I am completely stalled by his offer. Nervous-bordering-on-mortified. I do want to do those things. I do want to apologize to the families of the aliens who gave their lives to me, that’s what I told Svera. She must have told him. They’ve been speaking? I hate that. And not for the right reasons. It’s not because he’s an alien and she’s talking to him behind my back. It’s because he’s my alien.
He’s mine. He once called me his. But that was before I ruined everything and got his people killed. Why would he still think that?
I glance past the broad beast of a male, but am unable to see anything of the Okkari’s office. “Is the Okkari there?”
“He is, but he has duties to attend to. There is much to be done before the first icefall sees its end. Organizing the preparation of the hevarr that was slain, repairing the grain stores damaged in the storm, continuing warrior training. He also has the chamar to organize on behalf of Re’Okkari.”
“Chamar?”
“In honor of his death, we will celebrate his life. On your human moon, do you also carry such a tradition?”
I jerk back as if struck, then nod slightly.
Ka’Okkari gives me a small bow and I feel rattled at the sympathy he emanates. “Fear not, Xhea. It is understood that you were without induction into our culture and that you suffered in the past.” What does he know of my past? Panic grips me.
“I am not here to torment you, and I assure you that the Okkari is not either. We are here to protect you. And it is only on Re’Okkari’s honor that he should meet Xana knowing he has done all he can to protect you, and to protect the tribe. The hevarr will make it possible for us to survive the impending icefalls well. It is a rare day that hunters are afforded the opportunity to take on such a worthy opponent and live to tell the tales. I am sure songs are being written of Re’Okkari as we speak. He will receive a warrior’s rest in the Great Ocean.”
His words make my insides cramp and I have to hold onto the wall behind me hard otherwise I feel like I might die. I blink rapidly and say in strangled notes, “Alright, I’ll go…I mean, I’d like to go…honor them. Let me just get dressed.” I turn and find Kuana standing in front of my door, already holding a heavy fur-lined jumpsuit out for me.
“I thought you might need it,” she offers in this timid, heartbreaking way that only heightens my agony. These beings aren’t like the Dra’Kesh. They aren’t even like the humans. Humans are mean, nasty little things. And since I’ve been made by humans, and reshaped by the Dra’Kesh, what does that make me?
I hastily pull on the jump suit and the additional fur pelt that Kuana gives me and follow her to the front door where Ka’Okkari waits wearing a small smile. I notice that his skin is bluer and darker than the Okkari’s, his face not quite so angular, giving it a softer slant. I don’t know why, but I’m not afraid of him like I thought I’d be. I feel no urge to fight.
“The temperatures have risen just enough this solar for this weather to be safe. Still, coming from your desertous moon colony, I imagine the icefall will still be bracing. Are you ready, Xhea?”
I nod, surprised again that he could know so much about my colony and say, “Yes.”
“Xhivey,” he replies before opening the front door to a world of white. “Brace yourself.”
I follow him down the black stone steps, surprised to note that they’re the only things out here that aren’t white and cold. The cold white is coming down heavier now, flakes bigger than my face, even if they are flat like bark. Their size and ceaselessness makes it hard to see more than one house away. Luckily, we don’t travel far before we arrive at a dwelling carved into the same stone mountain as the Okkari’s.
It has a glass-plated front, but being further down the mountain, it lacks the same impressive view of the village that the Okkari’s house has. Stuck deeper into the mountain, I’m not surprised to find that most of the house is black stone, rather than white when I step inside into the warmth. And it is warm. Warm and welcoming with a distinctly feminine touch.
Where the Okkari’s home is all white and black everything, this house has rich red tapestries woven through with gold scattered across the dark rock floor. Lush green plants that seem as if they’d grow only in much warmer climates sit on stone daises, hang from the ceiling in large black rock basins or seem content to merely lick their way directly up the walls.
As I take a step further into the room and the doors shut behind me, I can’t help but be drawn to a whole shelf that’s just full of holo images trapped in pink and green and beige frames. In every one is smiling face. A smiling alien face.
