I shake my head, ready with another insult, but say instead, “Whatever. You’re not even worth it.”
Her jaw works. It takes her a moment to speak and when she does, her voice is shrill. “You’re evil. You are the most dishonorable being I’ve ever met. I wish that the Great Ocean of the After drowns you and your whole filthy human colony!”
Yes. Good. Hate is good. I inhale, letting it fill me up like a cistern in the rain. Hate I understand. Hate is easier. Hate is all I have to my name. “You can go fuck yourself. Why are you even here anyways?”
She scoffs in disgust. “You heard what Hurr said. The Okkari organized the Mountain Run for you. Tales of the great warrior Xhea have been spreading for solars. The one who fought khrui. Who helped the Rakukanna escape her Raku in this strange human ritual where you ugly females fight the males instead of accepting the Xiveri bonds the goddess Xana has so generously gifted you. He claimed you. He thinks you’re his Xiveri mate and he has named me hasheba. A disgrace.”
Her voice rises. “I have known the Okkari since we were kits. I watched him swing his first sword. I was there when the Dra’Kesh invaded, seeking to claim Nobu females. I was there when the Okkari before him fell and he rose up to take command of our warriors to fight the brutes off even though he was hardly grown. I stood beside him at that chamar and laid down the second to the last stone,” she says, colors flaring in her brow — some grey, some blue — before her gaze flicks again to me and the colors dim, becoming less vibrant.
“I even know his slave name, the name given to him as a kit.” There is implication in her tone and I hate that I feel myself rise to it. I grip the edges of the tub to remain where I am and my toes all curl. What is a slave name? What is a chamar? A Dra’Kesh invasion? These beings suffered at the hands of the Dra’Kesh too?
I bite my lips together and hate the way her expression twists. She can see me and knows that she’s gotten under my skin. “You don’t even know it, do you? You’re his Xiveri mate and you don’t even know his true name. Does he know yours?”
Yes, because he called me Kiki on the mountain and I loved hearing my name in his voice. “No. And he doesn’t need to. I don’t need to know his either. You can have him.” Over my dead fucking body. I jerk, startled at the onslaught of that particular emotion. I can’t be jealous. I don’t even know his name, the one given to him as a boy.
“I’m not his anything. Not his ziv-air-ee or whatever you want to call it. I’m not the szhay-uh of anything.” Watching her face, I grip the edges of the tub so hard my knuckles lighten.
Something in my tone — more so than my bad pronunciation — must give her pause, because she uncrosses her arms and stares at me now with unblinking eyes, slack-jawed and in a way that’s totally and utterly human. “You…you do not feel…”
“No. I don’t feel anything.” Does she hear that my voice is higher pitched than it had been? “I just want to know where my friends are and how I can get to them. But I need to escape first.”
“You would escape the Okkari?”
“Yes.” I lick my lips, the rich taste of the water reminding me of something I cannot place. “And if you help me, I’ll be gone from here forever.”
When she hesitates, I bark out a laugh and the sound is a horrible, tortured thing. I never used to laugh like this. “Whatever you’re talking about with humans fighting in a ritual — it’s a lie. We fight because we don’t want to mate with you stupid, alien fucks. We just want to be left alone in peace on our colony.
“Instead, I was transported without my consent off-colony and dragged up onto the top of a freezing cold mountain where I had to fight for my life in order to escape a male who I’d never met before wanting to hunt me down and fuck me. And that’s exactly what happened. He hunted. I fought. I lost. We fucked. And now I want to go home.”
The bitch fires back, “The Xanaxana reveals itself in pairs, demanding that they breed. It is nature’s way of helping us ensure the continuity of our species, since kits these days are so rare. Even our stoic Okkari speaks of it at length — he says that he knew you were his from the moment he saw you on the filthy little moon you humans occupy.”
That makes me start. He was there? I’d been so focused on the evil red one that I don’t remember seeing him. Knowing he’d seen me and that he’d recognized me and felt something for me then makes my stomach flutter. If the Hunt had happened, he would have come for me.
