I smirk.
Seth’s brows raise. He doesn’t know that after giving up years ago in my search for anything belonging to Ellie’s family, I received a call last week from Andrew telling me he stumbled upon an overlooked receipt in my file dated years ago. How it got there, he wasn’t sure.
With a bribe to the owners of the storage facility that costs more than most people’s yearly house payment, they let Andrew in, and that’s when he found the ring amongst several boxes of other things. I was set to tell her about it when she lost our baby.
I should have hired someone to break in and brought the stuff to the house. If I had, Ellie wouldn’t have gone through the traumatization with that gun I won’t ever be able to wrap my head around.
“I agree. You okay?” I ask, eyeing the blood on his jeans and arm.
“Yeah, prick still doesn’t know how to fight with his hands, slashed me with a razor, looks like Ellie got in a slash across Shadow’s face of her own.” He chuckles, no humor behind it, only that same deep sadness I feel. “I saved you a few fingers. You might want to make it quick before he bleeds to death. I wrapped his hand to stifle the bleeding. Figured if you weren’t here soon, I’d take off the rest.”
That’s my girl.
“You could have cut them all off as far as I care. One for each year.” I shake my head, take the gun from his hand when he reaches me. My eyes never wavering from his as I silently tell him Ellie is going to be okay.
“He’s all yours, brother.”
Turning around, I tuck the gun in my back pocket, drop the knife, and prepare to end this long-time war.
I snarl, fury fizzling in my gut when I lift my gaze in the direction of the man who’s about to die. In an instant, my snarling turns into laughter; it’s cold, calculating, and deserving of the position Seth has Shadow in.
“The hell did you do, Seth?”
With a groan, Shadow raises his head, eyes narrowing, and takes a couple of deep breaths. Arms twitching in the ropes he’s confined in.
While we stare each other down, I can see the wheels spinning like a motherfucker in his head. The man is still trying to read my mind.
“You always said you wanted to hang him by his balls, so I prepared him to be hung by his balls. You owe me for that. I had to scrub my hands at least a dozen times. Still don’t feel clean.”
There’s a rope tucked down Shadow’s jeans that are hung low around his hips. It’s pulled tight and twisted around his body, his neck, his hands, and wrapped around the beams on the ceiling that he hangs from with the end laying at his feet. How the fuck my brother did that, I’ll never know.
“Well, it sure the fuck is fitting.” The only thing better would be for me to have use of both my arms so I could show him what it’s like to have his ass beat.
I’d love nothing more than to untie him, let him loose, and the two of us go at it while we talk about every goddamn thing he’s done to bring us to this pivotal moment for Ellie. I’m not taking any more chances when it comes to ending his life. Pussy already has me at a disadvantage with my shoulder.
Bottom line. Today is the day Shadow is going to die — end of the fucking story — his anyway.
I say nothing more as I take in the rigged up concoction.
“You killing me with that gun isn’t going to erase what I’ve done to Ellie. I’ll live in her nightmares long after I’m dead or…” Shadow tsks, eyes going wide, doing a victory dance as they jump around. “Are you here because she’s dead?”
Flashes of my life slip past my eyes — images of Ellie broken and battered hit me upside the head like a hammer to the skull.
Hostility vibrates through me.
“Ellie is very much alive. Now Whitney on the other hand, she is dead. I beat her to death. Crushed her fucking skull in with Ellie’s dad’s baseball bat. There’s one thing I forgot to do when I dumped her into the bayou, care to know what that was?”
He shrugs, lips stretching into an upsetting smile, but he doesn’t answer. Not this crazy psychotic fuck. He keeps staring me down, wondering if I’m going to drag his death out or give him the luxury of easing into it nice and quick.
“I forgot to send her off with some of her money.”