Sometimes in snowy environments, some in ones more lush and green, some inside buildings, some with other aliens, but in all of them are the same two aliens — Va’El and a female — and in all of the images they look incandescently happy.
“We are honored to receive you, Xhea,” a female voice says and I tear my gaze away from the holographs and refocus on the female alien by the fire pit who’s holding Va’El’s hand. The female from the pictures. The sight of them sitting there so obviously in love with one another makes my chest sting. I rub the space above my heart with the heel of my hand even though it does nothing to dispel the sensation.
Va’El is sprawled out on a divan, his leg propped up on a stack of plush furry pillows. Even though his leg was broken in three places and acid from the hevarr venom chewed through a lot of the muscle in his calf, he’s still smiling. His guiless contentment makes me wonder how it can be that in a house full of aliens, the person I hate the most in that moment is me.
“I just…” Stop sounding like outer dome trash and speak. I try to hone my inner Svera and inhale deeply. I exhale just as deep. “It is I who is honored,” I say finally, though it takes some will. Some force. It’s the first kind thing I’ve said to any of them and it hurts, but only because it feels so good.
Va’El and his female exchange a look. She seems slightly amused, but inclines her head nonetheless. “It is gracious of you, Xhea.”
“Most gracious,” Va’El echoes.
When I don’t continue, and they don’t either, I feel heat rise in my cheeks. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say to these people. To these aliens, I mean…No, to these honorable beings. “I um…” Stuttering fool. “What you did, Va’El, it was really brave.” Idiot.
“It was my duty, Xhea. An honor. And if my own Xiveri mate had been in the same position, I’d have counted on the Okkari to do the same.”
That surprises me, and I feel the heat in my cheeks hold. “You two are Xiveri mates?”
“Hexa,” Va’El says and his ridges suddenly pop with radiant colors. They remind me of the Okkari’s ridges and the way he looks at his woman reminds me of the way the Okkari looks at me sometimes. Used to look. Now he doesn’t want to see me. “Tre’Hurr and I discovered our bond during a Run on the Mountain between our tribe and a neighboring one. Two rotations ago, it was one of the largest runs we’ve seen yet.”
The alien — Tre’Hurr — beams. “Hexa, we are most blessed by Xana and Xaneru to have found one another. We hear that you and the Okkari are also blessed. I must say that I find it even more remarkable that Xana and Xaneru would have placed you in each other’s paths from so far away. Even if the circumstances that brought you two together were most unfortunate. I grieve for your human females.”
“Dra’Kesh muxung,” Va’El spits, before his ridges radiate a soft yellow, scattered amidst a much deeper red. “Apologies, Xhea. It is simply too unforgivable not to want to speak on the subject.”
“You…you know about our Hunt?”
“We know that the matings were forced, hexa,” Va’El says.
“And how the human females’ lives were forfeit unless unborn hybrid kits were discarded.” Tre’Hurr makes a trilling sound in the back of her throat while her ridges beam grey. I wonder if grey then doesn’t mean grief, for I see it echoed in the ridges of many of the aliens in the room. All of the aliens.
&nb
sp; A stone lodges in my throat then, making it hard to speak. I blink many times, hoping to keep the emotion from my tone. They grieve for us. “How do you know all this?”
“We have received the first broadcasts from the human advisor to the Rakukanna — Shuh-vair-ax,” she says, mispronouncing the name so badly I can’t help the twitch to my lips. “They are very detailed reports on human culture and recent history. The Okkari requested the information be disseminated across all of Nobu so that we may better understand our Xhea. He has also informed us that you were not immune to the unfair pact created between your human council and the Dra’Kesh,” Tre’Hurr says softly, stunning me. They know. They all know about Bo’Raku and what he did to me.
“How…he had no right to share that information,” I rasp, air punching out of me.
Va’El makes a face, something like a frown but it’s filled with so genuine a sympathy, my anger falls away as quickly as it came. “It is important that this information is shared, so that the perpetrators may be condemned and so that your courage and resilience may be known. It is a brave female who continues to fight, as you do, after such a dishonor — his, certainly, not yours.”
“It’s…embarrassing,” I wheeze.
