll let you have her cause I don't want her" Lorenzo said as he pointed the gun at himself.
"Man, Lo don't do that shit. Chill. Give me the gun" CJ said to him.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired. I don't have peace. I can't even sleep at night without falling. I fell all night in my dream, but I never hit the ground. It's time I do" he said.
"Lorenzo, please. Listen to me. We have a child together. She needs you. If you don't want to live for me, live for her. Please, Lorenzo" I cried.
"I'm sorry," he said as he stared through my eyes. I felt my heart break in pieces.
"Man, Lo, give me the fucking gun," CJ said as he tried to fight Lorenzo.
Lorenzo punched him and hit him with the butt of the gun as Lorenzo pointed it at me. CJ knocked me out of the way and we hit the ground hard as Lo pointed the gun at his own head.
"I love y'all," Lorenzo said as CJ got off of me and I got up.
"LO" I yelled, crying as he pulled the trigger. I saw his blood splatter all over his car and his lifeless body hit the ground. I screamed and yelled as CJ stayed still in shock. I ran towards Lorenzo, but CJ blocked me.
"MOVE, CJ" I cried yelling as I hit him.
"LORENZO, WHY" I yelled as I hit CJ again.
"MOVE, CALVIN" I cried.
"NO, GO IN THE HOUSE. YOU ALREADY HAVE SEEN TOO MUCH" CJ yelled as he grabbed me by my shoulders.
"MAN, VEDO, GET HER" CJ yelled as Vedo grabbed me from behind. I tried to get out of his grip, but he pulled me into the house.
"FUCK" CJ yelled as he threw his hat and phone on the ground.
CJ's POV
Tears ran down my face as I stared at Lo. I can't believe he just did this shit. I walked towards him and squatted down to sit next to him.
"Man, I'm sorry" I cried.
"This is all my fault. I'm sorry, man" I cried as I held him.
"Man, I love you. I always will. I'm sorry, Lo" I cried as I heard an ambulance and police siren.
I can't believe he just shot himself. I saw it in his eyes the moment he got released from the hospital. It was like a piece of him was missing.
The ambulance swerved in the driveway and two paramedics hopped out of the ambulance. One of them pulled out the stretcher.
"You have to back up, sir," the other paramedic said.
"What happened," he asked me as they both picked up Lo's body.
"He shot himself," I said as they tried to check his pulse. I turned my head because I can't look at him like that anymore.
"I'm sorry, but he's dead. Time of death 12:22 pm" the paramedic said as they put him on the stretcher.
"We need a coroner on 1145 Westend St," the paramedic said on the walkie talkie.
Tears rolled down my face as they zipped up Lo's body in a body bag. I heard yelling and Nia came running out of the house with Lori.
"Nia, come on. It's nothing we can do, baby girl" I said to Nia as she cried hitting me. I grabbed Lori out of her arm.
"CJ, it hurts" she cried harder. Looking at her in pain really broke my heart.
"I know," I said to her as she cried in my chest. I rubbed her back.
"I got you," I said to her. The neighbors all started to come out of their houses as the coroner pulled up. I squinted my eyes and realized that it was Steven. Steven was a friend of my moms and grandma. I remember him from when I was younger.
"How are you doing, Calvin," he asked me as he shook my hand.
"Not good, Pastor," I said to him.
"I know it. I'm sorry about your loss. I would've never thought this would've happened" he said to me as he looked at Nia.
"I'm the coroner at Williams Funeral Home. My name is Steven Williams. I'll be taking care of him and preparing him for his home-going service" he said to Nia. She shook his hand and I handed her Lori, and she slowly walked off.
"Let me talk to you for a second," he said to me as his workers put Lo's body in the hearse.
I walked with him and we sat on the porch as Nia went into the house.
"You've dealt with a lot of death in your life and I know you and Lorenzo were like brothers" he started to say as I nodded. Tears ran down my face.
"I want you to know that it isn't your fault. I feel that you are blaming yourself for his actions. I don't know what happened between y'all, but it isn't your fault he did what he did" he said to me as I nodded and wiped my eyes.
"How do you feel, Calvin," he asked. I chuckled.
"I'm good," I said to him.
"I see behind all the jokes and laughs, Calvin," he said. I sighed.
"Everybody I get closed to, always ends up dying because of me," I said to him.
"That was my brother. I grew up with him. He was all I had and I fucked that up" I said wiping my eyes and I stood up.
"Calm down, son. It's ok. I don't care what you did to him or what problem y'all had, you didn't pull that trigger, he did" he said to me.
"It feels like I did, though," I said.
"It's going to be alright, Calvin, your grandmother wouldn't want you blaming yourself," he said to me as my mind went back.
