Randy reached the small landing and paused outside the door. He knew she was home, because he had seen lights on from outside, had seen a shadow cross in front of one the windows just a few minutes earlier. So yes, Alyssa was home.
And he was standing in front of her door, once again questioning why he was here. No, he knew why he was here. He just wasn't sure it was a good reason.
He reached out and rapped his knuckles against the wood door, wincing a little at the loud echo in the bare stairwell. A few seconds went by before he heard footsteps on the other side, quiet and hesitant. She didn't have a peephole in her door, which was something else she should talk to her landlord about. How else would she know who was there?
"Who is it?" Her voice was faint, almost too soft to hear. And hesitant, almost like she was afraid of the answer. Randy took another deep breath.
"It's me." Brilliant answer. Me. Like she would know who that was. He opened his mouth to clarify but he heard the click of a lock being turned, the slide of the security chain being moved. The door opened, just enough so he could see Alyssa framed in the light coming from the kitchen. Her hair was down, the ends slightly damp as they curled around her shoulders. She was wearing pink flannel pants and a soft baby blue t-shirt that failed to hide the fact the she wasn't wearing a bra. Of course she wasn't, she was dressed for bed. That realization hit him at the same time as the realization that she was scowling at him.
Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea, he thought. Maybe he should have taken Val's advice and just called.
"How do you keep getting up here?"
"Uh—" Randy snapped his mouth closed, not quite sure how to answer, when the answer should be obvious. "The front door was unlocked."
"No, it wasn't. I locked it myself."
"Well you didn't do a good job of it, because I opened the door with no problem."
"Didn't you think of maybe using the buzzer and intercom before coming up here?"
"What intercom?"
"The one right next to the door!"
"I didn't see..." Randy didn't bother finishing the sentence. This wasn't exactly how he had planned for this to go, with the two of them arguing over the front door and buzzers and intercoms. He clenched his jaw and thrust his left hand out to her. "Here. I thought you might like this."
Alyssa stepped back then looked down at the offering. Her eyes widened for a split second, then she reached out with both hands, hesitating only a little before taking the stuffed bear. Randy didn't know if it was a good thing or not that her hands were shaking, just a bit. He shoved his hands into the back pockets of his jeans and stood there, wondering what the hell to do next.
"He's so cute! Thank you."
"It's just a stupid bear." He cringed at the grudging tone in his voice. Smooth, real smooth. But Alyssa either didn't hear him, or decided to ignore him, because she hugged the plush animal closer to her and opened the door. Randy stepped inside, then moved to the side as Alyssa closed the door with a soft click.
"He really is cute. Thank you." She gave him a small smile then walked to the kitchen and placed the stuffed animal on the counter. "Oh. The rose is real? How sweet."
Randy shrugged, watching as she pulled the single pink rose from the bear's paw. She reached into a cabinet and rummaged for something, then pulled out a small vase. A few seconds later, the bear was propped next to the vase, a new centerpiece for the kitchen island. Randy hoped the small smile on Alyssa's face as she stared at the bear was a good thing, because he was still feeling a little silly for bringing it. JP had sworn to him that women loved stuffed animals, that the fluffy things always made them smile.
"He really is adorable. So fluffy. Oh, look. He's even wearing a hockey jersey. How cute." She looked over at Randy and smiled again, her expression causing a funny knot of something to form in his gut. He swallowed and tried to smile back, but figured it probably looked more like a grimace, if Alyssa's reaction was any indication.
She moved around the counter island and pulled out a stool, then raised herself up on it. Randy tried not to watch as the fabric of her shirt pulled tight across her chest, molding to the soft roundness of her full breasts. She cleared her throat and he looked up, realizing he had been caught staring. He shifted and tried to pretend his face wasn't heating in embarrassment.
"So. You stopped by at one-thirty in the morning to give me a teddy bear?"
"And a rose."
Alyssa nodded, a smile teasing the corners of her mouth. "And a rose."