Taking a step toward him, I pull a penny out of my pocket and toss it at his feet. Grab hold of the rope and give it a slight tug, smirking when Shadow winces. “If you can untie yourself, I’ll give you every penny I have, plus the club. If you can’t, you die how Ellie wanted you to die. I find it funny in a sickening way you’ll understand that Ellie wanted both of you to die by something that once belonged to her father.”
My smile grows wide as Shadow bares his teeth. All I want is to snuff out his life and get back to Ellie. The thing is, I want him dying with knowing a thing or two.
“Now that doesn’t come close to being as funny as me dying with knowing I had Ellie first. You can kill me, but you’ll never erase me from her mind.”
His words strike me as if he carved my heart clear out of my chest.
I refuse to let him goad me, to give him the satisfaction of knowing what he did to Ellie will forever live inside her.
“You are deadly wrong. There’s a difference between rape and having someone. Did you know that I’m the only man she’s been with who didn’t force himself on her? That’s right, all this time, all these years, Ellie’s pleasure was waiting for me. Her body, her heart, her mind, her begging. They belong to me. I’m the only one who has ever tasted her pussy. The only one, Shadow. Every inch of her I’ve touched. I had her first, and I’ll have her last.” I pull the ring box I took out of the dresser drawer after showering and wave it in his face.
His eyes go wide as he tries to keep his shit together, trying to conceal the anger I know has to be coursing through his body that I not only have Ellie, but I know where he got the gun, and it won’t be long until Ellie has it all like she should have all along.
Snapping it closed, I shove it back in my pocket and stare him down.
I’d visualized this moment for years. Strummed up every evil way I could think of how I wanted to end Shadow’s life. Now that the time is here, the adrenaline in my veins is like gasoline pouring over an already roaring fire.
As much as I would love to stand here and torment him with Ellie, he isn’t worth the time.
And, that’s what this is all about. What it’s always been about.
Justice for Ellie.
She needs me more than I need to torture him.
“You fucking hurt her,” I yell, everything inside of me breaking loose as I yank hard on the rope. Shadow bellows out a hiss, sweat instantly forming across his forehead. I pull a little tighter, hand the rope off to Seth and with a smile that would impress the Devil, I pull out the knife, fling it and nail Shadow in his crotch.
“Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk,” he roars. Tears start falling down his gaunt face, blood soaking his jeans like a sieve. It’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in my life. The squirming he’s doing like the worm he is, body unable to coil in on itself because he’s slowly dying. Not to mention, he can’t free his arms.
Wrath erupts in my veins. I take a few steps forward, grab the hilt of the knife, and draw it upward. His yelling increases, eyes bulging, veins popping out in his neck. His filthy fucking blood is running down my hands.
I tune out the sounds of his whimpers as his body continues to spasm and jerk the last bit of life out of him.
Closing my eyes as I take a few steps back, I look at him, and all I see as I glare at him hanging in the air by what’s left of his balls are the tears streaming down Ellie’s face. The bruises on her body from years ago, the way her words stumbled out of her mouth when she described to the police how he raped her.
It all comes back, the violation, the years he tormented her, the things he said and did to the woman who owns me.
“Ellie is mine. She’ll always be. This is for her, our baby, her father, our families, for me. One bullet for every year I waited to seek reve
nge for Ellie. Rot in hell, motherfucker.”
I pull out the gun, wince when I lift it with my bad arm and pull the trigger ten times nailing him right between his stalking eyes.
As I turn toward the door, I spin around and nail one more for him, drawing blood out of my baby brother.
Chapter 11
Ellie
I can hear the waves crashing against the shore from where I stand on the deck, arms resting on the railing. The few minutes I’ve been standing here has begun to clear the last bit of cobwebs in my mind.
When I woke, I expected to see Logan next to me. Instead, it was Norah. I didn’t mind; she helped me shower, let me know Logan had come home and was asleep across the hall. As far as I know, he’s still sleeping as he should be. She also told me Shadow was dead, and not to be surprised if I turned on the television to hear Cole’s house had mysteriously exploded and burned to the ground.