I don’t need to speak color to know that shock is the sentiment echoed around the room. “Embarrassing? Nox, my Xhea. Forgive us, but here on Nobu what you have faced only increases your honor and the respect we feel for you. To have a Xhea who has fought battles and survived horrors. It is truly an honor to welcome you, even if we do wish that these were battles you had never fought, and horrors you had never been through.”
A memory comes on so hard and fast it gives me whiplash. Malik and Everett smile at me as they pass by. Loudly enough for me to hear, Everett says, “She used to be so fuckable. Too bad that alien wrecked her.” “Pussy’s probably too loose to bother with now.” They laugh until I advance on Malik and punch him square in the face. I fight the both of them and leave them with two bloody noses, one bloody lip, and three black eyes. The first moment I understood how good it felt to fight. And win.
“It doesn’t…make me seem dirty? Used?”
Surprise again. Tre’Hurr opens her mouth, but it’s Ka’Okkari who speaks. He stands up, away from the wall where he’d been leaning. His tone is grim, expression set in a more severe mask than I’ve seen it thus far. “Has someone said as much to you?”
I shake my head. “Not here. On Nobu.”
Red flashes in his forehead and I struggle to hold his gaze, but refuse to break it. I don’t want to seem weak. I don’t want to seem dirty. Especially not to him — but he hasn’t seen me in solars. Maybe he thinks the same thing colony kids do. Maybe he’s done with me after the chaos I caused, the lives stolen too soon.
“The answer to your question, Xhea, is nox.” He says nothing more and I nod weakly even though I’m not sure I believe him.
Va’El makes a crude, angry sound before he rasps, “It honors us all to hear of the upcoming tsanui, in which the fallen Bo’Raku will be condemned. It is honorable that it was granted by the Raku.”
The knot in my throat makes it hard for me to do anything, but I have to know. “What is that?”
“You forget, my Xiveri, she does not know our customs.” Tre’Hurr gently lays her hand on her partner’s arm before rearranging the furs covering him to the waist.
My heart squeezes. I remember… The Okkari arches over my body, protecting me from the cold biting at my skin. He calls me warrior. Later, I look down on his head, that strip of white hair amidst so much black. I tell him I need him and it’s the truest thing I’ve ever said aloud.
“Excuse me, my Xhea,” Va’El says, sitting up a little taller as his Xiveri mate places her arm on his shoulder. He lives for her. What do I live for? “The tsanui is the warrior’s right to revenge. For his crimes, the one you know as Bo’Raku has been removed from his position. He is known now by his slave name, Pe’ixal and is on trial for his betrayal of the Raku and the Voraxian people. He was involved in illegal trading with the King of Kor, as far as we were told, and was also complicit in the abduction of the Rakukanna and her advisor.”
I clench at that, remembering how I’d felt hearing Miari and Svera’s harrowing story when they were abducted by the Niahhorru king using an off-planet transport device never before heard of. If Svera’s protector Krisxox hadn’t been left alive, and he hadn’t managed to plant a tracking device in Svera’s communicator, they might never have been found.
“The trial was set to take place on Voraxia, however, our Okkari has requested that Pe’ixal be brought here so that he may undergo the tsanui before his trial.”
My whole body catches. I feel the sweat on my lip consume my whole face, my neck, my chest. I waver where I stand, reaching out to catch something anything before I fall. Suddenly, Tre’Hurr is standing in front of me, her arms on my arms. Touching me kindly. She’s guiding me to a pillow and thrusting a cup of something warm into my hands.
“Be calm, my Xhea. You are safe. He can bring no harm to you. Never again.”
“Bo’Raku is coming here?” I can’t breathe. I’ve thought of seeing him dead in a million ways, but when he didn’t appear on top of the mountain, I’d forgotten what it would be like to see him living. What will that do to me?
“Calm yourself, Xhea. You will not need to be near him, or even see him,” she says as if reading my mind, “It would not dishonor you not to attend the tsanui.”
“What happens during the tsanui?” I finally manage to choke out in between sips of this strange, earthy tea that smells of colony sand and a little of Okkari.