"Uh, yeah." Randy rocked back on his heels and looked around the small apartment, searching his mind for something to say. This wasn't going quite as he had planned. Not that he really had a plan, but still.
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Yes. Why?" Alyssa's head tilted to the side as she studied him, her clear eyes filled with curiosity. At least she wasn't telling him to get out, which he figured he could take as a good sign.
And who the hell was he kidding? Nobody but himself. He pulled his right hand from his back pocket and dragged it through his hair with a heavy sigh. He was here, that was half the battle, right? Now he had to do what he had to do. He didn't have the right words planned, no rehearsed speech or carefully chosen words. All he had was what he was feeling. Now he just had to find the courage to tell her.
He looked over at her, watching her. It was a huge risk, trying to open himself up even a little bit. Did he really want to take it? He watched her for a long minute, almost too long if the way she shifted on the stool was any indication. Something settled inside him, something not quite calming, but close enough. He swallowed back his hesitation and closed the distance between them, until he could reach out and place his hands on her shoulders. Her head tilted back, her lips parting slightly in invitation. But instead of leaning forward and claiming her mouth, instead of taking what he really wanted, he pressed his lips against her forehead and stepped back.
"I've been an ass. A real ass. And I wanted to say I was sorry."
"Oh." Was it his imagination, or did she look disappointed? "Well, okay. Apology accepted. I guess."
"I'm not sure what we're doing, Alyssa. We've been together for over six months, but I don't even know if you think we're together. I fu—screwed up. Everything. I don't even know what's going to happen at the end of the season, if I'm going to stay here or go somewhere else or even if I'm going to play at all. But the thing that bothers me the most is the way I've treated you. I don't think I've done a very good job of letting you know how I feel, of letting you know that I want to be with you."
Randy paused from his rambling and took a deep breath. Alyssa kept looking up at him, her eyes kind of shiny, and he wondered if he was fucking this up, too. Why in the hell was this so hard? Why in the hell couldn't he find the right words?
"Did any of that make sense?"
"I...no. Well, maybe. I'm not sure."
"Shit. Of course not." He gave her shoulders a little squeeze then stepped back and ran his hand down his face. "I guess what I'm saying is...Hell, I don't know. I mean, would you like to—" No, no, that wasn't right either. He closed his eyes and tried to think.
"I don't remember it being this tough in high school. What the fuck is wrong with me?" Randy muttered the words, then opened his eyes in surprise when Alyssa laughed. That wasn't exactly the reaction he had been hoping for.
"High school? Like, when you asked someone to go steady?"
"Yeah, like that." Shit. No. How the fuck could he be so stupid? He opened his mouth to correct her, but didn't get a chance to say anything because Alyssa was suddenly in his arms, her mouth pressed against his in a kiss that was entirely too short.
"I don't think I've ever had such a sweet offer before."
"I'm not trying to be sweet." The words came out in a growl but she laughed again, her arms wrapping more tightly around his waist. She sighed and rested her head against his chest, the fresh scent of her hair teasing him. He wrapped his arms around her, slowly, in
case she changed her mind, then pulled her against him.
No, he hadn't quite been able to say what he wanted to say, but maybe this was just as good. For now, at least.
"So." He cleared his throat and tried again. "Would you mind giving this thing a second chance? Let me prove I'm not really as big an ass as I've been the last few months?"
She looked up at him, her eyes wide and bright. Randy held his breath, almost afraid of her answer. But she finally nodded, her small smile so sweet that it felt like taffy was suddenly running through his veins. He let his breath out in a rush and smiled, but couldn't find the right words to say what he needed to say.
And then the words didn't matter, because Alyssa's mouth was pressed against his, soft, warm, welcoming. His reaction was instantaneous, damn near debilitating. The kiss exploded, the heat searing as Alyssa fumbled with his jeans.
He stepped back and pulled his shirt over his head, then toed off his shoes. He reached out and gently pulled Alyssa's shirt over her head, tossing it to the side then filling his hands with her full breasts. He flicked his thumbs over each nipple, then leaned down and gently sucked. A soft sigh escaped her as she tangled her hands in his hair, holding her against him.
