“For the first time in my life, I’m scared of Shadow. Scared of what he’ll do to her,” I admit, swallowing down tears that want to break away.
“I know, Logan. You need to rest. I need to stop worrying that you’re going to stand up and pass the hell out on me. You fall and rip open those stitches, and you’ll be fucked. You don’t think I know what you need, well, I do. You need her. She needs you. Hold on to what the two of you found. I also know what Shadow needs, and it’s not only Whitney, it’s you. It’s money. He’s not going to leave without trying to kill you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he isn’t going to use Ellie as a bargaining chip. He left you at a disadvantage for more reasons than to fuck with your head. I’m thinking about the need for Seth and me and everyone else. I’m thinking of what my daughter needs, and that would be you and Ellie to remain alive. Let us do this and rest.”
“What would any of you do if you were me? Would you want to lie down, pass out and wake to the possibility that something bad could happen? You just said he wanted me. If he calls, are one of you going in my place? Fuck that noise. You might take control of this but the hell will I ever let you risk your life for me.” I could give a shit if Shadow wants to try to kill me. I might be wounded, but I’d fight to my death if it meant saving Ellie. Not these guys. My flesh and blood. My best friend. No goddamn way.
“I fucking know that alright? That’s my whole damn point. You can’t take him on. He made sure of that. We can, Logan. The three of us can. Do you hear me? I don’t want to bury my fucking brother. Deal with it and take the fucking pill.”
I glare at Lane so hard I feel the vessels behind my lids pop. His face begins to fade through the throb in my shoulder, consuming my vision.
I can’t speak. Can’t believe this fucking shit is happening. If I take the damn thing and wake to something happening to my brothers or Rocco, the last thread inside me will unravel. Then again, if I wake to some good news, my insides will untwist.
“He’s right, Logan. Take it. Swear I’ll wake you by kicking you in the ass if we hear anything.”
I shake my head and send a glare at Seth. Asshole.
“I could punch you in the face when I wake you like you did Lane if that’s what you want.”
I flip him off, glancing between the two of them and Rocco who laughs it off.
“Thank you for being here, but I’m not taking it.” I swipe the pill onto the floor, pick up the bottle of water, twist off the cap, and chug the entire thing down.
Sighing as Lane lets off a string of curses and takes a seat beside me, I open the screen on my phone and hit play for the hundredth time on the video that Shadow left for me to see. Swear to God, I never want to see another video in my life.
This one I can look at if I skip over the first part that is. But like a man glutton for punishment, I don’t.
Awareness.
It slams me in the head like a sledgehammer. Tightening my lungs and making it hard to breathe as I watch Ellie turn the knob on the kitchen door. Her smile falls along with her flip-flops that are still where they landed. Not even a split second later, the gun goes off, and her body goes out of view. The only noise is her hitting the floor. And then there’s nothing but that damn door until the backside of Shadow comes into view as he leans down and says something I can’t make out before stepping over her and disappearing.
What chokes me up isn’t the sound of the shots firing at me. It’s not the look of pure evil that Renita was talking about on Shadow’s face when he comes back into view as he turns around and pins his gaze briefly toward the phone.
No, it’s the bravery I see in Ellie. The way she moves fast on her toes and quick in her mind when I know she’s hurting.
She was worried about saving me.
Clutching the phone tighter, I growl when the guy in the ski mask walks toward the phone and doesn’t say a word before shutting it off.
Groaning, I slump down in the chair, attempting to swallow around the unbearable lump that decides to park itself in my throat.
A strangled sound rips out of me as the phone vibrates in my shaking hand.
An unknown number.
“Fuck,” I yell, exchange a glance with the guys, and press a finger to my lips.
Swiping the screen, I connect, hit speaker, and without saying a word, I place it on the table.
“Ahhh, so you are alive? Damn, I was hoping my eyes played tricks on me and I shot you through the heart or perhaps Logan is dead, and I’ll have the option of killing another Mitchell brother.”