I try my hardest not to think about my mama or my grandma. My mama was raped to death when she had me and my grandma died in a house fire. So, shit all I ever knew was Lo and his family.
"I don't think I'll ever get over this," I said.
"I want you and that pretty little lady to come to my church this Sunday. I've always seen more in you than you did yourself" he said.
"Man, God doesn't want to see me," I said to him.
"Don't ever say that. God is waiting on you with open arms. He's the only thing that'll get you through this" he said. I nodded.
"I hear you," I said to him as he extended his hand.
"Can I pray over you, son?" he asked. I nodded.
"Heavenly Father, I come to you as humbly as I know how. I ask you to please come into Calvin's mind and heart. I ask that you remove this grief and give him peace. I ask that you let him know that this tragedy isn't his fault. I ask that you heal him from the pain of his grandmother and mother. Let him know that he is worthy of love and that it's ok for him to open up. Lord, I ask that you bless him and open up his heart for you to come in. I pray that you be with The Woods Family and give them peace in this time of grief. I pray that you lead Calvin to happiness and help him to not look back. In Jesus' name, Amen" he said as he shook me.
"I will be calling you about the arrangements. I also have to get in contact with Jacqueline" he said as I nodded. I watched him pull off as I sat on the porch. Nothing but old memories started to fill my mind.
"You know I don't give a fuck. At the end of the day, she's mine. She's mine when she doesn't even know it. I guarantee you she leaves him and be with me tonight" Lo said all cockily. I chuckled.
"Then what? You must be going to do right by her" I asked him. I already know he ain't going to do right by Nia. He raised his eyebrow at me.
"What? You mad?" he asked. Hell yeah, I'm mad. I'm mad because I know he only wants her because she allows him to do wrong.
"It's just she a good girl, Lo. You can't keep fucking up and fucking around with these hoes" I said to him.
"And I know that. I would've not fucked around with her if she wasn't. But I'm done with Tia, and I'm already handling Morgan" he said. I could see it all in his face that he's lying, but it ain't my business. Nia can do better.
"Just cause you with my sister doesn't mean you have to turn into a bitch," he said to me
as I slapped him against my neck.
"Man, fuck you," I said as Lo slapped me back.
"Oh, you have done it now," I said as I jumped on his back and started choking him. I bit his ear.
"AHHH SHIT, CJ" he yelled as he threw me off of him.
"What the hell y'all doing out here," Nia asked as Lauryn came out with her.
"H-He.. c-called.. me a bitch," I said breathlessly.
"H-He.. bit.. my ear," Lo said to her. Lauryn and Nia laughed as I started to laugh, too.
"I think it's bleeding," Lo said as he touched it. I chuckled. Nia and Lauryn continued to laugh like it was so funny.
"Fuck y'all. Nia, let's go" Lo said to Nia as he headed towards his car.
"Finish up, Lauryn," Nia said as she got in the car.
"I love you, bruh" I yelled.
"Yeah, yeah. Fuck you" he yelled to me as I watched him crank his car and sped off down the highway.
Damn, I miss my dawg already. I wiped my tears and sighed. I hope he knows I loved him. I loved him like he was my brother. He always had my back and I always had his. I sat back on the swing and just enjoyed the breeze. Damn, Lo. I don't know what the future is going to hold for us now.
Chapter 43: Fresh Start
CJ's POV
September 18th
10:00 am
||| 1 Year Later |||
I'm laying in the bed as I watched Nia lose her damn mind looking for her bobby-pins.
"CJ, don't just watch me. Help me. I need my bobby-pins" she whined. I laughed as Lori bounced on my chest. She stomped across the room.
"Tell mommy, she's crazy cause daddy just found them for her," I said as I went into her nightstand and threw them at her. I looked closer and saw Nia had about 4 toys in there. I laughed and quickly closed it back.
"Da-Da," Lori said as she grabbed my facial hair. I smiled at her and kissed her cheek as she laughed.
"CJ, I just really want to look good. How do I look" she asked as she pulled her dress down. I licked my lips.
"What do you think I'm going to say? You look good" I said to her as I got up. I sat Lori on the bed and put pillows around her.
"I don't know why you put those pillows there. She knows how to jump down" Nia said.
Around October of last year, Nia decided to move with me to Virginia. Lo's family blamed me and Nia for Lorenzo's death. They all switched up. They claimed we pushed him to it, so we haven't spoken to any of them in a year. I really don't care either because I was hurting just like they were, and so was Nia. Jackie even tried to fight for custody of Lori, of course, she lost. And I'll never have anything to say to her ass again. She put my life and Nia's life on blast, she even lied about shit to make us look like we were unfit.
