by KG MacGregor
“Oh, I figured that out weeks ago. How long are these mood swings going to last?”
“Potentially forever, and don’t call them mood swings,” she said sharply. “That’s patronizing, like you think she’s being ridiculous but it’s okay because of her hormones. What Lily needs more than anything else is for you to feel every single backache, cramp and hemorrhoid as if it were your own. Everything good is a reason to eat ice cream and everything bad is your fault. Got it?”
Anna nodded tentatively as she took in her sister’s version of pregnancy and child care, acknowledging a whole new respect for what her brother-in-law had endured as he awaited the birth of his children. “If I promise to treat all of that advice like a holy book, can I ask you a serious question?”
Kim looked at her pointedly, as if to emphasize that every word had been serious.
“Did you ever get scared when you were pregnant that something would go wrong?”
“All the time, and with good reason. We had two miscarriages.”
“What about later, like with Jonah and Alice?”
“That was different. We were taking all of our cues from Beth. Once she was satisfied we were out of the woods, we tried to quit worrying.”
Anna wished it were that easy for her, but she wasn’t the type to simply close her eyes and trust the professionals, particularly since she wasn’t entirely convinced Beth thought they were out of the woods.
Lily’s stomach knotted when their destination came into view, the In-N-Out Burger in San Ramon off I-680. Karen Parker Haney, her birth mother and the woman who had fought her for custody of Andy last fall, waited inside. Since setting up this meeting yesterday, Lily had second-guessed herself a dozen times. Was it fair to ask Andy to interact with a total stranger?
“Have you decided?” Anna asked, her voice barely above a whisper. They had talked before leaving Tahoe about whether or not to tell Karen about the baby.
“I don’t see any reason to tell her. She’s not a part of our life other than this.” Lily wanted no part of Anna’s observation that their baby was just as much Karen’s grandchild as Andy was. She had never considered Karen related to her in any way so she wasn’t about to concede that this child was. Then Anna had tossed a trump card onto the pile, suggesting their children’s common relationship with Karen might make them feel more like siblings.
“Can I have a milkshake?” Andy asked as they pulled into a parking space.
“Sure you can, pal,” Anna answered. “Remember what we talked about? We’re meeting that woman we saw at the courthouse in San Francisco last year. You probably don’t remember her but she remembers you. Your mama and I want you to be nice to her, tell her how you’re doing in school and things like that. Okay?”
Andy mumbled his agreement as he worked his seat belt free.
In the privacy of their bathroom that morning, Lily had insisted to Anna that Andy didn’t have to be nice if he didn’t want to be, but she had lost that argument. They were training him that adults were to be respected and it wasn’t a good idea to send him mixed messages by telling him it was okay to be disrespectful to Karen. Besides, Anna had argued that Andy couldn’t possibly understand the circumstances the way Lily did, and even if he could there was nothing good that could come from instilling ill will toward Karen.
When they entered the restaurant Lily spotted Karen instantly. She was wearing a raincoat—unusual for such a sunny day—but the reason became apparent when Lily saw her high heels and fishnet stockings. The coat was covering the leotard and miniskirt Karen wore to her job as a cocktail waitress at the Holiday Inn lounge. The woman smiled and gave a small wave in their direction, and Lily sucked in a deep breath. She could stand anything for thirty minutes, even this.
As planned, Anna split off to break the ice with Karen while Lily and Andy stood in line to order their food. Anna’s reasoning was that Andy would be more relaxed if he thought they already knew each other. The plan paid off when he sat down across from Karen and responded to her greeting without hesitation.
“Hello, Karen,” Lily said stiffly, almost laughing to realize their strategy hadn’t worked on her, since she wasn’t relaxed at all.
“Lily, thank you so much for calling me. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to have this chance to see Andy, and you and Anna too. It’s amazing how much he’s grown.” She turned to Andy and smiled broadly. “You’re getting to be such a big boy.”
“I’m thirty-eight pounds.”
