by Robin Hobb
“She has an ample share of what Chivalry had. The instinct for seizing the moment and turning it to advantage. She took an unavoidable, unmentionable situation and made high tragedy of what might have been simple slaughter in lesser hands. Boy, we have a Queen, a Queen again at Buckkeep!”
I felt slightly repulsed by his joy. And, for an instant, cheated. Hesitantly, I asked, “Do you think, really, that the Queen did as she did for show? That it was all a calculated political move?”
He halted in his tracks, considered briefly. “No. No, FitzChivalry, I believe she acted from her heart. But that does not make it any less tactically brilliant. Ah, you think me heartless. Or callous in my ignorance. The truth is, I know only too well. Know far better than you what today meant to us. I know men died today. I even know that six of our own force took injuries, mostly minor, in today’s action. I can tell you how many Forged ones fell, and within a day or so, I expect to know most of their names. Names already listed by me, included in the tallies of all the Red-Ships have done to us. It will be I, boy, who sees that the purses of blood gold are paid to surviving kin. Those families will be told the King regards their fallen as the equals of any of his soldiers who fall in battle with the Red-Ships. And entreats their aid in taking vengeance for them. They will not be pleasant letters to pen, Fitz. But pen them I shall, in Verity’s own hand, for Shrewd’s signature. Or did you think I did naught but kill for my king?”
“I beg pardon. It was just that you seemed so merry when first I entered—” I began.
“And merry I am! As you should be. We have been rudderless and drifted, pounded by the waves and pushed by every wind. And now, comes a woman, to take the tiller and cry the course. I find it a course full to my liking! As shall everyone in the kingdom who has sickened these past years from being always on our knees. We rise, boy, we rise to fight!”
I saw then how his ebullience was borne on the wave of his fury and his grief. I remembered the expression he had worn when first we rode into Forge town on that black day and saw what the Raiders had left of our folk. He had told me then that I would learn to care, that it was in my blood. With a rush I felt the rightness of his sentiment, and seized up a glass to join him. Together we toasted our queen. Then Chade grew more sober, and divulged the reason for his summons. The King, Shrewd himself, had once more repeated his order that I watch over Kettricken.
“I’ve been meaning to speak to you about that; that Shrewd sometimes now repeats an order already given or a comment already made. ”
“I’m aware enough of that, Fitz. What can be done, is. But the King’s health is another topic for another time. For now, I myself assure you that his repetition was not the rattling of a sickly mind. No. The King made this request again today as he was preparing himself to descend to dinner. He repeats it to make sure your efforts will be redoubled. He sees, as I do, that by arousing folk to follow her, the Queen puts herself more at risk. Though he would not speak it so plain. Be on your guard for her safety. ”
“Regal,” I snorted.
“Prince Regal?” Chade queried.
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“He is who we have to fear, especially now that the Queen has taken a place of power. ”
“I said nothing of the kind. Nor should you,” Chade observed quietly. His voice was calm but his face was severe.
“Why not?” I challenged him. “Why may not we, at least once, speak plain to one another?”
“To one another, we might, if we were entirely alone and it concerned only you and me. But such is not the case. We are King’s Men sworn, and King’s Men do not entertain even thoughts of treason, let alone …”
There was a gagging noise, and Slink disgorged himself. On the table, beside the food basket. He snorted, spraying drops of moisture.
“Greedy little wretch! Choked yourself, did you?” Chade rebuked him unconcernedly.
I found a rag to clean up the mess. But when I got there, Slink was lying on his side, panting, while Chade poked at the vomit with a skewer. I nearly retched myself. He waved my rag aside, picking up Slink instead and handing me the shivering creature. “Calm him, and get water down him,” he directed me tersely. “Go on, old man, go to Fitz, he’ll see to you. ” This to the weasel.
