by Suzanna Ross
Rosie was horrified. “And you saw that?”
He shrugged. “We got over it. Mum died when we were both quite young and things calmed down a bit after that.”
“What did she die of?”
“A previously undiagnosed heart defect.”
“How old were you?”
“Eleven.”
More things they had in common, he reflected – dysfunctional parents, unhappy childhoods, the loss of a mother at a young age…
“What about Gina?” she asked sleepily.
“What about her?”
“Did you love her?”
“No.” He answered instantly. No doubt at all about that. “I’ve never been in love.”
Rosie relaxed against the cushions once again. As she drifted back to sleep, what had remained unsaid played on his mind. Those early views of love and relationships had been further compounded by the empty relationships Theo had himself endured as an adult. He’d been wary of committing himself from the outset, preferring to concentrate on business interests, but a certain type of woman had battled relentlessly past his outward defences.
Unfortunately, those women had been vain and mercenary and had thought nothing of simpering vacuous and meaningless words of love. But their idea of love had been measured in terms of his bank balance and his willingness to pick up the bills for shoes and handbags.
That’s why he was fascinated by Rosie. Lovely Rosie, who didn’t want anything for herself and who argued whenever he tried to spoil her. Even if he didn’t love her, he’d be a fool to let her get away.
And, if he ever changed his mind, he imagined it would be very easy to fall in love with Rosie.
***
Rosie woke up and Theo was gone. As she registered that fact, the memory of yesterday rushed into her head. She was surprised she’d managed to sleep at all. Already the ache of missing Evie presented as a sharp pain in her chest. It was one thing for Evie to stay as a guest with Julia and her family. Quite another for her to actually move out to live with them permanently.
And Rosie was so furious with Julia it wasn’t true. She’d lied. Wormed her way into Rosie’s confidence. Pretended to be her friend.
“How are you this morning?” Theo brought a mug of tea through and put it down on the side table.
“Thanks.” Rosie elbowed her way out of the duvet, picked up the mug and sipped. “I needed that. I’ve been better. I still feel all kinds of stupid for not realizing there was something not quite right about the Julia situation.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” The cushions shifted as he sat easily at her feet. He looked as though he belonged there. “You took her friendship at face value.”
“I should have known – she was always so keen to help. So eager to have Evie stay over. It wasn’t normal.”
“Evie and Julia’s step-daughter are friends. They’ve worked together, running the sanctuary, and they help each other with homework. Why would you suspect anything else was going on?”
“I suppose.” She took another sip of her tea and then glanced at Theo from beneath her lashes. “I thought you’d gone.”
He smiled and reached out to rest his hand on her ankle. Through the cover, she could feel the weight of his touch and was comforted by it. More comforted than she should have been. She liked having him around. Liked having him to rely on.
“I didn’t want to leave you.”
Physical pain squeezed her heart at his admission and that was the exact moment the truth hit her with all the subtlety of a jackhammer – she was desperately in love with Theo Bradley.
It had been building up gradually and now, at the most inconvenient time possible, it threatened to overwhelm her. She took a deep breath. She had to leave the estate, there was no other choice under the circumstances. Evie was no longer a consideration. And Theo didn’t want love. If he ever found out how she felt about him she’d be on the next bus out of his life – probably on the seat next to Gina.
“I would have been fine.”
He smiled again, and it was as though his gold glance was a whisper against her skin. “I preferred to stay and see for myself.”
She didn’t want to move. Once she was up she’d have to face the reality of life without Evie – and the reality of loving Theo. While she stayed wrapped in her duvet she didn’t have to think. But she was still dressed in yesterday’s clothes, her head heavy from hours of crying. “I need a shower.”
“I’ll have breakfast ready when you’re dressed.”
Was there no end to the man’s talents? Really, he was just about perfect she realised as she turned the shower full on and stepped under. Too perfect for her.
Theo must never find out she was in love with him. Their relationship was a business one bordering on friendship, nothing more, and she had to remember that. It was not appropriate for her to allow her feelings to become involved. Besides which, this was her worst nightmare come true. She’d spent her life believing that falling in love would make her no better than her father’s groupies and now she was in danger of behaving exactly like them.
But how in heaven’s name was she supposed to hide the fact she loved him? And, more to the point, how could she quash those feelings when he insisted on being lovely at every turn?
It frightened the life out of her.
By falling for Theo so completely, she had laid herself wide open for betrayal in the most devastating way. Everyone she had ever been close to had done their bit to mess her life up – her father, her brother, even Julia. It looked as though betrayal went with the territory when you cared for someone. And she cared for Theo more than she had ever cared for anyone. Theo had the ability to hurt her more than any other human being ever had.
She didn’t want him to have that power.
She didn’t want to be in love with him.
The dreaded hand of fear grip her. What she felt for Theo was so much more than she had expected love to be. He’d become the entire focus of her life, surpassing even her grief that Evie had gone. She waited around for any crumb of attention he deigned to thrust her way. Just as her father’s girlfriends had hung around him waiting for his attention to validate their own existences.