“Your mama sent me your picture. Looks like your tooth has grown back.”
He opened his mouth wide to reveal a chewed-up cheeseburger, and wiggled one of his canines with his finger. “This one’s loose now.”
“I see that. Do you still play with your dog?” When he nodded vigorously she went on, “I found a book I thought you’d like. It’s all about dogs and there’s a picture of one just like Chester.” She pushed the book across the table and opened it to a page that told all about basset hounds. From what Lily could surmise, the book was aimed at the fifth or sixth grade level, certainly not at someone in kindergarten who couldn’t read at all. “I was going to send you this for Christmas but since I already had it and was going to see you today, I thought you would enjoy getting it early.”
The book was clearly used, purchased probably at a thrift store, or perhaps a yard sale, but that did nothing to diminish Karen’s obvious pride in her gift or Andy’s apparent appreciation. Momentarily forgetting his lunch, he leaned forward on his knees to flip through the pages.
“I hear you’re in kindergarten now. How do you like school?”
Andy settled back in his chair and between bites of burger and fries talked animatedly about his favorite activities—music, art and lunch.
“Do you like your teacher?”
His frozen look said it all, causing Anna to laugh. “That’s okay. I’m afraid of her too, pal.”
As they rambled on about Mrs. Dooley, Lily’s thoughts wandered back to the book. Whether Andy realized it or not, he had just learned a lesson that a gift from the heart was valuable, no matter how much it cost. What surprised her, though, was the feeling that she had learned it also.
The time passed quickly and before she knew it they were finished and headed en masse for the car. She didn’t object at all when Karen asked Andy for a hug, or when Andy obliged without wavering. She placed a hand over her tummy, deciding it was silly and immature not to say something about their baby. “Andy, why don’t you tell Karen the big news? Remember what we told everyone the other day?”
“I’m getting a new brother or sister. Mama’s going to eat everything and get really fat until the baby pops out.”
Lily rolled her eyes and chuckled. “With my luck it’ll happen exactly like that.”
Karen’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Lily, I’m so happy for you. All of you. I hope you’ll…” Her words trailed off and she waved a hand in front of her face, as if she didn’t dare ask for more.
“We’ll send you a note when the baby’s born.” She couldn’t bring herself to promise more than that.
When they got underway again Anna reached over and patted her knee. “That was very nice what you did, telling her about the baby.”
She shrugged and looked out the window, not willing to admit she had done anything out of sentiment or the kindness of her heart. Sometimes it took turning things over in her head before she came to the right conclusion. “I decided you were right about giving our children something else in common. Now would you mind if we stopped by the cemetery in San Jose? I’d like for Andy to meet his other grandmother.”
Chapter 6
Ever mindful of Kim’s orders to treat Lily like a queen, Anna pulled out the chair in Sandy and Suzanne’s dimly lit dining room and waited for Lily to sit. Sandy had prepared a feast of lasagna, salad and garlic bread. This was the first time in weeks they had socialized with their friends, since it was hard to give up a night alone at home when Andy stayed over with Jo
nah.
Suzanne took the chair next to Anna and immediately began serving the lasagna. “I bet you’re starving. Your stomach thinks it’s ten o’clock.”
“Not really,” Anna said. “I wasn’t in DC long enough for my body to transition to East Coast time. We finished up our meetings last night and I went to bed at eight o’clock.” At the national meeting of Chamber of Commerce organizations, the US Secretary of Commerce had given a pep talk that seemed only to underscore just how out of touch the administration was on the woes of the economic recession outside the Beltway. All in all, it was a wasted trip made worse by the fact she had missed going with Lily for her second sonogram.
At least the test had gone well, since Beth apparently had seen what she wanted to see from the other angle. Lily certainly seemed a lot calmer than she had the week before.
Sandy dished up four bowls of salad. “You guys in the car business must be dying. Every time I read the paper, there’s a dealership closing somewhere.”