I carried him over by the fire, where he promptly puked all down my shirt. At closer range, the smell was overpowering. As I set him down and pulled my shirt off, I caught an underlying scent, more bitter than vomit even. Even as I opened my mouth to speak Chade confirmed my suspicions. “Varta leaves. Crushed fine. The spiciness of the sausage would conceal the taste well. Let’s hope the wine wasn’t poisoned as well, or we’re both dead. ”
Every hair on my body stood up in horror. Chade looked up to see me frozen, and pushed gently past me to pick Slink up. He offered him a saucer of water and looked pleased when Slink sampled it. “I think he’ll live. The little pig stuffed his mouth full, and got a better taste of it than a human would have. Up it came. The stuff on the table looks chewed, but not digested. I think the taste made him gag, not the poison. ”
“I hope so,” I said faintly. Every one of my nerves was tuned to an inner waiting. Had I been poisoned? Did I feel sleepy, nauseous, dizzy? Was my mouth numb, dry, watering? I broke out in a sudden sweat and began to tremble. Not again.
“Stop it,” Chade said quietly. “Sit down. Drink some water. You’re doing this to yourself, Fitz. That bottle was well sealed with an old cork. If the wine was poisoned, it was done years ago. I know of few men with the patience to poison a bottle of wine, and then age it. I think we’re fine. ”
I drew a shaky breath. “But such was not someone’s intent. Who brought your food?”
Chade gave a snort. “I prepared my own food, as always. But that on the table was from a gift basket left for Lady Thyme. From time to time folk seek to curry favor with her, as it is rumored she has the King’s ear. I did not think my masquerade woman a likely target for poison. ”
“Regal,” I said again. “I told you he believes she is the King’s poisoner. How could you have been so careless? You know he blames Lady Thyme for his mother’s death! Shall we be so polite as to let him kill us all? He will not stop until the throne is his. ”
“And I tell you again, I will hear nothing of treason!” Chade all but shouted the words. He sat down in his chair and cradled Slink in his lap. The little beast sat up, tidied his whiskers, and then curled up again to compose himself for sleep. I watched Chade’s pale hand, the standing tendons, the paper skin, as he stroked his small pet. He looked only at the weasel, his face closed. After a moment he spoke more calmly. “I think our king was right. We should all redouble our caution. And not just for Kettricken. Or ourselves. ” He lifted tortured eyes to mine. “Watch over your women, boy. Neither innocence nor ignorance is any protection against this night’s work. Patience, Molly, even Lacey. Find a way, a subtle way, to give Burrich warning as well. ” He sighed, asked of no one, “Have we not enemies enough outside our walls?”
“Aplenty,” I assured him. But I said no more of Regal to him.
He shook his head. “This is an ill way for me to begin a journey. ”
“A journey? You?” I was incredulous. Chade never left the Keep. Almost. “Where?”
“Where I need to go. Now I think I need almost as much to stay. ” He shook his head to himself. “Take care of yourself while I’m gone, boy. I won’t be about to watch over you. ” And that was as much as he would tell me.
When I left him, he was still staring into the fire, his lax hands sheltering Slink. I went down the stairs on jelly legs. The attempt on Chade had shaken me more than anything ever had. Not even the secret of his existence had been enough to shield him. And there were other, easier targets, just as close to my heart.
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I damned the bravado that had earlier let me make Regal aware of how much stronger I had grown. I had been a fool to
tempt him to attack me; I should have known he would find a less obvious target. In my room, I changed hastily into fresh clothing. Then I left my chamber, climbed the stairs, and went straight to Molly’s bedchamber. I tapped lightly on the door.
No answer. I did not tap louder. It lacked but an hour or two until dawn; most of the Keep was exhausted, abed. Still, I had no desire to rouse the wrong person to see me at Molly’s door. Yet I had to know.
Her door was latched, but it was a simple one. I slipped it in a matter of seconds and made note to myself that she would have a better one before tomorrow night. Soft as shadow, I entered her room and drew the door closed behind me.
