"Can you do me a favor? Will you check if Jessica has anything on her calendar?"
Susan moves the mouse to her computer and clicks it a few time.
"Not for the next hour. Have at her."
I turn and walk through Jessica's office door, knocking softly on the door frame.
"Do you have a minute?"
She glances up and gives me a curt nod.
"Yeah. Shut the door and come on in."
Jessica sits down in her chair and leans back. After I shut the door.
"Are you still mad at me?" I ask.
She shrugs, and stares down looking more ashamed than i have ever seen her before.
I feel my anger and resolve crumbling.
"I'm sorry. I was caught off guard, yesterday and last night. I want you to know that I didn't mean anything I said."
I press my lips together. Should i say what i really think, or sugarcoat it for her?
"Why tell me everything else, start a relationship with me, but cut me out of that, and act like I'm this horrible person for stopping you. Sometimes I feel like we're going somewhere but then I feel like I'm just the girl you're sleeping who happens to work for you." I swallow the anger that rises inside of me. I want to keep things calm between us.
"It's not a fling. We are not a fling or just a casual fuck. Haley, I care about you. I'm completely lost to you, but you have to understand I'm not used to having to consult anyone on anything. I've been alone for a long time." She closes her eyes and runs her fingers through her hair.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I have reasons for that, stop bringing it up like I'm the villain. I'm not."
"I'm aware of that, but..." I blow out a hot breath and force myself to calm down.
Before either of us can say anything more a knock at the door interrupts us. Susan sticks her head in.
"Sorry, Mr. Wayne is on the phone. He's in no mood to call back."
"I'll get it. Thanks, Susan."
Susan closes the door and Jessica looks back at me.
"We'll talk tonight."
"Alright." I want to push farther, but there is no reason to. She needs to answer the phone, and i need something cheesy or greasy to make life seem better.
I walk out of the office, and quietly close the door to find Susan watching me.
"Food?" She picks up her purse.
"Sounds good." I say.
Jessica ends up having to work late, and Angela picks me up from work. After we have dinner I go to bed. I wake up in the middle of the night to the soft touch of fingers rubbing my thigh. I jerk up to find Jessica in the bed behind me.
"Sorry. I was going to knock, but you were asleep and I realized how nice it would be to just come in and snuggle up behind you." She grins at me and continues to drag her fingers along my skin.
I drop back down on the bed and Jessica moves closer, pressing her erection against me. It surprises me so much I whimper and press back, as Jessica moves her hand up my leg, and over my hip and into my thin top.
She presses her lips to the side of my neck as she finds my breast. She drags her fingers back and forth over my breast teasing me.
I cup her hand over my breast and entwine my legs with hers. She is in jeans and a t-shirt from what I can tell, but her feet are bare. I rub mine against the soft skin of hers until she jerks her feet away from me.
"Damn, woman. My feet are ticklish."
She moves back and rolls me over, smiling down at me. I reach up and run my fingers through her thick black hair.
"We need to talk." I say.
With a groan she lays on her back and stares at the ceiling. Her breath catches in her throat, as she struggles with something internally. I'm about to tell her never mind, that we don't have to talk if she doesn't want to, but then she starts talking.
"I wanted him dead, the thought of him still breathing scares the shit out of me you have to understand that. When you stopped me yesterday I didn't know what else to do, but lash out at you. I realize now it wasn't right and I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Jessica." I say.
She takes a few deep breaths, and then some more, until she stops breathing all together for a few minutes.
"He used to like to play these games." She whispers. "Sometimes they were simple like truth or dare, other time's it would be something that I knew I could never win, but I would have to try or else I'd feel like I just asked for it, but even if I won he still did those things to me." She squeezes her eyes shut and I wonder if she's trying to hold back tears. "God, this is so fucking hard. Why is it so hard?"
I don't answer because I don't know if she's talking to me or herself.
"He would touch me, touch my..." She doesn't say it, but she gestures with her hand towards her area. "No matter how much I tried to stop it my body reacted to it every time. He would smile when it got hard. I tried so damn hard not to let it..."
She tucks her fingernails into her palms and clenches her hands into fist.
"Or he would make me touch myself, if I refused he'd take that damn knife out of his pocket. I have so many scars on my body because that knife. You know what really fucking sucks. Is that I just let him do all those things, was I that afraid of him?"
"You were just a kid." I tell her. "It wasn't your fault."
"So. I knew what he was doing was wrong, but I didn't do anything to try and stop it, because I was afraid of him...still am sometimes. I have trouble talking about everything he did, it was a lot more than just touching me, it was...He used to, well I mean...God, I sound like a fucking kid."
I hold her close to me.
"It's okay Jessica, you don't have to say anything more if you don't want to."
She doesn't, and I find myself getting tired again as the quiet continues and my eyes close.
I wake up again sometime during the
night, the room is dark. Jessica is not with me on the bed, or anywhere in the room. I get up, and search for her, hoping she hasn't left the house.
