Kahm watched numbly. He had never seen Dom beaten so soundly before. In fact, he had never seen a real spear fight, so he failed to notice that Balsa refrained from striking the final blow.
She moved away from Dom where he writhed in agony on the ground and turned toward Kahm. “So how about it? Do you want to fight too?”
His knees were shaking, but he clenched his teeth and leveled his spear at her. She nodded and moved easily to close the space between them. He focused, drawing energy from deep within to fight.
At that moment, however, Dom threw his spear, aiming straight for Balsa’s back.
Even she had not foreseen this move. He was still prostrate on the ground, and was forced to throw it left-handed. Moreover, if she moved aside, it would strike Kahm. By the time she sensed the danger, she barely had time to twist away. The spear point grazed her shoulder, giving Kahm just enough time to knock it to the ground.
“You’re finished,” Dom jeered. “I coated the tip with togal.”
Balsa felt the wound in her shoulder grow numb and knew he spoke the truth; the spear had been poisoned. She had run out of time. Turning around, she raced toward Kahm, knocked aside the spear he swung toward her, and hit him in the pit of the stomach with the hilt of her own. He crumpled to the ground in a dead faint. Without pausing to look back, Balsa splashed through the creek and into the trees, heading up the mountain.
The sun had already set, but the sky still glowed with a lingering blue light. The numbness spread from the wound in her left shoulder to her back and chest. She let it bleed, praying that some of the poison would wash out with it, and continued to climb.
Finally the last light faded and everything sank into darkness. Nothing moved except the occasional mountain goat bounding away from her in fright, its hooves ringing on the stones. The numbness spread to her legs, and suddenly they slipped out from under her. She fell between two rocks, hitting her side as she went down. Balsa lost consciousness.
“How many times do I have to tell you? Never let down your guard! Never, never turn your back on an enemy, even if you think you’ve beaten him!”
Balsa opened her eyes with a start. Jiguro?
But she heard nothing more. A white blur hovered before her eyes, and she felt weights pressing against her chest and back. Gradually her mind cleared and she remembered where she was. She was lying on her side on a mountain in Musa territory, where she had fallen between the rocks. She still felt numb, but judging from the fact that she was alive, the poison had not been enough to kill her.
With relief, she found that she could move her right arm, which was pinned beneath her. She squirmed and wriggled, gasping for breath, until she managed to sit up. Leaning back against the rock, she pulled her legs toward her and breathed deeply.
The tops of the bumpy crags above her glowed white. The moon must have risen, she thought. But it was more than the moon; everything around her seemed unnaturally bright. Occasionally she heard the pitter-patter of a mouse or some other little creature running, and then the beating of owl wings in pursuit. Perhaps the poison in her veins had lent her this extraordinary perception.
Now what am I going to do? She gazed at the strange moonlit world. When she was captured, she had intended to let Dom and Kahm take her to Yuguro. But she realized now that Yuguro would never risk being stripped of his mask as a hero. He would never give her a chance to defend herself, but would kill her first, finding some excuse to justify his actions.
She knew from bitter experience that authority meant power. She might be skilled as a warrior, but she did not stand a chance against a man as influential as Yuguro. If one person could really make a difference, she, Jiguro, and her father would not have been forced to suffer. I guess all I can do is escape with my life….
She thought of the years she and Jiguro had spent on the run. To thwart Rogsam by escaping his clutches, to survive, was the only way to show defiance. What an insignificant life! A deep sadness rose inside her. Never to produce anything, never to create something, to live only to survive, like the rock mice that flee from the owl….
Just then she glimpsed a tiny flicker of light in the shadow of a boulder. A firefly? she wondered. But it was far too cold for fireflies, and they lived near water, not on the dry, craggy slopes. Suddenly it shot off, leaving a long trail of pale blue light in its wake. It bounced onto the top of one rock and then quickly flitted to another.
She recalled a story her mother had told her when she was very young. Never go up the rocks when the moon is bright. That’s when the Titi Lan, the Ermine Riders, go hunting. The Titi Lan are small but fierce. If you disrupt their hunt, they’ll curse you and you’ll lose your mind.