He straightened, his breath catching in his chest at the sight of the soft flush on Alyssa's face, her gently parted lips. He bent over and lifted her into his arms, cradling her as he carried her the short distance to the bedroom.
He wanted this to be slow, he wanted to take his time and make love to her, to draw her pleasure out all night. But Alyssa had other ideas. She shimmied out of the flannel pants then pushed his jeans down past his hips. Her hand closed over him and his head fell back, his jaw clenched against the sheer pleasure of her torment.
Then she fell onto the bed and pulled him with her. He braced himself on his elbows and looked down at her, felt himself fall into the deep whiskey-colored depths of her clear eyes.
"Alyssa—"
"I need you, Randy. Please."
The soft plea was his undoing. He rolled to the side and kicked his jeans off, pausing only long enough to grab a condom from his wallet. He sheathed himself then moved back to Alyssa, her body soft and warm beneath him.
He thrust into her, the move bold and sudden, claiming, possessing. Her head fell back on a long sigh as her hands gripped his ass. He drove into her, harder, faster, giving her more of himself with each thrust, losing himself to her with each drive.
He pushed up on his elbows and clasped her face between his hands. He needed to see her, to watch her. Needed her to see him. The urge was sudden, desperate almost.
"Alyssa. Alyssa, look at me."
Her eyes fluttered open then drifted close. Randy stilled, the action almost painful. But he needed this. He didn't question, didn't hesitate, only knew that he needed her to watch him.
"Alyssa, look at me. Please." Maybe it was the way he cupped her face, or maybe it was something in his voice. But this time, when her eyes fluttered open, they stayed open.
He moved deep inside her, burning with each slow stroke, falling deeper with each thrust. Something flared in her eyes, something he was too afraid to name, something he was afraid was nothing more than a reflection of what was showing in his own eyes.
It sent him flying over the edge, shattering. He called her name, felt her climax explode around him. He claimed her mouth with his, swallowing her cries as her arms tightened around him.
And he fell even deeper, swept away in a torrent of pleasure and pain that shattered him in a deep place he hadn't even realized existed.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Excitement permeated the atmosphere, contagious, thrilling, almost electric in its intensity. It was like a fever, jumping from one person to the next to the next.
And Alyssa was swept up in it.
She stopped at another stand on the concourse and browsed the items for sale. Her eyes automatically went to the mixed strands of red, white and blue beads. Or maybe the beads with the little hockey pucks on them—
"Alyssa, don't you think you've got enough stuff already?" Val stopped beside her and gently wrapped her hand around her wrist before Alyssa could dig for her wallet. "Seriously, you don't need anything else."
"I'm just getting into the spirit of things."
"How? By buying one of everything they sell?"
Alyssa looked down at herself. Maybe Val had a point. She was wearing her new jersey—the custom one, with Randy's name and number on the back—plus she had a small pennant emblazoned with the Banners logo. Not to mention the baseball cap and logo puck, a new t-shirt, and the bobble head and window cling, all safely wrapped and stored in the brand new logo tote bag hanging over her shoulder. Okay, so Val really did have a point. At least she hadn't bought the foam finger. She wasn't that tacky.
But she really wanted those beads. She shook off Val's hand and pulled out her wallet, pointing out the ones she wanted to the bored salesgirl. Val rolled her eyes but didn't say anything, just waited until Alyssa placed the beads around her neck.
"That's it, okay? No more stuff. C'mon, let's grab some beer and get to our seats before we miss face-off."
Alyssa dutifully followed Val as she wove through the crowds, stopping to get two large beers from another concession stand before they went to find their seats. Alyssa paused at the stop of the steps, momentarily stunned at the sight in front of her.
Everything was so...big. The arena was huge, with the ice stretching out below them and seats everywhere she looked, stretching up so high just looking up made her dizzy. At least now she knew why they were called nosebleed seats. She had never been to a sporting event, ever, so this was completely new to her. And completely beyond her expectations.