“Those guys aren’t selling BMWs and Volkswagens. I think we’ll come out of it, but we had a gut check last month with downsizing.”
“Speaking of gut, this lasagna is good,” Suzanne said, smacking her lips. “Can I just say how happy I am you didn’t put turkey in it? I’ve eaten turkey sandwiches, turkey potpie, turkey noodle soup and turkey salad. I don’t care if I ever see another turkey again.”
“You’re the one who brought home a twenty-pound bird for two people.”
“That’s what the hospital gave me. Considering it’s the only perk I get for working there, I’d think you’d be more grateful. At least I didn’t make you go to Bakersfield.”
Sandy clasped her hands and said a silent prayer of thanks skyward. “I am grateful, and that’s why I wanted to take advantage of every ounce you brought home. You should be happy to have a girlfriend who is so creative in the kitchen.”
Suzanne chuckled and looked over her glasses at Anna and Lily. “I’m happy because my girlfriend is creative in every room of the house.”
“Too much information, Suzanne,” Lily blurted, holding up her forefingers in the shape of an X.
Anna seized the opportunity to change the subject back to food. “Sandy, this is delicious, and I have to admit I’m also glad it isn’t turkey. I wouldn’t mind you giving this recipe to Lily.”
Lily chuckled. “There’s a reason we eat out on Italian night. Sandy makes her own pasta and there’s no way mine’s going to be anywhere near as good as this.”
Sandy suddenly gasped. “Did you hear about Rusty Evans? He broke his foot.”
“Yeah, just what we need, something to make him—”
“More cranky. I know. He was bad enough that time he had surgery on his wrist. There he was trying to bang his gavel with his left hand and he—”
“…threw it on the floor!”
Anna loved watching the interaction between Lily and her best friend. They finished each other’s sentences, knew each other’s likes and dislikes and shared the kind of easy affection Anna had known only with her sister Kim. She wasn’t at all jealous of their friendship, but given they worked so closely together, she often felt she was on the outside looking in. It was easy to understand how Lily had become a champion of disadvantaged families, but Sandy had grown up in a privileged household, the daughter of a successful real estate developer. “Sandy, I’ve always wondered about something. How did you end up in social work?”
“Long story,” she said, carving off another small slice of lasagna. Still watching her weight, she had insisted on only a small slice the first time around, but this second one made her total serving equal to the others. “I was an English lit major at Cal State Northridge when I met Suzanne.”
“I’ll take it from there,” Suzanne mumbled, still chewing a mouthful of salad. “When I met Sandy there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I’d love her till the day I died. So naturally I wanted to take her home to meet the family in Bakersfield. Big mistake.”
“A week later they cut her off completely. Can you believe that?”
“I almost had to drop out of school. But then Sandy asked me to share her apartment and she wouldn’t let me pay any rent. I wasn’t looking for a sugar mama, but I was in love and not about to say no.”
“And I watched her work so hard,” Sandy said, looking proudly at her partner. “She was so devoted to what she was doing at the hospital, and I felt like such a snob for sticking my nose into Chaucer and thinking I could make a difference in someone’s life by teaching them the finer points of The Miller’s Tale. I had taken a sociology class that I thought was interesting, so I went back and applied to the school of social work. It took me an extra year to finish but I’ve never looked back.” She punctuated her remark with a quick kiss on Suzanne’s ear.
“Aw, that’s a very sweet story. Is any of it true?” Anna asked.
Suzanne kicked her gently under the table. “Every word.”
“I’m kidding. I’ve told Lily before that I’m very proud of the kind of work she does. That goes for both of you too. You guys make me feel guilty sometimes about the luxury car thing.”
“Don’t forget that you provide jobs for a hundred and thirty people,” Lily said.
“Down from a hundred and eighty only a couple of months ago.”
“The recession isn’t your fault, Anna, and you didn’t just lay people off. You gave them severance and a chance to do something else. That’s way more generous than most people would have done.”