I find her standing outside on the back porch by the railings, looking out at the sky. I stand by the door, just looking at her. She still wearing her T-shirt and jeans, and the air is cold, but she doesn't seem to feel it. As I watch, she runs a hand through her hair, then leans forward on the railings, releasing a sigh as the muscles of her back flex with the movement.
I find myself wondering what she's thinking. There's something melancholy about her solitude, and I'm hesitant to disturb her, but almost as if she can feel me standing there, she turns around and straightens.
"You should be asleep." She says.
"So should you." There's a hint of tiredness in her eyes. "What are you doing out here?"
"Just thinking."
I join her at the railing.
"What about?"
When she doesn't answer I turn to look at her. She's looking straight ahead, her eyes focused on the darkness.
"When I was a kid, and my parents were fighting I used to come out here, and look at the sky. I always imagined being someone else."
"Are you imagining you were someone else now?" I ask.
"No. I'm thinking about how easy things would be right now if I had been born normal. My parents wouldn't have fought like they did, I never would have met Hoyt and we could have a normal relationship."
I move my hand slowly and grab hers, I don't want to frighten her by moving to fast. She seems to be in a far off place right now.
"If you were normal we may not have met, and I can't imagine going through life without ever having met you."
She's quiet again for a long time.
The wind moves, causing me to shiver slightly. Jessica notices.
"You're cold." She says. "Come on. Let's go back inside."
She puts her arms around me, her skin is warm, even though she's been standing out here for a long time. In the bedroom she pulls the covers back on the bed, and we lay down.
She wraps her arms around me and I snuggle as close to her as I can, an
d I close my eyes.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask, when she's quiet for far to long.
"You really want to know?"
I nod my head.
"I always do."
"I don't want to hurt you in this." She shakes her head. "I care too much about you to hurt you at all, but I feel like I'm always hurting you. Sometimes I feel it would be easier for you if you left me."
Pain slices through the center of my chest. It feels like she's trying to say she doesn't want to be with me.
My breathing becomes ragged. She puts her hand on my hip and squeezes lightly.
"Don't think for a second that I want you to go. I never want you to go. I want you here. With me… but I want you to be happy, if that makes any sense."
I consider what she said.
"I get what you're saying." I say. "But I don't agree with it. You're the only person who I have ever felt whole with."
"You don't know that." She keeps trying to push me away. "There could easily be other people out there."
I shake my head. "There's not and I don't want there to be."
"Haley." She says softly and places her hand on my cheek, rubbing it gently. "I'm not good for you. You deserve better."
"There's nothing better." I say quietly, staring at the foot of the bed, blinking back the tears. "You just need to realize that."
"I just want you to be free… from all my shit and my fucking complicated life."
"I don't want to be free. I don't care about your complicated life or your problems. I just want you… and I want you to be happy. You deserve to be to be happy. We'll figure this out Jessica."
"You are the most amazing person." She whispers. "You really are."
"So are you."
She doesn't say anything more and the steady rise and fall of her chest lures me to sleep. I feel it when she gets back up the loss of her warmth almost jerking me out of sleep. She doesn't return until it's getting light outside.
Chapter 16
Haley's point of view.
A few weeks later, when things seem to be going really well for us, Jessica goes out of town for some business meetings, and I notice a missed call from my father. I haven't heard from him since the day we went and got Jessica from California, and I wonder if Jessica's out of town business has something to do with Charles Hoyt. I listen to the voicemail
"Hi, honey." My father says gruffly. He sounds strange. "I, uh, was wondering if you would want to meet for lunch sometime this week. My treat, of course. Call me back. I love you."
My father hasn't taken me out to lunch for no apparent reason since I was in high school. Now I really do start to worry.
I sit and stare at my phone for a few minutes and then call him back, sort of relieved when it goes to voicemail. I tell him I can do lunch whenever he's available.
After I hang up I turn back to my computer screen and bury myself deep into work, so I don't worry as much.
I have lunch with Susan Jessica's secretary, she's become one my favorite people at work besides for Jessica, but today I haven't been up for conversation.
"We should really do lunch more often." Susan says as I hang up my phone for the fourth time trying to get ahold of Jessica.
"Absolutely." I say.
I glance at my phone again, hoping it'll ring.
"Do you think she's done with her meetings?" I ask.
"She should be, but she's been a little edgy the last few days, but you know we have our investment conference coming up. She's always a little moody this time of the year."
She stares at me with a silly grin on her face.
"Though she has been happier than normal lately." I try to ignore Susan's comment and not blush at the same time. Its nearly impossible.
My phone rings before I can say anything to her. I glance down hoping its Jessica. I answer it quickly when I see its my father.
"Hello." I say.
"Hey sweetie, why don't we do dinner tonight instead of lunch?" He says, he sounds rushed and that bothers me.
"Sure." I say.
We don't talk very long, and when I hang up I decide to enjoy lunch with Susan and figure out what's going on later.