It can’t be, Balsa thought. Looking around, she noticed many other bright specks flitting here and there. She watched them intently, being careful not to give herself away. Ordinarily, it would have been too dark to see, but with the poison in her veins, the scene unfolded clearly, like something out of a dream.
A small ermine stood across from her on top of a rock. The light of the moon gleamed like frost on its smooth fur. On its back sat a tiny little man. In his right hand, he held a slender spear, and in his left, a long-handled light. The handle, she realized, was actually a stem with a flower dangling from the end. Something inside the blossom glowed with a soft blue light.
The ermine and its rider both lifted their faces and sniffed the air. Balsa prayed that they would not detect her scent. She saw them tense suddenly and watched as a beetle, drawn perhaps by the light, flew toward them. The little man’s spear pierced it faster than sight, but it was too big for him to handle. He struggled desperately to capture the flapping insect, which was almost half his size.
Balsa heard the beat of wings and glanced up. An owl was diving straight for the Titi Lan. Without pausing to think, she grabbed a small stone that lay beneath her hand and threw it at the owl. It missed, but the startled bird veered upward. Alerted by the flapping of its wings, the Titi Lan and his mount disappeared under the boulder in a flash.
Balsa heaved a sigh. Had that really happened, or was the poison making her hallucinate? By now, she was fairly sure she had a fever. Because she had sweated so much earlier, the chill of the night air pierced her all the more, and yet it would not do to light a fire. The cold was beginning to take its toll. She slid her back down the rock until she was lying on the ground.
She dozed off, then woke suddenly, sensing something in the darkness. Still, however, she felt no danger. Opening her eyes slowly, she saw in front of her a blue light … and a very small face.
A youth with white hair and red eyes was staring at her. He was so small, he could have fit inside her hand, but his face was perfectly proportioned. His clothes were made of grass fiber and insect wings. “Toh Lan, Big Hunter,” he greeted her in Kanbalese, in a voice that sounded like an insect chirping. Balsa blinked gently to show that she was listening, afraid that he would vanish if she spoke.
“Thank you for saving my life. Now Titi Lan will repay you by saving your life.” His eyes strayed to the cut on her shoulder and then back to her face. “That smells of togal, the poison that the Toh Kal, the Big Brothers, use to fight eagles. They have the antidote. I’ll bring them to you.”
Balsa shook her head slightly. In the quietest voice possible, she whispered, “I thank you for your kindness, but the Big Hunters are hunting me. Please don’t bring them.”
Titi Lan smiled. “I didn’t say that I would bring the Big Hunters. I said I would bring the Big Brothers.” He stepped back a few paces. Putting his fingers to his mouth, he whistled sharply. A similar whistle sounded from the shadows, followed by another, and then another farther away, as if a messenger was running ahead. Shortly after, she heard a whistle that was louder than those of the Titi Lan, and then several footsteps.
Through the haze of fever, she saw a face gazing at her. It belonged to an old man as small as a child. The Herder People, she thought. She remembered the young Herder boys with
whom she used to play and climb the mountains as a child.
She heard the old man say quietly, “Titi Lan, Ermine Rider, we came when we heard your whistle. But who’s this?”
“I don’t know,” the Titi Lan responded. “But she saved my life when I was attacked by an owl, so I wish to save hers. She has been poisoned with togal. She said she’s being hunted.”
Balsa felt a hand placed gently on her wound. “It smells of togal all right. And of iron. She must have been hit by a spear…. Chil Kal, Little Brother, we’ll take care of her. Go back to your hunt while the moon is still bright.”
“Many thanks, Toh Kal! Long may your goats thrive and leap on the mountains.”
His voice was the last thing Balsa remembered as she faded from consciousness.