Anna followed Sandy’s lead and kissed Lily on the cheek. “That’s because you’ve rubbed off on me.”
Suzanne made an X with her fingers and huffed. “Now who’s giving too much information?”
Like true friends they followed their hosts into the kitchen and helped clean up. Then the four of them took the party outside to the hot tub, where the December air was crisp and the sky filled with stars. From the dim light of the kitchen window, Anna caught Lily’s wink as she turned her back to her friends and undressed. Moments later they lowered themselves into the steaming pool, and swapped places so Lily could have the jets on her lower back, which had been bothering her for a few days.
“Oh, by the way, I almost forgot,” Lily said casually. “We’re having a baby in June.”
Sandy faltered for several seconds, opening and closing her mouth. “Excuse me. I thought I heard you say…”
“I’m pregnant.”
“Aaaaaaaah!” Sandy screamed. “I’d hug you but I’m naked.”
Lily spilled out their story to her friends’ delight, including the news of the sonogram the day before. “We don’t know the sex yet, and unless Beth orders another sonogram we won’t find out until it’s born.”
“I always thought you guys would make great parents,” Sandy said. “I never could get Suzanne to even think about it.”
“I thought about it. I just didn’t like the idea. But I like it a lot for you guys. This kid’s going to be as lucky as Andy, and he’s the damned luckiest kid I ever saw.”
Anna liked Suzanne, but found her brash and insensitive sometimes. Then she would say something like that and make up for everything all at once.
Andy burst through the door and made a beeline for the living room, where a majestic ten-foot Christmas tree twinkled in the otherwise darkened house. “He didn’t come!”
Lily leaned in the doorway and sighed. “I don’t think our plan worked.” They had stayed at Hal and Kim’s long after Christmas Eve dinner, hoping an evening of playing with Jonah would wear the boys out. It was now nearly two hours past Andy’s usual bedtime and he seemed to be gathering steam for a fresh round of mayhem.
Anna approached from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder. “Something tells me it’s going to be a long night.”
“I’ll get him upstairs and settle him down.” She started for the stairs, feeling her own wave of exhaustion. It had been a long day, starting with a half-day in the office that ended with a holiday luncheon. S
he had taken that opportunity to share with her co-workers the news of her baby, after which Tony paid Lauren twenty bucks to settle a bet. Lauren had noticed not her belly, but her change in wardrobe. “Let’s go, Andy. Bath and a story. Now.”
Her commands didn’t seem to deter him, as he raced immediately into the dining room and kitchen just to be sure Santa hadn’t already paid them a visit. Chester was hot on his heels, barking with enthusiasm.
“No Santa in there either,” he announced as he returned to the living room, dropping to his knees to count the presents under the tree. “One…two… A lot of these are mine!”
Lily had gotten him a set of adventure books and DVDs along with a UCLA Bruins football jersey. Anna got him several new car posters for his room. Those gifts were wrapped and under the tree already. Santa’s stuff was hidden in the pool shed.
“Go with Mama, pal. Santa doesn’t come until after everyone falls asleep.”
“I have to do the milk and cookies!”
“Okay, let’s do it then.”
Lily waited patiently at the bottom of the stairs until the ritual was finished and then escorted Andy to his room. Her task was to make enough noise as they readied for bed so he wouldn’t hear Anna ferrying his Santa presents into the living room.
Andy jabbered through his bath about Santa and the reindeer before finally climbing into bed for a story. Apropos of the occasion, Lily chose The Night Before Christmas, which turned out to be a bad move because it stimulated even more questions.
“How will Santa know where our house is?”
She smoothed his hair gently in an effort to lull him to sleep. “Remember? We put lights all along the sidewalk so he can find our house.”
“And he’ll come down the chimley?”
“That’s right, but not until you go to sleep.”
He burrowed into his bed, but it was clear from his worried look that he still had concerns. “Do you think Santa will come here before he goes to Jonah’s house?”