I couldn’t help it; I laughed so hard it brought happy tears to my eyes, but when I caught her reflection in the mirror, my laughter died right along with a piece of me. It had nothing to do with how unrecognizable I looked.
She looked at me as if I was going to break at any second. It angered me. It brought back many memories of her and Renita doing the same thing as before. The only difference? This time, I wasn’t forced by anyone to talk about what happened. Neither have asked me questions. If they never do, it is fine by me. They didn’t bring up the video, which makes me think they don’t know about it. Among all the gratitude I owe the men in life, that is the one thing I’m thankful they kept to themselves.
After I was settled back in bed from taking the quickest shower known to man because the sting from the water about dropped me to my knees, I tended to my wounds, and a smile spread when Renita waltzed into the room carrying a tray of comfort food. Tomato soup and grilled cheese along with a pitcher full of water.
Next to the taste of Logan’s lips, all of it was the best thing I’ve ever tasted.
I raise my face to the sun, thankful that the outcome of Shadow’s intentions are only skin deep and not as brutal as they could have been.
My brain starts to spin, though, my entire being swaying with not knowing where my dad’s guns are. I want them. There’s a nagging in the pit of my stomach that there are more things too.
An outbreak of optimism whips through me. An upheaval brought on by the years I’ve lived knowing Elizabeth sabotaged everything my dad worked hard for, the years of fear I lived with, and all they put me through has me realizing I’m not alone anymore. I have Logan, his brothers, and Gabe to help me find the missing pieces of my life.
But I don’t want to dwell or think about it until I talk to Logan. I want to think about what this house and this town means to me.
A smile tweaks at the corners of my mouth, both sorrowfulness and fortunate seeping from deep inside. Because here amid tragedy, is the most peaceful I’ve felt in a long, long time.
“There hasn’t been a single moment since both of you died where I haven’t wished you were here. I’m home now, and I’m going to find your guns, Dad, and who knows, maybe there’s something of yours too, Mom.” I murmur to myself, well aware my parents can’t hear me. It isn’t the first time I’ve talked to them; it won’t be the last.
I’m not a superstitious person. I do find it comforting how the little bit of time I’ve spent here has the power to ease my stress, how it’s cleansed away filth and healed my wounded heart in a way almost nothing else can. I feel my parents’ presence far more than I ever have before. It’s strange. It’s sad; it’s uplifting. It makes me happy.
Cinching my silk robe tighter, I look to my left and notice Seth, Gabe, and, who I assume is Rocco, sitting at the other end of the deck, their feet propped up on the railing, cups of coffee in hand, heads tilted this way.
Embarrassment flushes under my skin, knowing Rocco and Seth saw parts of me they shouldn’t have when they saved me.
“You doing okay down there?” I meet Seth’s eyes; he looks tired but good. As our gazes hold, I hate that I notice a cautiousness in his I never saw before. It’s like he wants to get up and hug me, but he’s afraid I’m too fragile. On any other day, I’d call him out on it, but being that I know deep down the Mitchell brothers are as soft on the inside as they are hard as steel on the outside, I leave it alone.
He cares, and that’s enough for me.
“I’ve had better days. In the long run, I’m going to be better than I was.”
At least I was coming to grips with it all until I catch the same look in Gabe’s eyes as Seth’s. Now I feel unsettled. The only one not looking at me as if I might lose my shit and breakdown in a puddle of tears is Rocco. I don’t know him to decipher his stare. If I had to guess, it’s admiration and approval.
It’s then I notice Lane’s missing. “Where’s Lane?” I ask, thankful he isn’t here because all I want to do is thank them, go into the house and calm down.
“He flew home after he found out you were going to be okay,” Gabe answers without telling me that he left to get home to Lexi. The thought of him leaving Lexi brings tears to my eyes I don’t want to shed. So I don’t. At the same time, though, it makes me love that man all the more.
God, I could use a heavy dose of that precious little girl right about now.