“In the tales he tells, he had every intention of participating in the Dra’Kesh version of your Hunt to claim you — to fight Bo’Raku even, for he knew that Bo’Raku wanted you too. However, he left with the Raku when Raku was unable to claim his own Xiveri mate.
“One rotation later, he brought you back to Nobu to participate in the Run on the Mountain to honor you. He paid more credits than the entire wealth of Voraxia’s smaller planets for the merillian you so casually bathed in after you fought khrui monsters on your human colony and yet you show him scorn. Do you have a surplus of merillian on your human colony? Do you have healers who could have done a better job?”
She’s red again and advancing on me now and I’m ready to fight. Trying to be ready. Trying not to be made to feel so small. She says words I don’t understand and others that I do. Bo’Raku. Does she know him? Bo’Raku. Okkari wanted to fight him? I shudder, wishing something strange. Wishing something terrible — that the Hunt had happened one rotation ago, just so I could have seen that battle. So I could have seen the Okkari shred my tormentor to pieces. Purple beats red. Maybe I could have gotten away in the aftermath. But would I have wanted to? He called me warrior. He called me Kiki. And even back then when I didn’t notice him, he knew.
She balks, “I do not pretend to understand you, but for the Okkari’s sake I will help you escape from here. He deserves better.”
The words sting like a slap in the face and I hate that I break her gaze first. Breathing in and out heavily, I say, “I never asked for him.”
“The Xanaxana does not ask for permission. But if you choose to turn your back on it, perhaps it can be undone. Perhaps Xana will choose another for his Xaneru, for his spirit. Someone more worthy of a male of his caliber.”
To this, I scoff. “Let me guess. Someone like you?”
“Of course. I have tried many times to win the Okkari’s affections.” Her lips pucker at that. “He has resisted, and though I would have liked to have been his first and only female, I will content myself knowing that I am his last.”
A balloon expands in my stomach, coming to fill my chest. I freeze for an instant and don’t breathe, but words I do not dare speak, squeeze out of me, “What do you mean his first female? Surely he’s had many if he’s the leader of this place.” And since he knew exactly what to do to please me.
She makes a clicking sound in the back of her throat and comes to the edge of the tub where she settles onto her knees. “He is an honorable male and would take no females unless they revealed themselves to be his Xiveri mate. And yet, all of that waiting was wasted on you. Now hold still.”
She picks up some sort of comb, one that looks like it’s made out of bone, and lifts a clump of my hair. She teases the bone through it slowly and as she works, she drops her pitch and says, “You cannot escape now. The Xanaxana mating has not yet been completed and the Okkari will hunt for you until it is. You will need to mate with him and complete the Xanaxana union. Then, when he is at peace, you will leave his nest and take the hall to the left. Where you reach its end, I will be waiting. I will show you the way to the transport pods and then you will be gone from here…”
I nod, mute, hardly hearing what she’s said. Because all I can think about is the fact that I took his virginity. He said something about firsts on the mountain top, but I didn’t understand. Or maybe I just didn’t want to. Because knowing that he waited his whole life to give his virginity to the one he thinks is his true mate — and then gave it to me — burns.
I took his virginity with hate in my h
eart and have every intention of betraying him. Then maybe I will have something in common with him after all. His first time will be also be ruined by an alien. And unlike in my case, it’s a moment he won’t get back.
7
Kinan
I approach the door to my nest — our nest — clean, wounds tended, the Xanaxana firing through me in intervals as rapid as the infant water skubbs enjoying their first thaw. The hasheba wait, as commanded, in the corridor, their faces illuminated by the ioni in the walls. Kuana’s head is bowed, nobly, while Kuaku meets my gaze, boldly.
Inviting these two to be hasheba was a move atypical of an Okkari — normally, the Xhea would select her own — but as she does not know our customs or the members of this tribe, I made this selection for her. Kuana appears to have been a good choice, while Kuaku has behaved in a manner that has been somewhat difficult to interpret thus far. If she does not improve, I will need to remove her.
