I shut my eyes and summon up some courage.
"I think you're right." I say.
"Right about what?" She asks, searching my eyes for something.
"That it'll might make me feel better to help them put him in prison, but I'm worried what it might bring up though."
She runs her hand through my hair, smoothing it out of my face. "I'll be there for you, and so will your mother, you don't have to do this alone."
I'm wary and hesitant, my insides clench as I think about my family, and Haley hearing the inner workings of my screwed up head, but I know in order to do this everything has to come out.
"Okay." I say.
Chapter 19
Haley point of view.
I wake up with the knowledge that something is wrong. Rising from the bed, I start to look around the darkened room before realizing that it's Jessica who woke me up.
She's still asleep, but her muscles are tense and straining, her hands are curled into fists by her side. Her eyes are tightly closed, and she's moaning words in her sleep, the sounds barely comprehensible.
"No." She says, her head moving from side to side.
"No please, let me go."
I look up at her face, and it's drawn into a tight mixture of desperation and despair.
She makes another tortured sound, and I put my arms around her, and I pray for her nightmare to end. It finally does, her body relaxes as sleep takes over. I stay awake long after. Almost every night that we've slept in the same bed she's had nightmares it kills me to know she relives the vile awful things that man did to her night after night.
I finally fall asleep again.
When I wake again I'm alone, but the light coming from the window tells me it's morning. It's Saturday, so I don't rush to get up and ready for work.
I take a shower and then, search for Jessica. When I don't find her I stop in the kitchen where Angela is.
"Do you know where Jessica is?"
"Jessica and Tommy went to go do something, they didn't say where they were going."
I sit at the table and I watch Angela, taking a moment to really study her. There are dark circles under her eyes. There is definitely something weighing heavily on her mind.
"Are you okay, Angela?"
She sits across from me, and I notice her jaw twitch as she tries to figure out how to explain things to me.
"It's all this stuff with Jessica, I feel like I could have done something, I should have known."
"When did she tell you?"
She shifts uncomfortably.
"It was long after she stopped seeing him. I should have realized something wasn't right from the very beginning, she didn't act right, she was more moody and she didn't let anyone touch her. This was after she decided she didn't want reconstruction surgery, so she was taking those pills. I thought that's why she changed so much."
"What do you mean reconstruction surgery?" I ask.
"A couple of weeks after she was born they talked about reconstructing her genitals into female because they noticed she has ovaries, and a uterus. But I said no, I wanted Jessica to make that decision later in life, I had heard a few stories of doctors doing that and that person never feeling right in their body. I didn't want to take that away from her. Frank, her father wasn't very happy about that." She clears her throat. "Anyways when she decided to stay the way she is, they started her on steroids and growth hormones even testosterone, because it was smaller than a normal mans..." She trails off and runs her fingers through her hair, a gesture that reminds me a lot of Jessica.
"They wanted her to have full advantage later in life, and they said she would change a lot, and she did, but I thought it was the pills not what was really happening.
"Do they know why she was born the way she was?"
She shakes her head.
"No, they suspect a number of things, but they have no real explanation." She shrugs and sighs.
"You've really changed her Haley, I've never seen her so happy before
I smile because I don't know what else to say to her.
Jessica comes back a few hours later. She doesn't say anything to us as she comes into the kitchen.
"Where have you been?" Angela asks.
"Just out and about." Jessica replies.
I look at Jessica, she's avoiding eye contact with me. What did she do? Maybe it has something to do with last night. I hope not.
She leaves the kitchen minutes later, I stay behind waiting for her to come back. When she doesn't I follow her.
She's in my bedroom leaning against the desk looking at some papers
"Can I come in?" I ask.
"Sure." She says but doesn't look up at me.
"What are you working on?"
"Just some notes I took for a meeting that's coming up."
"Jessica, can I talk to you?"
Jessica looks at me, a flurry of emotions playing across her face before her unreadable mask slides back into place.
"I grab the chair from the desk and pull it around so there is nothing between us but air.
"Whats with the furniture arrangements?" Jessica asks, her eyebrows raised.
Thankfully, she doesn't move away.
"What did you do today?"
"Not much." She says, and I know she's lying to me.
Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out, she smiles when she reads it.
"Who's that?"
"Tommy." She says, and looks up at me.
"What did he say?"
She shrugs. "Nothing important really." She leans in to kiss me, but I place a hand on her solid chest and stop her.
"You're lying to me."
She gives me a mock offended look.
"Are you accusing me of lying?"
I narrow my eyes at her. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing. I know you're keeping something from me and I'm going to find out."
She looks completely entertained now.
"And how do you plan on doing that?" She shoots me a cocky grin.
"Wow, aren't we a little bit cocky today." I say, as I reach into my pocket. "But we'll see who's the cocky one after I text Tommy."
Her amusement suddenly shifts to worry as I pull out my phone. "Tommy knows he's not suppose to tell you."
I raise my phone up in front of us and wiggle it around.