He was busy at the Aga when she reached the kitchen. “Bacon and eggs okay?”
“Mmm, lovely, thank you.”
She grabbed a piece of toast and began to chew mechanically. She was going to have to be so careful. She couldn’t afford for him to guess – or she and Evie would be evicted before they knew it.
And then she remembered she was leaving and that Evie had another home now. And the sense of loss started to bite at her anew.
***
Theo could see the shutters closing over her lovely green eyes. This morning she’d turned back into a stranger – completely closed off and it was obvious she didn’t want to share any of the thoughts going through her beautiful head. And it hadn’t gone unnoticed that she still wore her old jeans in preference to anything in the smart new wardrobe he had provided her with. He’d been so sure they’d reached an understanding recently, but it seemed they were back to square one.
Today wasn’t a day to ask her about those things, though. Regardless of her reluctance to share, he knew she must be hurting. Today, she needed to be looked after, cosseted and reassured.
“She hasn’t gone far.” He flipped the bacon and cast a sympathetic glance in her direction.
“I know. I’m glad for her. Really I am. She’s getting the chance to make a life away from the estate – and from the shadow of our father’s behaviour.”
That was more than Rosie ever had, he realised grimly. She had sacrificed any chance of a life of her own to raise her sister. The more he found out about Rosie the more he admired her grit and resolve. “Evie will be back to visit.”
He glanced at her, uneasy he’d exploited her need to provide a home for her sister and her attachment to the estate for his own ends. He’d been too eager to take her up on her offer to run th
e place – despite knowing it probably wasn’t in her best interest – because he’d wanted to keep her close. He realised that now. And he could admit to himself that the attraction between them had floored him from the beginning.
“Well, she’ll be back to see the donkeys.”
He smiled as she made a brave attempt at humour. He blamed himself entirely for this. He’d messed up big time. In trying to give her what she wanted, he’d facilitated this disaster – breaking Rosie’s heart in the process. “She’ll be back to see you. You’re still her sister and she still loves you.”
Rosie nodded, but it was obvious she was fighting back tears. “Thank you for staying with me last night. I don’t know how I would have managed on my own.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
“But you were supposed to be at work. In fact, shouldn’t you be there now?”
Yes, he should be – this diversion had the potential to lose him millions. But Rosie was more important. “They’ll cope without me.” He served up the food and brought the plates over to where she sat at the table. “I thought, perhaps, under the circumstances, you might like to come back to London with me for a few days.”
That got her attention. Her head snapped up, eyes wide and she stared at him across the table. “What?” Her eyes narrowed. “Why?”
He shrugged. “Why not? Maybe we could go on that sightseeing trip you suggested. Besides, if you’re here on your own I’ll worry about you.” He hardly dared to breathe as he waited for her answer.
“I can’t think about this now, Theo.”
“You need a few days away from the estate.”
Her eyes widened and he couldn’t help noticing she didn’t look happy at the prospect. “I can’t leave the estate now, not with the renovations about to start on the manor.”
“There’s a management team on standby, ready to step in and hold the fort for you.”
“And I don’t want to be too far away in case Evie needs me.”
He sat back and folded his arms as he regarded her thoughtfully. She was making excuses now. He knew better than to push, but still he couldn’t help himself. “If she needs you she can phone. You can come straight back.”
She shook her head, the light in her eyes dull, her lovely mouth downturned. It seemed as though the ground was falling away beneath his chair.
“You’re right, Theo. There’s no reason for me to stay. And as you already have a team on standby, I’d like to hand in my notice. I’ll be leaving the estate as soon as I can tie up all the loose ends.”
He knew then he’d lost her.
Chapter Seventeen
Rosie was torn as she watched Theo leave. She wanted to call out after him, to stop him. He’d looked as devastated as she felt, but she knew there was no way she could stay. Not when she was so in love with him.
Best to end it now, before he discovered her sad little secret. She was sure he would be kind – he would pity her for her foolish lack of self restraint. He would feel sorry for her because she was every bit as weak as her father and his army of female followers. And then she would have to endure his sympathy as he told her he didn’t return her feelings.
She knew that would kill her.
When she heard the front door crash open, she thought he’d come back and her heart leapt. She tried not to show her fleeting disappointment when Evie crashed in. And then she realised Evie had been crying and thoughts of Theo were pushed to the back of her mind.
“Evie, what’s wrong?”
“George,” she cried on the peak of a sob. “He said I care more about Jessie than I do about him.”
A lover’s tiff. Rosie heaved a sigh of relief. It wasn’t the end of the world, even though it might feel like it to Evie at the moment. “What did you say to that?”
“I told him it was true.” She wailed again. “But it’s so not.”
“Oh sweetheart, come here.”
Evie obliged and, still sobbing, walked towards Rosie’s outstretched arms. Rosie was tempted to join in as Evie cried against her shoulder, but she had to be strong – if she gave into temptation she’d cry for the rest of her life. “It will be okay, I promise.” She stroked Evie’s hair and made more soothing noises. “What did Julia say?”