My brows raise as I glare at my brother and Rocco. Take a pill and let them go after Shadow. Not a chance in hell am I chancing anything happening to them. I can’t imagine what state of mine any of us would be in if something were to happen to one of them and Ellie.
Sweat gathers at the nape of my neck.
“Did you call to talk about old times or for a reason, you sick son of a bitch. I mean that in the literal sense, motherfucker.”
“Now, Logan. I’d play nice if I were you. I’m calling about old times, alright. Not the mommy dearest ones.”
Revulsion. Its bitter taste is about as bad as the sound of Shadow’s voice.
A rotten sour apple that didn’t fall far from the tree.
“You wouldn’t know nice if it bit you in the ass.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Logan. I have nice in my possession. The sweet nice that makes a man do things he normally wouldn’t do. Ellie is that fucking beautiful. She used to be sweet too. Untainted from the lives men like me and you live, that even a man like me becomes addicted to her. I’m not a man who takes kindly to someone trying to steal from me. Surely, you can understand that. When a person steals or betrays me, they don’t live. And you stole a lot from me.”
“So this call isn’t about you wanting to meet me and fight man to man. Fist to fist. An eye for an eye and all that? Fucked up thing, you aren’t a man, are you? It’s not stealing when it wasn’t yours in the first place. There’s a difference between possessive and possession, you dumb fuck.”
“I’ll get to the heart of my phone call in a minute. Name-calling doesn’t win you points, Logan. It makes matters worse. I have Ellie, and you don’t. That’s a big problem for you. Do you know how many days I waited to find Ellie only to smell you on her? Over thirty-seven-hundred-days. Ellie was mine, and you spoiled her. She’s like rotten meat to me now, and that pisses me off. I’m going to hurt her because I can. I’m going to take from her because you owe me. Hearing her scream, watching her try to be resilient to seeing me, all has gotten my dick hard. Listen to this and tell me if it’s music to your ears.” Shadow’s cold laugh comes through the line unforgivingly.
“Don’t you fucking touch her, Shadow,” I growl. My sanity is long gone. All reason is blowing in the wind. I need to do away with him. Nail his death certificate to the back of his head.
“I told you paybacks were a bitch. I can see you now, Logan. I bet you have steam rolling out of your ears. You should have known Ellie wasn’t yours to keep and she sure the hell wasn’t yours to touch.”
Panic soaks through my skin at what sounds like a whip hitting flesh. It’s followed by a frightening, soul-crushing scream I will never forget in my life as it hits me dead center like someone took a knife and cut right through my ribs and ripped me open. Another strike and Ellie cries out again.
Blood-curdling screams fill the room. I can’t breathe. Pretty sure none of us in this room can.
Tightness. It clamps down on my neck, choking me like notches on a guillotine.
“Tell me where you are and face me like a man, you soul-sucking leech.” I grind my teeth, my body convulsing into spasms.
“I’m so close yet so far away. It sucks not being able to hold on to something you thought was yours. Goddamn, I can feel your pain.” He laughs, a cruel, chilling, body-freezing sound that hits me in my bones.
Guilt wraps around my throat — that little friend is coming back to squeeze the
life out of me. I scrub my hands down my face, the overwhelming urge to fucking explode crawling into my skin like fucking poison.
Fuck, what Ellie must be feeling right now. Frightened out of her mind and wondering what to do.
“Do you know what’s going to happen to you once I find you? You are one sick bastard. When I get my hands on you, you’ll wish you were still behind bars counting down the days.” I’m unable to speak any further. All I have are images in my head of the horrendous things he will do to Ellie if we don’t find her.
“Sick, smart, what the hell is the difference when I have the woman you want. I’d offer a trade for my sister since Ellie is no good to me now. The problem for you and her, Whitney is dead, isn’t she? You don’t have to answer; I know she is.”
“Go to hell.” I refuse to give him any more than those words. He might think he’s breaking me down, scaring me by mentioning Whitney, but I’ll be damned if I tell him she’s dead. Not until he chokes on his blood after I slice his throat.