A fire had burned low in the hearth. Its lingering embers cast an uncertain haze of light. I stood still a moment, letting my eyes adjust, then I moved carefully into the room, staying away from the hearth light. I could hear the steady sleep rhythm of Molly’s breath from her bed. It should have been enough for me. But I teased myself that she might be fevered and sinking even now into a death sleep from poison. I promised myself that I would do no more than touch her pillow, just to see if skin was fevered or normal. No more than that. I drifted to the bedside.
Beside the bed I stood motionless. I could just make out her shape under the covers in the dim light. She smelled heathery and warm and sweet. Healthy. No feverish poison victim slept here. I knew I should go. “Sleep well,” I breathed.
Silently she sprang up at me. The ember light ran red along the blade in her hand. “Molly!” I cried as I parried her knife hand aside with the back of my forearm. She froze, her other hand drawn back in a fist, and for an instant all in the room was silent and motionless. Then: “Newboy!” she hissed furiously, and punched me in the belly with her left hand. As I doubled over, gasping for air, she rolled from the bed. “You idiot! You frightened me to death! What do you think you’re about, rattling at my latch and sneaking about in my room! I should call the Keep guardsmen to put you out!”
“No!” I begged as she threw wood on the fire, and then kindled a candle at it. “Please. I’ll go. I meant no harm or offense. I just wanted to be sure you were all right. ”
“Well, I’m not!” she stormed in a whisper. Her hair was confined for the night into two thick braids, reminding me sharply of the little girl I had met so long ago. A girl no longer. She caught me staring at her. She threw a heavier robe about her shoulders and belted it at her waist. “I’m a shaking wreck! I shan’t sleep another wink tonight! You’ve been drinking, haven’t you? Are you drunk, then? What do you want?”
She advanced on me with the candle as if it were a weapon. “No,” I assured her. I drew myself upright and tugged my shirt straight. “I promise you, I’m not drunk. And truly, I had no bad intentions. But … something happened tonight, something that made me worry that something bad might happen to you, so I thought I had best come and make sure you were all right, but I knew Patience would not approve, and I certainly didn’t want to go waking up the whole Keep, so I thought I would just slip in and—”
“Newboy. You’re babbling,” she informed me icily.
It was true. “I’m sorry,” I said again, and sat down on the corner of the bed.
“Don’t get comfortable,” she warned me. “You were just leaving. Alone, or with the Keep guards. Your choice. ”
“I’ll go,” I promised, standing hastily. “I just wanted to be sure you were all right. ”
“I’m fine,” she said testily. “Why wouldn’t I be fine? I’m as fine tonight as I was last night, as I have been for the last thirty nights. On none of them were you inspired to come and inspect my health. So why tonight?”
I took a breath. “Because on some nights threats are more obvious than others. Bad things happen, that make me take stock of what worse things could happen. On some nights, it is not the healthiest thing to be the beloved of a bastard. ”
The lines of her mouth went as flat as her voice as she asked, “What is that supposed to mean?”
I took a breath, determined that I would be as honest with her as I was able. “I cannot tell you what happened. Only that it made me believe you might be in danger. You will have to trust—”
“That isn’t the part I meant. What do you mean, beloved of a bastard? How do you dare to call me that?” Her eyes were bright with anger.
I swear that my heart thudded to a halt in my chest. The cold of death swept through me. “It is true, I have no right,” I said haltingly. “But neither is there any way I could stop caring for you. And whether or not I have the right to name you my beloved would not deter those who might seek to injure me by striking at you. How can I say I love you so much that I wish I did not love you, or at least could refrain from showing that I loved you, because my love puts you in such danger, and have those words be true?” Stiffly, I turned to go.
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“And how could I possibly dare to say I made sense of your last statement and have it be true?” Molly wondered aloud.
Something in her voice made me turn around. For a moment we just looked at one another. Then she burst out laughing. I stood, affronted and grim, as she came to me, still laughing. Then she put her arms around me. “Newboy. You take a most roundabout path to finally declare you love me. To break into my room, and then to stand there, tying your tongue in knots about the word ‘love. ’ Could not you simply have said it, a long time ago?”
