“Yeah. It usually takes years for a pet to get that close, but you’ve had so much of Elizabet’s blood…” His sigh brushed across the nape of my neck. “Plus mine and Marco’s. Add in what you’ve taken from Gianna and Jason, and you’re pretty damn close to the point of no return.”
“I thought it was ok to exchange blood with your girlfriend,” I muttered.
“It is, usually.” Another sigh, this one bordering on frustration. “I’m not sure how to explain. You really need to talk to Elizabet or Marco about this.”
Marco’s words came back to me clear as a bell. Fear me, little pet. I shivered, not entirely from the cold seeping through my bones. “I’d just as soon hear it from you.”
“Ok, fine.” His arm tightened around my torso and I could feel his erection growing, pressing into the tender muscles of my ass. “God, you smell good. Can’t believe I want you again after last night.”
“Stop stalling.”
“I’m not.” He barked out a soft laugh. “Ok, maybe a little. This is kinda tough.”
I rested my hand on top of his, absorbing the warmth of his skin. “Try.”
“When you took so much blood from Elizabet your first night, apparently it jump-started the change in you, skipping you through the gradual process she uses to fully integrate pets into her world.”
“I figured that much out on my own a while back, Dev. What does that have to do with tonight?”
“You keep taking too much blood,” he said. “First with Elizabet, then with me and Gianna. Your body’s going through the change too fast, leaping ahead of where it should be. It was bound to outgrow even your stellar ability to control it.”
I snorted. Stellar control? Yeah, right. The previous night proved my handle on All Things Vampyr was pretty weak.
“Last night, we pushed you to the edge of your mental tolerance for pain and pleasure. If you’d been less far along in the change, less able to endure it physically, Elizabet would’ve sensed it and pulled back, freeing you much sooner.”
“How much sooner?”
“Probably after about fifteen minutes, maybe less.”
Well, there went my ego. “How long was I on the brink?”
His breath caught before he said quietly, “An hour and a half, more or less.”
Jesus. No wonder I’d snapped. I didn’t remember much from the night before, but the pain of being held on the edge of arousal was etched firmly into my memory. It had been nearly intolerable.
Scratch that. If I understood what Devin was saying, it had been enough for my mind to seek refuge elsewhere, enough to push me close to the precarious edge separating my humanity from the vampirism growing within me.
“You were supposed to stick around at Elizabet’s. I’d already called in Therese and Alice, and they were going to help ease the need until you could control it again.”
Two of Elizabet’s vampire daughters. I’d never thought Elizabet would share me with anyone, though I was well aware that she shared other pets with her creations.
“Instead, you slipped away from me and came here.”
“I was looking for Gianna.” Another clarity. I’d instinctively sought my heart when I’d been at my lowest. “I don’t remember getting home, though.”
“You called a cab. Or one of Elizabet’s servants did, anyway. That’s how we tracked you before Gianna had the presence of mind to call me.”
Panic squeezed itself into my chest. “Where is she?”
“At home, resting. She was pretty upset at the things she saw, some of the things you asked her to do.”
I groaned and closed my eyes. My memory didn’t have to be intact for me to understand that it must’ve been bad. “Is her friend ok?”
“Yes. Elizabet will be pleased to hear you’ve found her such a fitting pet.”
“That would mean more if I remembered him.”
“Well, remember this, lover boy. You get a bonus for bringing in a new pet.”
“Yeah?” I squinted at him over my shoulder. “How much?”
“Didn’t you read your contract?” He shook his head. “Never mind. Kiss me before you drift off.”
I clutched at his hand. “You won’t leave me, will you?”
“I’ll be right here,” he said gently. “Now, a kiss.”
His lips met mine briefly, and then I slipped into sleep, too weary to worry over the mess I’d made of things.