“Now, that is something I can agree with. We all live in some kind of hell, don’t we? Life is pure hell for some, a piece of it for others. One thing’s for sure; I’ll see you there, but not before I make Ellie’s life a living one.”
Cocking my head toward my brothers, my heart slams in its confines to pound out of my chest. Lane sits rubbing his temples while Seth, his entire body shakes the same way it used to do when he wanted a drink.
I expect them to say something, but they have the same helpless and scared look that has to be staring at them.
My gaze trails to Rocco and the pain on his ashen face puts a crack in my skull. Every fucking memory of what he went through comes pouring out like a flash of blinding light.
“This is what’s going to happen, Logan. I’m going to torture Ellie before I fuck her. Then I’m going to kill her unless you come up with ten million dollars — one million for every year you fucked over my sister. I’ll take ownership of Behind Closed Doors while you’re at it, and if you don’t have it by the next time I call, well, I recorded something for you as a reminder as to how I’ll kill her. It’s just some heavy petting to get Ellie prepped to be fucked. There’s no negotiating when it comes to me fucking her. That’s a given for you fucking me over. Looks to me like she’s ripe, ready and waiting for me. I hope you enjoy it. Rest assured, Logan, I sure did, and I’m about to enjoy her more.”
As the call disconnects, a video comes through. My fingers dig into my thighs as Lane picks up the phone and connects it to the laptop.
Swear to all things holy, I blackout briefly when Ellie’s body comes into view. Her arms and legs are tied to a bed. There’s duct-tape covering her mouth. Hair matted and tangled. Her dress is gone, and her bare ass is hitched slightly in the air by a pillow.
“Jesus Christ, someone go check on the women, keep them the hell out of here.” I don’t know who speaks or who gets up and leaves as I can’t take my eyes off of Ellie.
She lifts her head slightly, fear, and desperation dance across her eyes. They latch onto mine as if she can see me.
“Hold on baby, fuck, hold on, please.”
I see something else in those watery eyes as I take a closer look.
Belief.
She’s holding onto it with all that she has.
“It’s a shame I have to scar this beautiful skin. It’s even worse I can’t keep you as I wanted. If I take off the tape are you going to beg me not to record this and send it to Logan?” Ellie squirms as Shadow slides his hand up her leg. Her arms tug helplessly at the rope, and my heart catches fire when Shadow undoes his belt, and I hear it hiss before it lands across her ass.
Her body arches, skin pulling taut and tight, and even though I can’t hear the scream over the tape, I feel it everywhere. The pain, the urgent cry for help.
“I’m kidding, the tape stays. She’s a feisty one, Logan. Time changed my sweet little Ellie. The minute I turned on the camera, she tried telling you my friend’s name. It’s a shame too because I enjoy hearing her scream. She’ll be screaming soon though because by the time you’re done watching this, I’ll be fucking her raw.”
Sickness churns in my gut when Shadow laughs and winks toward the camera.
“Are you breaking yet, Logan? Does this make you regret everything you’ve done? Make you wish you didn’t kill Whitney and steal my goddamn money? You should have left Ellie alone.”
Blocking my view, he draws a fist back, and the sound of him punching her in the face, the spraying of her blood has me closing my eyes, and a childlike wail opens my chest, bouncing around inside of me.
Every part of me twists into a tight snake-like coil, desperate to strike out and kill. Bloodshed and insanity expand my muscles with the desire to smash in Shadow’s fucking skull.
“I want to carve his heart out of his chest,” I sputter, those wishful words rolling over my tongue.
The belt comes down again and again. Every strike buckles her frame. Blood splays everywhere and through it all, Ellie doesn’t lift her head again.
Worthless, that’s what I am. Unable to protect the woman I love from her worst nightmare coming to life.
Again.
“Motherfucker, I can’t watch this, can’t listen to anymore.” I squeeze my fists tight around the arm of the chair until the wrath to pummel Shadow to death is all I can see.
Chapter 7
Ellie
I’ve come to believe that for a few short months, I had been living in a bubble, this fantasizing belief that time was what I had. When, in reality, time is as cruel as the men holding me captive.