I stood stupid in the circle of her arms. I looked down at her. Yes, I realized dully, I had grown that much taller than she.
“Well?” she prompted, and for a moment I was puzzled.
“I love you, Molly. ” So easy to say, after all. And such a relief. Slowly, cautiously, I put my arms around her.
She smiled up at me. “And I love you. ”
So, finally, I kissed her. In the moment of that kiss, somewhere near Buckkeep a wolf lifted up his voice in a joyous ululation that set every hound to baying and every dog to barking in a chorus that rang against the brittle night sky.
9
Guards and Bonds
OFTENTIMES I UNDERSTAND and commend Fedwren’s stated dream. Had he his way, paper would be as common as bread, and every child would learn his letters before he was thirteen. But even were it so, I do not think this would bring to pass all he hopes. He mourns of all the knowledge that goes into a grave each time a man dies, even the commonest of men. He speaks of a time to come when a blacksmith’s way of setting a shoe, or a shipwright’s knack for pulling a drawknife would be set down in letters, that any who could read could learn to do as well. I do not believe it is so, or ever will be. Some things may be learned from words on a page, but some skills are learned first by a man’s hands and heart, and later by his head. I have believed this ever since I saw Mastfish set the fish-shaped block of wood that he was named after into Verity’s first ship. His eyes had seen that mastfish before it existed, and he set his hands to shaping what his heart knew must be. This is not a thing that can be learned from words on a page. Perhaps it cannot be learned at all, but comes, as does the Skill or the Wit, from the blood of one’s forebears.
I returned to my own chamber and sat watching the dying embers in my hearth, waiting for the rest of the Keep to awaken. I should have been exhausted. Instead, I almost trembled with the energy rushing through me. I fancied that if I sat very still, I could still feel the warmth of Molly’s arms around me. I knew precisely where her cheek had touched mine. A very faint scent of her clung to my shirt from our brief embrace, and I agonized over whether to wear the shirt that day, to carry that scent with me, or to set it aside carefully in my clothing chest, to preserve it. I did not think it a foolish thing at all to care so much about that. Looking back, I smile, but it is at my wisdom, not my folly.
Morning brought storm winds and falling snow to Buckkeep Castle, but to me it only made all inside the cozier. Perhaps it would give us all a chance to recover ourselves from yesterday. I did not want to think
about those poor ragged bodies, or bathing the still, cold faces. Nor of the roaring flames and heat that had consumed Kerry’s body. We could all use a quiet day inside the Keep. Perhaps the evening would find all gathered about the hearths, for storytelling, music, and conversation. I hoped so. I left my chambers to go to Patience and Lacey.
I tormented myself, knowing well the exact moment when Molly would descend the stairs to fetch a breakfast tray for Patience, and also when she would ascend the stairs carrying it. I could be on the stairs or in the hallway as she passed. It would be a minor thing, a coincidence. But I had no question that there were those who had been set to watching me, and they would make note of such “coincidences” if they occurred too often. No. I had to heed the warnings that both the King and Chade had given me. I would show Molly I had a man’s self-control and forbearance. If I must wait before I could court her, then I would.
So I sat in my room and agonized until I was sure that she would have left Patience’s chambers. Then I descended, to tap upon the door. As I waited for Lacey to open it I reflected that redoubling my watch upon Patience and Lacey was easier said than done. But I had a few ideas. I had begun last night, by extracting a promise from Molly that she would bring up no food she had not prepared herself, or taken fresh from the common serving pots. She had snorted at this, for it had come after a most ardent good-bye. “Now you sound just like Lacey,” she had rebuked me, and gently closed the door in my face. She opened it a moment later, to find me still staring at it. “Go to bed,” she chided me. Blushing, she added, “And dream of me. I hope I have plagued your dreams lately as much as you have mine. ” Those words sent me fleeing down to my room, and every time I thought of it, I blushed again.