I also chose this spot so that I could inconspicuously practice my manipulation of water. There was a small fish swimming near me, and with a thought and a bit of light I sent a current that took the fish away from the bit of algae it wanted. I smiled and stopped the fish again and again from its meal. It was an easy enough thing for me to do now that I knew I could do it. I just told the light to repel the water in this way or that and it would.
One momentous thing I discovered while practicing this was that I did not ever have to say my manipulations aloud. This made things much easier. I only had to grab the light first, think with intensity what I wanted, and then push the light away on my terms instead of letting it go by itself. From my reading of the journal, I was not sure that anyone before me had accomplished this. Also, I was uncertain whether anyone had had as many affinities as I, or as strong. I was almost certain I could see the future in my dreams, though this was a gift that seemed only on the verge of developing. I could control water and minds efficiently. Who knew what else I would be able to do?
“My sweet princess, there you are.”
The unexpected noise shattered my reverie. My head turned as Thomas stepped from behind the nearby oak. I stood quickly, startled by his appearance. He walked confidently around to stand just feet away from me. He was wearing a cream doublet and hose to match. The doublet accentuated his narrow hips and broad shoulders, and the hose showed off his well-turned calf. His dangerously beautiful eyes watched me as I assessed him.
“I can see that you appreciate a fine formed man when you do not have so many people surrounding you. I enjoy your form too, or couldn’t you tell by the way my hands linger over you in our fun little morning foreplay. But here I find you out of doors, far away from the house, and quite alone. It’s as if my dreams are coming true. Could you finally be letting your guard down? Are you accepting my proposal?”
I cut in, determined not to let him have the upper hand. “You Sir, I would have accepted had you asked, but you did not and now you are my stepmother’s husband, thus I am done with you,” I said and smoothed my skirt over my hips. “I only humor looking at you and allowing you to visit to please Katherine. She asked me so nicely to accept your friendship. Still I have never said I enjoy the sight of you.”
He laughed haughtily, his eyes twinkling as he stepped closer to lay a hand on my upper arm, “Do not worry, my dear little princess, I like these games you play. I like them very much, No need to sell them to me so harshly.” His hand went up and down my arm, causing a tingling to begin in my toes and move up my legs. “You did give something away you know. The fact that you want me. You thought I would ask for your hand. Whilst I have been playing house with Katherine, I have missed terribly our walks in the garden and our flirtations. Not that it has been all bad.” He smiled wickedly and began to caress my arm more fully. “But Katherine does not have your freshness.”
I pulled away from him, embarrassed I’d admitted what I had. Incensed and excited by his touch, I turned, putting one hand to my blushing cheek.
“Come now, don’t be ashamed.” Thomas cooed and sidled up behind me. I could feel his heat. “Here, I will admit something so that we are even.” He moved even closer. I felt his breath on my neck as he whispered. “Did you know I asked your brother, my nephew, for your hand in marriage before I took good old Kate’s?” He paused to let that sink in.
And sink in it did. My mind worked furiously on the words.
I knew I wasn’t crazy. This wasn’t Thomas’s fault. It was Edward’s! I turned toward him slowly, wide-eyed and breathing hard.
Thomas traced my jaw with his thumb, his dark irises following the motion. Then his gorgeous eyes found mine. Still whispering he said, “I was refused, and the only way I could think to stay near you was to marry Kate. Besides, I knew that she loved me and would treat me well. She is after all the dowager queen, and I must say a very good woman.”
He made it all sound so reasonable. He made it sound like it was the only way I could have what I wanted, and I almost believed him. Parts of me did believe him and they warmed and hummed with his words and his look and his touch.
His hand cupped my shoulder, but he extended a long slender thumb to trace along my bare collarbone. It took all of my control not to melt in pleasure. I loved his hands. I loved them touching me.
What could I do? I watched his eyes and I knew that my face betrayed me, for he smiled and took me in his arms, pulling me into the dark shadows under a tree.