I meet my father at an Italian restaurant down the street from my work. He's already there, looking awkward and uncomfortable when he rises to give me a hug.
He smiles at me.
"Hello, sweetie. You look nice."
I look down. I'm wearing a new suit that Jessica bought me.
"Thank you, you look good, too." I lean in for a quick hug. "You ready to order?"
He nods. "Do you have much time?"
"Yes." I smile.
"How have you been?" He asks, after we order.
"I've been okay." I eye him suspiciously. "What's going on, Dad? We've never done this, so we can't exactly pretend this is a normal thing."
"I know, I know." He sighs. "I didn't want to worry you with this, but I can't get Jessica to answer her phone. Two detectives came to my office last week questioning me about Charles Hoyt."
"What? Why?"
"They have an open case against him, and they noticed I've been looking into him."
"Can you get in trouble?"
"No, but I think Jessica can." He stops as our drinks are placed in front of us. "He's missing, and they know whatever it is that Jessica never told me."
"What did Harrison do with him?"
"Nothing that I know of, that's why I'm trying to get ahold of Jessica."
I grab my purse, and get my phone out. I look through my contacts until I find her name, and call her again. I set it down with a frustrated sigh.
"You have no idea why she's out of town right now?"
"No. Why?" He asks, concerned.
I shake my head.
"It's nothing, I was just wondering." I say. There's no point in concerning him when she really could be in meetings. "I'll have her get a hold of you."
He's smiles.
While we eat we talk about mom and our work. When I get home I try to call Jessica again with no answer.
The next day I spend it waiting on Jessica to call me back.
"We have a lot of things to go over be before the meeting with the investors." I look up when I hear Jessica's voice, she's standing in front of my desk with Melody. "I need you to make sure everything's in order so we can get the best deal. This is what's going to get the investors sold on the project."
Jessica looks at melody, her expression cool and indifferent.
"Send those emails, Ms. Connors" She hands melody a stack of files. "Keep these in your office till the meeting with the investors."
"Would you like me to take notes?"
"That won't be necessary." Jessica waves her hand. "I expect you to convert everything I record into a word processor."
Melody nods and then she walks towards her office.
Jessica turn towards me, and my breath catches at how good looking she is. She has the kind of looks women dream about having. Combined with her potent sexual magnetism, she's the stuff fantasies are made of. Right now though, she looks almost unapproachable. She has retreated behind that wall again.
"You look nice." She says with a smile.
"You don't look too bad yourself." I reply, inhaling the intoxicating scent of her perfume, mixed with the smell of her body wash and shampoo.
She grins. "I aim to please."
"And you never miss." I quip.
Her eyes hold mine.
"Not if I can help it. You ready?"
"Ready for what?" I ask.
"Did you not get my email?"
"No. What email?"
"Come on, Haley." She says, coming around my desk, and pulling me to my feet. She grabs my purse as she leads me out of my cubical.
"Where are we going?" I ask, when we are in the elevator.
She reaches over and strokes a hand over mine, making me look up to see her smiling at me. I feel a pull in my stomach, equal parts desire, longing, and another ache I can
't even identify. All the questions I have about where she's been and why she hasn't answered my calls evaporate.
"It's a surprise."
When we get into her car she turns the radio on pushes a button and I smile when country starts playing. Her mind seems far away as she looks straight ahead.
I reach for Jessica's hand as we drive through the city.
"Are you really not going to tell me where we are going?"
I hope it has little to do with the office or work, and more to do with us. So much of Jessica's persona was created due to her success, and a lot of our relationship is based on our work lives. Hopefully today is a different area of interest.
"To the harbor, I thought it might be nice to have a day out of the office It's supposed to be beautiful today, and I want time with you." She squeezes my hand.
"I've got a boat out there." She laughs. "What do you think? Food great company."
I smile at her, I love the sound of her laugh. She is breathtakingly gorgeous, but her personality only makes her more attractive.
She tugs her hand from mine and parks the car.
"You ready for a day of relaxation?"
"Yes. We both need this." I get out and walk around the car.
Jessica is in the backseat, getting a basket and a few other things out. I take the basket and hold it up.
"What's in here?"
"Wine, some fruits that I know you like, and..." She takes the basket and opens it, and tugs a handful of flowers from it, "...I got these for you."
"Oh, Jessica, I love them." I take them and lift them to my face. "You didn't have to do all of this."
"I wanted to. We've had a long couple of weeks, and getting away from the house and everyone seemed like a great way to focus a little more on each other."
She walk onto the small yacht and sets the basket down before turning and offering me a hand. I take her hand, and she helps me on, when she lets go I sit down on the closest seat I can find. She smirks before sitting down next to me. She slides her arm behind me and pulls me close, kissing the side of my face before touching my cheek and pulling me in for a long kiss.
I brake away a moment later.
"Jessica, I had dinner with my father last night he told me he had some detective's visit with him about Charles Hoyt, he thinks you could be in trouble."
The Billionaire Lesbian Page 7