Chapter Six
It took me a full day to recover enough strength to be able to go out. I tried calling Gianna, left message after message on her cell, and waited in agony to hear from her. When she didn’t return my calls, dread became a constant companion, and worry followed right behind it. Had I hurt her? Surely not. The instinct to protect her had to run deeper than surface level. But I probably had pushed her well past her comfort zone. Dammit. I’d tried so hard to keep our sex life normal, to not let my time in the Vampyr taint what Gianna had brought to my life. Looked like I’d failed there in a big way.
Devin left after our nap, promising to stop by and check on me later. I could read the hope in his heart that I’d allow the kind of intimacy we’d shared to continue. Since I didn’t remember hardly any of it, it didn’t seem right to either quash his hope or feed it. I did kiss him goodbye, a lingering caress that should’ve stirred some feeling in me.
I’d been oddly numb to sexual desire since I’d woken up, possibly from the night’s excess, possibly a holdover from the compulsion Elizabet had used to keep me on the brink of orgasm. The memory of the night’s events eluded me, regardless of how hard I tried to recover it. Devin had shared what he knew, all the gory details he’d been able to draw from Gianna, as well as what Cassie had learned from Jason.
Apparently, I’d thought I was a master vampire. Just a little tidbit I’d let slip. It had probably scared the piss out of Gianna.
Jason, on the other hand, I still didn’t remember, so what he’d thought of it elicited an apathetic meh.
I’d had to skip classes for a day, just one. It took that long for my glutes to heal (next time, I got to paddle Devin) enough to sit comfortably. Couldn’t afford to lose more time than that without getting in trouble with the profs, especially not this close to finals. Devin had done me another huge favor by e-mailing them for me. I would’ve been more thankful if he weren’t a big part of the reason behind why I couldn’t attend classes.
Gianna weighed heavily on my mind. I let two days pass before I tracked her down, searching first at work, then at the library, and finally at her dorm. It took me a while to gather the courage to climb the steps to her floor and a lot longer to actually knock.
Maybe she wasn’t there. I paced away, ran a hand over my hair. What if her roommate answered the door, neo-punk Faith with her sharp tongue and zero-tolerance attitude? I paced back and rubbed at my mouth. What if Gianna never forgave me for whatever it was I’d done? Never wanted to see me again, never wanted to be with me? Sharp spikes of fear embedded themselves in my heart. God, I couldn’t give her up, not now. I knocked on the door and waited.
Faith opened the door, glared at me through violet-colored contacts, and made to close it again.
I caught it in mid-swing, holding it open with one hand using a strength I hadn’t known I had. Gianna’s scent, fresh and whole, drifted to me through the opening. “Faith, come on. I need to talk to Gianna.”
“Tough shit. She doesn’t want to see you.”
“Did I…?” I swallowed around the worry lodged in my throat. “Is she ok?”
“She’s scared shitless, dumbass,” Faith said flatly. “And she won’t talk about it, either.”
“Did I hurt her? Just tell me that.”
“No, not physically.” Faith’s expression softened as she shifted her weight behind the door. “It might be better if you leave her alone for a while.”
“I can’t.” If nothing else, she needed regular doses of my blood, at least until I could wean her off. “Look, would you tell her something?
Please?”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “I’ll think about it.”
“Tell her I’m sorry, that I didn’t mean to scare her. I would never hurt her.”
“She knows,” Faith said softly. “Anything else?”
Nothing I wanted to relay through a third party. “She’ll need to come see me in the next day or two. If not me, then Devin. She’ll understand why.”
Faith gave me with a speculative look. “You her supplier or something?”
“Jesus, Faith. No. It’s personal.”
“I’m thinking she doesn’t want to have anything personal to do with you anymore.” She shrugged, a careless lift of her thin shoulders. “Could be wrong.”
I hoped she was dead wrong.
Faith nudged the door and I let my hand drop so she could close it. I listened for a minute. Gianna’s quiet sob was like a sucker punch to my gut. The air left my lungs and my chest tightened with grief and love, a love I’d never confessed to her, like an idiot.