“She thinks it’s for the best – that he’s too old for me.”
Rosie thought back to the conversation she’d had with Julia just after the discovering Evie was serious about George. She’d thought it odd at the time that Julia had been so adamant Rosie needed to put a stop to it, but now she knew why. She hadn’t been speaking as an interested friend, but as a concerned aunt. “She’s only worried about you. And three years, at your age, is quite a gap.”
“But I love him.”
Rosie’s heart lurched, Evie had grown up so quickly. It was only yesterday she was playing with dolls and now she had a boyfriend, plans for university and a future. “I know you do. And I think he loves you.” As she spoke, the doorbell rang. “That could well be him now. You put the kettle on and I’ll go and see.”
But it wasn’t George. It was Julia. She stood uncertainly on the doorstep and gave a half smile. “I didn’t know if I’d be welcome.”
“I’m hardly going to ban you from the house.” Rosie stood aside awkwardly to let her in. “Evie’s here. She’s upset.”
Julia nodded as she stepped past. “George was looking for her. He’s gone up to the sanctuary, but I thought she might be here.”
Rosie lifted an eyebrow.
“Well, who else is she going to run to when she’s upset?”
There was a flurry as Evie rushed into the hall, it was obvious she’d heard. “George’s looking for me at the sanctuary?” Evie ran towards the front door, pulling her coat back on as she went. “Gotta-go. Thanks, Rosie.” She stopped long enough to peck Rosie on the cheek and to smile through her tears at Julia, and then she was gone.
Rosie and Julia looked at each other for a long moment and then simultaneously burst out laughing. “Another drama over,” Julia said.
Although Rosie understood Evie had been broken hearted, it was still amusing to see how quickly her sister had recovered her usual bounce once she discovered George wanted to make up.
“What did they argue about?”
“Something and nothing. Evie wanted him to help with the donkeys because some of her volunteers had called in sick, but he wanted to practice his music. She took it seriously at the time, though.”
Rosie nodded and shifted uncomfortably. This was awkward. But she could hardly ignore Julia, not when she’d been a friend for so many years. And particularly not now it was known she was Evie’s aunt. “Do you have time for a coffee?” It would take her time to forgive the deception, but maybe, given time, they might be able to rebuild their friendship.
Julia gave a relieved sigh. “Actually, I’d love a coffee.”
Once they were seated at the kitchen table, with their drinks, Julia started to talk. “I’m so sorry. I should have owned up years ago, but I didn’t know how to tell you. I really wanted to get to know Evie first. And the more I got to know you both, the harder I found it to own up. You were in a pretty vulnerable position when I first turned up – you had just lost your father and found out he’d left you nothing. I thought if I took Evie away it would just make matters worse. And I didn’t want that. I care about you, too.”
“I think if you’d taken Evie to live with you at that point, I’d have lost it completely,” Rosie admitted. “And I do appreciate everything you’ve done for us since you moved to the area. I would never have managed without your help. But I can’t help feeling foolish that I didn’t realise.”
“How could you have known?”
“The clues were there – the way you were always to eager to have Evie. You even took her on holiday with you and Bob and Louise.”
Julia shrugged. “That was nothing, I wanted to do so much more. But you wouldn’t take any financial help, and until I told you the truth I couldn’t i
nsist.”
Rosie took a long gulp of her drink and winced as the hot liquid burned her tongue. “Did Glory tell you why she left in the first place?”
“She and your dad weren’t getting along. She was very young, much younger than him. He made it clear Evie would be better off if she went. She watched from a distance, but she didn’t dare come back – even though she hated being apart from her child.”
“I’m sorry. It can’t have been easy, watching your little sister die.” Rosie thought for a moment how she’d feel in the same situation – and recoiled, rejecting the horrible image.
“It was hard,” Julia admitted. “I still miss her.”
And that’s was one of the reasons Evie was so important to Julia. Rosie understood now. She also understood exactly what it must have cost Julia to stand by and say nothing all these years. If she hadn’t been such a good friend, she could have claimed Evie years ago.
“Any word from Theo?” Julia obviously wanted to change the subject and Rosie was inclined to let her – even though her choice of diversion wasn’t the best.
“He came down late last night. But he’s gone now. I handed in my notice. Doubt I’ll see him again.”
“What? But he won’t let you go, surely.”
“He already has done. It’s time I made my own way in the world, anyway.” She made a brave attempt at a smile.
“He’ll be back.”
Rosie wasn’t happy Julia was pressing the issue. “I don’t think he will.”
Julie laughed. “If he’s not a man in love I’ll eat my hat.”
“He doesn’t love me. And he doesn’t want me to love him.”
“But you do.”
Rosie couldn’t bring herself to deny it. “Is it so obvious?”
“Only to those who care about you.”
By extrapolation of that statement, Theo obviously didn’t care about her, but Rosie didn’t want to dwell on it. “I’m so worried I’m turning into one of those women – the ones who flocked to the estate when I was growing up. They were all so needy. They threw themselves at my father and he was so shallow and treated them dreadfully.”