“Your report on the wellbeing of my Xiveri mate, hasheba,” I say in a low tone, not wishing for my Xhea in the next room to hear us.
Kuana bows more deeply then, honoring herself, before rising to stand. “She is well, Okkari. The healing salts have already done wonders for the wounds on her forearms, the few that she had. I have placed bandages on your table. She waits for you there.” Kuana makes a pleased expression, a display of emotion I would not tolerate from one of my warriors, but here and now from a hasheba, I feel my own expression threatening to mirror hers.
“You have done well.”
Her ridges bathe in an orange glow, her pride well deserved. I fix my attentions on Kuaku then, who quickly averts her gaze. Petulant as a child, as she always has been. “You will tell me if you have anything to add, Kuaku.”
Her ridges betray no color, but there is a tightening in her jaw that I will need to address. Not now. Certainly not now with the Xanaxana hanging over me like a threat. All I desire is to forget formalities and forsake restraint and go to her. My title be damned. I am Kinan for her anyways. Always.
“I have nothing I wish to add.”
“Xhivey.”
I start past her, but she jerks and says, “She did express some degree of emotion when I told her that you had not been with a female before. I believe the emotion may have been one of dismay. She spoke highly of human males who had been with many females prior to finding their Xiveri mates.”
I stiffen. My gut sinks and my spine arches back. My fingers form fists but I flex them and attempt to ease control back into my muscles. “You will tell me why you spoke of this with her,” I say in a growl, tone dark and intentionally obliterating.
“The human asked me questions about Voraxian couplings and male anatomy. I believe she found ours strange.”
Rage. Doubt. I feel my ridges threaten emotion but reign it in. “You dare address her as such. You are hasheba…”
“Apologies, Okkari, but she asked us not to address her as Xhea or Va’Rakukanna. She wished to be addressed as human. I believe she views herself above us.”
Doubt swells even greater. I switch my gaze to Kuana. “You will confirm whether or not this is true.”
Kuana’s mouth opens. She meets my gaze with difficulty. “I was absent for a time, fetching the combs you provided, so I did not hear this conversation.” Xhivey. I exhale, allowing myself to believe that Kuaku manufactured or exaggerated this.
Then little Kuana severs such a hope cleanly. “However, she did ask me not to refer to her as Xhea or Va’Rakukanna. She wished to be addressed as human. I do not know why.”
Sorrow. I feel shame but I do not show it. Have I failed her in some way? The sibilant hiss of a serpent could not sway me more into disbelieving in myself. I am Kinan. I am a weak boy who watched the Okkari before me slain.
“You are dismissed.”
They bow and I watch them until they disappear down the hall, taking calming breaths. They have little impact. When I turn towards the door, I am a cacophony of emotion unbecoming for a warrior and even less honorable for a leader of this federation. I feel helpless and weak in the face of a threat to my union that I do not know how to fix. I will need to be straightforward and confront her.
Clenching my jaw, I start forward, the sensors opening the door before me. The room is not large, but intimate. A cave with ioni slithering across the walls. As such, my eyes are drawn to her instantly and the threats of inadequacy I felt before are reinforced.
I have never seen anything more lovely and I feel but a pion, worshipping at an altar. Drawn forward by her to her, I wade into the space, sucked into the cavern of her gaze, which is harsh and unyielding. A warrior yes, but there is also something vulnerable in her human expression as she sees me. I wish I knew more about these humans and how to interpret their facial cues and ticks.
Her full mouth pillows fall open and she releases a small exhale that sounds like pleasure. But perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps this is the dismay Kuaku spoke of. Meanwhile, the sight of her is enough to make me shake. Entirely bare now and free of the mire she fought through, her skin shimmers. She is ioni, brought to life.
A dark jewel harvested from the depths of Nobu’s deepest oceans, calling it brown would not be doing it justice, for the outer shell may be made of eons’-compressed earth, but the inner contains small mites that burrow down beneath the layers of compressed screa sediment.
Inside, they glow, becoming brighter and brighter in color until the dark brown becomes amber and then gold before they burst. The mites, fat from the minerals contained in the stone, move on to the next until they too dissolve to dust, made brilliant by their own glutton, but also ruined by it.