"Tommy is terrible at keeping secrets. You and I both know that." I really don't have any intention of texting Tommy. I'm simply hoping she'll just tell me whatever her little secret is.
"Haley, don't." She warns.
"I'm totally doing it." I say then whirl around and try to get to the door.
But I I veer to the right and try to get to the other side of the bed when I know I can't get there before she catches me, but with the socks I'm wearing and the hard wood floors it makes it complicated to run on. My feet try to part ways from underneath me and my hands shoot out to my sides in an attempt to keep my balance. Right as I'm about to fall a set of strong arms wrap around my waist. A split second later, a warm chest presses against my back as I'm helped to my feet.
"You're really asking for it, aren't you?" Jessica whispers in my ear, dragging her teeth across the sensitive spot of flesh right below it as she helps me stand back upright.
"Maybe." I say
Her fingers dig into my flesh right below the hem of my t-shirt.
"I'll take your phone as payment for saving your cute little ass from falling."
I grip my phone in my hand.
"No way."
She chuckles lowly, a deep noise that vibrates from her chest and I have to bite down on my lip to keep from whimpering. "Okay, I guess we'll have to do this the hard way."
"Isn't this the hard way already?" I sound breathless.
She laughs again and then, without warning, her fingers sneak up my shirt and she starts to tickle me.
"Stop!" I shout through my laughter, my legs giving out on me. I almost buckle to the floor, but she's there to hold me up.
> "Fine! I surrender! I surrender!" I gasp through my laughter.
Her fingers instantly stop moving and she kisses the back of my head as she takes the phone from my hand then frees me from her arms.
I spin around and cross my arms over my chest. "That was cheating."
She grins proudly as she hides my phone in the pocket of her coat. "No way. That was completely fair. It's not my fault you're tiny and adorable." She pokes me in the ribs.
I glare at her, pretending I'm upset.
"If it wasn't for these socks I would have been able to run faster."
"Yeah, but I wasn't really running. Just walking swiftly." Shes so smug right now. I've never seen her act like this so confident. It's sexy and I can't help but jump onto her and kiss her. She doesn't hesitate, kissing me back with equal hunger.
Her phone starts going off in her pocket, and she breaks the kiss. I sigh, as she retrieves her phone. She reads the screen and then grins. Lacing our fingers together she tugs me toward the front door.
"Put your shoes on, I want to show you something." She says.
"Where are we?" I ask, when Jessica stops the car in front of some houses.
Jessica turns the car off, and looks over at me.
"It's a surprise."
I unfasten my seatbelt as Jessica grabs her door handle and pushes it open.
"Follow me." She says.
"What are we doing?" I ask.
She glances over her shoulder back down at me. "If you want to find out, you're going to have to follow me."
I follow her into one of the houses perplexed.
"Your surprise." She says, once we are inside.
I rub my lips together as i raise my brow at her.
"A house?" I say, with uncertainty.
"Yeah, I know you're looking for a place so I figured I'd help you out." She says, nonchalantly and shrugs when her gaze locks on mine. She brushes my hair out of my eyes.
"You have to say something Haley."
"You bought me a house?"
"Yeah, you don't have to worry about anything although you do have to sign some paperwork." She grabs some papers off the bar leading into the kitchen. "You should do it now. We can scan them and email them in."
She holds the papers out for me, but I don't take them. I just stand there, shocked, not understanding.
"Why did you do this?" I ask.
"I'm helping you." She says.
"You can't help me." I say.
This is to much. I can't have her in my life like this. I have to handle my problems on my own. I cant get used to relying on somebody else. I don't rely on my parents money, and I won't rely on hers.
"There's a reason I don't rely on my parents money Jessica. It makes me weak. Do you understand?"
She looks surprised and confused.
"No. I don't get it. If you take this house it doesn't make you weak. You're not relying on me to take care of your problems, you're letting me do something nice for you. Even if I had no money what so ever I would still do what I could for you."
I'm silent for what feels like forever, although her eyes never leave mine. It's like she's trying to read my mind or see into my soul or something. If anyone could, it'd be Jessica. I just wish I could do the same with her right now.
"I should probably do that paperwork." I finally say, and take it from her hands, she pulls out a pen from her pocket.
I start signing the documents.
"How much did you pay for this house?" I ask without looking up at her.
"It doesn't matter."
"Of course it does. You pay me weekly, just set up an amount every month and deduct it my checks."
"No, Haley. I won't."
Now I look up at her, my jaw clenching.
"You have to." I say. "I'm paying you back, Jessica."
"Do we have to argue about it right now?" She asks, as I finish signing the papers, and give them back to her.
"You have to promise that I can pay you back. Maybe not tomorrow or next month, but sometime soon. Otherwise, I'll feel like a user."
"Stop it." She says anger flashing through her. "You can pay me back, but under my conditions not yours. Understood?
Taking her by surprise, I hug her.
"Thank you, Jessica, thank you for trying to help me. You're a good person."
She lifts my chin in her hands, and I kisses me softly. "No, I'm not."
"You're wrong." I whisper. ""Lets go see the rest of it this house."