Pressing his mouth to my ear, he whispered, “Now my little rosebud, do you want what only I can give you? I want to hear you say that you want it. I know all you need, and I will give you more than you will be able to stand. All you must do is ask.” His mouth closed around the lobe of my ear as he breathed haggard breaths and waited for me to speak.
Everything was happening so fast. I could barely understand what he was saying to me. What was he going to give me? What did he want me to say? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was his mouth was touching my skin and his hands were clawing my back. I swallowed ready to say something, anything, but before words formed, Kat’s voice came like an angel’s carried on the breeze.
“Elizabeth, where are you?”
Thomas instantly let me go and, to my horror, stepped out from behind the tree. “She is here, Lady Katherine, safe as can be. I was just trying to get her to cool down. She has been sitting in the sun so long I fear she may be overheated.”
He pulled me gently from behind the tree and I must have been red-faced, for Kat was instantly alarmed and rushed to my side. “Thank you, Admiral. I can see what you mean. You have not sat in the sun too long since you were a child, Elizabeth. What were you thinking? Let’s get you to the house.”
“May I be of assistance? Perhaps I should carry her?” And with that, he swept me up in his arms without a problem, or consent for that matter.
As he carried me, I was very aware of his hand under my arm pressing very close to my breast. I wriggled, hoping to get away, but then he was talking. “I am just lucky to have happened upon her. I have two places on the grounds I walk to each day: this pond and the pergola on the other side of the house.” He looked at me with significance. I of course knew the place that he spoke of and I took his meaning for what it was: an invitation. “I think with a little shade and cool water she will be fine.”
“Yes Kat, I will be fine. In fact, I think I am fine enough now to walk,” I said with a little aggravation coloring my voice.
But Thomas answered me without missing a beat. “Oh no, my Lady. I would not want you to exert yourself, not when you are overheated.” And he gave my thigh, which was covered by my dress, a tight squeeze.
The next evening a devil must have possessed me, for I wandered through the garden as if under a spell. I did not think where my feet were taking me, but if my dreams were any indication, it was to Thomas and the under-boughs of that same oak tree.
He was there. His mood dark. He looked up as he saw me, his eyes narrowed. “I have been waiting here for a very long time.” He rose and came toward me with purpose. I trembled. “I’m afraid you are in above your head, my little rose bud, for I am unaccustomed to waiting so long. I have had you fifty times in my mind whilst waiting and now,” he’d reached me and took me by the wrist, pulling me toward the tree, “now, I will wait no longer.”
Once under the great leaves, we were truly in the dark and before I knew what to do, Thomas had me against the oak truck. His mouth attacked my neck, biting, kissing, and licking me. Lifting me up and anchoring me between the rough bark of the tree and the strong length of his body, he made his way around my décolletage with his mouth and, though I was excited, I did not understand why he was spending so much time kissing that part of me. Still, I thought I enjoyed it. And even if I didn’t, I needed this to happen. I had thought about this too much to stop it. Thus I did not care if I came out of it gnashed and bleeding. It was time.
After a few moments he looked up from th
e neck of my dress with fire in his eyes, desire like I had never seen before. A chill ran up my spine telling me this was not good. I was in too deep. I didn’t know what to do. My body wanted Thomas, wanted this. But my heart and mind…they were screaming as well. Screaming to run.
“Say it.” He said. “I want to hear the words out of these lips.” His thumb appeared and pulled my bottom lip down. It popped back up to its regular position with a small clicking sound which made Thomas bite his own lip and breath heavily. “I can barely hold on here, Elizabeth. Do what I ask, or I will make you regret it.” He growled in a way that I think he thought was charming. But it wasn’t.
And I still didn’t know what he wanted me to say.