I wanted more time in this world.
More time to love, laugh, swim, possibly get married, and become a mother. I wanted more time with Norah and Renita. I want time to get closer to Lexi. Watch her grow into a woman. I wanted time to see the real man behind Seth and stand by and watch him, and Lane fall in love.
I wanted a life with Logan.
One big happy family.
I wanted to live in my childhood home. I wanted to forget.
And for the life of me, which, the longer I lay here, doesn’t seem like long before my life is over. I can’t understand why wanting and needing those things don’t come to those who genuinely want them, why life has to be so cruel and punish people who don’t deserve it.
Why good things that come to those who wait, can’t hold on to them forever.
Misery.
It has a distorted way of showing up out of the blue. It’s ugly, uncaring, and thoughtless. It doesn’t warn you that it can come in waves and knock you dead off your feet. It doesn’t inform that once you catch your breath, let down your guard and trust someone enough to fall in love that it’s going to pounce and plunge you down into the razor-sharp jaws of deep mourning and immense grief.
Down, down, down into the darkened hole.
I’m lost, and with each passing second, I’m coming to terms with not being found before Shadow kills me.
I’m not okay with that.
There’s going to be an enormous weight of guilt strapped to the shoulders to those I’ll leave behind. Those what-ifs, I should-haves, and how-could-haves eating away at them a little bit at a time.
I know they’ll heal and carry on because that’s what misery allows you to do until the next time it drags you down.
That’s not what I want for them. If I don’t find a way to get out of here, then that’s what they’ll get — a plate of cruelty and misery served by the hands of Shadow.
Every fraction of every tiny beaten down cell in my body suddenly starts stirring to life. My mind might be a struggling broken mess, envisioning dreams coming true that were in my grasp and stripped away before I had the chance to hold on to them, but I’m not dead yet. Therefore, I’m not giving up.
Through one barely open teary eye, I watch the sun fall behind the horizon, painting the sky shades of red and pink, and I thank God that this day is almost gone. It won’t be long until the stars will blink a
nd the moon will hang. Maybe, just maybe, I could wish on one, and it would come true.
I laugh, it comes out like a strangled cry because of how thirsty and tired I am.
I fought Shadow off until my muscles felt like they wanted to snap. I screamed Logan’s name over and over into the video camera that at first, I didn’t know was there. But once I saw it, I knew Shadow was going to send a video of him raping me to Logan, and I would rather die than to subject him watching. So, I kicked and fought, and by doing so, it brought my limbs back to life. It wasn’t until I connected with Shadow’s balls and I ran for the door that I knew if he caught me I’d most likely die.
How wrong I was and how I wish I weren’t.
Shadow tied me to the bed, taped my mouth, forced me to look into the camera and beat me until blistering pain shot through me like lightning, catching fire to all my nerve endings and making me pass out. I don’t know what he did to me after that.
Blankness so dense plants in my mind and tears burn behind the back of my eyes. I have no memory whatsoever of what happened after I lost consciousness. Did he rape me again? Did Cole? Did Shadow send Logan the video?
Not knowing is about as much torture as knowing, at least that’s what I’m telling myself as I lay in a pool of my blood and urine.
I tried many times to get up and use the bathroom and shower. As embarrassing as it is, I gave in and humiliated myself. Twice.
“At least you were able to move to the edge of the bed where it’s somewhat dry.”
My gaze flicks around the room, and with bated breath, I wait for Shadow to emerge, to finish me off, but when there’s nothing but the small whimpering sound of my voice telling me to run, it’s then I notice the bedroom door is open.
Escaping is futile though when I can barely move a muscle. Welts scatter across my arms, some of my flesh is open with blood oozing out of the cuts. If this is what my arms look like, I’d imagine my backside looks like burnt flesh.
It’s with the thought of dying by Shadow’s hand, of never seeing those I love when something close to grit and determination tugs on my heart. I don’t want to die and let Shadow live. He’ll do this to someone else if I don’t find a way to stop him.
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