My Xhea’s gaze rakes over my own body, traveling from face across my chest and abdomen to the covering I wear over my xora. I remove it and she gasps again. In pleasure? Or in dismay. I do not know and not knowing wrecks me, but as honor dictates, I allow her to look upon her Xiveri mate unencumbered by clothing, just as I look upon her.
My xora is stiff and unyielding, small tendrils of color illuminating it that I can no longer control. I am a calculating male, yet I am nothing but raw emotion before her. Deep indigo desire, blue pleasure, canary uncertainty, a darker shame. Her eyes are round again and she stares at my member unflinchingly. She seems uncertain. Perhaps dismay then.
I move forward and take the seat placed before hers at the small wooden table, medical equipment dutifully laid across it by the hasheba. They were correct in their assessment. As I take her right forearm and begin applying salve, I can already see that her cuts have begun to heal.
As I work, I feel her fidget. Her thighs clench together, knees hugging one another so tightly I cannot help but wonder if she does this to assuage the need coursing through her, or if she attempts to conceal herself from my gaze. I glance again to the thatch of hair between her thighs and inhale the faint scent of her arousal before looking to her face.
She starts and looks away quickly and I feel myself heat. Dismayed. Dismayed with her Xiveri mate. “We will not breed on this solar,” I say before I can sensor myself.
She jerks at the sound of my voice, flinching back. I wonder if she does not attempt to retract her arm from my grasp or if it is merely an involuntary response. I cannot be certain. I am certain of nothing.
“What? Why not?”
I am startled by the sound of her voice. It is so pleasing. Deep for a female, and throaty. I glance at her mouth and a scandalous vision assaults me. Her mouth on my xora, sucking it into her as she stares up at me, wet gaze full of wanting. Full with a desire to please me.
“I have been informed that my performance in the Run on the Mountain was not to your satisfaction. I will need to first inform myself of how to please a human female before I again attempt to breed you. If I feel pleasure, then so too should you. And I did feel pleasure.” I meet her gaze and press my meaning onto her, willing her to see this truth. “My first rutting with you was paradise.”
As I wrap another layer of gauze around her right fo
rearm, she stares at me unseeingly, as if caught in a dream. Her lips mouth a single word, too quiet even to be considered a whisper. “Paradise.”
Clearing my throat, I speak when she does not. “I will leave you then, unless you would debase yourself by informing me how you would like to receive pleasure in the human way, and describing to me how human males are able to deliver it to their females.” The request is both selfish and humiliating, but it is what will allow me to expedite this process and remain close to her.
She blinks quickly and glances down at her bandaged forearms, then shakes her head. “Yes. I…I mean no.” Dismayed again. “No, I liked the mountain. I mean, being with you up there. And we need to do this now. I mean, don’t we? For the zah-nah-zah-nah?”
I cannot help but be pleased by the human lilt she gives our language, unable to make the clicking sounds herself. She will need to learn. But there is time for that. For now, I would like to take my time with her.
“I do not wish to displease you and I am aware that my anatomy differs greatly to that of a human male’s.”
“No, we need to do this now,” she says with some force. Her gaze is shifty. She shakes her head again. I wonder if it is the Xanaxana again confusing her. If so, I need to know the truth. I will not allow her to be blinded by it.
Leaning forward on my stool, I cup her chin with one of my hands. I see her chest inflate as she breathes a little harder, a little faster. I can smell the scent of her miaba arousal, thickening in the air. “You will tell me why you told Kuaku that you did not enjoy our first mating. You will tell me why you asked the hasheba to call you human, Kiki.”
She starts at the sound of her own name, the small black dot in the center of her eyes widening until it consumes almost all of the color. “I didn’t. I mean, I didn’t tell her that I didn’t enjoy the mating.” She licks her lips. “And I don’t understand the titles. We don’t use them back home.”
Taken to Nobu: A SciFi Alien Romance (Xiveri Mates Book II) Page 7