“Thank you for saving my life and thank you for taking care of Logan.” I squint to see better, swinging my gaze to each man; it’s Rocco who I end on. I might be agitated over the awkwardness between the four of us, but I’m still the same person I was a few days ago. The woman my parents taught me to be. Respectful and kind so I introduce myself. “It’s nice to meet you, Rocco.”
He quirks a brow, a smirk on his lips. The man is definitely hard to read.
“You too, Ellie, and you’re welcome. Appreciate if you’d stay out of trouble from now on. Wiring a house isn’t my expertise. It’s a good thing Gabe showed up when he did, or I might have blown myself up right along with those dirty fuckers who will never bother you again. Think I can speak for all of us when I say you and Logan take care of each other, that’s all the thanks any of us need.”
I can’t help myself; I giggle with images of Shadow’s body burnt to a crisp. Serves him right after everything he put me, Logan, and these men through.
“I’ll try on both accounts,” I say, still sputtering a laugh that eases the tension between us all. It’s a good thing too because the last thing I want from these men who mean the world to me is for them to feel sorry for me.
It doesn’t matter how I survived or why. What matters is I did. Shadow didn’t break me. He didn’t turn me fragile or weak. I’m strong, and that’s the way I’ll always be. I only hope once everyone’s emotions calm; they’ll see that I’m simply Ellie. A survivor and not a statistic.
“I’m going to grab a cup of coffee and to check out that noise coming from my kitchen. Can I get you anything?” I point behind them to where I hear Renita, Norah, and my aunt through the door. I was on my way to get a cup of coffee when I heard the waves calling out to me. Amongst clearing the air, making sure Logan is doing okay by seeing him with a clear head, coffee is the other thing I crave.
“No,” they say in unison and glance at a stack of papers on the table in front of them I didn’t notice before.
“Seth, I’m sorry you were hurt. You’re going to be okay too, you know.”
His eyes flick my direction, and I see it there, his determination to beat the disease. Weariness hanging over him like a storm cloud. Haunting eyes filled with hope just out of his reach.
“We’re all going to be okay, Ellie.”
I leave them there doing whatever it is there were doing before I walked out and silenced them. The second I walk into the house and am out of sight, I place my forehead against the wall and close my eyes, counting backward from ten. Then start over again. I stay this way for the longest time reminding myself I’m a survivor. I’m not weak, not fragile, not broken, and they weren’t looking at m
e as if I was. Maybe it’s my imagination, my raw emotions taking over. My need for more sleep. My need to be with Logan. My need for my mind to finally relax. The details of my father’s guns. Answers. That’s what I need.
I slowly walk toward the kitchen, pausing in the doorway as I’m gifted with a sight that shifts my soul in the direction it needs to go—toward happiness.
Renita had already informed me they were going to utilize my kitchen and not let the food go to waste, and they have. All three of them are around the island with containers of food in front of them along with a mess. A disaster is more like it. There’s flour all over the floor; dishes piled in the sink and laughter. So much of it, I stand there and let it flow through me. It fills in the cracks that Shadow tried to break into a million unfixable pieces.
Just like that.
They are singing, swaying hips and the laughter coming from my aunt as she watches from the stool she’s sitting on as Renita and Norah belt out a song with wooden spoons in their hands sends calmness through me.
It’s like an out of body experience. It’s like right here; in this very moment, I feel my parents heave a sigh and tell me they are one step closer to resting in peace. They are just waiting for me to find mine.
I grip the frame of the door, and I stare at them, these women who I love, who love me back, who shut a door to a wicked and horrible past and open a new one waiting for me to pass through.
This is normal, this is life, this is comfortable, and I wish with everything in me, I wasn’t in physical pain to join them.
Norah’s eyes go wide when she sees me. All I can do is let the tears that want to fall fill my eyes because I’m so overwhelmed, so disconnected from life over everything that’s happened that whatever is coursing through my system right now is stronger than any panic attack I’ve had.
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