Theo Benjamin Isles-Roven aside from Haley is the absolute best thing in my life.
"Are you hungry?" I gently pick him up and cradle his tiny body against me, resting his head under my chin. I kiss his cheeks as I lay him on the changing table. "Let's get you changed, Momma's waiting for you."
With a quickness I don't know I possess, I change his diaper before he realizes he hasn't been fed yet. I hold him in one arm, gently swaying him back to our bedroom. It's amazing how the two loves of my life fit in my arms so differently, yet so perfect.
When I walk in, Haley is on her side, and her eyes are closed. I watch her for a minute, her breaths are slow and steady, and I realize she has fallen back to sleep.
I still question everyday how I got so lucky to be with the most beautiful, kind, loving woman in the world. I'm not sure how long I stand there, but Theo starts squirming around and starts to cry. I try to calm him, walking towards the kitchen. Laughter escapes me when I realize i'm bouncing with every step.
"It's okay, little man. You're hungry aren't you?" He slept for almost four hours straight, which is something he hasn't done before.
"Let's get you a bottle."
I warm the water and add formula, testing the temperature on my wrist. He starts crying louder. I walk back to his room and lay him in my arm, and hold the bottle in my opposite hand, and him close in the rocking chair. When his eyes start to close, I take the opportunity to rest mine. Once he falls asleep, I wipe the formula from his chin before carefully laying him back in his crib. Leaning down, I kiss his cheek.
"Be good for you momma. Love you." I whisper.
I tiptoe out of his room and stand outside the door for a minute making sure he's really asleep. I quietly slip into the master bathroom and take a shower. After I get dressed, I look at the clock and curse under my breath. Hating to wake Haley up but knowing I can't leave without saying goodbye, I sit on the edge of the bed next to her and brush some hair off her face.
"Hey, I've gotta go." She stirs and without opening her eyes, leans up and gives me a crappy kiss, before plopping her head down and rolling over. I laugh and roll her back over, and kiss her again and rest my forehead on hers.
"I'll miss you." I say.
"You too."
She rolls back over, and I pull the covers up. As I reach the door, she calls for me. I turn around.
"I love you." she says.
"I love you too."
Harrison drives me to my destination. I stare out the window nervous as the seconds tick by. As we pull up to one of the entrances of the concrete, grey stoned hospital, I just sit in the back seat and when he parks I look up at him as he looks back at me through the rear view mirror. "I don't know if I should do this."
"You've come all this way." He murmurs quietly. "You can do this."
I nod, and step out of the car, Harrison who usually doesn't follow me in anywhere gets out with me, and walks beside me.
I go to reception and ask for my father's room. When we find room 308 I let out a shaky breath.
"Ready?" Harrison asks.
As i'll ever be I think, and nod. Harrison opens the door and gestures for me to walk inside. He accompanies me, standing by the wall his gaze never wavering.
My father's gaze, watery and sad, locks with mine, and I walk slowly over to the bed.
"Hi." I say, having a hard time finding my voice.
"Hi, princess."
I flinch at the childhood name I haven't heard in what feels like forever. Not since before he started drinking.
He breathes shallowly as he gathers his strength.
"Thank you for coming."
I manage a nod. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to come around."
His lips thin into a line. "It's nothing more or less than what I deserve, for what I did, not just to your mother but for what I did to you."
My throat is too full to speak, so I merely shake my head, gathering my composure and ability to talk. I clear my throat. "You don't…" I swallow hard. "I forgive you." I say, knowing it's true.
"Janie, I…"
"No. Don't say anything. Please." I don't want to hear it. I don't want to relive anything or remember the past. "Let forgiveness be enough."
I reach out for his worn, leathery hand. Sadness fills me, but oddly I don't feel the loss the way I thought I would. I've already grieved, mourned, lived with the emptiness my entire life.
"Thank you." He says.
I nod, not letting go. I sit with him until he falls asleep, then watch him for a while more. Finally I rise to my feet. And with one last glance, I leave and head home to my wife, and our son. With the knowledge that I can be happy, my childhood will not ruin the best part of my life, because I won't let it.
The End.
AN- I just want to say this before I get into anything else. If you have ever been abused maybe it was emotionally or physically or sexually, whatever the case might be, do not let it ruin your life or dominate a huge portion of it. I'm not telling you to forget it cause that'll never happen, but try your damndest to overcome it. I'm saying all this because I let my childhood ruin a good amount of my life, and I regret that with everything in me, because in doing that I let the man who destroyed my childhood also destroy the good things in my life, and I always wondered if that meant he won the game? But it's never too late to hit replay.
Moving passed that, I want to thank everyone who reviewed this story, you guys really motivated me to keep going with it, and I appreciate all your kind and sweets words. And I am thinking about a sequel, but I make no promises.
And last but not least to the guest reviewer who never wanted me to finish this story I am so sorry I hope you stay sane, just message me and I can send you a whole list of things I wrote for this story but never used. Lol
Anyways this had been so much fun, and I hope to do it again soon.
The Billionaire Lesbian Page 18