She was once again twenty-four years old, and Jiguro was dying. His face had grown thin and gaunt, wasted by illness. She found the sight of him hard to bear. It seemed so unfair that this man, who had sacrificed so much for her, should now be tormented by disease. His eyes were closed, and she whispered fervently in his ear, “I promise you, I’ll atone for my father’s sin. I’ll save the lives of eight men to make up for what he did. Please, rest easy.”
He opened his eyes a crack and looked at Balsa. “It’s much harder to help people than to kill them,” he said. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Balsa.” A smile touched his lips. “I’ll sink beneath the Yusa mountains, the mother range, and atone for my sins myself.” Grasping his hand, she closed her eyes and clenched her teeth. Jiguro returned her grip.
“Balsa, I’ve been thinking while I was lying here dreaming. I’ve been asking myself whether I would have made a different choice at any point in my life.” She looked at him quickly and saw that his eyes were smiling. “And I came to the conclusion that I’d still choose the same path, even if I were given the chance to return to my youth and start all over again. I’ve always chosen the only road possible. So I have no regrets.”
He clasped her hand more tightly still. “My one concern is that I couldn’t set you free. I couldn’t erase my own shadow from your heart.”
Balsa put her other hand over his, wrapping it in both her hands. “That I will do myself.”
Jiguro’s smile deepened. “You’ve always had an anger that burned deep inside you. It’s helped you, yet it’s also been a curse. If you can just get through to the other side of that anger, you’ll be more at peace.”
Balsa dreamed again — this time that someone lifted her up and carried her underground. She heard many voices whispering and tasted bitter water. She swallowed, and as the liquid seeped through her, her body gradually relaxed.
Far into the night, when all was silent and cold, Balsa regained consciousness briefly. Between the rocks, she glimpsed the sky, pale blue with the dawn. As she gazed at it, she felt her mind grow clear and empty. Maybe it’s time to break through my anger. Instead of running from the owl’s talons, she would run up them, and sink her teeth into the owl’s neck. Only then would it understand the rock rat’s pain.
I have no noble reason. I just want to get even. That’s all. She smiled bitterly. She could see this now so clearly…. She would follow this meaningless but undeniable feeling to the very end and see what was on the other side.
She fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.
Rumors spread rapidly through the clan settlement that the chieftain’s son and the captain of the guard had returned badly wounded. The frightened clothes merchant terrified all the shopkeepers in the marketplace with his story of the fierce woman who defeated the two men. To prevent the tale from being embellished any further, Chief Kaguro called a gathering of the warriors.
As Kassa was of spear-bearing age, he was permitted to sit in the farthest corner of the great hall. Surrounded by the noise of the crowd, he looked for his cousin Kahm, but was startled when he finally caught sight of him. Although Kahm’s injury had been slight — just a few cracked ribs, now firmly supported by a wide leather belt — his face appeared haggard and his expression grim. To Kassa, he looked like a different person. Kaguro thumped the stone floor sharply with the butt of his spear and the crowd fell silent. His deep voice resonated throughout the room. “Clansmen. I have called you here today because, as I’m sure you’ve heard, an incident has occurred that seriously threatens the honor of our clan. Yuguro will tell you the details.”
Yuguro took a step forward. A shaft of sunlight shone through a narrow window and illuminated his figure. “My clansmen, a ghost has come back to haunt us. The ghost of one whom those over thirty will remember well, a man that I myself laid to rest with these two hands.” A low murmur ran through the hall. Kassa saw his father’s face tighten. “That’s right. The man that both the chieftain and I have been ashamed to call our brother, the wickedest man in Kanbal — Jiguro.”
He gave a small sigh. “I was only sixteen when Jiguro fled this country, stealing the gold rings that symbolize the bond between the royal family and the clans. My father had died of illness and my esteemed older brother had lost his right arm. If our family had not suffered these misfortunes, or if I had been a young man in my twenties, then the strongest youth of the other eight clans would not have died.
“Jiguro was very strong. I know this well, for I was the last to fight him. But his heart was rotten to the core. And so I didn’t hesitate to kill him, even though he was my own brother.”