“The ceremony will constitute a fight between our Okkari and the exiled Bo’Raku, Pe’ixal.”
“A fight? A fair fight? But why? Why would he do that?” Why would he do that for me?
Color flashes for a moment in her brow and she bows slightly. “My apologies for the emotional display. I simply forget that humans are not fully aware of the power and effects of the Xanaxana. It would be impossible for me to explain other than to say, it is no question that the Okkari would do this for you. Exacting the tsanui against one who harmed my Xiveri mate would be instinctual for him.”
“As it would be for me,” Va’El adds. He takes Tre’Hurr’s hand as she settles again at his side. He brings it to his chest where he holds it. I stare. I stare hard. My mouth dries and I cling to the warm drink in my hands, sipping gingerly as spicy aromas zap my taste buds. We don’t have tea like this on the colony. Tea that’s not tea, but thick and syrupy and spicy and calming all at once.
“But the Okkari could lose…”
“Nox.” This time it’s Ka’Okkari, standing a few paces away. His face is still so very stern. “The Okkari is the fiercest fighter Nobu has, and cannot be bested in a tsanui. It will be a fair fight, but you need not fear. Xaneru is with him.”
“Then what happens?”
“Then the Okkari will exact whatever punishment he deems fit. He will likely exile Pe’ixal to Nobu’s endless ice ocean, though this he will need to agree upon with Raku, the Rakukanna, and the other xub’Raku. It is not known how far Pe’ixal’s influence with the outer planets extends and they will want to ensure that he cannot be a harm to Voraxians or humans wherever he is placed. You will never see him again.”
“I meant…what happens to me? Will I be exiled with Bo’Raku?” My voice trembles. The idea terrifies me. Being trapped alone with him in an icefall I can’t possibly survive by myself. Hunting and being hunted while I face off against khrui and hevarr and monsters unknown. Svera’s Tri-God speaks of paradise. But it also speaks of hell. This would be mine. Alone with the tormentor who haunts my dreams in a cold white dungeon.
Tre’Hurr and Va’El share a look. She shakes her head. “But my Xhea, why would you be exiled?”
“Because I hid Mi…” I stop myself, remembering what Svera told me about names. They are a protected thing here, only shared among mates and close kin. To share Miari’s now wo
uld be to disgrace her. “…the Rakukanna.”
Everyone’s ridges in the room light up in different colors. Tre’Hurr stutters as she speaks, “My Xhea, it is true that for keeping the Raku from his Xiveri mate, you and the human advisor Svera will be tried, however there is no chance that you would ever be exiled. The trials for you and the Svera will involve trials by combat. There will be no tsanui or anything of the like. You will have the opportunity then to choose your champion or your opponent. The Okkari will champion you and as Ka’Okkari well put, the Okkari is the greatest warrior Nobu has ever seen. He will not fail you.”
He’ll fight for me then too? I close my eyes and nod, trying not to think about how Kuaku lied to me and it was because of that lie that I ran off. I could have just talked to him. Been honest and open. Asked him to talk to Svera and Miari. Then all of this horribleness would have been avoided.
“Xhea,” Tre’Hurr says, pulling my attention back to my tea-drink-thing.
She is particularly interested in the human colony and asks me polite questions. I can feel her desire to ask more, but she doesn’t push. After a while, I notice Va’El’s apparent fatigue. Wishing I’d noticed it earlier, I mumble an awkward goodbye, rise and leave. As I make it to the door Tre’Hurr thanks me for coming to see them and I somehow manage to apologize, and then thank them again.
Back in the cold white once more, I think to myself of how ashamed Jaxal would be of me, and how pleased my apology would make my mom. When did I start looking up to him and stop looking up to her? And why can’t it be both?
The cold comes stronger now, and it only takes a few seconds for me to feel it on my face and in my lungs. I have to bite together to keep my teeth from shaking, and am grateful when Ka’Okkari finally leads me to another dwelling, this one in the middle of the valley and not sheltered at all by the mountain, but huddled along with other smaller, squat screa homes.
Taken to Nobu: A SciFi Alien Romance (Xiveri Mates Book II) Page 12