So, we're here in Virginia now. Vedo decided to enroll in school, so he's at Virginia State. I couldn't be more proud of him. He stopped fucking around with Naomi's crazy ass and so did Nia. We haven't spoken to her in a year, either.
I got Nia and I a 4 bedroom home and she fell in love with it. I had to do some last-minute changes, though, before we came because she wanted a nice kitchen. I wanted her to be happy and comfortable, and I'm glad I can be the one to put a smile on her face.
We really ain't crossed the line yet. I don't want to push it. I do love her, no cap, but I just want to take things slow. We go out and just have fun like we always have done. We might kiss a little bit, but it's nothing too serious. She even sleeps with me. She's just my best friend, man. We could've not made it through all these months without each other nor without Lori.
That's another thing. Lori has gotten so used to me. She even calls me "da-da". Nia doesn't have a problem with it and neither do I. As she gets older, I will tell her about Lo. That's one thing I'm going to teach her. She will know of him. Every day I do miss him. I miss calling him up and shit, but life happens.
"You look really good," I said.
"Thank you," she said smiling.
"You always have me late. Get dressed, CJ" she said. I rolled my eyes.
"And you always complain. All I have to do is throw a shirt on" I said as I walked to my closet.
Right now, she and I are going to church. She found her a church home when we moved and her ass has really turned holy. She never misses a service and she is just different. I love it, though. I love to see her happy and glowing.
"You put Lori's shoes on. I put them in her room" I said to her as she walked down the hallway. I heard Lori giggling and I turned around and she was sliding out of the bed head first.
"Girl, sit yo ass down before you hurt yourself," I said rushing quickly to the bed.
"Just go," I said to her as I stood her up on the floor. She took off running down the hallway laughing. I laughed at her,
"I GOT YOU" I heard Nia say to her. She walked in kissing Lori's cheek. I watched her as she put on Lori's shoes.
"CJ, quit staring at me," she said.
"What," she asked. I laughed.
"I'm proud of you. You've come a long way" I said to her. She smiled and walked towards me.
"Thank you," she said smiling as I lifted her chin. I kissed her lips as she slowly kissed me back. She pulled away.
"Get dressed," she said as I smacked her ass. She laughed as she picked up Lori and went downstairs.
I put on my button-down light blue shirt and slid on my red shorts. I slid on my loafers and brushed my waves. I finally shaved my hair down. I wanted waves, so waves it is. I put in my diamond earrings and grabbed my wallet. I sprayed cologne on and walked downstairs.
"You ready," I asked Nia. She nodded as Lori ran to me. I picked her up and we walked out of the house. I locked the door and I strapped Lori down in her car seat in my Denali Truck. I hopped in and I sped off down the highway.
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CJ's POV
1:30 pm
"Did you enjoy the service?" Nia asked as she stuffed her mouth with Doritos.
"Yea, fat ass," I said to her. She mushed my head.
"I am not fat. I'm big-boned" she said.
"Ok, big-boned," I said laughing. She hit me again.
"You make me sick 99.9% of the time," she said.
"Well, at least you love me that .01% of the time," I said as I sped down the highway. She smirked.
"You want to get some to eat or eat at home," she asked. I shrugged.
"It's up to you unless you just want to cook," I said.
"Yeah, cause I want some greens," she said.
"And I want some fried chicken, yams, and macaroni," I said.
"I got you," she said as I turned off in our neighborhood.
I looked in the rearview mirror and Lori was knocked out.
"How long do you think she's going to be asleep," Nia asked me.
"Shit, 5 minutes if we are lucky," I said as she laughed.
I pulled into our driveway and we hopped out. I grabbed Lori and we walked into the house. Nia walked into the kitchen and started to turn the food on.
I walked upstairs to Lori's room and laid her down in her bed. I shut the door and walked into Nia and I's room. She was trying her best to unzip her dress. I walked towards the Bluetooth speaker and turned it on.
I cannot shake it, I cannot shake it
(Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh) Look
A heart ain't meant for breakin', ain't meant for breakin'
(Let's go)
I just can't trust these hoes, I'm just sayin'
(Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
She said, "You can have my heart," but you keep playin'
(What'd you tell her? Woo)
But she don't know that I need that
Baby, give me some feedback
You're on your shit and I see that
It's so hard to receive that (Why?)
'Cause I'm scared to love, scared to love (Ooh)
I blasted K CAMP - Scared To Love as I walked towards Nia. She smiled.
"I got it," I said as I got behind her.
&nbs
p; She picked up her hair and I unzipped her dress as it fell off her. I stared at her and she was beautiful as hell. I kissed her neck as she turned around. She stared up at me.
I truly do love her. We both deserve love and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I've never met a female like her. I've never had a bond with any female as I do with her. She's special and I want her to know it.