A hush had fallen over the hall. Recalling those days when they had lived in shame, the older men remembered with renewed pride the triumphant young Yuguro returning as a hero. The younger men knew this story too, but it was their first time to hear it from his own mouth, and they listened with rapt attention.
“I never told anyone this before, but when I fought Jiguro, someone was watching us — a young woman of about twenty-two or twenty-three. I defeated Jiguro fairly and gave him the honor of dying in battle, but the young woman cursed me.”
Kahm felt a sharp pain in his side and rubbed a hand over his broken ribs. The words the woman had said as she swept back her sweat-drenched hair popped into his mind. Whether it’s a fair fight or not, honor makes no difference to the one who dies. Honor is nothing but an empty word to comfort the killer. Your uncle Jiguro knew that well.
“I merely did what was right. But women …” Yuguro smiled. “You can never tell what they’re thinking, if you know what I mean.”
The crowd laughed, but Kahm did not smile. The spearwoman he had faced was far removed from the picture his uncle was now painting.
“As I was saying, she cursed me. She vowed to make a fool of me and shame my honor. I paid no attention to these threats and completely forgot about her. But now we’ve found out that she has come to Kanbal. Tonno! Kassa!”
Kassa jumped when Yuguro suddenly called him forward. His father hastily beckoned him and together they went to stand by Yuguro’s side. Kassa was so nervous, he could not even remember how he made it to the front. He could see only row upon row of curious faces wondering what this was all about.
Yuguro placed a large, heavy hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure you all know Kassa’s younger sister, Gina, my niece. She’s a lot like my sister, a very brave girl.”
Laughter erupted from a group of Kassa’s friends.
“Apparently, Gina wished to show my son a thing or two, and she went into the caves to prove her courage. Her older brother, Kassa, went after her to save her. And there they met the woman I’ve been telling you about as she was making her way through the caves from New Yogo.”
Kassa was surprised. What Yuguro had said was true, but he had failed to mention the fact that they were attacked by the hyohlu and the woman had saved them. He had missed the most important part of the story…. Kassa opened his mouth to speak, but Yuguro’s hand tightened on his shoulder. He looked beseechingly at his father. Tonno just shook his head faintly.
“She told Kassa and Gina that she was on a journey of penance and asked them not to tell anyone. Now Kassa may be young, but he’s
a true Musa warrior. He saw danger in the fact that a stranger could be in the caves, and he came and told me immediately. I rewarded him and Tonno for providing such precious information. To prevent rumors from spreading, I told them to say they’d found a piece of lyokuhaku.”
Kassa was speechless with shock. He felt as though he were in a bad dream. Was this some carefully thought-out strategy that only adults could understand? Yuguro had spun his words cleverly, weaving the facts together to make a completely different story. Yet Kassa could not bring himself to correct him. The eyes of the crowd intimidated him, and if Yuguro did have some deeper plan, he might ruin it by speaking up.
“I’m very impressed with Kassa here. He may be small, but he’s brave and clever.” Yuguro smiled at him. Hesitantly, Kassa smiled back. When Yuguro gestured for him to return to his seat, he walked shakily through the crowd to the back. Men patted him on the shoulder, saying, “Well done,” but he could not respond.
“So once I discovered this woman had infiltrated Kanbal, I immediately sent Kahm and Dom after her. They did a superb job, quickly finding and capturing her where she was hiding in Yonsa territory. That was yesterday.”
Yuguro gestured for Kahm to come to his side. “As you all know, Kahm and Dom are both excellent spearmen. Well, Kahm is still a little young, but nevertheless, he’s close to being one of the best. So I had complete confidence that they could capture her.”
He sighed, looked at Kahm, and then looked back to the assembled men. “But this woman is as cunning as a wolf. When they arrived in the mountains, she fell off her horse on purpose and pretended to be wounded. Dom was dismounting to help her when she suddenly spooked the horses. He fell and broke his nose, while Kahm here cracked his ribs. Dom still tried to stop her, but she stabbed him in the shoulder with her spear. Then she fled into the mountains. Isn’t that right, Kahm?”
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