I finally tore myself away from the door and headed toward my apartment in a rambling walk that cleared my mind if not my conscience. The air was crisp and cool, the stores decked out with bows and gifts and holiday cheer. Christmas was just around the corner. Gianna and I had decided to spend the holiday with our families before returning to school early to have our own celebration. We were supposed to put up a small tree in my apartment during the coming weekend, bake cookies and watch old movies.
Didn’t think I could handle doing that without her.
By the time I made it back home, my mood was in the tank, so when a Nordic giant carrying a backpack pushed himself away from the stairwell and caught my gaze with his, I wasn’t really in the mood to be friendly. I ignored him and took the steps two at a time, not even breaking a sweat.
Being a vampire’s pet had some fringe benefits, though those didn’t always make up for the nasty side effects. Like, say, turning into a vampire when you least expected it.
The giant followed me up at a slower pace, his footsteps surprisingly quiet on the stairs.
I fiddled with the lock on my door, jiggling the key until the mechanism in the knob unlatched. “Whatever you’re selling, I’m not buying.”
The footsteps paused. “You really don’t remember me.”
I turned and raked a gaze over him. He had to be six six in his socked feet and had the muscular build of a man who knew how to use his body, a handsome face, and clear blue eyes that brought a sharp pain to my temple. Adonis, my mind whispered. Black spots danced in front of my eyes and I swayed, catching myself with a hand on the doorframe.
It wasn’t the first time it had happened when I tried to remember that night. Probably wouldn’t be the last.
“You must be Jason,” I said wearily. “Might as well come in.”
He followed me inside and dropped his backpack onto the floor under the coat rack attached to the wall. “So you do remember me.”
“Process of elimination.” I shut and locked the door out of habit, hung up my coat. “I’ve been told you were here a couple of nights ago, but I don’t actually remember you.”
A disappointed look flashed across his face. “Cassie said you might not.”
“I wasn’t exactly myself.” I trudged into the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Want a coke or something?”
“Water? I’m not supposed to have pop.”
A jumble of memories flitted through my mind, sharp enough to make me wince. I shoved it away. Getting so I couldn’t think without the pain stabbing at me.
I handed him a chilled bottle of water and popped the top on a canned coke. “You play hoops for Tech.”
He twisted the lid off his water and sipped from it, his gaze steady, his stance firm.
“It was a guess.” I leaned against the edge of the counter and gestured at him with the can of coke. “Tall, athletic, no coke. It’s December.”
“Therefore basketball,” he said. “I was hoping you’d remembered.”
“Sorry, man. Whatever happened that night, it’s tucked itself away where I can’t find it.” And didn’t want to, on a subconscious level, anyway. “I get flashes every now and again. A certain smell, a word or phrase. Pretty sure I gave you a blow job.”
His cheeks colored and he looked away. “Yeah.”
Realization dawned. “And that’s why you’re here.”
“I figured since you already knew I was bi and you seemed so willing before.” He shrugged. “Maybe you’d want to try again. Gianna…”
“You’ve seen her?”
“She won’t talk to me.”
“Me, neither.” I grimaced and rubbed a finger across my forehead. “I guess you know what happened to scare her away.”
“Part of it.” He gave a half laugh, sipped his water. “You had me naked on the couch with your mouth on my dick when she came in. Something about testing a beacon?”
“Mmm.” No way was I gonna explain that. “Go on.”
“She was a little, ah, shocked, but you…”
“Encouraged her to participate,” I guessed.
“Something like that.” A satisfied smile played around his mouth. “One thing led to another.”
“You fingered her.”
He put a hand up, palm out. “She liked it and you seemed ok with it at the time. Guess I shoulda known you weren’t.”
“Hunh. Lot of that going around.” I shook my head at his curious look. “Never mind. What else?”
“She, er, had an orgasm, then me, and then I passed out. Next thing I know, this cheerleader type wakes me up, offers to take me back to the dorm. I nearly blew curfew.” His mouth tilted into a cocky smirk. “Small price.”
“I bet,” I said with a wry grin. “And you came back for more.”