Val tugged on her arm to get her attention, then led the way down the stairs. Alyssa had no idea where they were sitting, but figured they must be good seats since Val picked them out.
Her friend turned into a row of seats, mumbling "Excuse me" as they climbed over the people who had gotten there earlier. There were only two empty seats left in the row, directly behind a wall of Plexiglas that surrounded a long bench mid-ice. Alyssa placed her large cup of beer in the cup holder, carefully sat her tote bag on the floor, and then took her seat. Val looked over at her, a bright smile on her face.
"Pretty good seats, huh?"
"Yeah. I think." Alyssa looked around, taking everything in, then leaned closer to Val so she could whisper. "What's that in front of us?"
"It's the sin bin." Val laughed at the blank look on Alyssa's face, then kicked the partition in front of her. "It's the penalty box. I figured we might actually get a chance to see Randy if we sit here."
Alyssa nodded, not really understanding but not wanting to ask any more questions, not after the guy sitting next to Val had given them an odd look. She took a sip of beer then placed the cup back in the holder as the arena lights dimmed. Spotlights circled the ice as rock music blared around them, broken by the announcer's voice as he introduced the players. There was a loud chorus of boos as the opposing team from Pittsburgh skated out on the ice, then screams and cheers as the Banners came out. People around her jumped to their feet and clapped their hands, so Alyssa did, too. The energy level escalated, sucking her in, and she readily gave into it.
The National Anthem was sung, then players from both teams lined up in the center of the ice, on either side of a referee. There was a quick second of inactivity before the puck dropped, then action exploded in front of her.
"Oh my God. Wow." Alyssa murmured the words, her head spinning as she tried to follow the game. It would have been easier if she could keep her eye on the puck, but she couldn't see it. All she could see was bodies moving along the ice with a grace and finesse she would have never expected from grown men. She squinted, searching out Randy, trying to pick him out from the other players. There he was, skating backward, swinging his stick back and forth in front of one of the players from Pittsburgh, close to the net on their left. Alyssa had no ide
a what was going on but she held her breath anyway. She finally saw the puck as it shot across the ice, a tiny black blur. Randy swung at it and sent it flying back down the ice, away from the net.
The crowd broke out in applause and cheers.
Alyssa leaned over to Val. "Was that good?"
"Yes, that was good. Now just watch."
Alyssa turned her attention back to the ice, her eyes trying to follow the action. It was harder to do than she thought it would be. Everything moved so fast: the puck, the players, everything. She had no idea the game was so fast, so intense.
At least now she knew why Randy was in such good shape.
She pushed that thought from her mind, but the brief distraction was enough for her to miss the last few seconds. A loud horn pierced the air, followed by a catchy tune with a heavy bass beat. The crowd around her surged to their feet, and Alyssa jumped up, too, watching as the players on the ice hugged each other or gave each other high-fives.
"Oh, look. They're almost like little kids celebrating!" Something nudged her in the side and she turned to see Val watching her with a smile. "What?"
"I can't wait to tell Randy you just said that." Val took her seat, and Alyssa did the same.
"I shouldn't have said that?" Alyssa was suddenly worried, wondering if she had just said something wrong. But Val just smiled and shook her head.
And that quick, the action exploded once more on the ice.
The game was fast, almost too fast, but by the middle of the second period, Alyssa was mostly able to follow the puck. She knew which net was which, once she learned that they switched sides each period, and quickly realized that it didn't matter who was shooting where, she tended to clench her fists and hold her breath whenever the play got close to the net.
Like right now. There was a cluster of players from both sides, including Randy, around the net. The Banners' net, which meant Pittsburgh had a chance to score. Which, Alyssa knew, wouldn't be good, because they were tied 2 to 2. She held her breath and watched, her eyes focused on Randy as he pushed at one of the other players and did something with his stick. A shrill whistle pierced the air as a scuffle broke out. Alyssa wanted to lean over and ask Val what was going on, but she didn't want to look away from the ice. Whatever it was couldn't be good, though, because even she could feel the tension around her.
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