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came to mind. Frustrated, I gritted out, “I’m sorry, Thomas, I just don’t know what you want me to say.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Oh, stuff it. I’m over it.” Then his lips were pressing against mine. I stood there—for he had put me down—stunned. I was having my first kiss and it was…awful and wet and no matter how much I intended to like it, I just didn’t, not really. And then, Thomas forced his tongue into my mouth and flicked it around and around. Trying to play some sort of chasing game. I did not like the taste of him.
Still, I went along with it and got used to it after a second, but I was not impressed by it. I tried to get him to put his tongue back in his mouth, but he took that the wrong way.
His passion doubled, and his hands began ripping at the back of my black dress.
Rip it he did.
His exuberance was not wasted, for several minutes later I wondered if my fantasies were about to come true. I felt my body warm and relax. I felt myself settling into the rhythm of what he was doing with his mouth. But then he began fumbling for the bottom of my skirts.
Startled, I placed my hands on his chest, and pressed. He was a stone.
But then Katherine was there. Well not her just yet, but her voice calling out to Thomas. She had not seen us, she was still too far away, but there was no way to hide that we were under the oak in the darkness.
Thomas pulled away from me, wide-eyed. “Bollocks.” He swore in a whisper and looked at me so forlornly I almost felt sorry for him. “We were about to get somewhere.” He sighed. Then, to my dismay, he called out to her. Quietly he said to me, “Do as I say.”
I nodded my head and he pushed me onto a low branch of the oak, then motioned me to climb higher, and I did. When Katherine came around to where she could see us, I was sitting securely a few branches above the ground, looking demure.
Katherine smiled when she saw Thomas and quickened her step.
“This fool girl of yours climbed this tree and now that it is twilight she is stuck up there. She is only now getting down to the lower branches, I happened by and she called out for help. The problem is her dress has gotten ripped and she is too shy to let me get her down for fear of exposure. Will you come help me talk her down?”
“Certainly, my love, but you startled me. I did not see you under there.” She pushed her way under the low branches, looking up at me when her eyes had adjusted. “Oh, my dear, you are in a frightful state. Let’s get you down.”
So she proceeded to help me, and all the time I shot admiring glances at Thomas. He was superbly good at lying. I wondered when that had become something I admired.
I breathed a sigh of relief when we were finally out of the tree’s grasp. Katherine looked at me questioningly and her arms cradled her small pregnant belly. “You look as if you were attacked by a wild animal, Elizabeth.”
Thomas laughed and I blushed. “She could not have been, my love. A wild animal on the grounds? It is unheard of.” He thought this very funny indeed and could not stop his laughing.
Katherine then looked at him questioningly. “Sir, you have not gotten in the wine, have you?”
He looked shocked. “No, my Lady. Not that I can recall, that is.”
Katherine laughed and patted his cheek. “Things are so much more interesting when you have gotten into the wine.” And the hussy winked and smiled devilishly. Why was she so flirtatious when she could not make good on it while in her condition?
I acted as if I had not seen any of it and starting walking away from them, but I kept stumbling over a hanging bit of my dress.
Soon Thomas called out to me.
“Halt, my Lady Princess, and let us fix your gown so that you will not be falling all the way to the house.”
I could not ignore him, so I stopped and turned. He had pulled out a small knife he must have kept in his boot and said, “Hold her, Katherine, for I fear she may jump and I will cut her instead of the dress.”
Katherine stood close behind me, her swollen abdomen pressing into my back, and held me at my shoulders tightly. “Do not move. my dear. He is very skilled at this process, but I would not want to risk you getting hurt.” Even that had a wicked ring to it and I looked down at Thomas who was kneeling at my feet. He flashed a surly smile at us.
Then all I heard was the ripping sound of material being severed.
Then I heard him laugh. “I cannot fix it. It will not go right. I just keep making it shorter and shorter. I am afraid that it is quite ruined, Elizabeth. At least you will not trip.”
His speech was halted by Kat’s approach. The sky was almost completely dark, but there was enough light to see the situation in its entirety. She saw Katherine holding my shoulders while Thomas had shreds of my gown in one hand and a knife in the other.