“Hell, yeah. Wouldn’t you?”
“Maybe.” I finished off my coke and set the empty can by the sink. “Gianna’s the big incentive, though, huh.”
He rubbed a thumb against the bridge of his nose. “Sort of.”
But not all. “You realize I can feel your emotions, right?”
“Look, it’s kinda hard to talk about this stuff when you’ve been told your whole life it’s wrong.” His eyes dropped down my body so fast I thought I’d imagined it. “Let’s just say Gianna’s a part of it, but she’s not the only reason.”
“You want to fuck me,” I said bluntly.
“Fuck you, be fucked by you. Do the same to Gianna, if she’d have me.” He laughed softly, bitterly. “But you got to her first and I blew it the other night.”
“We both blew it, me more than you. She’s my girlfriend.”
I smiled to soften the blow. Truth was, it didn’t bother me nearly enough that he’d had his hands on her, or that he wanted another stab at being with her. I couldn’t blame him for that. Plus, I kinda liked him. He was gorgeous, yeah. Between his looks and his sheer mass, my dick was at half-mast, though I couldn’t really feel it. More, he seemed like a nice guy. I didn’t have so many friends that I could afford to pass an opportunity by.
“I was gonna study, but if you want to hang out, you’re welcome.”
His shoulders relaxed and he exhaled slowly, like he’d been holding his breath. “You sure you don’t mind?”
“I’d kick you out if I did.”
He snorted out a laugh. “You’re kinda runty to talk smack.”
I flashed my fangs and snickered when he blanched. “Be nice or I’ll use these on you.”
“Pretty sure you already did, man.” He stuffed his fingers into the front pockets of his jeans and rocked back on his heels. “Pretty sure I want you to again.”
“Hunh.” I stared at him, nonplussed. “Most people freak out when they see the teeth.”
“I’ve had a little time to get used to it,” he said with a shrug. “Cassie sorta let it slip.”
“Right.” I’d have to let Devin know, though there wasn’t much danger of Jason saying anything. Who would believe him? More importantly, he wouldn�
��t risk losing his position on the team by spouting what anyone else would deem crazy talk. “You hungry?”
“Starved.”
He hesitated, a clear check of his first impulse. I had pity on him and filled in the need I could feel echoing out of his mind, one of them anyway. “Pizza?”
“That’d be great.”
I ordered two and settled with him on the sofa to study. And was impressed when he focused his mind intently on his textbook. He had an amazing amount of control. Elizabet would love him.
When the delivery man brought our supper, we left the boxes in the kitchen and ate in the living room with the TV turned to ESPN. It was nice to hang out with a guy, something I’d mostly neglected since starting college, Devin excepted. But Devin wasn’t exactly a regular guy. He liked art and theater and the esoteric stuff most people just didn’t get. Jason was more down to earth, a product of his roots, I guessed. Raw-boned and honest and clean-cut, and a hell of a lot less complicated than Devin ever would be. He kept his hands to himself and cleaned up his own mess, which I respected the hell out of. Most college guys were slobs, myself included. Jason turned out to be a bit of a neat freak, which I didn’t mind at all.
Half an hour before his curfew, he gathered his books together and thanked me solemnly. I invited him to come back whenever he wanted and knew he would by the tiny spark glowing in his eyes. It wouldn’t take him long to feel comfortable enough around me that he’d remember how to use his hands. What I’d do when he figured that out was another question entirely.
Chapter Seven
Devin stopped by the next day and invited me out to eat with him and Cassie. I went more to get out of the apartment than anything. I’d spent the day alternating between studying and moping over Gianna, searching for a way to bring her back into my life.
Much to my surprise, we went to the burger joint Gianna and I favored, and when we got there, I saw why. Gianna sat in a booth in the back, facing the door. My heart tripped over itself and longing filled every cell in my body. I don’t remember walking back to that booth. One minute I was outside, struggling to breath around the emotion balled up in my chest, and the next I was standing beside the booth, drinking in my fill of her sweet beauty.
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