She threads our fingers together, beaming as she looks down at me.
"It's smaller than my apartment." Jessica says as she steps aside to let me enter the kitchen. "But I know you don't like big…" She trails off, ruffling her hair into place.
I take in the place that I could call home. The kitchen is attached to the dinning room, and the living room is just off the kitchen. There's a stair case in the living room that I assume leads to the bedrooms.
"So you're okay with it?" Jessica stuffs her hands into the pockets of her pants, appearing anxious.
"It's perfect."
"But I have to make sure, that you're okay with this house, I just want to make sure that this is the house that you want because I don't want you to feel pressured or anything to live here if you don't want to."
"I want this one." I say.
She smiles at me.
"You want to show me the bedroom?" I give her my best smile, and she looks a little confused until her eyes drink me in and she bites at her bottom lip hard.
"You're starting to get a dirty mind." Her smoldering gaze and husky voice sends warm tingles across my skin.
"It must be Tommy's influence on me." My voice is off pitch. "Sometimes, it's like he's still going through puberty."
Jessica shakes her head, laughing softly under her breath. "All right, no more talking. Let's go show you the bedroom."
We're about halfway across the living room before our lips connect my clothes start coming off. My shirt and pants are discarded, shoes are kicked off, and we end up leaving a trail of my clothing to the bedroom. It's a little chilly in here, but I don't care. Jessica can keep me warm, we sink to our knees on the tan carpet.
"We should do this every night." She says, unhooking my bra and pulling it off. "Only in a bed."
"No way. We should totally do it on the floor." I mutter between the kisses she's showering me with on my lips, the arch of my neck, the spot where my heart beats.
She mutters something else, but trails off as my fingers skim down her chest to the top of her pants. I hesitate before doing this, giving her a chance to pull away if she wants to. When she doesn't I undo the button, and I slip my hand into her boxers and she groans, biting at my skin.
"Haley …" The sound of my name in that raspy voice she uses covers my arms with goose bumps.
When I hear a door open and close from somewhere inside the house, we both freeze, panting for air as we kneel in the center of the room, our hands grasping at each other.
"Did you hear that?" I whisper, my eyes darting to the door.
Jessica nods, her lips parting, but she's cut off by the sound of a voice.
"Hello, lovebirds." Tommy calls out. "Are you in here?"
Jessica and mine's eyes widen at the same time. Then suddenly we're scrambling to find my clothes, but it's pointless since we left my shirt and pants somewhere between the living room and the staircase. My bra is nearby, though, so I get that on while Jessica does the button of her pants.
"What should we do?" I whisper. "My clothes are out there."
Jessica shrugs, still looking high on the moment. "Ask him to hand the clothes to us."
I wrap my arms around myself. "He'll make a lot of jokes." I warn.
"He's already going to make jokes." Jessica states, giving me a sexy half smile. "So we might as well go face the music."
"Knock, knock." Tommy says as he raps his hand on the shut bedroom door. "Oh, Haley, I found something that belongs to you, I think."
"Oh, leave her alone." Frankie says. Then the door cracks and he sticks his arm in with my clothes in his hand. "Here you go."
"Thanks, Frankie." I take my clothes, and start getting dressed. When I'm dressed, we go out together and face the music.
"What are you doing here?" Jessica ask as we walk into the living room.
Frankie's looking around at the kitchen and Tommy is observing the patio attached to the living room through a sliding glass door.
"I came to see how things went." Tommy says, turning to face us. "And to see if you guys wanted to go have dinner and celebrate." He takes in the sight of us, messy hair, my shirt is wrinkled, and Jessica's zipper is undone. "But I'm guessing it went well, considering how hot and bothered you two look right now, thanks to my interruption." He flashes us an unapologetic grin.
"We can go." Frankie tells us grabbing Tommy's arm and pulling him toward the door. Frankie's always been the more level headed of the two and tries to keep Tommy intact when he can. "In fact, we should go and give you two some privacy."
"No, it's okay. We were finished anyway." I don't mean for it to come out how it sounded and I feel a little embarrassed.
"You were?" Jessica cocks an eyebrow. "Because I wasn't."
My embarrassment doubles and I playfully swat her arm, hoping it'll divert everyone's attention from my blushing.
"It's okay. We can go get dinner." Jessica says through her chuckles then her gaze fastens on mine. "We can finish later."
All three of them laugh and I should get even more embarrassed, but I find myself calmer than anything. Because this is what life is about. Moments like these.
Right now, everything is perfect.
Chapter 20
Jessica's point of view.
"Ready for this?" I ask, and look out the window as the car stops in front of the Boston police department Monday morning.
"Yes. Are you ready, is the question." Haley says, and squeezes my hand.
"Not really, but if it means that I never have to come back, then, yes, I can't fucking wait." I get out and hold the door for her.
When we go in I'm not sure what to do, and I'm glad Frankie informed them we were coming when detective Crowe approaches us. He glances at me.
"Ms. Roven."
"Detective." I nod but don't say anything else.
The Billionaire Lesbian Page 10