Alarm colored her face instantly. “What in the name of heaven is going on here?” she said and rushed toward me.
I looked down and saw my exposed legs and saw Thomas eyeing them appreciatively. Katherine, looking at Kat, laughed unconcernedly and began to explain. Thomas took advantage of their distraction and the dim light to run the hand with the knife gently across the back of my calf as he stood.
And it was then that two thoughts occurred to me. First, I liked that dangerous caress of my leg much more than all the kissing we had just done. Second, I was not prepared to be man-handled by him in front of his wife. It was too shameful.
This second thought had merit, and I left it to work on my conscience.
It didn’t take long.
What was I thinking? Frolicking with a married man? Letting him kiss me and touch me?
Because of that, I stood in front of the people that loved me best with a ripped dress, showing off my legs.
I broke away from Katherine and, covering my face with my hands, fled past her toward the house.
Episode 6
May 1548
Old manor in Chelsea, London
I tried to avoid Thomas after that. I had tasted the fruit and it was not everything I dreamed. Still I could not stop thinking of it. It was as if I’d decided what Thomas should be like and longed for him to show me the man of my imaginings. So, I continued to hope.
I did not have to wait long for him to find a way to continue his pursuit. Kathrine fell ill, and Thomas convinced Kat that Katherine valued her as a companion and thus wished Kat would nurse her. The loving and kind soul that was Kat believed him and that left me many evenings and mornings alone in my chambers.
During such periods of unaccompaniment, Thomas snuck into my sleeping chamber. He paid me no respect by asking to engage me, he just took my acquiescence as a matter of course. Thus, I spent hours being petted and kissed and smothered by the lonely man.
In these moments when we could not speak for fear of being overheard, we whispered, but Thomas never let me see the man he really was. He only ever focused on his passion and all comments were limited to that end.
One morning he prevailed upon me with more vigor; kissing me passionately did not suffice. He moved himself on top of me and my coverlet, then he pressed his body against me over and over, moaning softly between kisses.
His actions brought back that conversation I’d had with Blanche, about the relations between a man and woman a
nd I wondered if that was where Thomas expected this to go. That of course was ridiculous. It had to be. But I worried that that was what he meant by ‘having me’. And if it did, had he ‘had’ me and my coverlet, that morning? I pondered on it quite a bit because the description given me by Blanche did not line up, making me frustrated with confusion.
Still, I knew I was gaining something from my time with Thomas. I felt it. Something was happening to me. I felt that Thomas was teaching me in the art of love, a subject I was wholly ignorant on.
Besides in the garden, and that one morning in my bed, he led me through the processes gently. Teaching me what he liked, though he was not very concerned with what I liked. However, I did warm to his teaching and found that I had moments of passion as well.
That perhaps was the problem with the process. As I warmed to it, I desired things I did not understand and intrinsically knew were wrong. But the need grew. I learned what to do, how to move, and within a week of visits from Thomas in my bed, I felt stirrings of things deep inside me that frightened me.
This had begun as a seduction, then an obsession, then vindication, and now an education. One evening things came to a head. Thomas had me right where he wanted me, I was helpless and completely in his control. I knew he was about to take it to some new level, filled with things I could not imagine, when he pulled away from me and whispered, “Elizabeth, are you ready?”
I blinked away the fog of pleasure and asked, “Ready for what?”
He stopped breathing and just stared at me in the candlelight. It took a few lengthy moments before he released his breath and moved off of me.
“You really don’t know, do you?”
“I don’t know what?”
He stood. “If you do not know, I will not tell you. Ask a maid or a servant.” He moved toward the door clearly frustrated, but he turned back with a few rushed steps, his face a mask of severity, and whispered harshly, “Find Isabel, or Emma, or Frances. They are all well versed.” Then he practically stomped from the room.
Elizabeth Tudor- Ancestry of Sorcery Page 21